Bride’s reasonable wedding rules: no kids, no big announcements, don’t wear white

I saw this story on People Magazine expecting to see some crazy bridezilla-type requirements from this bride-to-be. You know the type: gifts must be over $300, cash preferred, make sure to deliver us food daily for a month leading up to the wedding, here are our dietary requirements. Instead all her rules seem like rather reasonable no-brainers, with a couple of exceptions, which I’ll get to in a minute. Jasmine Cruz posted a couple of videos to TikTok laying out guidelines for guests to her upcoming wedding. She did it in response to a trend for brides to do this, she didn’t come up with it on her own. One video received over two million views. Jasmine first specified that no children are allowed, but that it’s OK for out-of-town guests to bring their children if they supervise them. No one extra is invited beyond the plus one specified on the invitation. Guests must not wear white. I see nothing wrong with most of this actually. People interviewed Jasmine after her videos went viral. Here’s some of their coverage, but as a caveat I think they mischaracterized what she said about her bridesmaids. She didn’t say that the bridesmaids have to be LGBTQ+, just that they all happen to be.

Earlier this month, Jasmine Cruz took part in one of TikTok’s latest fads by posting a few of her “very real” guidelines for those attending her nuptials — and her video now has nearly 2 million views.

“I saw the trend going around when I started wedding planning. Since I already had some stuff laid out I decided to add to it and make the TikTok,” Cruz told PEOPLE. “I’m one of those girls who has thought of her wedding day since I was a kid. So I have a picture of what I want the day to be. I wrote down all these different ideas and it eventually became the rules that I posted.”

Using the green-screen effect to post a screenshot of her policies written in the Notes app, Cruz explained that she’s currently engaged and plans to enforce the following directives at her wedding ceremony later this year.

“No kids (some exceptions),” read her first rule.

“Let’s start there because everybody gets mad about this one. No kids,” she said in the video, adding, “I don’t want kids running around unattended, their parents not watching. That will absolutely not be happening…”

“They gotta be watching them though,” she noted.

Cruz told PEOPLE that one family member did “question” the no kids rule “until they saw the bills start adding up. Now we’re all on board … ”

No white attire is allowed at her wedding, Cruz shared before issuing a warning: “My bridesmaids have specific instructions already to dump a whole bottle of red wine on you, so let’s just avoid that.”

She also said that her bridesmaids are allowed to select their own outfits, but she has already chosen the color they’ll wear…

Speaking on the reaction she’s received from her video, Cruz told PEOPLE,” I did not expect it to go viral at all. I post videos for fun on TikTok and sometimes they get a couple of thousand views and then the next day nothing.”

She added that she was “shocked” to see how quickly her video went viral, adding that she “didn’t expect to have so many people upset at what I thought was common sense (not wearing white, limiting plus ones, etc.).”

In a second video, Cruz continued to share her next rules that all of her bridesmaids are a part of the LGBTQ community and that her mother has “full creative liberty over everything.”

“I don’t want everybody bothering me with ‘Where do you want this? Where do you want that?’ Ask my mom,” she said.

[From People]

Jasmine is also grossed out by the garter tradition and will not be doing it, which is completely understandable. (She has a video explaining what that is for people who don’t know.) And she added that the staff can eat and drink within reason. Most of these sound fine to me. The only thing I don’t agree with is that she seems to be saying all her guests need to get wasted. It’s more of an imperative than encouragement. She said “We’re paying so much money for an open bar… I want you drunk, I want you wasted.” She does say that they shouldn’t drive drunk and can leave their cars at the venue overnight.

I went to Jasmine’s TikTok, her username is @cruzjasmine824, and she has an FAQ answering some of the questions about her wedding requirements. I misunderstood her plus one requirements. I thought she just meant no extra people beyond the invited number, but she meant no plus ones they don’t know. She said “people are getting plus ones if their plus one is somebody important to us. We’re averaging $100 a head, you wouldn’t go buy some random person a $100 meal.” That’s a little weird, but it’s not unreasonable. She also added “my bridesmaids don’t have to be gay,” which was clear to me! People magazine didn’t interpret that correctly.

My only question is – where are the covid protocols? The wedding is in seven months from now, so maybe she’s thinking they won’t need them at that point. She could have vaccination requirements at least. It seems like she’s completely ignoring the pandemic.

@cruzjasmine824 These are my very real wedding rules I’ll be doing at my wedding this year ! #greenscreen #wedding #elfitup #latinabride #latinowedding ♬ original sound – cruzjasmine824

@cruzjasmine824 My wedding part 2 #greenscreen #wedding #latinabride #elfitup ♬ original sound – cruzjasmine824

Her ring is pretty! It’s synthetic opal and stones but you can’t really tell.

@cruzjasmine824 Reply to @edgarmunguia5 thank you for asking ! I love showing it off all the time 🥰 #wedding #weddingtiktok #latinabride #latinowedding ♬ this is what falling in love feels like – JVKE

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162 Responses to “Bride’s reasonable wedding rules: no kids, no big announcements, don’t wear white”

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  1. Murphy says:

    I’m going to a wedding in two weeks where there are no kids allowed–but it’s a destination wedding and I had to bring my daughter! So she stays at the hotel with my husband, what else can I do?
    She also said don’t wear blue. But I’m wearing blue anyway because eff that, my husband and daughter aren’t allowed to come.

    • Noki says:

      Errm if she kindly asked you not to wear blue then why aggrivate someone on their special day!?

    • Elo says:

      Why are you even going if you don’t care enough to abide by the simple rule of not wearing blue? Why is it important that your daughter attend?

    • tw says:

      You said off that to your friend’s wedding request? Yikes.

    • Mich says:

      Wow. Don’t wear color x is the least offensive rule I can think of. Why not just bow out of the event?

    • Twin Falls says:

      For starters, you could not go? Why voluntarily go to then complain about how it’s such an inconvenience to you? That’s like hate attending.

      • Normades says:

        Why can’t you just leave the child and husband at home? If child has special requirements like still breastfeeding, then just don’t go.
        So you’re resentful and will wear blue out of spite???? Like Twin falls said it’s like your hate attending.

      • Yup, Me says:

        For real.

        Girl, you got “hate attending destination weddings” money? Let me send you my cashapp so you can spread some of your expensive ass resentment my way!

      • Jan90067 says:

        Let me preface this by saying I love kids. I taught small kids for 30 yrs. So I say this coming from this place: *WHY* do people think *their* little “darlings” have to go everywhere, to every event, with them? There *are* some things that should be adults only (like a formal reception). Most people at a reception drink and dance and will *not* keep a close eye on their kids. Small kids are usually up way beyond their bed times and are cranky, tired and hopped up by that point; most would be much happier at home with Grandma or a sitter in the hotel.

        It sounds very passive-aggressive to say, “Oh, I’ll come, and I’ll show you!” Just stay home. You won’t have a good time anyway. Take the money the airfare/hotel will cost and go somewhere with your husband and child.

