We’re coming to a close on Keen Birthday Buttons Week. The Duchess of Cambridge turns 40 years old on Sunday, and we can likely expect a new “portrait” of Kate on Saturday or Sunday. It will be interesting to see if she pulls a photo out of the archives or whether she actually sat for a new photoshoot. Like most of Kate’s solo PR campaigns, Keen Birthday Buttons Week blew up in her face. Kensington Palace clearly sent out bullet points and guidance for friendly journalists to blow smoke, only Kate has come across like a childish, infantilized, coddled, lazy and insipid Mean Girl. They really captured her essence! The Mail has another big piece about Kate today, and I think it was meant to be a photo essay interspersed with some light commentary from friendly royalists. The problem is that Phil Dampier messed it all up, hilariously:

Meanwhile royal author and commentator Phil Dampier said: It’s incredible to think Kate is reaching 40 – her wedding to William seems like yesterday to me!

‘But we must remember that they dated for eight years before marrying and she became known as Waity Katie. She has done everything at her own pace and William has supported her throughout. He made a vow to her parents when they got engaged that he would protect her and make sure that she never suffered like his mother did.

‘When Kate first became a royal she was incredibly nervous. I remember talking to her at a reception on a tour of Canada in 2012 and she just gabbled and didn’t make any sense at all. Ten years on she has become an accomplished public speaker and is full of confidence. She comes from a stable family background and I think that is key – her mother and family have always been there for her.

‘Being a mum of three children has given her a good insight into normal everyday life and she has made the happiness of children in their first five years a priority in her work, with very much a Freudian approach. She and William have played a blinder during the pandemic and haven’t put a foot wrong. They have sympathised and empathised with everyone suffering during the last two years and I would say they are now more popular that ever.

‘There is of course a tendency for people to compare them to Harry and Meghan, and it’s sad that the Sussexes are now so unpopular in this country, but they have brought it upon themselves.

‘Kate has focused on a small number of causes and done them well. But inevitably she will now be asked to do more. With her children growing up rapidly and going to school I’m sure she will find the time to increase her duties – and how the royals need her!

‘With Harry and Meghan off the scene and Andrew out in the cold, as well as Charles and Camilla and Anne in they seventies, the whole future rests with William and Kate. Fortunately they look up to the task and I’m sure her best is yet to come.’

[From The Daily Mail]

First of all, if you can’t talk about Kate’s keenery without disparaging Meghan in the same breath, all you’re doing is obsessing over Meghan as much as Kate does. Secondly, between the “Waity” name-check and the “she just gabbled and didn’t make any sense at all,” something tells me that Dampier didn’t get the full Kensington Palace memo, or he didn’t read it completely. So much for never putting a foot wrong, eh? Pretty soon they’ll have to admit that Kate bungled a lot of sh-t in her early days. And still, to this day. As for the Freudian reference… um, is that about the Diana cosplay?!?!

And finally, “With her children growing up rapidly and going to school I’m sure she will find the time to increase her duties…” How dare you! She couldn’t even be bothered to do an event between her piano recital and her birthday, why would she need to increase her duties??

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.