Martha Stewart would love for her friends to die so she could date their husbands

Martha Stewart is 80 years old, single and ready to mingle with some widowers. She has some specific widowers in mind, only those men are not widowers quite yet! The men she’s interested in are her living friends’ husbands. So Martha casually mentioned in a podcast interview that she would love it if her friends died so she could date their husbands.

Martha Stewart might not be wishing her pals ill will, but she’s also not holding out for their happily ever afters. The 80-year-old television personality appeared on Chelsea Handler’s podcast, “Dear Chelsea,” on Wednesday and got honest about the tricky arena of having a crush on a friend’s partner.

“I had two mad crushes in the last month, which is really good for me, but turns out one of them is married to the mother of some friends of mine,” she explained. “He’s so attractive.”

Handler responded by pointing out that it’s best not to be a person blamed for the breakup of a relationship saying, “You can’t be a homewrecker.”

“I’m not. I’ve never been a homewrecker. I’ve tried really hard not to be,” Stewart admitted adding, however, that she has had the opportunity. “I have not taken anybody up on it. And that’s really where that’s where I meet men. They’re all married to friends of mine or something like that.”

Handler related to Stewarts’ dilemma noting that dating at certain times in life can be precarious in large part because of age. “It’s very difficult because I think there are certain ages we go through where it’s very tempting because you want to believe that ‘Oh, maybe this relationship that they’re in is temporary.’”

“Or maybe they’ll die, I always think, ‘Oh gosh, couldn’t that person just die — the wife — and not painfully just die,’” Stewart joked, adding, “But it hasn’t worked out.”

[From Today]

Am I crazy or was this a Law & Order episode, only the genders were reversed? A man had a crush on his best friend’s wife so he ended up killing his best friend and marrying the widow. Martha is giving Big Law & Order energy. Her emphasis on not wanting her friends to die PAINFULLY is especially disconcerting, because it shows she really has put significant thought on how these women should die and how long Martha will wait before asking out their widowers. What would you do if you were friends with Martha? Hide your husbands, damn!

Photos courtesy of Instagram, Avalon Red.

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78 Responses to “Martha Stewart would love for her friends to die so she could date their husbands”

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  1. Persephone says:

    Wow…was this supposed to be funny/charming? It is not.
    Martha this is not a good look.

    • Tulipworthy says:

      Agree 100%. Why would you say something like that?

      • BothSidesNow says:

        Publicly, no less! Martha’s friends are going to start dropping like flies…..

        Maybe Snoop Dogg has a friend for Martha 😉

      • Deering24 says:

        ” Martha’s friends are going to start dropping like flies….”

        Someone give Gillian Flynn or A Simple Favor’s author a heads-up. Would love to see the book they get outta this…😈😈

        “Maybe Snoop Dogg has a friend for Martha 😉”


      • Lola says:

        Snoop is married, he himself might be who she was talking about

    • Debbie says:

      All I know is that it’s a very Martha Stewart thing to say, both the sentiment expressed and the way she said it. Like, not wanting them to die “painfully,” now THAT’S the mark of a true friend; and her saying “Oh gosh” because it would be sacrilegious somehow to say, “Oh God.” She’s precious.

  2. Eurydice says:

    I don’t think she has given it “significant thought.” I think she made a tasteless joke and tried to edit it while she was speaking.

    • BudsBunny says:

      She’s just crushing hard on an unavailable man and being honest about it.
      You always want to share that excitement when wound up like that.

      She means no harm and her friends know that.

      I’d think she intimidates most men.

    • teehee says:

      If she’s 80 and these guys are the husbands of friends, she may have known the couple for 20 years or longer by now. It not like she walks into a room and says ‘Man I hope that lady dies’ just randomly.

      Its probably an older person thing/joke. They have so many more years on their belt and are so much more comfortable with death than younger people, and have already lived through many deaths of acquaintances- so its not entirely unrealistic.