    • Sonia says:

      You sound like a weird, annoying person. If you like this person enough to go to a destination wedding for them, why are you so hostile? Weird. Just stay home.

      • Col says:

        I don’t think they are annoying – I think they have a right to be annoyed. Life is too short for color politics/ color policing. That is annoying, petty and dumb, IMO. As far as kids go, if you have to fly to another country, what is she suppossed to do, leave her kid with some person she’s never meet before if she can manage to arrange that? A host should be more flexible about the kids “rule” if they are having a destination wedding where they are putting guests in a bind and already requiring guests to spend thousands on flights, hotels and using a good chunk of vacation time away from work. Very classlessand thoughtless.

      • death by bacon says:

        You know what I remember the most from a child free wedding? A family brought a 6 year old girl who had a crush on the groom and she spent the reception with her head down on the table heartbroken once she realized what the wedding meant.

    • Gobo says:

      None of those wedding requests were unreasonable. Either follow them or don’t go. What’s your problem?

    • ANON says:

      I get that requests like “don’t wear blue” are annoying. I guess for me, it’s a litmus test. If it’s someone I care about, of course I won’t mind. If it’s someone I’m not really close to…mayyybe I didn’t want to go to their wedding anyway!

    • LaUnicaAngelina says:

      Bad take and you shouldn’t go. Weddings should be fun and joyous. You seem angry and resentful. You can opt out.

    • Lauren says:

      Seriously, don’t go if you’re going to be rude about the color. You are not obligated to go to a destination wedding if it’s going to be a problem for you. My cousin had a destination wedding a few years ago with similar rules about kids, so I didn’t go because I have two. No biggy.

    • Michelle Connolly says:

      You sound like a terrible friend and bitter person. It’s likely because the bridesmaids are in blue and she doesn’t want you to look like a fool. Just don’t go, it doesn’t sound like you want to.

      • Villanelle says:

        Murphy seems to be behaving like a toddler about not getting to wear blue. Since children aren’t allowed, I suggest they not break TWO rules by attending.

    • ElleV says:

      she has every right to host an adults-only party and you have every right to stay home if that’s a dealbreaker for you – why make it into a passive-aggressive protest? are you one of those people that wear white to weddings?

    • Becks1 says:

      An invitation is not a summons. If you can’t make it for whatever reason, including childcare, then that’s fine and just say no. Don’t be petty about it.

    • C says:

      Why don’t you just decline the invitation instead of being a troll? You’re a terrible guest!

    • superashes4 says:

      All of the above and there is probably a valid reason why she said no blue. Soooo I guess you go do you and be rude about a simple request and end up probably looking like an idiot if it is that important to you?

    • aang says:

      Who tells people what color to wear? I mean I can see no white I guess but beyond that? Wear what you want. I’m tired of weddings.

      • osito says:

        People have all sorts of reasons for doing it — Maybe there’s an ancient evil that lives on the grounds of the venue, and it is summoned by revelry in blue. Maybe the bride can’t see the color blue and would rather not view her guests as a torso-less set of heads and appendages. Maybe it’s the bride’s litmus test for those she won’t go the extra mile for in the thank you cards. Maybe there is a cultural/religious reason why: blue could literally be funereal or an ill omen.

        For whatever the reason, it just seems like an unnecessary hill to die on. Don’t go to the wedding, wear whatever color you want that day, pay for a better dinner than you would have likely gotten from the caterer. Want to hang out with your whole family? Declare that the next big gathering is at your house. If you feel petty/exhausted/annoyed by someone wanting to curate the hell out of an experience they are going to hopefully cherish for the rest of their lives, don’t spend the time and effort worrying about it and opt out.

      • superashes4 says:

        In all likelihood, probably because the hotel staff wears blue or because there is some issue with having blue that is associated with pictures, or because the wedding party is all wearing blue or because her dress is blue. No blue seems like such a minor ask.

      • Lionel says:

        I went to a wedding where a guest who was a friend of the groom accidentally wore the bridesmaids’ dress. (It wasn’t EXACTLY the same dress, but it was a color match and close enough in style.) People assumed she was a bridesmaid, she had to say “no, oops, coincidence!” all night, and she felt TERRIBLE. I don’t think the bride cared, I don’t think anyone cared for that matter, but it ruined that guest’s experience because she was worried that people might care. As if she were making a statement about her friendship with the groom or something like that, which she’d never intentionally do. So it might be just as simple, and well-meaning, as the bride wanting to avoid that kind of “embarrassment” for her guests. Or maybe just wanting her bridesmaids to stand out in the crowd, which is her prerogative.

      • Col says:

        It is unreasonable for a destination wedding to not allow kids. It puts guests in a tough place when they are already spending thousands and going to great effort to attend your event. They married couple could arrange an activity/person to look after the kids if they don’t want them at the ceremony and generally be more accommodating. Also, people don’t need to be told to not wear white and making a video about it is condescending as fuck and dumb. Have some fucking class.

      • Col says:

        Agree aang, very annoying. Also there’s a million shades of blue – it probably won’t be the same shade as the bridesmaids and why people are concerned about this kind of thing I don’t understand.

      • LJ says:

        Telling people what color to wear – esp when they aren’t even in the wedding party – is over the top.

      • Gibby says:

        I actually like the fact of telling people the color not to wear. As someone else posted so you are not wearing the same color as bridesmaids or staff. I went to a wedding and wore a yellow dress as a guest AND that was what all the bridesmaids were wearing and they got to chose the style. I had to do the whole night explaining I was not one and felt odd. The bride did not get upset or anything, but I felt awkward the whole time and I was a date of a friend of the groom. I would have loved that heads up. So if I ever get married I will add either these are the bridal/groom colors or add please do not wear that color.

      • Ohlala says:

        Maybe the bride will wear blue?

        Why is that so difficult to follow request?

    • Cinnamon says:

      Yikes. Maybe just bow out now. Let them know asap before they give a final head count and get refunds or travel credits on flights and hotels. You’re going to be sour the entire time you’re at the wedding and why would you do that to yourself and the bride and groom? Send your regrets and let them enjoy their day.

    • It’sJust Blanche says:

      I work in the travel business and it never fails that there is at least one person who is not happy about having to go to a destination wedding so they pull passive aggressive stuff like this. Please go and have fun and don’t wear blue. Don’t be the pissy guest. Then go have a blast with your daughter afterwards.

    • Maddy says:

      Uh hire a babysitter like a normal person

      Most people use hotel babysitters

      • Sophie says:

        Hotel babysitter? Is that a thing?
        I think they idea of leaving your kid with someone you don’t know (like a random hotel employee) is insane.

    • SarahLee says:

      WTH? She’s your friend – made a simple request that you NOT wear blue – and you say F that? Sheesh. Stay home.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      @ Murphy, I think you should put yourself in the position of the bride regarding no blue attire. What I’d this was YOUR wedding and you asked your guests a simple request as this bride is asking? How would YOU feel if one of your friends, relative or someone very dear to you did this on the day of your wedding?

