Gigi Hadid, Yolanda Foster and Zayn Malik have done an okay job of dialing down the drama in the past few days. There was an explosion of information and insider quotes over the weekend, but it felt like the briefing wars might have ended. But trust that People Magazine will try to put a bow on it. And to be clear, I do think Yolanda’s camp has been the one doing most of the talking. Think what you will of Yolanda, but I believe most mothers would absolutely be doing the same in Yolanda’s place. If your 20-something daughter had a baby with a man you suspected was violent and awful, wouldn’t you stay involved, convince her to press charges, etc? I would. But Gigi seems to be insisting that Zayn is not going to be cut out of her life:
Gigi Hadid is not planning to cut off her ex Zayn Malik after their breakup and his dispute with her mom, Yolanda Hadid. The supermodel, 26, and the former One Direction singer, 28, split last month following Malik’s volatile argument with Yolanda in the Pennsylvania home he and Gigi shared at the time. Since then, they’ve been keeping their focus on their 13-month-old daughter Khai.
“Yolanda is very upset with Zayn, but Gigi has made it clear that her daughter needs her dad,” a source close to Gigi tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue, on newsstands Friday. “Gigi will do everything she can to make sure they co-parent in a civil way.”
Malik was charged with four counts of harassment in the Sept. 29 incident in which he allegedly “grabbed [Yolanda] and shoved her into a dresser,” according to court documents, which also revealed Malik allegedly hurled a series of insults at Yolanda, 57, and told her to “stay away from” his and Gigi’s daughter.
In addition to two harassment charges involving Yolanda, Malik was charged with harassing Gigi over the phone during the argument as well as a security guard, John McMahon, whom he attempted to “physically engage in a fight,” per the documents.
According to a source close to Gigi, the tensions between Yolanda and Zayn have been long-simmering.
“Yolanda is, of course, very protective of Gigi,” says the source. “She wants the best for her daughter and grandchild. She has had some issues with Zayn. He has a complicated personality, and she thinks he could treat Gigi better. It’s been hard at times for Gigi to live with him.”
I still feel really bad for Gigi and the fact that she’s trying to care for a child and be the “caretaker” of both Zayn and Yolanda’s issues. That’s not her responsibility, to manage them. Zayn is a grown-ass adult and if he can’t handle coparenting with Gigi and NOT assaulting Gigi’s mother, that’s entirely on him. Now Yolanda on the other hand… again, I understand what she’s doing and in her place, I would do the same. I wonder if Yolanda is arguing that no, you can’t coparent with a man like this.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid.
Zayn is probably a full wrecking ball and Yolanda is probably a full monster-in-law. I would not like my mother in law to get involved in my parenting stuff if I had a child with an ex, in my own home, without my consent, when the other partner is not around. Isnt that a little extreme? I think as hard as it can be, in-laws should stay in their lanes if they were not requested to get involved. But I can understand the urge to protect family, even more when it’s a child. We dont know what happened, was the child in danger, was she “trespassing” just to check up on him?, was he unable to care for the child because of substance abuse? I hope not. good luck to them, but this is not the last we’ll hear from these 3.
“Zayn is probably a full wrecking ball and Yolanda is probably a full monster-in-law” Yes! I absolutely agree with @Myjobistoprincess . Seems like a tough situation from all sides. No one is innocent here.
Yes to all of this!
I don’t like the “monster-in-law” term, I find it misogynistic and too cute. What about toxic male in laws? Yolanda undoubtedly has her faults but she still wasn’t charged with anything and doesn’t have the drug and anger problems Zayn has. If Zayn has anxiety issues maybe he needs to do something else, music and performing may just be too much for him. He’s still very young, plenty of time to change lanes, find something more suitable.
@minx – monster-in-law just references the Jlo movie with the same name. IMO monster-in-laws could just be anyone – yolandas or thomas markles
No, I know it’s from the movie, but I’ve only seen the term applied to a mother-in-law.
Why are we still looking at what Yolanda and Gigi supposedly did. Zayn already admitted he shoved Yolanda, yelled at Gigi over the phone and tussled with a security guard. Gigi and the baby are in danger unless he cleans up his act.
This still feels like the good old “she must have done something to deserve it” argument women have been facing since the beginning of time.
What exactly has Yolanda done to deserve to be assaulted?
