J.Lo tries to rebrand herself as “Lola,” releases annoying song

Jennifer Lopez is trying to shed that hated J.Lo moniker once and for all and is trying to rebrand herself as “Lola,” as in “whatever Lola wants.” “Lola” has a new single out along with a laughable faux-mysterious website, WhoIsLola.com (warning: bad music on that link) that seems like it’s at least four years out of date, much like J.Lo herself. Lola wants a career comeback, but a new name isn’t going to cut it. The new single, “Fresh Out the Oven,” featuring Pitbull and produced by the Neptunes, is above. The song lacks the catchy dance appeal of Lopez’s old hits and there’s something super repetitive and annoying about it. Good pop music gets stuck in your head, this song just makes me want to switch it off.

In August, Lopez told In Style Magazine that she wouldn’t release new music unless she felt that it was authentic. “I’m at a point in my life when I just don’t feel the need to put out anything unless I totally, absolutely feel it says what I want to say.” What the hell is this then? It doesn’t have any message other than being a mediocre hookup song. I looked up the lyrics because I don’t want to have to listen to this song again, and they include “Love, fresh out the oven, straight sugar lovin,” and “you say you want the cookie, you’ve gotta wait for the cookie.” Is this “absolutely” what J.Lo/Lola wants to say – “wait for the cookie?” Maybe Lola doesn’t have the same standards as her highness.

In related J.Lo news, she’s got a new perfume ad coming out for “My Glow” in which she poses in the ads with a baby that’s not one of her twins. (Because, you know, babies love perfume and it’s so safe to spray it around them.) She also has an invitro comedy “The Backup Plan” coming out in 2010, and at least three films in the works. Maybe she should stick to acting. I have to admit that I find Lopez kind of likable in films with the obvious exception of Gigli. Her music career just seems like it should be over, though.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are shown at the “Congressional Hispanic Caucus Institute’s 32nd Annual Awards Gala at Walter E. Washington Convention Center” in Washington, DC on 9/16/09. Credit: L.Gallo/WENN.com

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43 Responses to “J.Lo tries to rebrand herself as “Lola,” releases annoying song”

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  1. ellie says:

    her spokesperson already said its NOT ture, that this song is going to be a single or whatever.. i gues its just a demo leaked

  2. lulu says:

    awful, high pitched screeching noise. Had to switch it off. Oh dear.

  3. ellie says:

    oh yeah and btw.. AWFUL song.. why cant she make one good song anymore???

  4. Celebitchy says:

    @ellie can you please provide a link for that? I had a slow start this morning. Thanks!

  5. Tess says:

    She was good—-very believable— in “Blood and Wine.”

  6. Lee says:

    Oh dear. Ghastly, amateurish. I thought at the beginning of the track she was going for a Nellie Furtado ripoff, then it just got bad. Had to shut it down.

  7. Chris X says:

    My dog just died screaming with blood coming out of his ears cause I couldn’t stop that screeching fast enough. If she has to rebrand herself can it be as “Mrs Sit your ass at home and take care of those children you always said you wanted”

  8. susan says:

    so she stole Madonna’s name and Angie’s emeralds. nice.

  9. Kimberly says:

    I’m drooling over those shoes .

  10. princess pea says:

    “Angie’s emeralds.”

    Huh? Only one person can wear emeralds?

  11. Praise St. Angie! says:

    yeah, and “Lola” is what Madonna calls Lourdes, not herself.

    regardless of whose nickname it is, can only ONE person have that nickname?

  12. waldemar says:

    Love it that J.Lo likes to distant herself from that name. J.Lo is the nickname her fans gave her.

    She will always be Jello for me anyway.

  13. Sakota says:

    With me, no matter how matronly Marc makes her dress, she’ll always be one of P. Diddy’s former concubines.

  14. Cristina says:

    Ok, she is just way too old. Let it go, people are laughing at you!

  15. Enonymous says:

    Lola? She should stick with J.Lo and stop embarrassing herself any further. We already had that alter ego “Sasha Fierce” crap from Beyonce. J.LO is a much cooler nickname then Lola anyway.

  16. Cristina says:

    oh and ps, no one wants your dried out cookie. too old to sing club songs- who wants 50 year old women (being facetious) at clubs!

  17. Michelle says:

    You go Jennifer!!!. I love this song. Power to woman who are about something and fu** those who are about nothing.

    L.O.V.E. (make it last)

  18. Vermithrax says:

    Ever since she put that tune out with Ja Rule… the one where they’re going on about “straight thuggin’” my JLo setting has been on auto-cringe.

    I did like her in that flick she did with Clooney though.

  19. Eileen Yover says:

    Nice shoes, bad song, and bad name. And why would you make a website “whoislola”? Like everyone is going “WOW this song! So good! I’ve never heard this voive before! Who is Lola? I’m going to search the internet!”

  20. ebgirl says:

    Ugh, can’t stand her in anything. She’s a terrible, terrible actress and not even a studio full of high-tech equipment can make her voice sound decent (as evidenced by this horrific song). Please make her go away…

  21. lrm says:

    Okay,why can’t she just quietly enjoy her loyal fan base and dolce and gabbana friends…..you know? do her semi-royalty thing in life…like barbara streisand,cher,even celine dion allowed herself to fade quietly-doing shows for her life-long fans….