  3. Honey says:

    I’ve seen a number of interviews and cooking shows with Martha. She’s highly sarcastic with a dark sense of humor. I’ll give her a pass for trying to make a joke that’s fallen flat and being taken literally.

    • Twin Falls says:


    • Concern Fae says:

      I’m guessing that if you were there
      In person it may very well have come across OK. I’ll confess to having had similar thoughts flit across my mind, but never to the point of ever wanting it to come true. Just like I can fantasize about an actor who I know I wouldn’t want to spend time with IRL.

    • MsGnomer says:

      Her words were so macabre, it is hilarious.

  4. C says:

    Martha is one of those ice queens who pretends to be cuddly for the public, and always has been. Respect for her hustle but yeah, she’s weird.

    • Kate says:

      Agree. I think the last few things I read about her were (1) an interview where she said she fired people who tried to have boundaries around their personal lives and wouldn’t take a work call in the bathtub on a Sunday and (2) constant digs at other lifestyle mavens (talking sh*t about Ina Garten’s drinking)

    • Carley says:

      It’s a complete act, I’ve seen her in person go from being her actual, miserable and cruel self to turning on the charm and a fake persona in 0.5 seconds when someone she wants to impress walks in the room. The way celebrities/royals etc. treat their staff, and other “insignificant” people when cameras aren’t on them is their true self.

  5. girl_ninja says:

    Messy Martha. I cannot STAND Chelsea Handler.

  6. Lux says:

    I thought it was a little bit funny and definitely understandable—if they divorce, your alliances are still split. If they pass, you’re there to “comfort” their partners…* Reminds me of the comedian who said it would be easier if his partners died than for him to break up with them.

    *Totally in jest. She’s really putting it out there that her friends’ husbands have made advances and she’s declined because she’s not that person, but under “different” circumstances…

    It is interesting to me that in her 80s, MS is still prioritizing the potential of dating men over the lives/company of her girlfriends. I’ve been to my MIL’s affluent senior community and pickings are SLIM because women generally outlive men. What happens is the formation of beautiful female friendships.

    • HoofRat says:

      Even in jest, she’s assuming that grieving men would want to hook up with the biggest control freak on the East coast.

      • Lola says:

        Some men (and I’m sure women and nonbinaries) get married BECAUSE they want to have someone controlling and dictating their life, as they find that easier. They can just go along with the person who is running the show instead of having to figure out life themselves.

  7. Shawna says:

    It sounds stone-cold, but I think I’m team “joke gone wrong.” My MIL is about that age, and she and her friends are all about making weird jokes about who dies first, who will stay a widow(er) or not, who would hook up in a retirement home, etc. I think it’s a coping mechanism for them. They can’t always be melancholy about confronting death, loneliness, etc. Chelsea Handler isn’t the most tactful of people, either, so I could see her trying to push Martha to say outrageous things for humors’ sake.

    • Eurydice says:

      Yes, I have older friends who make jokes like that – death, dementia, incontinence, crazy things they do when alone – these are part of their daily life. If they had to be serious about these things all the time, they’d go crazy.

    • Gelya says:

      My Mom and her friends do the same thing. It is hilarious to listen to them. I wouldn’t be surprised if her friends didn’t call her right after with a who is it list, lol.

    • Sam says:

      I listened to the podcast episode and I think it’s half joke and she also is not great with interpersonal relationships. It wasn’t as bad as I was expecting tbh.

  8. HK9 says:

    This is one of those jokes that sounds better in your head.

  9. Div says:

    This was probably a joke. I’ve seen some interviews with her before and she comes off as having a very dark, sarcastic sense of humor.

  10. Mel says:

    It was an old Law & Order episode and it was called “Legacy.” The wife ends up divorcing her second husband once the truth comes out. Adam Schiff at the end with the classic one-liner, “Gotta be tough to realize you married your stalker.”