I’m a Domestic Violence counselor. I commented on another post. I am so beyond distressed to see how 90% of the comments try to say Yolanda provoked it.
For the last time….
It does NOT matter what she did. He chose to hit her. He could have removed himself from the situation.
In groups, when there abusers would act like the blame was on the woman for dressing like a “skank” I would say… if a woman was walking naked down the street, does that give you permission to rape her?! NO. It just doesn’t.
I’m so sad reading all of this
totally with you couldnt agree more. Yolanda is not an easy cookie and she probably trespass and push his buttons no to say he wasnt wrong. Regardless is sad situation for Gigi and the child
The patchy details we have from all this give me the heeby jeebies. Poor Gigi.
Kaiser, Yolanda has been an absolute control freak long before Zayn came on the scene.
This is actually one story I am mute on because we’ve all seen Yolanda’s psychological abuse as well.
I am not a Real Housewives viewer but even without that background, the entire situation to me seems like enmeshment, that Yolanda is enmeshed in Gigi’s life and that affected Zayn and Yolanda’s relationship once Khai was born.
This isn’t an excuse for Zayn’s behavior, whatever happened between them, Zayn went too far.
This would explain why Gigi is standing firm to co-parent with Zayn, that she would not be prone to cutting Zayn off.
Enmeshment is not healthy and sets up the enmeshed children to have relationship problems because they have no boundaries, privacy or independence from their enmesher.
SouperKay and Kaiser, I wanted to stay silent, too. I want to appreciate what Yolanda is doing, but I was enmeshed with my mom. It’s awful in situations like this because they want control. To me, when a mother shows up unannounced at my house while I am on a business trip, and then there is a fight, I am going to wonder why you did that and probably will be angry. Enmeshed, narcissistic parents don’t care about their children’s boundaries. Gigi is an adult. She needs Yolanda, but not to cause drama.
Yolonda needs to be there for Gigi. She shouldn’t be showing up at the house when Gigi isn’t there. Zayn didn’t father Yolanda’s child. Zayn is volatile and suffers from anxiety. I think he emotionally abuses Gigi, but the only person who can pull Gigi out of that is Gigi, in my experience.
If there is abuse, all Yolonda should be doing is keeping channels open. If Yolanda insists on controlling her to protect her grandchild, Gigi WILL pull away if she has to. It is unclear to me if Gigi sent Yolanda to check on the baby or not. If she didn’t, Yolanda needs to keep Gigi’s trust, not take over her adult child’s life.
Short of him giving up parental rights, or the courts taking him out of the equation (either supervised visits, court-ordered therapy), she WILL be co-parenting with him, and they need to find a way to do so that will not harm their child in any way.
Yeah, @Jan. They have to go through the court process if warranted for Zayn to be “controlled”. Yolanda does not get to make that choice.
Unless Zayn hurts Gigi or the baby, Zayn WILL be coparenting with Gigi.
It is not appropriate or accurate to diagnose someone you don’t know. Reality TV is not reality. Yolanda is not being accused of violence or any crime.
Ikr. Housewives shows are hardly reliable as their goal is to tear down women, pit them against each other and show it in the most horrible light. The word reality is a joke with those shows.
Yes, all the real housewives just ham it up. The shows aren’t a barometer of anything.
Apologies, Emma, for being inappropriate on a gossip site.
I am a survivor of domestic violence, and I was enmeshed with my mother. I was in court for over 10 years trying to get away from an abuser who eventually tried to kill my kid. Sadly, I can see a narcissist from a mile away.
Oh! And I do not watch any of the Housewives franchises. I know about them through sites like this. When people do manipulative things in public, and gaslight each other, I can see that shit from 10 miles away.
Please keep your sanctimony. I will continue to call out abusive behavior if I see it based on my extensive experience fighting someone who acted like Yolanda (my mom) and like Zayn (my ex, who eventually alienated me from my kid).
Domestic violence unfolds in different ways, but the similarities are undeniable to someone like me.
Deleted
I judge her based on what I’ve heard outside of RHOBH. She always tried very hard to keep her image spotless on that show but I’m sure Mohammed and David Foster would tell a much different story (and almost did on that netflix special last year)
Gigi is the only one who looks good in all of this. I disagree with saying that Yolanda is justified in trying to cut Zayn out entirely. He’s obviously messy and needs help, but Gigi is doing the right thing by trying to coparent.