    J. Lo really needs to let it go….already. Same with Madonna,but at least she is trying to stay relevant with [albeit pseudo]charity and social documentary type stuff…and she rides on her freebie 24/7 media coverage of her personal life,as well. And,honestly,she’s way more influential,historically,than J. Lo ever way—so I’ll go back to J. Lo:
    Get a series of shows in Vegas,sit back,enjoy your little ones a bit,sing with Marc now and then. Heck,design a dress or two,act in a film here and there,and call it a day!

  22. voodoobety says:

    Actually Madonna did brand herself with the name LOLA back when the SEX book came out. If you have a copy read the back half of the book. She then rather creepily passed the moniker onto her daughter.

  23. Dee says:

    Marc Anthony calls her Lola he came up with the name for her he started it. He even includes it in his most recent spanish songs he’s always saying Te amo Lola.
    That’s where Lola came from Marc :-)

  24. Frenchie says:

    Well, she used the jenny from the block in a song, and also signed an album as J-Lo (JELLO)
    Trying to reinvent herself, trying to get some personnality ??
    I don’t get the relation ship between Jennifer and Lola. I do get it for Lourdes.

  25. Praise St. Angie! says:

    voodoobety, I stand corrected.

    (I actually never saw that book…surely remember the hype surrounding it when it came out, but never cracked the cover.)

  26. Maritza says:

    Lola is Marc’s pet name for her. She looks so much better with short hair, she should cut it like that.

  27. shibajonz says:

    Her manager, Benny Medina, came up with “J. Lo” for the release of her first album, “On the 6″. It was part of his positioning of her – establishing her ‘street cred’- to say that her fans spontaneously called her that.

  28. Gistine says:

    Someone needs to put a fork in this pig because she is done. How anyone ever thought she had one ounce of talent is beyond me. Can’t sing, can’t act and don’t get me started on her tacky-ass clothes. Her ass is the one who should have gotten an agent.

  29. hatsumomo says:

    Man those shoes are a gotta have! Even Jocelyn Wilderstien has a pair, she wore them last nite. On Dlisted photos..

  30. JustMe says:

    Her eyes indicate heavy cocaine use.

    I really can’t stand this no-talent.

  31. Sakota says:

    “thought she had one ounce of talent is beyond me. Can’t sing, can’t act and don’t get me started on her tacky-ass clothes. Her ass is the one who should have gotten an agent”

    Like most pop stars she has ahd some fun songs, but her pretention is ridiculous. No matter what, she will never be the respectable lady that Marc tries to make her.

  32. yadira says:

    I thought P Diddy nicknamed her J.LO? Maybe I am mistaken since I don’t care much for her

  33. cat says:

    OMG – How Awful!! A woman her age singing a song like this – she is just embarrassing herself – AGAIN!!

  34. Kathie says:

    Thanks for a day of inner giggles cause this story reminded me of the slightly mentally confused elderly Mother of one of my friends (whew! what a title) who used to call her alternately Lo J. and J.Ho it was killing! Or maybe not so confused!

  35. Ana says:

    I love those shoes as well until I saw them on one of the Kardashian sisters. I get them confused.
    It ruined them for me :(

    Those eyes….freak me out.
    I also thought that P Diddy named her that. She tried to get rid of it after they broke up but it stuck.

  36. TwinkleToes says:

    Okay, this is her first try back. She’s testing the waters. Look out for her next single. She will pull it off. She will do the right thing and she will have worked for it. She’s no slacker. Just gotta get steady on her feet, is all.

  37. Roseloans says:

    It’s incredible how many haters are out there. Let it be! So what if she has no singing talent; she must be doing something right she is a multi-millionaire. Everyone has a past (Like Jesus said “The one with no sin throw the first rock” Go J.LO/Lola or whatever you want to call yourself… YOU GOT IT GOING ON!!!!!.

  38. hunnybe says:

    @ 38 you sound like a total fool. Comparing J-Lo to Jesus is just ignorant. Since when did she become a Savior to anyone? J-lo is washed up and old news and really needs to go somewhere and sit down.

  39. Kat Smith says:

    Just use your REAL name for a REAL person JENIFER> It’s a beautiful name. Screw the phony “nicknames” and renames and wtf! BE REAL> Love who you REALLY ARE!

  40. Brooklyn07 says:

    Love J.Lo, its very New York. Looking at her pictures she no longer looks happy, maybe that marred thing sedentary life.
    Wish her the best

  41. Spirit says:

    The song is horrible for so many reasons. I never understood why she went ghetto with her music. Her original sound was great – latin/pop/dance. I wish she’d stick with Jennifer Lopez too instead of the stupid nicknames. Her real name worked for her originally, should’ve stuck with it. She is very talented, but her last couple of CD’s haven’t worked for me. This song is the worse yet. Don’t know why she feels a need to prove her street creed. She’s still strikingly beautiful and I’ve enjoyed all her movies (never did see Gigli though) – just wish she’d get back to her style of music. As for too old – come on folks, nobody ever says that about male entertainers, only females. Tired of hearing how Madonna & J Lo are too old. They look great & still very talented.

  42. Sandra Ortiz says:

    I think that if jlo wants her career back she needs to drop that sticky hubby of hers who seems to have her on lock down. She dresses and acts differently since she married him. It’s your choice jlo your career or your suffocating husband.