      Put yourself in the brides position and ask yourself how disrespected you would feel. You certainly would be hurt and/or angry.

    • Delphine says:

      If you wear blue you’re an asshole full stop.

    • Alexandria says:

      Please don’t go. You’ll be happier with your child and this wedding is not a big deal to you obviously. The wedding party will be happier too. Simple.

    • Mimi says:

      Wtf just don’t go then Murphy! Ridiculous

    • lucy2 says:

      Wow, really? You don’t HAVE to go, you know.
      I get that some brides go crazy with the demands, but no kids is VERY common, and so it’s up to the parent(s) if they want to attend or not. The forbidden color thing never made much sense to me, but it’s a simple request to follow.

    • Juniper says:

      Jeez, if it’s that important to you to wear blue, why don’t you just text the Bride and ask why she made that request? Is that so damn hard? As for the kid, some people want their weddings to be adult parties and not family affairs. It’s their choice. If you’re that salty about it, save yourself the money and the grief and don’t go. Send a gift instead. You’ll be happier with your family and you won’t be remembered as the asshole who wore blue to the wedding and complained all night.

      • Christine says:

        Cosign. Don’t be the bitter person who chooses a outfit based on the fact it will piss off the bride. It’s a rotten look.

    • MelOn says:

      Really? You’re going out of the way to show the bride your behind because she said no kids?? Wow. You know why people say no kids, because people bring their kids, let them run wild, or scream and cry and do nothing to calm them disrupting everyone else’s good time. I have kids why would I bring them to a wedding to be bored and the only wedding I went to as a kid was because I was a flower girl. My parents left us at home and we had more fun at home. Do everyone a favor and stay home with your husband and your kid and don’t show yourself up and out at someone else’s wedding.

      • MelOn says:

        PS- You do realize that you’re charged for a full adult meal for kids in attendance, even if they don’t eat the food and they spend the entire time in your lap. Right? So a bunch of kids are not in the budget.

    • @poppedbubble says:

      Don’t like the requests? Don’t effin’ go. Simple. Oh. And please, please, PLEASE tell the bride why you’re not going…because you want to wear blue. In reddit parlance, YTAH. SMDH

    • Adrian says:

      When my sister got married she specifically asked for no kids. Other guests didn’t comply and brought their children with their NANNIES. It made her cry. Not only did it cost the couple a few thousand dollars, the kids were all over one was almost bitten by a dog brought by another guest. Good thing their event planner was very good

    • why says:

      what else can I do?

      you can just… not go?

    • Konk says:

      Weddings. Are. Stupid. Seriously. If rules have to be stated on a social media post, then how CLOSE of friends ARE these “guests”? I don’t have any friends who WOULD wear white or NOT watch their kids. Puh. Leeeze. make it stop

    • Renee Brown says:

      WOW that is all I can say
      You don’t have parents, siblings, friends, cousins the godparents that could watch your child for a couple of days? The ONLY dress you could find, afford and fit was blue? You have nothing else you could wear or buy. This had to be on the top of the10 passive aggressive list. Please do not attend. you are not a friend of the bride.

  2. equality says:

    Personally, I would rather invite the children in the family to a party than some of the adults. If the guests are going to be drinking and partying, it isn’t a good place to bring children anyway.

    • Christine says:

      This is where I am too. When I got married, I provided babysitting, both at the church and the hotel where the reception was being held, so the parents could decide if they would rather not be in charge of childcare for the night, as there was big drinking going on.

      It was the 90s, so my recollection is fuzzy, but I *think* all of the parents attending with kids used the babysitting option at the reception.

  3. Bettyrose says:

    None of these are unreasonable and I don’t understand why this is even a story, but if a guest does get a bottle of red dumped on their white outfit I hope we get video.

    • Eurydice says:

      I don’t understand why she has to tell her rules to people she isn’t going to invite. But I totally agree about the garters. Iliza Shlesinger has a very funny bit about the garter ceremony in her stand-up “Unveiled.”

      • Bettyrose says:

        I was so humiliated by a garter ceremony in my early twenties. I barely knew anyone at this wedding other than the couple and some varied great aunts. And had no idea what I was setting myself up for catching the bouquet. Had to sit in front of a hundred guests while a guy I didn’t know (but who was potentially a distant cousin given the context) slid a garter up my leg. And somewhere that lives on video for all eternity. 😬

      • Christine says:

        Bettyrose, I’m so sorry, but I cannot stop laughing!! Thank you for that.

  4. Becks1 says:

    I think her “plus one” policy makes sense because that was basically my plus-one policy lol. Our rule was no “plus one” on an invitation – I would invite your significant other if I knew them and could invite them by name. So, I’d invite Harry and Meghan, not Harry plus one, if that makes sense. But I can’t think of anyone who came to our wedding who didn’t know anyone else or wasn’t part of a big group of friends.

    I also said no children but no one that was invited had children anyway (got married at 25) besides my husband’s aunt whose children were in the wedding, so they came. so my “no children rule” wasn’t really an issue. If any invited guests had small children we would have evaluated that “rule”. It was basically a rule with no impact lol.

    Anyway, all that to say that her rules sound reasonable to me and like she’s flexible with them if there is some explanation etc. But maybe my rules were unreasonable lol.


    • sq says:

      We had no kids, except for family kids (who we are close to). Friends who had kids left them with friends or parents and were glad to have the time away! It’s nice to be able to hang out with your friends and not have them stressed about their kids the whole time.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        Though her exceptions regarding out of town guests will become an issue. Some will see that she is making exceptions for them but not all guests. She may have put herself in a corner with that one.

      • Sophie says:

        Or they acted as though they were glad for the time away, to be polite to you.

    • Lionel says:

      Same! We invited SOs that we knew, and we sort of made it clear to everyone else that if there was someone in their life we weren’t aware of but they thought was the “one” to let us know discreetly, early enough, and we’d rearrange. We told everyone else not to worry because there would be an awesome singles table, which there was!

      And we didn’t invite kids to the ceremony or reception, but we arranged for a babysitter during the event for out-of-towners who couldn’t travel without them. It was more important to us that our friends came and we were willing to accommodate their reasonable needs to make it so. There *were* a couple of people who were bitchy, who were like “how dare you not invite my child and expect me to leave the precious one with an unknown babysitter” but, I mean, good friends won’t do that to you, and if they do maybe it’s time to re-evaluate that friendship. You can’t let other people’s issues bother you on your wedding day.

    • Adrian says:

      Why would you want to bring along someone who would not want to be there? Most plus ones would not enjoy being in a party where he or she is not specifically invited. Unless s/he’s a sales agent and see other guests as potential clients. Or if Dolly Parton or Cher were invited as performers.

    • Lou says:

      Same. I couldn’t afford a big wedding, so that’s one of the ways we kept it small.

      Her rules are fine, people don’t have to go!

  5. LaraK says:

    Her “rules” seem totally fine, mostly basic common courtesy.
    Sometimes I swear people are looking for a reason to get upset. There are plenty of reasons, just open a damn newspaper, and leave this woman alone.