Surely that depends on whether the rumors of substance abuse and physical violence are true.
Zayn was obviously in the wrong but this idea that he’s generally an extremely violent person who shouldn’t be around his daughter based on this incident is taking it a bit far IMO. Especially when the mother has insisted he’s a good parent all along.
The first report said “ struck” which is different from shoving which is what was in the actual report. I think that’s stuck with a lot of people. Obviously he shouldn’t have done that either. But I really don’t think branding someone irremediably violent based on this incident helps. That said this guy needs to go work on himself and the best thing for them is to break up and co parent respectfully. I also don’t think he fits in the hadids ultra wealthy ambitious Beverly Hills world. He’s a working class guy from Bradford who quite frankly seems to lacks social intelligence and even seemed uncomfortable in 1D and there is some kind of culture clash with the rich kids here too. I feel for GiGi she obviously loves him and tried her best.
@Pilar – He actually has a history of violent outbursts and has pleaded no contest to 4 counts of violence against Yolanda and Gigi. He’s also been given 360 days’ probation. Where there’s smoke there’s fire and the fact that his management team dumped him immediately after the altercation certainly shows more proof that unless and until he gets some therapy, his visits with the baby should be monitored. You can’t be too careful with people who have his lack of self-discipline and impulse control.
@Pilar- I don’t think I said anywhere that he is ‘an extremely violent person’. I said co-parenting should be dependent on Malik’s behavior and addictions, if applicable. No one should be waving those things away in the name of civility, which it seemed the OP was on the verge of suggesting.
But while we’re here, in your estimation how many times does a person get to be violent, in any capacity, before we can start talking about their ability to be a good parent? He pleaded no contest to FOUR criminal charges. Not for nothing, but that’s four more than Brad Pitt was charged with and the comment sections under Malik/Hadid articles are markedly different to the ones under Jolie/Pitt articles.
Jaded- he pled no contest to harassment. He is accused of grabbing Yolanda. As far as I can tell, Gigi has not accused him of violence. None of his past girlfriends have either. Only Gigi knows for sure and knows what kind of father he is so really I think we should trust her to decide what is best. Her mom and the public should stay out of it.
Exactly, this. Whether they like it or not, he is the father and he also has parental rights. Setting up a civil way of ensuring they can co-parent is the only true solution here.
Unfortunately, I’m sure this won’t be the last of it. It sounds like he’s a violent and agressive person. We will see what kind of parenting style he has as their daughter gets older…I wish Gigi the best of luck trying to co-parent with him.
I think mothers have a natural inclination to protect their children, but I also think this situation is exacerbated by Yolanda’s personality/behavior. And I think as a parent you have to step back some and not make things worse, too. Both Yolanda and Zayn look really bad in this situation but barring some sort of immediate danger to the baby, she likely shouldn’t have tried to intervene at that moment (and I’d guess Gigi feels the same way if she is stressing she wants to continue to co-parent with him).
In the end Gigi wouldn’t have the final say, a judge would. Zayn would have to get his act together to show he can be a good and sober father without anger issues.
You know who definitely would not have the final say, though? Yolanda.
Courts are actually really hesitant to get involved in parenting disputes and a judge determining parenting time only happens if the parents can’t work out an agreement.
They’re all grown ass adults.
IMO, Yolanda needs to listen to her grown ass adult daughter (who seems to be handing this situation the best of everyone) and otherwise stay in her lane. Support her daughter, absolutely, and offer advice (if asked for it!), but it’s not her place to try to take any control. ZM is Gigi’s ex and the one Gigi has to co-parent with, so it’s Gigi’s call how to handle it.
If ZM doesn’t get help and spirals down, it seems like Gigi’s prepared to take appropriate steps (based on how she’s handled the fight and is handling the current situation). I don’t trust ZM at all… but frankly, I don’t think Yolanda can keep a calm head and make the situation better either.
💯!!!
Two things can be true at the same time: Zayn is an angry, possibly addicted mess that hit his ex-MIL and Yolanda is a controlling momager and monster in law. Nothing makes what Zayn did ok and Yolanda needs to but out of how the custody is handled.