  11. Lola says:

    Martha was 100% joking and she has always been an ice queen / savage and never hidden it. Her sense of humor is not even THAT savage / dark but because she performs femininity / presents as very femme, people act like it’s some kind of betrayal or she’s some sort of monster. Femme people are allowed to enjoy dark humor too.

    She went to federal prison and served her time and didn’t bother with an appeal. As she and her BFF Snoop like to say, she has done more prison time than him. Her tough personality wouldn’t even be remarked upon as something negative if she had a masculine presentation instead of such a feminine one. Femme people are allowed to be tough/hard, and have a sense of humor to match, just as much as masc people.

    • Shawna says:

      I love this point!

    • C says:

      Well, yeah. People can also take issue with her jokes if they’re weird. That’s the beauty of free speech.
      Also – she went to prison for a crime. Of course she did her time and it was the same limited easy sentence they give to all white collar millionaire criminals. I’ll praise her for a lot but not for that. And she most definitely did appeal to overturn her conviction even if it was after she served.

      • Eurydice says:

        The odd thing was that she was convicted of lying and obstruction of justice regarding charges that were later dismissed. I remember people saying at the time that she had terrible legal advice and was also really pig-headed about managing things herself.

      • aftershocks says:

        Eh, if you really examine how it all went down, it stinks of a set-up. Martha was overly loyal to a friend’s stock involving a new drug that had yet to be approved by the FDA. Her broker advised her to sell the stock early on. She didn’t, out of loyalty to her friend. Months later, there was scuttlebutt the product would not be approved. Martha received advance notice. Subsequently, she and her broker were accused and much later convicted of insider trading.

        Martha’s trial was a messy gossip-fest, seek-and-destroy mission orchestrated by James Comey. Martha’s magazine empire, her career, and her businesses were put on the chopping block because of her super-sized success as a female entrepreneur across lifestyle genres. Bush Jr. was POTUS and it was the time of Enron and malfeasance by many male corporate execs. I believe Martha was set up to be the demon woman face of corporate excess to distract from the Enron mess and other male-generated corp. messes. Enron was a company led by Bush Jr.’s former crony, Ken Lay.

        Martha’s insider stock trading mistake, yeah was against the law, but it was something normally treated with a slap on the wrist. In Martha’s case, they tried to crucify her, and destroy her entire empire. Martha’s broker also went to jail and lost his career. Her employees suffered, etc., etc. Meanwhile, her business empire had absolutely no connection to her poor decision to maintain the stock in a drug product her friend was trying to get approved. Again Martha’s trial was more about gossip and pitting all her employees against her, rather than being about the pursuit of justice.

        Ultimately, Martha’s elderly scientist friend had to relinquish ownership of his company and the product he created. Once other investors were in charge, the FDA approved the product. Things that make you go hmmm.

      • C says:

        For a brief period I worked in finance and during training and my licensing we studied her case. I agree the trial and its coverage was splashy. She actually did not receive a conviction for the trading part of it, due to lack of evidence, but that I do not agree with given that it’s obvious she was tipped off and she did sell her shares. That in itself is a pretty fortunate thing. Furthermore, I would say a 5 month minimum security sentence and then five months house arrest along with a fine of $30,000 is a slap on the wrist for what she was convicted of (correct me if I am wrong but she was convicted of conspiracy and perjury which can bring a 5 year sentence, obstruction of justice as well, which can bring more). Not to mention her civil case with the SEC which for financial reasons did bar her for five years from holding directorial positions with any public company.

        Regardless of the publicity surrounding the trial, stock in her company only went up during her prison time and she was able to get two shows on NBC as a result.

        So I’m not really going to feel that sorry for her, because there’s really no need to. She bounced back fine.

      • Eurydice says:

        @aftershocks – Martha was never convicted of insider trading. Those charges were dismissed. She was convicted of lying to the investigators and of obstruction of justice – erasing (or trying to erase) a voice mail, and of conspiracy (trying to cook up a story with her broker).

