Dina Lohan introduces her cracked-out shoe line “Shoe-Han”

Lindsay Lohan appearance at Bloomingdale's for Fashion's Night Out in NYC
Considering everyone loathed Lindsay Lohan’s last foray into fashion – something about glassy eyes, heart-shaped pasties, cheesy, cheap hooker-wear and crack pipes – you’d think that no one would ever want to get involved in anything with the words “Lohan” and “fashion/clothing/leggings/shoes” ever, ever again. You would be wrong. Someone had the bright idea to allow Dina Lohan to have her own “celebrity” shoe line. Dina has named this line… wait for it… Shoe-Han. Was “Turd-Han” not available? What about Crack-Han? Budget-Han? Here’s the press release:

Dina Lohan, diva and star of the hit E! show “Living Lohan,” as well as mother to actress and starlet Lindsay, will be holding a major press conference and media reception on Thursday October, 8th at 2pm at Trump Plaza, 725 5th Avenue, Floor 21, Marc Fisher showroom, to announce a creation of her new own shoe line, “Shoe-han” as well as becoming a national spokesmodel for the popular LoveMyShoes.com retail designer ladies footwear stores.

Other celebrities that have sold millions of shoes include: Vanessa Hudgens, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, Star Jones, Carlos Santana and more.

LoveMyShoes.com hopes to have Dina’s shoes available world-wide from coast to coast by Mother’s Day. She will be appearing as a shoe fashionista later this on month on television and radio commercials. The shoe store chain was founded on Long Island, home of the Lohan family.

[From Dina Lohan’s Press Release via News Blaze]

So… I think the shoes are like Payless, only grosser. Not that Payless shoes are gross… I’ve owned a few pairs of Payless shoes in my day, and some are quite alright. It’s just that something about “Shoe-Han” just screams “cheap” to me, and not just in the financial way. Also, not that the press release refers to Lindsay Lohan as “actress and starlet”. Seriously? Are we still labeling her that way? I must have missed that memo. I’m still labeling her “unemployed crackhead Lindsay Lohan”. And her “famewhoring budget-shoe designer mother, Dina”.

Lindsay Lohan appearance at Bloomingdale's for Fashion's Night Out in NYC

Lindsay Lohan appearance at Bloomingdale's for Fashion's Night Out in NYC

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42 Responses to “Dina Lohan introduces her cracked-out shoe line “Shoe-Han””

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  1. crash2GO2 says:

    I actually can’t wait to see what they look like. In a horribly fascinated sort of way…

  2. TwinkleToes says:

    Holy Wow. I hope someone has the balls to call her out on being a famously bad mom at that press conference. I also hope her house get t.p.’ed on Halloween. You know, the house that she couldn’t pay the property taxes on.

  3. princess pea says:


    diva (noun) : a distinguished female singer; prima donna

    Dina… Diva? Please say it’s a typo.

  4. *Lee* says:

    Is that one of the Ronson’s posing with them? I thought they hated Lindsay.

  5. Meghan says:

    Whatever she designs is probably not going to be very cute, but I cannot imagine someone going “What kind of shoes are those?” “Oh, they’re Shoe-Hans.” I would die of embarrassment to have to say that, or to hear a friend say that.

    Then again, while most normal people would be running away from such a disasterous line as Lindsay’s (plus the leggings, plus the spray tan), these people believe they are amazing and people will buy whatever they create just for that name.

  6. TaylorB says:

    Shoe-Han?!?!? Classy.

    I bought a pair of bridesmaid shoes at a Payless once, we had to buy the ones you can have dyed, because it was an Easter wedding my friend thought it would be ‘fun’ to have our full legnth, poofy, frilly, gowns in the colors of easter eggs (lt pink, yellow, lt blue, lt purple, lt orange, and lt lime green.)

    The shoes were ugly, dyed orange, and uncomfortable as hell…somehow it seems that the Shoe-Han line would be a perfect fit for Payless.

  7. hannah says:

    lee, the woman with them looks like the other ungaro designer from this past weekend.

  8. Praise St. Angie! says:

    I’m with you, crash2GO2…I want to see them just for curiosity’s sake – that is, to see just how ugly they are.

  9. Amy says:

    The woman with them looks like Bruno with long hair. Das ist ein nein nein, ja?

  10. audrey says:

    I think Whore-Han has a nice ring to it.

  11. Popcorny says:

    Okay, my computer’s going to crash for typing this … but … Dina looks better than she has and if she got “something done” it was done right.
    She looks younger and better than her daughter (and so does Yoda, so that’s not saying much).
    And, yes, the designer is a dead-ringer for a feminine looking Sam Ronson -it’s those glowery eyes.

  12. the original kate says:

    that family is just one big trainwreck.