Both can be true and I hope Gigi has a good support system aside from these two.
Absolutely!
Acknowledging that Yolanda is a difficult person doesn’t mean defending Zayn in any way.
Relationship with in-laws can be difficult but physical and verbal abuse is completely unacceptable.
Gigi is the only mature person here.
Yep, this. Both things are true. Hopefully, for the kids’ sake, all of them can dial down the drama and be stable adults.
This exactly!
‘Two things can be true’ has been the phrase running through my head while reading about this situation. The emotional conclusions some are drawing based on the sparse details we have are wild to me. Poor Gigi. I hope she has some healthy support people in her life. And hopefully Zayn gets the help he clearly needs.
Yup, Oh Hey!
He is an absolute wreck and needs help. I don’t know, I see this getting messier before it gets better, and it is in NO way Yolanda’s fault. There’s just no excuse for his behavior, guys, zero. As someone who knows what it’s like to grow up seeing your dad explode in anger (at other people and eventually myself) while having justify it somehow…there’s just no excuse.
I haven’t seen many (or any) people commenting in this story saying it’s Yolanda’s fault or excusing or justifying ZM’s behavior.
Scroll down.
Nope, still don’t see many people saying it’s Yolanda’s fault or excusing or justifying ZM’s behavior. In fact, several commenters that point out Yolanda’s history of troublesome behavior (on a story about her behavior, so it’s on topic) also say it doesn’t excuse what ZM did.
And there it is.
If it doesn’t excuse it, why is this such a huge talking point?
Yolanda is an ass. But Gigi is in a cycle with an abuser. Of course she’s concerned.
She’s being called all kinds of names like “momster-in-law” and people are saying she’s equally at fault and equally bad as the man who literally shoved her, a 57-year-old woman, into a dresser. Lots of misogyny going around. It’s really disgusting to see from what I assume are mostly women on here.
And there what is?
@maria, Yolanda’s behavior is a talking point because this specific celebitchy post is about Yolanda’s behavior. So her behavior is going to be talked about. In other stories mainly focused on ZM’s behavior, it was right to call out those who brought up hers…the focus wasn’t on her. But in this case, in this story, it is.
And other posters much more eloquent than I am have discussed why her behavior is relevant and potentially problematic to what Gigi is now dealing with (and let me add so that I’m not accused of defending ZM, or saying that her behavior in any way makes what he did ok or even rises to the level of his…but I’m also not going to be gatekept by anyone saying it’s wrong of me to mention Yolanda’s behavior at all because ZM’s is worse).
@Emma, I just don’t see anyone commenting on this post who have said ” she’s equally at fault and equally bad as the man who literally shoved her, a 57-year-old woman, into a dresser”. If you’re talking about twitter or insta, sure. But in this story here? These comments? I don’t see it, unless there’s some extrapolation going on.
Also, no one used “momster-in-law.” Monster-in-law, yes. But Momster is a lot more misogynistic than monster (IMO let me add). Those who used monster-in-law have already spoken about their use of it.
And others who have dealt with problematic in laws have spoken about their experiences. As someone entirely too familiar with toxic family dynamics, there’s a reason the specter of a toxic in law causes comment. Just as those who have dealt with abusers are discussing their experiences. There’s actually someone commenting on this story who has dealt with both situations simultaneously, and their words are really worth reading, IMO.
This post is about Gigi and her mother not about Yolanda’s past behavior.
The arguments about her mother’s past behavior are problematic whether you attach a disclaimer or not, in a discussion about this abuse.
I’m not a moderator so I am not gatekeeping your comments. But I’m free to disagree with them as much as you are to disagree with mine. And mentioning her previous behavior is re-centering the discussion to try to take the heat off the person who actually attacked someone else. It’s worse than saying you don’t believe it happened at all, frankly.
I’ve been reading all the comments, including that person’s, including yours. They are still the same kinds of comments that kept me from leaving my abusive partner for years and when I did, made me feel like it was all my fault. And I have dealt with family enmeshment too. Family members can be toxic and still help you when you are being abused. I know by experience.
This post is about Gigi basically shutting her mother down, which in turn leads to people talking about Yolanda’s past behavior, just like posts about ZM led to people bringing up HIS past behavior. I don’t see an issue in either context. As you said, we disagree.