    • Noki says:

      They are absolutely fine! Completely reasonable and actually kind and accomodating.

    • Lynly says:

      If she wanted to be left alone, she would not have posted her wedding rules to TikTok. That’s what makes her the idiot in my book.

      • Jules says:

        Totally this. Tacky and attention seeking.
        And let’s not with the victimy leave her alone, when people choose to air everything out in public, online.

      • Juniper says:

        I’m wondering if she did it that way so it could be easily accessible to her guests and wasn’t expecting it to blow up. It’s so random what blows up on TT.

  6. girl_ninja says:

    I think her “demands” are quite reasonable. I just wouldn’t have a wedding celebration during these pandemic times.

    • BothSidesNow says:

      Neither would I. If she and her husband want to get married as soon as possible, do what my daughters best friend did. They had a lovely wedding in Austin during a relatively warm period and limited the guests list to no more than 20 people, included the families and the bridal party. It was outside and everyone wore a mask. Plus they live streamed the event for those of us who couldn’t attend due to the pandemic.

      • lucy2 says:

        Exactly – I know several couples who did just that – got married in park or in their backyard, etc, and will do a “reception” at some point when it’s safe.
        I did go to a fairly big wedding last summer, things were much improved here, but just a few weeks later the Delta variant started.

  7. Elo says:

    I don’t see anything unreasonable about these rules. Weddings invites are a privilege and an honor. The day is about the people getting married not the guests.

    • Yup, Me says:

      In theory, yes, the day is about the couple getting married, but the reception os actually a thank you to the guests for attending, so it’s also about them. When couples want a day that is only entirely about them, they generally elope.

  8. LightPurple says:

    My parents had a “No kids” rule for their very elegant wedding reception. Kids were allowed for the ceremony; there were actually kids IN the ceremony but my mom made arrangements that her two nieces, ages 6 and 7, and nephew, age 4, who were in the ceremony would leave with their older cousins on the other side of their family after they posed for pictures on the steps of the church. They all have great memories about how excited they were to be part of it, getting all dressed up and marching down the aisle in the first wedding they ever attended and then how they spent the night camping with their other family in the woods somewhere. My dad’s two sisters ignored the rule completely and brought five kids under the age of four, two of them babies, and one a developmentally disabled toddler, to the ceremony and the reception, despite offers of family friends to babysit them. Only the oldest boy has any recollection of it and his memories consist of the babies crying throughout and the two toddlers being chased around on the dance floor.

    • ANON says:

      I love how your parents handled this! It can be fun to include kids if they’re old enough. That plus camping sounds like a great memory.

      Boo/hissing the disrespectful guests, of course.

    • Concern Fae says:

      I had a friend who did something similar. All kids under X age got to be flower children. They all walked down the aisle and then sat with their parents. They came to the reception early and there was a kids buffet and cup cakes. The bride and groom danced with them and then they left. The grooms family had a huge clump of cousins around the same age, so their grandmother took over the organizing of the kids function. It kind of ran parallel to the main wedding.

    • Lionel says:

      Now I’m laughing because I didn’t have kids at my wedding, but I remember being very little (like 5) when my two uncles got married during the same year. The first uncle allowed kids at the wedding, and my little brother and I had a blast (he must have been two, yikes! There are pictures of us digging into the wedding cake.) The second uncle did not allow kids a few months later, and we kids thought it was an ABSOLUTE TRAVESTY. My parents have an entirely different opinion. (laughing emoji here!!)

    • Sophie says:

      I don’t like the implication that children with disabilities are *especially* unwelcome at these events. That’s shitty.

  9. Oh_Hey says:

    I don’t get what’s controversial about this. All of these are basic wedding etiquette and have been for a really long time. The only maybe new thing is no kids, which as someone in my 30s, I’d say has been a normal thing to ask for about 5-10 years.

    Am I missing something here or are people just really entitled about other folks’ weddings?

    • Gold+ladder says:

      I think it’s because she has to actually spell it out for people. You wouldn’t believe the behavior of some guests. My stepbrother’s wife invited her daughter and granddaughter to my cousin’s wedding even though she was the plus one and even though children weren’t allowed at the wedding. Fortunately, cousin and wife were good sports about it but my mom and aunt were livid

    • Jezzebeelzebub says:

      “Am I missing something here or are people just really entitled about other folks’ weddings?”

      Nope, I think you nailed it. And I’ll go even further and say that way too many people are really entitled about too many things that they are not, in fact, entitled to at all. And (forgive me as I ascend my soapbox) I think the reason for this is because conflict of any kind has become wildly unpopular. Too many times have the phrases “be the bigger person” and “take the high road” been used as an excuse to roll the actual fuck over when another person has violated some basic rule of How To Act When You Live In A Civilization (or “manners”, for short). It hasn’t taken much time to reap a goddamn bumper crop of entitled assholes who are so used to running roughshod and unchecked over any and everyone that now they’re basically a plague of biblical proportion. I’d rather have frogs raining from the sky , getting on my stuff, piling up and having to personally shovel their smelly dead asses into a giant lime pit I had to dig in my yard myself than this plague of Karens and whatever guy-Karens are called.

      In conclusion, I urge all my fellow decent humans to meet assholery with Gandhi-like passive resistance whenever possible, and when it’s not to meet it with relentlessly reasonable equal force. There are more of us than there are of them, as evidenced here by the mass-disapproval of the asshole who plans to wear blue to a wedding she does not have to attend simply to spite the person who invited her! We all came together to say THATS SHITTY AND YOURE SHITTY, and we are right! No- WE ARE RIGHTEOUS. Bring this shit from the internet into the streets! We must stick together and say ENOUGH.

  10. Case says:

    These all sound reasonable. I completely agree re: a lack of Covid protocols, but at this stage in the pandemic I’ve seen very little of that, unfortunately.

    • Kitten says:

      Um yeah it’s fucking insane that people are planning weddings right now, sorry not sorry. This is why my fiancé and I have been engaged for over a year. It just feels really irresponsible to us to plan a huge get-together when there’s a deadly virus still raging out there.

  11. Ellie says:

    Good for her. We also had a no kids wedding – NO kids, full stop. It was held in a venue that also sold antiques and had an urban hiking trail outside, opening us up to many liabilities in addition to the fact that people were going to be drinking all night. Our wedding invites literally said OPEN BAR (and wedding). People still argued. We offered babysitting services offsite and said we understood if people couldn’t make it. Still, someone brought a baby and he started crying immediately. Our coordinator asked them to step out for the entire ceremony, and everything after that went on as planned. If there’s one evening that should be your rules, it’s your wedding, and I don’t see anything crazy here.

    • Rosalee says:

      My daughter had a no kids rule at her wedding and my sister’s best friend thought her children were excluded from the rule. I had a 35 year old woman screaming she was “family” so her two kids should be included at their “cousin’s wedding” I informed her she was not my sister. She eventually involved my sister who told me if the children were not invited she and her family were not coming. It’s been 20 years since they last spoke to me..frankly I don’t miss them.