      • aftershocks says:

        ^^ Oh right! Thanks for the correction. I totally co-sign all of your observations @Eurydice. In the beginning, Martha did not have criminal lawyers. She made a ton of strategic, legal, and p.r. errors. Still, it was ultimately a set-up orchestrated against her. Bush admin and Comey had strikes against her because of her success as a woman, but also b/c she gave her money to Democrats! LOL! I’ve always liked Martha. She’s badass, yet human and fallible. She makes fun of herself too. 😉

        Martha had used her private funds to invest in the stock. Her stock purchase was not connected in any way to her own businesses. Unfortunately, she went against her broker’s advice to sell the stock months before she received advance notice that the stock would tank based on preliminary rejection of the application for FDA approval. Her broker made mistakes too, but largely because she was his client is why his career was destroyed. Martha should have listened to the broker months earlier, and the whole mess might have been avoided.

        Martha’s mistakes were surely based on hubris and her Type A personality. I’d like to think Martha learned something in jail, and maybe made friends and privately tried to help some of the women she met there.

      • Julia K says:

        @Eurydice, you are correct. I followed this closely back in the day and was glad the insider trading charges were dismissed.( So many others were doing it with no repercussions). She did own up to lying etc. She used her time in prison to help and mentor other women. That said, she’s probably not the nicest employer.

      • aftershocks says:

        @C said: “Regardless of the publicity surrounding the trial, stock in her company only went up during her prison time and she was able to get two shows on NBC as a result. So I’m not really going to feel that sorry for her, because there’s really no need to. She bounced back fine.”

        ^^ Thanks for your knowledgeable input about the trial and what M was convicted of. However, nope. That was not great publicity. Many innocent people employed by Martha suffered. Her biggest mistake was lying b/c she feared going to jail. She did not have good criminal attorneys advising her. The situation was new to her because she did not have a criminal mind, much less criminal intent. This was mostly about bringing down a successful woman, and the general public knew it. That’s one of the reasons for the “Free Martha Stewart” campaign, which was earnest and also tongue-in-cheek.

        Of course, Martha’s errors in judgement are what convicted her in the end. That doesn’t negate that it was a set-up orchestrated by the venerable misogynist, James Comey. Remember the faux outcry over ‘new info’ on Hillary’s emails two weeks b/f the 2016 presidential election. Eh!

        Who feels sorry for Martha? She never asked for anyone’s pity. She did her time and maybe learned some lessons. A lot of people still suffered during the effort to take her down. She didn’t help herself in that process, but she certainly don’t need pity. Her broker maybe could use some though. By now, for Martha, all water under the bridge, which she can joke about. Still doesn’t negate the set-up. BTW, Martha survived, weathered the storm, and got offers for shows from NBC, cuz she’s a total badass when it comes to being a lifestyle influencer — a genre she practically created singlehandedly.

      • C says:

        I’m not sure I understand what you mean. I’m not talking about James Comey who, yes I despise, or anyone else, because this post isn’t about them and it doesn’t negate her convictions. I never said it was good publicity. I stated a fact, echoing your last paragraph, which is that stock in her company went up during her incarceration and almost immediately following it she purloined it into television. That took skill, in any case.

        I think she’s a pretty impressive person, but yes, she broke the law and tried to cover it up. She didn’t murder anyone or anything like that, and you won’t find me defending the financial markets as bastions of good ethics so it’s not like that hill is one I’m going to die on, but you can like someone and admit they probably had some criminal intent in mind in a situation like this (and that counts as what you refer to as an error in judgement, which affected her employees as well). Rich white women get a lot of passes too.

        It’s not a dichotomy of “she’s a horrible evil person” vs “she was a babe in the woods victimized by men seeking her downfall”. If she was either of those things she wouldn’t be where she is today.

        Anyway, she’s obviously tough, and a cultural icon. She can poke fun at herself too, to an extent, which is always good.