The re-centering the issue on Yolanda (on a story about her) instead of ZM doesn’t make sense to me, since this story is not really about him. But, it’s your opinion, and I disagree with it, just as you disagree with mine.
I’ve been reading all the comments, too, and the ones that say any mention of Yolanda’s behavior is wrong (because ZM’s is worse) frankly trigger me. They are similar to the comments that left me stuck in a highly toxic family environment for years, where I was so gaslit and depressed I’m still dragging myself out of it decades later. I call out that kind of toxic behavior when I see it for my own sanity, because it is wrong how normalized it is for society to excuse toxic or enmeshed (sometimes soul-destroying) behavior ‘because they’re family.’
You have no idea what other kind of toxic relationships I’ve had or witnessed up close. Family members can be toxic and help when you’re being abused, yes, but they can also make things worse. I know by experience, too. And I’m not the only person who has mentioned that in these comments.
Being able to discuss both kinds of bad behavior makes me feel noticed. And I know for a fact that if my current relationship turned bad, I would not want my mother or my siblings anywhere near me trying to ‘help’. They would only make things worse for me in numerous ways and they’d do their best to destroy my mental well being in the process. As you can tell, the scars left by my birth family cut deeper than others.
I’m sorry you had the experience you did. And I’m sorry I’ve had the experiences that I have. We obviously have come out with different outlooks though.
I’m puzzled as to why you think I’m assuming anything about your life or trying to gatekeep you etc.
We’re having a discussion. And it’s fine if you want to say the discussion of her behavior triggers you but nobody is saying she is ok, and if they are that’s a different discussion. But the point is that she still is worried about her daughter – that is what the article is about, not her behavior on a reality show or her past marriage or whatever you want to make it about. I’m responding because the disclaimer of her behavior somehow indicating she has nefarious intentions towards the man who accepted four charges of harassment towards her and her daughter makes no sense. It’s a different discussion altogether. Yes, she’s a crappy person. But tying it into her being worried about her daughter? Involves common socialized talking points and methods used to deflect from abuse. Even stopped clocks are right twice a day. And other people have the right to admit feeling triggered by your comments in turn because the concept of the faultless victim being the only victim worth listening to is a thing.
I’m sorry for your experiences.
Agree to disagree.
I’m commenting again because I can’t edit it and thought better of my comment.
I’m very sorry you had that experience. I’m sorry if my words were hurtful and I think we both have had painful times. It does make us more likely to get very on edge about this topic. So I apologize for that and am very sorry you suffered. I don’t mean to be callous and understand where you’re coming from. We just had different perspectives coming from our experiences.❤️
I am grateful to all of you for this thoughtful, nuanced, earnest and courteous and kind discussion. And I appreciate Maria’s final message so much. Apologies in this medium are rare.
Looks like Gigi and her mom knew how this should be spun to make Gigi look good in the eyes of the court. No parental alienation here.
But also, begs the question why our courts think physically abusive partners are entitled to parent vulnerable children.
Do you think that courts receive one or two child abuse cases a month or something, and can casually cut parents off from their kids? My god, we would have so many more kids in foster care if this was the case. First off, check out the statistics for child abuse, and what the spectrum of abuse can be. The goal is generally to get the abuser help and to reconcile the parents with kids over time. It is not a perfect system by any means, but abuse within a family unit is far more common than people realize. Your final statement is ridiculously unrealistic.
@jules 👏👏 Exactly.
Gigi & Zayn are adults and if they can find a way to co-parent in a healthy way, then that’s the best for their little girl. Yolanda is controlling and a stage mom, but she needs to just sit back on this one. I get being protective over your child and grandchild, but Gigi seems to be able & responsible enough to handle this on her own.
Guys, I’m a foreigner where I live. My relationship with my inlaws tanked the minute after they knew I was pregnant with my first child and it took until the eldest was in flipping 2nd grade to improve. Cultural differences and personality issues led to some really rough situations. I did not want to drink alcohol when pregnant at all. I did not share the future children’s names. I insisted on raising my kids bilingual (my inlaws don’t speak much English). Religion, holidays, the fact that my kids’ names were too anglophone… food, clothing, politeness, amount of time outdoors… how much say older people have in raising the children of their children… It flipping took years for us to get back to normal and now they’re great, but it was rough!