    • superashes says:

      I really don’t get why people are so entitled about other people’s weddings. We had a no kids rule, mainly because almost all of my husband’s close friends had 2 – 3 kids a piece and we couldn’t afford to pay for everyone’s kids to eat and because it was at a historic house and couldn’t risk damage to the venue. It also was an evening wedding and it made no sense to have kids there. Ultimately, all of my husband’s friends came and no one complained and they all were glad to have a night off.

      I only had three two a-holes. Two of his family members showed up, one with his son and another with a plus one that we didn’t account for on our list, but at least referenced him on the invite. The uninvited plus one had a seat and a plate and the teenager didn’t. The third was his aunt who showed up in a white short length dress, and our photographer promptly elected not to take a single picture of her even though her and my husband were very close. Pretty funny overall.

    • Col says:

      Not sure why having an open bar automatically means no kids. I attended weddings as a youngster, had a great time and behaved myself. I’m sure adults were drinking but it had nothing to do with any of the kids there.

  12. gigi says:

    eh im more worried she doesnt have a covid rule or vaccine mandate for a big wedding

  13. Dee says:

    I’ve seen kids chasing each other around the cake table while the cake teeters and seen kids run across the dance floor during special dances and plow into people. If you’re okay with the hijinks, that’s fine. However, formal evening weddings are boring places for kids. I’m okay with the bride and groom saying no kids.

  14. Michael says:

    The older I get the more I dislike the idea of marriage and all the expensive traditions that go with it

    • Swack says:

      Me too!

    • smcollins says:

      Marriage is one thing, a WEDDING is an institution in and of itself. I think the bridezilla type of women are only about the wedding, having that grand “Special Day” that’s all about them (and by “them” I mean the bride). It’s basically become an excuse to act like an entitled asshole.

    • sq says:

      We had a wedding but definitely fought against the wedding industrial complex that has built up around it. It was a nice small-ish wedding at a brewery (that actually rented out the place at an amazingly affordable rate). It is kind of silly though. Who cares at the end of the day. I think it’s more romantic to go to a courthouse with just the two of you.

      • Winechampion says:

        I agree with you! I’ve been saying forever that I think just the couple is much more romantic. You’re only doing it for yourselves.

        I’ve truly never understood having a wedding. I’d be way too embarrassed standing up there being emotional and sappy in front of everyone I know. Gah!

    • TigerMcQueen says:

      I really do not like the wedding industrial complex, lol.

      I had a court house wedding with just a few witnesses. Invited immediately family, including kids, and a handful of close friends to a ‘reception’ that night at an upscale restaurant where we had the patio to ourselves overlooking the water, a four course menu plus wedding cake, unlimited wine/beer. I wore a suit for the wedding and wedding-ish looking cocktail dress to dinner (that I found on a clearance rack for $30), and saved thousands upon thousands of dollars even with the enormous dinner bill. I’d totally do it that way again. I just don’t see the need for all the other stuff, personally, and I know for a fact I enjoyed my day (and remember it) more than my friends who had more traditional (expensive) weddings.

  15. Mich says:

    Jasmine’s rules seem extremely normal. There is a woman on YouTube who does videos about ‘bridezillas’ and that shi*t is wild. One bride made headlines in 2020 because she wanted to kick a bridesmaid who had cancer out of her wedding because hair loss due to chemo would ruin her ‘aesthetic’.

  16. jj says:

    no i’ll be the other side. this is gross. it’s not about what the “rules” are. it’s about making a big stinking public thing about having rules and people obeying you and my special day blah blah blah blah. if people need a public announcement for your guests to watch their kids, they aren’t the type to listen to your “rules” anyway. and everything else is just her ego. there are ways to go about this that aren’t bridezilla like. i HATE that these screeds are now a thing. i’m a no for any wedding with any list of rules.

    • ANON says:

      I’m with you. Her requests aren’t unreasonable, but I don’t think this whole “making decrees to my guests from on high” is a great trend.

      The way we’re socialized around weddings is REALLY weird and harmful. I think those inflated stakes/entitlement can sometimes make folks lose touch with their manners.

      If you’re inviting loved ones to join in your celebration, you’re also a *host.* It’s not about using your guests to feel like boss for a day.

    • Millenial says:

      I totally hear you, I think some of these brides sound like miserable people. One of my huband’s cousins wore a white dress to my wedding and like, “who cares?” I sure didn’t. Laugh and move on. Getting upset about not being able to control other people is no way to live your life.

      As far as the no kids rules, sure, if having a fancy wedding is important to you, you do you. My husbands family is one of those big Catholic families with dozens of cousins and kids, and thankfully we love kids and were quite happy to have a family-friendly affair.

    • SJP-NYC says:

      I think especially with a younger generation who live on social media and tik tok and are reality tv junkies that this is how they function in society and it gives them the platform they crave. You don’t like it, but instead of shrugging it off we comment. Isn’t is shades of the same systemic issue that people feel empowered to express their opinions whether or not necessary?

    • Tiffany:) says:

      “i’m a no for any wedding with any list of rules.”

      That’s unreasonable. Unless you’re talking about your own wedding, of course.

      • Sarah says:

        Why is that unreasonable? As noted elsewhere, an invitation is not a summons. No one is obligated to attend any wedding. If a wedding with rules is something this poster knows they’d be turned off by, what on earth is unreasonable about sending regrets with well wishes?

      • Tiffany:) says:

        It is a big event in a person’s life, and to expect that the people getting married will be at the mercy of whatever the guests demand is unreasonable. The invitees are the guests, not the people getting married. Some “rules” are indeed outrageous, but some rules are completely reasonable. So drawing the line at “any” rules is absurd and diva-ish behavior. What’s the name equivalent for a “Bridezilla”, but for guests? Guestzilla?

        No one is obligated to go to a wedding, which is why I didn’t write anything remotely close to that.

    • lucy2 says:

      I get that – while I think her rules are reasonable, to the point of why on earth did something this mundane go viral, making a public video about it is a bit much. I would simply include a note with the invitation “Adults only, please don’t wear white.” Done.

    • Anna says:

      Yes… this may not be unreasonable but when there is a party and I hear “rules” I opt out. I had a wedding, or was lovely, I put a lot of energy to organize it, I decided about food, music but I treated my guest well… like GUESTS. When somebody is invited to my home I’m not demanding what they wear. Maybe I’m just not that person but obsessing about weddings is childish for me, just invite people that you really want to, let them know that maybe you have a wish or two, or suggestion but don’t give invitations with a set of rules, it’s just rude.

      And yes, I don’t think wedding are for kids, I only took mine a couple of times when she was very little and I was breastfeeding but it was also important to me to attend those weddings even for 3h. But again, I never told anyone they can’t bring a child.

      Just enjoy your wedding, enjoy the people you invite and if sth really bothers you then tell the person – but be reasonable.

    • Col says:

      Well said and agree 100%. A screed of rules is so rude and off putting.

