Heather Mills Has Secret Tapes, Paul McCartney Has New Dating Policy

Heather Mills has been offered a lot of advice, not much of which she seems to be taking. I’m thinking about turning her journey of divorce into a book and titling it “How To F**k Up Your Divorce and Get Nothing, Just Like You Deserve You Crazy One-Legged Bitch”. Now, it may seem harsh to make a rude comment on someone’s disability, but she claims her husband did it…

“There are other recordings Heather says prove Paul referred to her as a ‘one-legged bitch,’” says a friend of Mills’. “She’s hoping this shows people what she’s had to put up with, and will let the public make up their own mind about who was to blame for their split.”

“Heather insists these tape recordings are crucial for her future. She’s been branded a liar so many times, and has a massive point to prove,” another source says.


She was making recordings of her life with Paul McCartney in anticipation of their divorce, which somehow I doubt were to store as memories but rather to use as leverage in their settlement. These might prove she’s not a liar, but it doesn’t seem to say anything good about her character.

According to reports in the New York Daily News, Paul McCartney will now only be dating women of means. Since McCartney is meant to be worth over a billion dollars, maybe the queen would be a woman of appropriate substance? Rumoured flame Nancy Shevell is independently wealthy, but perhaps a more sensible idea would be to have an iron-clad pre-nuptial agreement.

Note by Celebitchy: I think Heather Mills either started a new psychiatric drug or recently went off the meds she was on. She is seriously unhinged, and she may be well groomed but she’s not sane. It’s not even funny anymore.

Here she is in March campaigning for PETA to save the mother pigs and their piglets from farrowing crates, which are small metal enclosures that mother pigs are put in after they give birth. They are supposed to prevent the mother from crushing the piglets, which would not happen if the pigs were given adequate space, so they’re not needed in non-factory conditions and seem particularly cruel. In close conditions, though, they do prevent piglet death. I was going to make fun of her for this, but then I actually read about it and felt sorry for the pigs. If I keep doing research like this I’m going to end up a vegetarian, which isn’t a bad thing, as long as I don’t get all smug like Heather.

Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.

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