I’m sharing this with you to say this: we didn’t scream flipping insults (ie, f-ing Dutch slut, etc) at each other and there was never any physical altercation, because this is normal behavior! Zayn is the only one to make sure that Zayn doesn’t scream or act violently. No matter how flipping difficult Yolanda is, she cannot make him do sh*t: Zayn is responsible for his own actions. Not Yolanda.
That said, I hope that everyone can get help and be able to deal with each other as adults in the best interests of all involved.
Here we go with the comments painting Yolanda being “as bad” as Zayn. It’s pathetic.
I think they’re oil and gas and the should each give the other a wide, wide berth. Gigi and the baby should NOT be in the middle of this or be used by either side to antagonize the other.
I think the challenge is that Yolanda has been a celebrity for long enough to have an established public persona. Prior to this incident, if anyone were asked about who Yolanda was (or appeared to be, given things she has chosen to say or do on camera over the course of several years), there would be several things to speak of on a spectrum from questionable to pretty terrible.
Apparently a mother being concerned that an abusive jerk may be using her grandchild as leverage in an abusive relationship makes her bad.
Yolanda has tons of issues and is problematic as hell but she is reacting as any decent mother would in this situation.
Gigi and Zayn broke up several times. And you know what? It fits with the pattern that trying to leave an abuser takes several attempts. And his behavior also fits with the pattern that abusers trap victims with babies to control them for life.
I wasn’t going to get in this conversation because I’m biased. I’m an older woman with a adult daughter. If I suspected any form of abuse against my child, no matter how old she is, I would intervene! I mean we are always hearing how abused women won’t leave their abuser because they don’t have support from anyone. How many times do we hear from parents, who said they had no idea the abuse was going on? It’s because they are not involved with their children enough. I’m sure I will get a lot of guff for saying this but yes, in some instances need to be more involved in their grown, adult children. And even more so if I thought my grandchild is being neglected ( living in a risky situation) or god forbid, abused, I would turn into a monster-in-law too! Give Yolanda Hadid some credit for protecting her child. And no, I have never watched one single episode of Real Housewives of any city. :~)
@sudie good lord. So you genuinely think that daughters who are abused have mothers who aren’t involved enough? That’s an incredibly damaging view to have. Maybe you’re thinking that to convince yourself it couldn’t happen to your children but it’s problematic as hell.
And you know – intervening no matter what could contribute to more abuse or more severe violence.
Being an involved parent doesn’t make their children immune to abuse. And believe it or not the reasons people stay with abusers isn’t largely that their mothers didn’t stay involved enough in their children’s lives. Fear. Isolation. Financial limitations are HUGE favors. And let’s not pretend abusers are some shady strangers twirling a mustache. Many are INCREDIBLY charming and convince everyone around them that they’re the picture perfect partner.
Exactly. I bet all of us have watched some crime show depicting true stories that started like this. She may be wrong in all other aspects of her life but her worry is justified, this time.
Zayn needs help for his anger management and “rumored” substance abuse issues. He is in the wrong for escalating this into a physical encounter. Keep your hands to yourself. That being said, Yolanda needs to sit down and mind the business that pays her. I’m reading this as she took Gigi’s not being around to be a license to go over and start micro-managing, throw her weight around. I feel sorry for Gigi, those two sound like a whole lot and she shouldn’t have to be the referee.
Gigi seems to be the only adult in this situation.
I just hope he never hurts Gigi or their child. That’s what worries me. He clearly has issues and needs help. And honestly, those hell-bent on defending him and excusing his behavior need help as well.
I agree milliemollie. And I suspect if they were ever in that situation they would feel differently.
Yes. Or what I fear that they think they “deserved” it.
I am concerned about what all this stress will do to Zayn Malik. He is already a seemingly fragile guy with huge anxiety and substance abuse issues (if the rumors are true) and something like this could cause a free fall. Hopefully, he does whatever it takes to become a better man for the sake of his child. As far as Gigi I think she will take some steps back from her career to be more present with Khai because Zayn likely cannot be fully trusted yet. I have read that Gigi is meeting with custody lawyers and I think a very strict visitation and custody agreement is in play now.
What a mess. Meanwhile, Anwar took off to London to be with Dua.