  17. Sofia says:

    I think these rules are all reasonable (this isn’t targeted at you CB but at the people who thought they were, which doesn’t seem like anyone here!). A lot of people have “no kids” weddings and she is making exceptions for out of town guests who may not want to arrange childcare for that long (or for those who can’t afford it). No white is accepted as a standard rule to begin with and no plus ones makes sense because I imagine you would want to celebrate your wedding with people you know. Because plus one means your guest could theoretically bring their Tinder hookup from the night before and you’d basically have a random stranger on your wedding day – which is not appealing.

  18. SusieQ says:

    I’m getting married in May, and we’re inviting 28 people. We have a no kids rule since our venue is an elegant, quiet hotel. It’s just not a place for little kids.

  19. Lizzie Bathory says:

    I understand the plus one “policy,” but if you can, I think it’s really nice to give everyone a plus one. We did & a friend of ours used his plus one to ask out the barista he’d had a crush on for months. Their first date was attending our (out of state!) wedding together. They fell in love & we attended their wedding a few years later. They’re still happily married.

    And a dear friend wore a white dress to our wedding. I didn’t even notice until someone mentioned it, but I knew it was probably one of the few dresses she had at the time & I was just happy to see her there.

    • Anna says:

      My maid of honor wore black. She styled it nicely but she was a bit overweight at that time and I knew this was the only dress she found and felt good about herself in. She asked me if that would bother me – it didn’t but demanding that someone wears sth they feel bad in would bother me.
      And one of my friends wore her short off white dress – I knew she just spend a lot of money on her own wedding by and as long as she didn’t style it with a weil I barely noticed. Also – I have an elegant navy dress that I wear for weddings; I would be quite pissed if someone demanded I buy another one because they don’t like the color. If that was a suggestion, or sth with explanation (bride allergic to navy color..?) I would be less pissed but just for the sake of it – no, thanks. Weddings are expensive. You pay a lot for a gift, travel, often hotel, in my country you get close to half the average monthly salary quickly – if there are additional rules and request I’ll probably say thanks, but no, thanks.

    • Lex says:

      Plus ones are not part of my culture at all. I could not imagine having strangers at my wedding. Big no

  20. Sharra G says:

    I never thought I would have to have the rule of “don’t announce your engagement DURING our wedding, please.” But I should have. One couple brought AN EXTRA COUPLE then announced their engagement and wedding date (which they decided on during our vows!) The extra couple then made out like teenagers in the corner of the venue all night. My husband and I were so furious!

  21. Janey says:

    My SIL wore an ivory strapless dress to my wedding (also destination). My dress was also strapless ivory (mine was poofy, hers was a shift style) but I wish I had thought to chuck red wine over her “accidentally”.

    • superashes says:

      That is such a dick move. But honestly, she only makes herself look like an asshole by doing that. My husband’s aunt showed up at my wedding in a shorter white dress. I didn’t really care, was just a little embarrassed for her, and that feeling was validated after hearing other people talk about her doing that. Our wedding album and all of the pictures our photographer sent don’t have her in them (I think he was protesting, lol), and the only other people close to white were my mother and his stepmother who wore cream shades, which is totally fine.

    • whatWHAT? says:

      yeah, I will never understand the mentality of wearing white to a wedding in order to “upstage” (or anger, or upset) the bride. it never winds up upstaging the bride, all it does (as noted) is make the not-bride look petty and awful.

  22. Celina says:

    As the parent of 9 kids, I completely understand the no-kid rule. And she’s being cool by allowing exceptions for people who may not be able to get a sitter because they are coming from out of town.

    The rest sounds fine to me. I’m not a drinker (weird, I know because I have 9) so I kinda take that as a “get smashed if you want to, I encourage it responsibly”.

  23. Sam the Pink says:

    Not trying to be mean, but I figured she was some type of way when she starts with mentioning that she has dreamed of her wedding since she was little. It felt like “Oh, she’s one of those.” Am I odd in that I never, ever dreamed of weddings as a child? Like, I used to think of having adventures, all the money I’d make, etc. I never imagined a wedding as a child.

    • BeanieBean says:

      If you’re odd, then so am I! I never dreamed about having a wedding either, just travel & adventure–and it’s worked out pretty well so far!

    • Christine says:

      I know a handful of women who “dreamed” about their wedding and they all ended in divorce.

    • Deering says:

      Honestly, I’ve learned to not trust women who’ve always dreamed about their wedding. They usually have “I am a princess” syndrome in spades; are self-centered down deep—and when push comes to shove, make lousy, unsupportive friends. If one’s life is that consumed with a ceremony that is only an hour of your life, tops, that shows a real lack of a life.

  24. A says:

    “We’re averaging $100 a head, you wouldn’t go buy some random person a $100 meal.”

    Stuff like this is what makes me really glad I’m Indian. While I’m not really super into the whole idea of a “big Indian wedding” or anything like that, and while I’m not saying that trends aren’t shifting to more resemble Western weddings, I still can’t *imagine* turning people who turn up to my wedding bc I DON’T want to feed them. Food is such a crucial part of Indian weddings. Guests are supposed to be fed, and fed well. No one gets turned away. You make room.

    Same thing with asking guests to not bring their children. Kids running around unsupervised are a fixture at Indian weddings. These were some of my best memories as a kid–getting together with my cousins, many of whom I wouldn’t get a chance to see very often at any other time, and any other random kids who were there, and running around, having fun, without parents being on our heels at all times.

    Obviously, things are changing now as well. And I’m honestly not against that at all. I do think that it’s a good thing for Indian weddings to move away from ideas like bigger = better, or the idea of a wedding being a status symbol for the family. I think it’s good that not everyone gets on a guest list just bc they’re family, and that people are more able to choose who they want to share the day with. But I still can’t imagine closing my doors to strangers, or KIDS. I really can’t. If I were paying that much to have a big party, I’d want my guests (who are doing me the courtesy of being at my wedding at all), to be comfortable, and to have a good time. I wouldn’t want people to feel stressed or obligated or unable to come and share in my joy bc they can’t afford to pay for a bridesmaid dress, or bc they can’t afford child care.

    But, everyone has the right to decide how they want to spend their time and money. People are allowed to make the choices for their day that they feel is the best for them, and if people don’t wish to comply, they don’t have to go. I just don’t think these are the choices I’d make for myself, but different strokes and all that.

    • Ni says:

      I agree, Hispanic weddings are very much the same. If kids aren’t allowed, it feels unnatural.

    • Eviesmom says:

      I love going to Indian weddings! Love it! I’ve never felt so welcomed & hosted as I have at my south Asian friends & family weddings. 💕

    • Anne says:

      We have Sikh friends who told us about their son’s wedding and it sounded amazing and insane. 500 people and the bride (who was not Indian) was flown to India before the wedding to pick out her clothing for the ceremony and party. Must have all cost a fortune and they ended up divorced but our friends did get two great grandson’s out of it.