  13. Lem says:

    poor Ali left out again

  14. Andrea says:

    I am so relieved as I was trying to figure out where Dinah has been while Lindsay’s been making a fool of herself. Glad to see she’s been doing something productive for herself and only herself instead of Lindsay and her other daughter who seems to be going down the same destructive path. Go Dinah and all the other horrible stage parents!

  15. viper says:

    She looks like a roasted turkey.

  16. TaylorB says:

    Popcorny wrote: “She looks younger and better than her daughter (and so does Yoda, so that’s not saying much).”

    Oh. My. God. I just about busted a gut laughing at that comment. Thank you.

  17. GatsbyGal says:

    I totally thought the thumbnail photo for this article was Lindsay, not Dina.

  18. Firestarter says:

    Popcorny- The Yoda comment was too funny! Thanks for the only laugh I have had all week.

  19. mollination says:

    Ha! That’s exactly what jumped out to me too! “Actress AND starlet” as though they’re aware that she’s not really famous for being an actress, and as though one can be a starlet without being an actress (or for that matter singer, designer, entertainer, SOMETHING OF TALENT). Which, I guess in today’s world, one can.

  20. Katyusha says:

    Whenever I see pictures of these chicks, I’m even happier about the fact that I quit smoking.

  21. JustMe says:

    I received an email regarding the ShoeHan line yesterday: when will these Lohans stop?

  22. Ol Hank says:

    ShoeHan sounds an awful lot like Shoe Horn, which is a device you use to get your too tight shoes on and off. I like the sound of ShoeWhore, though. It is very fitting for these two.

  23. Praise St. Angie! says:

    (GatsbyGal, I did too!)

    ShoeHan might work if their name was LOOhan but, as far as cleverness goes, LOhan to SHOEhan is pretty lame.

    SOLEhan would be better, but they might get sued by Cole Haan. StrollHan? GOhan?

    will I buy any? NOhan.

  24. TaylorB says:


    Good idea, I think GOhan would be apropos.

  25. Sox says:

    LMAO @ Praise St. Angie!!

    And the Yoda comment was priceless too…

    I HATE these twats-make them go away!!!!!!!!!

  26. Anoneemouse says:

    I wonder how they’re going to put pasties on the shoes? lol

  27. Squirtle says:

    Looks like they are posing with a drag queen…nothing against drag queens but that one is yucky!

  28. la chica says:

    what’s a starlet?

  29. CB Rawks says:

    Don’t you have to have some kind of talent first, to be called a diva?
    Not imaginary Rockette experience, either.

  30. NIKKI says:

    Actually they wouldn’t be a fit for Payless. I love that chain. I find some unbelievably great, comfortable shoes there. And when people see me they’re like, “oh wow! where did you get those shoes?” You just have to be a saavy shopper and you can shop anywhere. I used to spend money on shoes and they hurt! and I never wore them more than once…I tend to wear out my Payless shoes. So, don’t knock the Payless.

  31. Bambi says:

    Do they have hollowed-out heels where you can stash your coke?

  32. Yae says:

    Lee I am sure she is related in some way to the Ronsons. Oh good gawd the vultures are swooping already. But as soon as you write it the “kin” will replace herself with an “advisor” and dissapear from view.

    Sigh, they are always “advisors”. Sad and transparent.

  33. TwinkleToes says:

    I hope Dina has a lot of success with this, done all on her own. She needs this win first and foremost, then she can focus on her kids from a higher level. Wish that whole family luck and may they all be together again. It’s time.

  34. Jazz says:

    Jesus, the whole family is riding on Lindsay’s drug addled coattails.

  35. den says:

    Who the eff’s the disaster on the left of the pictures in the see-through blouse? Beeyotch is gonna give me nightmares.

  36. skeptical says:

    ok the angry-looking person on the left looks to me the Estrella Archs, the actual Ungaro designer, who supposedly is quietly going nuts dealing with lohan but has to take it anyway because this was the easiest way for Archs to get her own face out there.

    As far as I know Estrella and the Ronsons are not related at all. The resemblance probably comes from the going-crazy look in Estrella’s eyes. Sam had the same look a few times towards the end of her failed relationship with Lindsay. It’s the You-make-me-want-to-pull-my-hair-out look.

  37. BW says:

    crash2GO2, exactly what I was thinking. I was actually hoping for a couple of pictures! You know, once in awhile, these new shoe designers kind of surprise you. But in this case, “Shoe-Hans” – just makes me feel a little depressed for some reason. Something about the name reminding me of “knock-offs”. Maybe it’s just me.

  38. shoefan says:

    This has GOT to be a joke. Shoe-han is such a tacky name.

  39. hi guys i cannot wait for the expendables the movie to come out! Its gonna be awesome!

  40. Ayakkabılar says:

    Actually, I love this “shoe-han” 😀

  41. Lias says:

    cool, good shoes and UGG Stiefel,Thanks for your share post.

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