      • aftershocks says:

        Yep @C. I ain’t looking at it in terms of Martha as a rich white woman or as a victimized ‘babe in the woods.’ She was most definitely victimized due to her outsized success and her gender. The attempted crucification was political and it was misogynistic.

        And oh yeah, Martha did try to cover up her stock trading mistake by lying. It was hubris and fear on her part. But it did not start out as criminal intent. It began as loyalty to a friend. The overdone takedown was obvious. The trial was a made-for-the-tabloids trashy affair. Everyone involved in that gossipy circus should be embarrassed. Of course, Martha garnered some public sympathy as a result. But she needs no pity. I feel sorry for her broker, not her.

        Martha happens to be white, but she didn’t come from wealth. She made her her own wealth, and then some.

    • Lucy says:

      I love her for all these reasons. I probably wouldn’t want to hang out with her because I’m sure it’s no picnic, but I adore her giant brass balls. She was a freaking stockbroker back when there were probably less than 10 women trading on the floor. No one’s ever thought she was a warm cuddly grandma, she doesn’t need anyone to like her.

  12. Merricat says:

    I’m curious as to who these friends might be. I’ll bet the friends are curious, too.

    • Green girl says:

      Right?! If I were one of her friends with a husband she’d like to date, am I weirded out or am I secretly pleased she’s maybe a bit jealous of me?

  13. Carley says:

    She is one of the meanest people you will ever meet. Have had to go to a few meetings with her. She is narcissistic and delusional and all of her staff and employees were afraid of her. The type of person that would make someone cry because they brought her a drink with the wrong number of iced cubes in it, that sort of thing. She always got in her own way because everyone around her is always scared to tell her when she’s wrong – the few people she likes, trusts and surrounds herself with are yes people so her company was so dysfunctional. Something very wrong with her.

    • Lola says:

      I spent about a decade working as a personal assistant to a number of very high level executives in Manhattan (all of them being women). I also interfaced with many other personal assistants on the same level. Even though the assistants are often in their 20’s (it helps not to have your own family yet) and these executives are in their 40’s and 50’s, you end up becoming literally a mother figure to them. You know them inside and out so you can anticipate and provide for their every need. You end up packing for every outing being prepared with a bag, exact same sort of idea as a diaper bag, which will have everything they need. They cry and you comfort them. They are stressed/scared and you talk it through or listen. They are going to need a nap at a certain time or they will get overstimulated and overtired, you remind them. You know when their blood sugar will drop or can tell it’s happening, you bring them their snack. Even stuff involving periods, or other feminine issues, and ACCIDENTS can and do happen, you are there making sure they have what they need and if an accident happens you help them take care of it. They DO end up relying on you emotionally very heavily. You often end up as their only/closest friend/confidante. You are closer to them than their own family. I guess you are a yes person but it’s way deeper than that. You are the mom who cares for and about them and supports them. So you’re going to say yes and make them feel supported at all times, that’s your role. There are also roles for people who can say no to them and contradict them. They are being real but you are ALSO being real. It’s just different. I can see why certain people surround themselves with ONLY their longtime PA though.

      • C says:

        Ok, but that doesn’t really have much to do with her behavior in meetings or how all the rest of her staff are treated.

    • Eurydice says:

      I did a couple of projects with a woman who used to be the “crafts person” for Martha’s magazine. She said that whenever Martha visited the office, people would send out the alarm “Satan’s in the building.”

    • N. says:

      And then there’s the other side of the coin – I knew someone who worked for her in CT. She said that, contrary to all the rumors, she was actually really nice and very pleasant to work for. I was ready to hear the “dirt”, believe me, but she swore she had a great experience working with her.

      • Carley says:

        I’m actually shocked anyone could have had a good experience working for her lol – do you know what your friend did for her in CT? Was this back in the catering business days and/or when she still had a house in Westport (“Turkey Hill”)?

      • N. says:

        Carley: yes, a long time ago – I think she worked for her initially in catering in CT but not sure what she ended up doing there – she was involved in creative teamwork with the company somehow. I really wanted some spilled tea on MS but she was adamant that she didn’t have any issues with her – nothing but nice things to say. Hmmm….