  25. Kinchicago says:

    I understand no to kids.
    I was in a family wedding where a guest brought her two young kids who SCREAMED like they were on fire the entire ceremony.
    Years later, this is what everyone talks about… Not the vows (no one could hear), not the service but the bad parenting and those screaming kids. No to kids has my support because that wedding was ruined.

  26. Charfromdarock says:

    All of this is perfectly reasonable.

    It’s common courtesy and shouldn’t have to be said only those on the invite are invited but everyone thinks they are a special exception.

    Nor should you wear white (or pale yellow 😉) to a wedding where you know the bride will be in white.

  27. Nicole says:

    I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Life is too short for all these rules for one person, on one day. It’s supposed to be a celebration for goodness sake and somehow it’s gotten twisted to a bazillion rules from the bride. If kids are not invited, I don’t go. If I can’t wear a specific color (other than white), I don’t go. It’s too much.

    • Kate says:

      Hear hear! 2 of my good friends wore white or off-white mini dresses to my beach wedding and it didn’t occur to me to care because they looked great and so did I. No one was confusing them for the bride.

      • Deering says:

        I don’t get the “no white” rule. Come on, how can anyone mistake a regular white dress for a wedding gown?

  28. aang says:

    I’m going to be the curmudgeon here. I’m over big weddings. I hate the historical misogyny of white dresses and the father giving away the bride. I hate the overspending and showing off, the “all about me” vibes that compel brides to makes “rules” in the first place. The entitlement that causes people to argue with the obnoxious rules instead of just sending a gift and staying home. The pressure to invite almost strangers or difficult family members to what should be a meaningful and love filled occasion. And I think social media has only made it worse. Now we have destination engagements, engagement parties, wedding activities that span the course the course of months leading up to the big day. All documented in detail for insta, pinterest, and tik tok. It is just out of control.

  29. Luna17 says:

    The rules seem fine to me but god I hate til too. Every time I see Tik tok videos on Facebook (cuz I’m too old to have the app) it’s self obsessed women saying the dumbest, fakest shit. Crap like “everyone wants to be my mom friend until…” and I’m like no one gives a fuck about if you allow screen time and no one wants to be your friend. Shut up!! This level of self importance and narcissism is just bizarre to even a millennial like me. Who cares, why do you need to post a video about it? Live your life off your damn phone!

    • Christine says:

      I promise the majority of tiktok videos are not like this. You just need to get your algorithm set so it only shows videos you like. None of these insufferable women or dancing teens show up for me.

  30. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Wedding rules. I can’t roll my eyes hard enough. My mother almost had to be rushed to the hospital for wanting bridesmaids to wear black. Nothing sends me down the rebel rabbit hole faster than to hear someone say, “You can’t do that!” Watch me.

  31. ScarcasmQueen says:

    I’m really tired of the wedding industry.

    I think most requests are fairly reasonable on an individual level. But once you start making a list of rules, sending them to everyone, dictating wardrobe choices, I’m staying home. No hard feelings, I’m not mad, I’m just not going to a wedding where it’s clear that the photography results are more important than sharing the day with your guests. And I’d refuse to be in a wedding party that had a uniform code. Again, no hard feelings. I’m just not interested.

    • Nic says:

      Amen to that. I agree 💯
      I think dictating rules is tacky. When I got married people wore white if they wanted to, kids were invited and guests brought dates. Being alone at a wedding in which you know no one is hard, especially for younger singles. Our bridal party had their dates with them and I created a large head table we all sat around so that the partners of the bridal party could sit with their boyfriends/husbands/wives/girlfriends. The more the marrier! It was loads of fun and we got to know the partners a little better as a result. To me weddings are a celebration of friends, family and community. We had a wonderful day.

    • Kate says:

      Agree. People seem to forget that a wedding reception is a party. Your job as host of a party is making sure your guests enjoy themselves and come away from it thinking they had a great time, so the less arbitrary rules the better chance of success. If you can’t afford to feed plus ones and kids of your close friends and family then you need to scale down the wedding somewhere else.

      • Megs says:

        Agreed. We were both mid-30s when we got married (pre-COVID). We paid for everything ourselves and basically had a rule where if we cared about something, we were happy to include it/spend the money. Otherwise, why bother? So it was under 100 people, had good music, good food, open bar, and that was about it. No wedding party, no wedding favors, no garter/bouquet toss/sparkler send off. My husband’s friends came in tracksuits (ongoing joke), and people expected me to care. Why would I? They were there having an amazing time, which is what we wanted. My big advice is to not GAF about anything that’s not you and your partner.

      • ScarcasmQueen says:

        I do think that sometimes kids aren’t appropriate for the venue. I think it’s cool to not want kids even if it’s just because that’s how you feel. But you have to be accepting when people can’t/won’t arrange a sitter.

        But the rest, absolutely. The wedding is yours but the reception is a party you are hosting. Too many of these behave like receptions are fundraising galas or theater invites.

        It’s tacky to make a big deal over how an over how people dress or about feeding the people you invite.

  32. Rachel says:

    I think what’s sad is that we live in a world where people are so inconsiderate that these rules have to be in place! It’s their day, their party, don’t make it about you.
    I will also say this is part of the reason I had a small wedding. I only wanted people around me who were loving and supportive – and I don’t care how big someone’s family is… the circle is small ultimately of who I truly love and trust and rely on to support me in my new life and marriage.

    • Tiffany:) says:

      Yes, I think you really hit the nail on the head. As the past 5 years have exposed, people are increasingly awful and selfish, and it’s a sad reflection of our society that rules for basic decency have to be shared in the first place.

  33. Silent Star says:

    OMG all of this and the comments are exactly why weddings make me feel cringe and why I would never have one. I honestly don’t understand why all these customs are necessary — especially the expensive ones.

    • Nic says:

      Completely agree with you.
      I think dictating rules is tacky. When I got married people wore white if they wanted to, kids were invited and guests brought dates. Being alone at a wedding in which you know no one is hard, especially for younger singles. Our bridal party had their dates with them and I created a large head table we all sat around so that the partners of the bridal party could sit with their boyfriends/husbands/wives/girlfriends. The more the marrier! It was loads of fun and we got to know the partners a little better as a result. To me weddings are a celebration of friends, family and community. We had a wonderful day.

    • Sam the Pink says:

      Yeah, I’m with you. I hate the mentality of “it’s my day!” No, it’s not. It’s A day. Maybe if we put as much effort into our marriages as we did into the weddings, we’d have less divorce. A wedding is a chance for all the people closest to you to come together to celebrate you finding the person you want to be with forever. You are inviting these people to come share your happiness. These people do not owe you anything – you are asking them for their participation.

      Maybe I am biased because I got married in a barn in Montana. We did buffet style, pot-luck, bring your own cooler style, whatever reception. The point was not the food, or the booze, or anything. It was a chance for two large families to come together to celebrate their kids finding love. Everything else was purely secondary.

  34. SarahLee says:

    It’s their wedding and their rules. Period. Including the COVID part. I love how people here are alright with her setting rules but the fact that she DOESN’T specify COVID has you all up in arms. Sheesh. Maybe they’re vaccinated? Maybe the venue has requirements? This wedding is several months in the future, so establishing COVID protocols in January seems a bit silly.