Zayn is definitely in the wrong and needs to get his shit under control, but I don’t think Yolanda gets a pass yet. Like, why exactly did she show up when Gigi was not home? Did she suspect Zayn was endangering the kid OR…was she looking to start some shit and then got surprised when it got out of hand? I’m normally extremely pro-woman and anti-violence but it’s quite possible Zayn’s irritation (not his actions) is justified.
Yep!
You’re normally pro-woman but believe the reason Zayn reacted was justified. Due to what? Her persona on a reality show…which is scripted? Zayn admitted that he was physical, not just with Yolanda but tried to be with the security guard as well. We also know that we’ve seen Zayn get into two public fights just in the last couple years, that we know of! I think if Yolanda just walked into Zayn’s house unannounced, Zayn would be able to charge her with something, there was clearly a reason she went there. What is your reasoning on why Zayn called Gigi and berated her? Is that justified too? I’m so disgusted with these comments. You are not pro-woman or anti-violence.
Bravo!!! This so much.
You’re not pro woman if that’s your take on this. Have a seat.
Some people really do believe that a child needs two parents- even if one is violent, abusive, has addiction issues that make them unsafe to be around, or are otherwise toxic.
Not about Gigi necessarily but society as a whole- is the idea of a cookie cutter family so important that it’s worth putting your kid’s mental and physical health in jeopardy? Is trauma more acceptable than the stigma of divorce?
I have a tenuous relationship with my dad now that he’s seeking recovery but we did not speak for years. And I’m eternally grateful my mom went the single mother route, as hard as it was, to protect us.
In general, people lack understanding of abuse, trauma, family systems, attachment theories and basic psychology and child development. Not to mention how the court system works. So these oversimplified statements, based on your own personal experiences, are simply biased.
When I read this I thought Zayn forgot he is a Brown, Muslim, immigrant. Then I thought how he would not have accepted a plea deal and fought with righteous rage if he were a privileged white man. I think his attorneys reminded him that while his wealth affords him privilege – the legal system is only designed at keeping white hierachies in place. Ultimately as an immigrant if he had not taken a deal he might have lost his immigrant status and been deported back to England and made Co parenting a logistical nightmare. I know the pattern of white women overstepping their boundaries and the detriment of their white tears in the lives of all poc. Imagine just for a second if Yolanda was Brown, Muslim, immigrant and Zayn was a white man. How would this situation be different? Zayn probably recieved sound legal advice on how stacked the odds were against him in the American legal system and how much of a disadvantage he was at. White women are always believed because they are the up holders of systemic white supremacy. In a white hierachal system and post colonial mindset they are only second in command to white men.
No lies told.
He may be an abusive a-hole, but you are absolutely correct about his REAL standing in the American legal system.
If this were an accused Black man there would be felony charges and jail time, not a fine and probation. And one of the charges was harassing Gigi not just Yolanda.
This argument is an insult to Black and Brown men actually falsely accused.
Zayn’s mother is just as white as Yolanda. Presumably she had something to say about this mess since the family was rallying around him and he was still charged.
Gigi has a Palestinian Jordanian father and a Caucasian European mother. Zayn has a Pakistani father and a Caucasian European mother. In an ethnic argument plenty of people would say Gigi’s heritage as a Palestinian does not make her a POC and I am not going to dispute that aspect, but in the courts of the United States, bigoted judges and prosecutors are not going to look at her and say “Oh, she’s one of us, give her and her mother preference over Zayn.”
Not getting into the rest of your comment. But just to say Gigi has spoken about having white privilege because of how she looks. She is also an American citizen. He is not. And their families are wildly different despite both being mixed raced. Her father is a millionaire and she grew up in mansions. He grew up working class in the north of England and bought his parents their first house ( and his sisters). So there are class and race differences here that are a bit more layered than what you seem to imply.
And yet, Zayn’s net worth is much higher than hers.
Bigoted US judges and prosecutors don’t care where he grew up in England.
Those are also different layers and nuances.
Having American citizenship might influence it, I grant you that, but that doesn’t stop hate crimes occurring against minorities who are citizens, so perception makes a difference here if we’re talking about privilege.
Gigi has also said that when she is open about her heritage she experiences problems.
All this is not to say Zayn hasn’t experienced racism, but the argument that this is some sort of Emmett Till situation makes no sense.
