Apologies to Hecate for covering this story, as she’s written many of the Jana Kramer and Mike Caussin stories. We tend to stick to the same celebrities here, but I was so floored by this that I wanted to talk about it. Apparently Jana Kramer was dating a personal trainer and finance guy named Ian Schinelli for six months (tops) before they broke up a couple of months ago. We know about it because they posted photos together starting in late December and then promptly deleted those and unfollowed each other in late March. Before that Jana dated Jay Cutler for a while. And of course she was in a marriage with a sex addict and cheater for years, whom she made excuses for and had a podcast with discussing their various issues.
Jana still has her podcast, Whine Down, where she apparently blamed the breakup on Ian and said he lied to her. Ian is hitting back against that. He just gave an interview to US Magazine in which he revealed that Jana was so controlling during the brief time they were together that she didn’t want him going to the gym or even working at his office. She tried to convince him to workout and work from her house and she also wanted to install a tracker in his phone. After Ian said that to US, Jana issued a statement claiming that Ian cheated on his ex wife (not with Jana I’m assuming).
“I tried to remain silent,” Schinelli began, telling Us that he’s read “inaccurate” statements from Kramer about their relationship and split. “I didn’t want to be known. I appreciated who she was and that’s her world and I respected it and that’s kind of where I wanted to stay. Obviously, with that relationship, I knew I was involved in some of it, which is completely fine.”
“I walked away from her,” Schinelli told Us. “There were certain things that were not good for me. I had talked to a few people and realized that there was just a very strong, anxious attachment she has, and this may be due in part to her ex, which OK, be that as it may, it went on for the entire relationship. I got to a breaking point where I just could not handle it because I had tried — I truly did. I really do care about her, and I still do, but it got to a point where I had to walk away.”
He continued: “Her patterns and toxicity. It’s like, I literally cut off fuel in my life to make your life as easy as possible. I didn’t ask for anything except for me to go to the gym. … I would try to do as much as possible around the house.”
“Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve just seen all this, you know, articles about her, you know, being ‘emotionally exhausted.’ And it’s funny because those are the words that I used and now I see her using it,” he claimed. “It was comical. I had said that. … I’m in such a better place in my life right now.”
“I’m not trying to hurt her,” he continued. “I just wish she would stop saying that she’s healing or that she’s trying to help other people who have trauma or, you know, she’s happy alone. She’s not. She has anxious attachment. And until she actually is happy alone, she’ll never be happy.”
While Schinelli told Us that it didn’t “bother him” that Kramer would post about their romance via Instagram or talk about their relationship on “Whine Down,” he admitted: “Jana from Michigan is pretty f—king great. The Jana from Hollywood is a different story.”
In response to her ex’s claims, Kramer went into detail about why she’s been hesitant to open up about their split. “The reason I haven’t said anything further on this breakup was because Ian lied about cheating on his ex wife and I was trying to protect her. She has become a friend of mine and I was trying to protect her privacy, but she has now given me permission to speak on her behalf,” she claimed in a statement to Us. “Ian is angry because all of his lies have been figured out and is now twisting the story.”
She continued, “I have since found out from many women I was not the only one during our relationship, but I’m happily moving on with my life and I hope for him to do the same.”
When asked to comment on the cheating allegations, Schinelli told Us, “I apologized to my ex-wife and owned my mistakes. … Jana is hurt and is using it against me.”
“She asked me to move in within a month,” Schinelli alleged to Us, despite Kramer’s public claims she didn’t want to move too quickly. “She’s, like, talking about getting engaged within a year. … [Now] I’m thinking, ‘Well, this is the pattern because you got married four times.’ Everything’s a shotgun thing. I would have to kind of hold some reservation, like, I can’t do that. I can’t just jump into it.”
Schinelli told Us that Kramer would “give me guilt trips” during their relationship.
“[She’d be like], ‘Hey, you don’t need to go back to the gym. Why do you have to go back there? Why can’t you just work out here? Why don’t we just do this?’ It was this very low-key manipulative nature that she would have,” he said. “And I don’t know if it stems from her past. I mean, it definitely does. I can’t deny that. … She would say stuff to me to try and make me feel bad about doing anything that I enjoyed. I was like, ‘Aright, well, I’ll sacrifice some of that.’”
He also told Us that he “truly cut off everybody in my life for a five, six-month period” during their romance.