    As for the no white rule, if only Megan had thought to explain this rule to Kate!

  35. goofpuff says:

    I don’t know why people are upset about wedding rules. If you don’t like the rules then just don’t go. The wedding isn’t about you. Nobody cares about you on that day. It’s about the married couple.

  36. Mimi says:

    I think the rules are reasonable enough. And if anyone has a problem with them, just don’t go! It’s HER wedding!

  37. Slippers4life says:

    As a parent I struggle to understand the objection people have to following simple no cost rules for their wedding. If my kids get invited, great! We’ll have a fun family time. If they don’t, great! Free date night! What’s the problem? It’s THEIR day. They are the hosts of a party you are invited to. They get to make the rules. If you don’t like them, you don’t have to go. If you show up and intentionally break the rules, what is your end game? To be that person who intentionally went out of your way to upset someone on their wedding day? To end your relationship with these people? Because that’s all that will happen. The couple isn’t going to go, “wow! Your rule breaking behaviour BEWITCHED us into recognizing that you are so amazeballs. Eff us indeedily do!” If people are asking for something at their wedding which crosses your personal values or boundaries, don’t go!

    • Tiffany:) says:

      I really like how you wrote this comment. It’s got a lot of personality, and I totally agree with it!

    • ‘The couple isn’t going to go, “wow! Your rule breaking behaviour BEWITCHED us into recognizing that you are so amazeballs. Eff us indeedily do!”’ 😄 Exactly…they’re more likely to make a mental note of the rude twit and, in the future, distance themselves as much as possible.

      It’s certainly possible to go overboard in coming up with rules for wedding guests, but it’s no excuse for going the other way and sneering at any rules or etiquette just for existing. Once one is out of their teens, there’s no excuse.

      When deciding whether or not to comply with a given rule (or law), more should be taken into consideration rather than just “it annoys/inconveniences me” (something I especially wish more covidiots would keep in mind).

    • MelOn says:

      The couple isn’t going to go, “wow! Your rule breaking behaviour BEWITCHED us into recognizing that you are so amazeballs. Eff us indeedily do!” I— HOLLERING!!!! This is hilarious!

  38. Letsgetiton says:

    I went to a wedding where people were allowed to bring children. The bride had hired professional babysitters and the kids all had their own party room, with kid foods and games. It was brilliant, I didn’t have to find a babysitter and my kids had a blast.

    I personally hate all of those rules, this woman Anons me. Weddings are insane these days, too expensive and choreographed.

  39. IMARA219 says:

    I had a small wedding with just an incredibly close family (25 people). I didn’t list rules, but no kids were there, and some people wore sundresses to the reception. Even though I didn’t like how casual they looked, I was honestly too happy to be marrying the love of my life to care too much. My stepfather changed after the ceremony into jeans, and even though it was WTF, I just kept looking at my new husband, like whatevs. But if someone had rules, I would follow them because I love them, and I would be honored they invited me. If something rubbed me the wrong way, I just wouldn’t go.

  40. Veronica S. says:

    Huh, you know, I can’t remember the last time I attended a wedding where kids were invited. I think that’s actually pretty common these days unless it’s a huge family affair. The only children I saw at my sister’s and friend’s wedding were either their own children or those involved in the service. Weddings are expensive, long, and tiring. Depending on how big they are, they can also be really overstimulating for kids. I think it’s probably wise not to have them as a general rule unless it’s a destination wedding where getting somebody to watch them for awhile would be tough.

  41. MelOn says:

    Again for the people in the back whining when they can’t bring the kids to a wedding. Most halls charge you full price for the bodies in attendance, so if you bring your 3 yr old, the hosts have to pay for a full plate/seat, even if your kid doesn’t eat the food and they spend the entire time in your lap. They still have to pay. Unless you’re going to cut a check, be quiet.

    • ScarcasmQueen says:

      Do you think all adults clean their plates? And what is the difference between a child sitting in a lap and an adult staying in their seat?

      Also, I used to eat my kid’s leftover good at plated events. The servings ate rarely large enough and/or I didn’t care for everything on my plate and end up hungry at the end.

      There are a myriad of perfectly rational reasons not to want children at your wedding but this seems the oddest.

  42. JJS says:

    Seriously, I wish I had made that no blue rule. I asked people to wear different colours from each other (but didn’t assign colours, because who has time?) and every single person wore blue except my one sister, who is the only one who listened. It gave a really weird vibe to my wedding photos. Learned my lesson!

  43. bluhare says:

    Keep in mind I got married at the local courthouse and we had some people over to dinner and a suite in a lovely hotel.

    I would never ever tell guests what the rules are, not even don’t wear white. If you want to look like an idiot go right ahead. The one wedding I went to where a woman wore white, the rest of us laughed at her. No one takes attention away from the bride and she sure as hell didn’t.

    People are coming and bringing you gifts. Don’t treat them like employees.

  44. Lahaina says:

    While I’ve never been lucky enough to be married, I’ve been madly in love (and heartbroken plenty too :-).

    I don’t relate to this woman. I can’t imagine not only finding the love of my love, but then him asking to marry me. It would be such an immense blessing and time of joy in my life that I can’t understand even giving a rats ass about what somebody else is wearing or who they bring to my wedding nor would I care if children were present. I could get married on a deserted island or in a courthouse or on the sidewalk or not have a wedding at all! As long as I had the love of my life, nothing else really matters.

    This young woman and people like her have their priorities all wrong. I feel sorry for the groom.

  45. Likeyoucare says:

    My cousin gave so many rules for his wedding, that all relatives decided not to go.

    It was during the pendamic both side decided to invite 25 guests for each side for the groom and bride.
    Less than 10 guests came. My aunt called me and asked why non of my siblings came. I was speechless.

  46. someChick says:

    I’m from Europe and, afaik, weddings are far less formal vs US. I haven’t heard of many parties where the bride and groom impose any rules. It’s actually seen as unclassy to ask guests not to bring children or wear specific colors or outfits.
    I’m getting (hopefully – due to COVID) married in June and the only requests we have are “tell us if you’re coming, how many (plus one, kids) & food choice (vegan/gluten free/etc)”. If i think about it, the party it’s more about the guests having fun 🙂

  47. Ry says:

    Lol one thing remains true no matter what; people are always going to find reasons to rage. Everyone is ready to jump at everyone even here. You like the rules? Go. You don’t? Stay home. Who cares.
    As for the alcohol, she’s being cheeky. I doubt she’ll have breathalyzers at the door.
    As for vaccines, the people who attend have the option of not attending if it’s not a rule to be vaccinated. There js still freewill left in the world.

  48. Jan says:

    Perhaps the bride could explain the reason why guests are requested not to wear blue. If the guests know and understand, maybe they would be more willing to comply and not complain. If not explained, it does seem to be a strange request. The only color requirement I have heard of is that only the bride wears white. No matter what, if you don’t want to do as the invitation asks, stay home!