Gigi wasn’t even home! This is the problem a lot of non-yt people have with this situation. First off I did the deep dive and none of the zayn stories of previous actions have him as the aggressor. But, everyone has just assumed he’s an abusive psycho who is beating Gigi and poor Yolanda is saving her daughter from brown boogie man. None of that is supported. They had a toxic relationship, but Gigi felt comfortable with him keeping Khai by himself. That’s what I have an issue with.
I agree that he has money and power here, but the reality is that racism is in every aspect of society here. He’s no Emmet Till, but he LOOKS like a man of color. The bias is there if he gets a biased judge. There were plenty of racists judges on the bench during my case. They roll in and out in a long custody case.
@Kfg – Gigi was not physically present but she knew her mother was there in the home that both she and Zayn shared and he was verbally abusing her.
If there was a bodyguard involved that raises all sorts of questions as to who was comfortable with who, and I don’t mean just Yolanda.
Zayn is not a brown boogieman obviously but it doesn’t mean that their toxic relationship didn’t turn violent.
@Christina – I am skeptical that if there were a biased judge that they would let him off with a fine and probation instead of something more serious. Judges can refuse to offer plea deals at all if they choose. But maybe you would know more than me.
Even if he’s wealthier than her their current situation are still impacted by growing up in totally different class and financial situations He supports his family financially. Gigi’s parents are both very wealthy. And like the other commentator says he looks like POC, she has acknowledged that she looks white and therefore that gave her privilege. Mixed race people don’t all have the same experiences. ( I am from a mixed raced family myself and we have had different experiences of racism within my family).
Given that Mohamed Hadid had such a presence in Bel-Air, LA and Beverly Hills then I can see that being influential. Anyway, that’s not really my point.
They’re both global stars, and that makes an impact on the situation too.
I can understand her having privilege from looking white, but this isn’t a situation where she and her heritage are covered up (because of the legal sense).
Of course racism is different to all people. And he will be the subject of it. But that doesn’t mean that this didn’t happen. Now, the framing of the event is a different thing, and yes there have been outlets and people painting it racially. And nobody needs to paint Yolanda as a saint, she isn’t. But anyone can be an abuser.
The story would be more questionable to me if this relationship hadn’t been toxic for years and if Gigi had absolutely no idea that this went on in her absence. But neither of those things are true. She seems to accept that this did happen and it was enough for her to want to break up with him but she will try to co-parent.
Imagine if Jameela Jamil, Ol**** M***, Sunny Leone, Constance Wu, or some other controversial or difficult woc took a plea deal after calling a man a Dutch f***** and shoving or hitting him? Something definitely seems to be helping Zayn online that wouldn’t help any of those women in the same situation.
Honestly, I think if Yolanda was the brown Muslim immigrant and Zayn was the white male boybander or rocker who got physically and verbally abusive, he’d still have defenders. Most of the defenders would just have to fund a different way to do it though. And they would. His victim would probably get less attention though.
There’s a lack of details in these stories. Did Zayn walk across a room to push Yolanda or was she in his face yelling and he pushed her away? To me you can’t invade someone’s home and their space and when they react, act the victim.
The police was called so if Zayn was high or drunk there would have been child endangerment charges,no?
If Yolanda had actually been “invading” his home, she would have been charged with trespassing. So that’s quite a weak argument. There aren’t only two possible scenarios here – it’s very likely that Gigi gave her permission to come to her home, for reasons that have nothing to do with Zayn “endangering” the child. Furthermore, while you don’t know a lot of the details, the police do – they would not press charges unless there was sufficient reason to do so, and bear in mind that victims in these situations do have a say in whether charges are pursued. I suggest you actually look at the realities of the situation and learn more about how the system works before you go defending someone who the court has deemed to be the perpetrator, not the victim. People don’t just get charged for harassment for nothing.
Yolanda is setting up Gigi for failure if the elder believes there is any way short of court involvement to keep Zayn out of Khai’s life. Her continued interference could lead to Zayn having increased parenting time away from Gigi.
It’s a terrible system that often enables abuse but that’s the court system we deal with. The truth is that Gigi and Khai are better served if Yolanda keeps her interference to a minimum and instead, provides emotional and legal support away from Zayn.
If he’s truly the mess she fears, Zayn will tank this without her help.