“I was not allowed to be around other females,” he alleged. “I was constantly asked why I was going here. Or if I went to the gym, why am I going back to the gym? Why do I need to go back a second time?”
“Most of the time, I would try to work at her place because it was it made her feel safe. … I’d go back to my place every so often or I’d go into the office, and it was like, ‘Hey, when are you coming back?’ Like, I don’t need to be asked these things. I’m trying to work.”
I checked out Ian’s Instagram and he’s a competitive Crossfitter, which is cool! He has gym buddies who are women, so Jana was probably upset and jealous about that along with being away from him in general. He makes a very good case here about her attachment style. I don’t think it’s one-sided and all Jana’s fault though, it rarely is. The fact that this guy is hitting back so thoroughly speaks somewhat to the mutual problems they were having. I understand getting jealous, especially if you’re used to being cheated on constantly. Then again, Jana is the one who tells all her business and it’s human nature to want to defend yourself when a narrative about you is wrong. She courts so much drama! This is why Jana needs to be single for a while and just work on her issues like Ian is saying. No man is going to fulfill her or solve her attachment problems. Also, if she does date she should avoid posting photos of her new guys! Jana should be waiting at least six months to post photos and she shouldn’t have them move in before that amount of time either.
Thanks to US Weekly for these photos from Jana and Ian’s Instagram accounts. They’ve since deleted them!
Not to nitpick but I don’t think that’s what an anxious attachment style is. That’s just controlling.
I believe him. Why did she befriend his ex-wife? It was, what, a 6-month relationship? It’s not like she was about to become a stepmom (assuming he has kids). I really like the line “And until she actually is happy alone, she’ll never be happy.” I, sadly, know so many people (especially) women like that.
This! She inserted herself into other aspects of his life. And now she’s sharing what she learned to shame him and justify her behavior. It’s toxic.
No matter what issues they had Ian realized this is unhealthy and he walked away. Which is correct. She trashed him. He sounds like he wants to set the record straight and be left alone.
To anyone dating someone they are trying to change… stop. They will change if they want to. They are not a project.
Yup, I totally believe him. I never understood why people feel the need to broadcast every detail of their private relationships though. That in itself is a huge red flag.
Who is she? What has she done? I only know she has a ton of relationship drama.
Haha! Same!! I had to Google why she is famous. Apparently she’s a singer and actress (starred on One Tree Hill).
I just assumed she was on some kind of reality house flipping or singing competition show. I have no clue beyond the relationship drama.
She was in a marriage with an equally toxic man. There was cheating and lies and rehab and children being born. They wrote books and had a podcast about helping relationships and self help while chaos ran rampant in their lives. They profited off sharing their issues.
No one should take advice from them. It’s a train wreck.
I am sorry why go and be friends with his ex-wife? She sounds a mess. She needs to go to therapy and actually follow the steps and stop dating for a while. Good grief.
38 and married four times is a lot. Clearly not big on self-reflection.
I believe him. That’s pretty much exactly how I expected her to behave in a relationship, she has massive issues and really needs to work on them. Privately. But I guess when you make your personal life your whole career, it’s hard to do that?
Her befriending the ex-wife is really manipulative and bizarre.
I believe him too, I don’t know why they’re saying it’s rarely one-sided? I had a jealous controlling boyfriend when I was 17 who 100% would have tracked my phone if that had been a thing then. It was awful, it took me a long time to understand what was going on, and it was absolutely one-sided.
I believe him, too.
Hard no on installing tracking devices and anyone who suggests it.
Not picking a side here, but the whole tracking thing was likely the “find a friend” thing on iphones where you can see your friends’ locations. If you are in a secure, long-term relationship it’s not unreasonable to have access to your partner’s location. Less in a creepy ‘i’m watching you’ way and more in a ‘what time are you going to be home – oh he didn’t leave work yet’ way. I probably wouldn’t ask a new boyfriend to share his location (or share mine with him) until we were very serious though
Yeah, no. Tracking someone is always weird unless it’s your kid or your dog.
I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and it absolutely would not even occur to me to track his phone. Jesus, let people have 5 minutes of privacy. I don’t need to know he stopped at the hardware store or whatever.
Agree tracking a signif. other is toxic and controlling. And anyone who says “why do you need to go (wherever you are headed)?” or gets weird if they cannot go with you is probably in same category.
She sounds like a borderline — they cannot stand to be left alone. Also they seek attention and overshare. And have big mood swings. Would also explain why she is unable to hold a job other than complaining about her life and talking about herself (perfect job for a borderline).
I see validity in the assertion that she should be single for a while to work out her trauma and relevance to her questioning him if he was cheating or had cheated. She should not date people who have been unfaithful in previous relationships – not that everyone repeats behavior, but she has trauma that can be triggered.
However, in a more healthy relationship where someone cheats and wants to heal the relationship, step one is volunteering up information in full transparency to make the partner feel safe. She was the one demanding transparency so that is off balance and shows he probably wasn’t terribly invested by that point (if was 5/6 months, I don’t blame him).
I do respect that he remained quiet until necessary.
“She should not date people who have been unfaithful in previous relationships – not that everyone repeats behavior, but she has trauma that can be triggered.”
This 💯
Thirding this. It’s telling that she always ends up in relationships with men like this. No one deserves to be cheated on, but if it’s happening again and again, it might be time for some introspection.
I believe him too. He doesn’t outright trash her and he admits that he cheated on his ex wife. If he was completely in the wrong he would just trash Jana and blame his ex wife too. And yes Jana sounds very controlling.
I wonder if she’s considered not airing her dirty laundry.
My thoughts exactly. I know I am old school but I feel like there is a point when you air all your dirty laundry…regardless of how clean you may appear based on your side of the story…all you end up looking like is messy messy people. (Johnny Depp and Amber Heard come to mind)
He isn’t sharing anything ground breaking about Jana. She is clingy and insecure and needs to be in a relationship to be “happy.” She’s addicted to love and all that she thinks comes with it. I think she should be single for 1 year and focus on her mind and spirit through therapy. I cannot imagine the way this affect her children who will likely pick up some of the characteristic of their parents. Messy, messy.
Jena is doing everything but getting professional therapy about what she endured in her last two marriages.
She was physically abused in the first one and emotionally abused in the second one.
That is a lot for any person, no matter their strength.
Regardless of her history of bein abused and manipulated in her previous marriage to that sex addict guy, she’s showing signs of narcissism.
When someone ostracizes you from friends, family and work like that, it’s a red flag and you should R U N.
She didn’t flat out say: don’t go to the gym or to work, only do that from home – but it’s VERY clear what her intent was with her constant questions on why he had to go places.
The fact that he couldn’t have female friends and hardly ever talked to other people while she was with her, is just insane.
She might be deeply scarred from her previous toxic relationship, but controlling because of anxiety is also commen in narcissism.
She should not be in any relationship. She could quite honestly damage another person with her toxic behavior and coping mechanisms.
She’s always screamed desperate to me, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a narcissistic personality disorder.
Thisss. Also, narcissists are easily manipulated once you know their tricks and often can and do wind up in abusive relationships themselves because they live off of external validation. Then, when they date someone “normal,” they step into the abusive role. I literally watched this happen to my friend who was dating a doctor. He was the narcissist with an abusive ex wife and abusive ex girlfriend (they were very real, he was not making them up, the ex GF tried to get back together with him the entire time he was dating my friend and would come into their workplace). He dated my friend who was sweet and supportive and then went full abusive narc on her once he got her isolated from her friends and financially dependent on him (he convinced her to give up her job and work at his practice).
She sounds exhausting and unhealthy. She is old enough to know better and needs to get actual help to deal with men issues. I hope her kids are ok, this isn’t healthy behavior to model .
It must be so exhausting to live your life like this.
She comes off as needy and quite pathetic. I think she just needs to stay single. Relationships don’t see to be working for her.
I think her behavior stems from childhood trauma.
Insecure or anxiously attached as a result.
Not sure it she was traumatized by family of origin or I would also look into childhood sexual abuse.
I have empathy for her. These are negative coping mechanisms and they have legitimate origins.
The good news is that she continues to invest in therapy and hopefully that will help.
Love everything about your comment.
When my wife left me 2 years ago and has refused to accepted my apology, She found out that my ex few years ago is actually her younger sister. She was furious that her sister and I has kept it as a secret ever since our 12 years of marriage.
I just want to say we are back together now, we renewed our vows last week after I did a love reunited spell from
I’ve gotta admit, I’m always interested in stories about her despite not really knowing anything much her aside from her relationship dramas. It’s just always so messy! I feel for her though. I think a lot more therapy is needed, because she keeps falling into the same dynamic over and over again, and it’s certainly not healthy for her.