  14. PaperclipNumber99 says:

    Love her or hate her, she is undeniably a badass.

    • Karennotkaren says:

      That sums it up, perfectly!

    • aftershocks says:

      ^^ 💯 ☑️ Absolutely @PaperClip Number99! Femme aggressor, steely-eyed entrepreneur, badass billionaire, demanding employer — funny how men don’t get critiqued for being ‘Satan-like’ employers, eh! Read biographies about Martha’s upbringing. Demanding is the least of it.

      • Carley says:

        Sadly, most narcissists had less than happy childhoods, and the cycle tends to continue. She has a very strained relationship with her own daughter.

  15. Shannon says:

    This reminds me of that book, “men are from Mars, women are from Venus“ which includes a passage recommending women who are looking for partners to, I sh*t you not, call up old classmates and acquaintances to see if their wives had died.
    Not related, but also wacky, it also had a passage about how if you’re on a plane or in a restaurant you should get up and go to the bathroom a lot, just in case your future soulmate can see you if they are on that plane and in that same restaurant.

  16. Miranda says:

    It’s obviously just a dark joke. Sounds like something Blanche would say on The Golden Girls.

  17. Karennotkaren says:

    She spoke at my kids’ high school graduation, this year. It was intense and hopeful, just barely sentimental. So her jokes coming off as dark don’t surprise me. She gave her back story to the young audience, with a “lesson learned” after each experience she cited. It was really powerful, I think especially for the young women. Her road was not an easy one, she was a woman taking on men’s roles well before any gender equity existed in those jobs. She fully acknowledged her mistakes (including jail). When she was finished, I whispered to her husband, “it would be great to be her friend, and I’m glad I never had to work for her 😆.” My daughters thought she was incredibly motivating and thoughtful. They spoke to her at the reception and said she is also engaged with causes around penal/justice reform. I admire that.

  18. Nibbi says:

    Eh, I kinda like her honesty and dark humor here. I always thought of her as this arch-conservative tight-ass pearl-clutcher, and then she went to prison, and then did that (frankly weirdly hilarious and charming) show with Snoop Dogg, and I can appreciate that she kinda has a snarky edge like this. Who doesn’t like a little galllows humor mixed with girltalk, seriously?

    Chelsea Handler tho – I can’t stand.

  19. Asking for a Friend says:

    Martha is wicked and I’m here for it!

  20. Deering24 says:

    “Am I crazy or was this a Law & Order episode, only the genders were reversed? A man had a crush on his best friend’s wife so he ended up killing his best friend and marrying the widow.”

    One of my fave L&O eps. 😈 And man was secretly stalking the wife. And her MIL was about to hire Lennie (posing as a hit man) to kill him. Again. 🤣🤣

  21. Roast says:

    She’s shameless! The gossip mill has always said she is self-serving, so this type of comment comes as no surprise. Brutal.

  22. jferber says:

    Still, if I were a married friend of hers, I wouldn’t drink her Chardonnay at lunch. Or the water in the water glasses. The human mind is a wonderful and terrible thing.

  23. Jaded says:

    In my bitchiest, most sarcastic moment, I would NEVER say publicly something like “I wish my friend Doris would kick the bucket cuz’ I’d be all over her husband”. It was utterly tactless and self-serving. But that’s Martha — a driven, jealous, conniving, famewhore who has a very strained relationship with her daughter and incessant staff turnover at her company. She is what she is; a mean, arrogant, narcissistic diva.

  24. jferber says:

    Nor eat the food. But then she and her friends don’t eat, do they?

  25. Jan90067 says:

    Yes, Kaiser, that was a L&O episode. The “best friend” killed the the husband and claimed they were climbing some big rock (I think in Central Park) and he “fell” (with help of course). Then he married the wife after being her “source of comfort”. She had *no* idea.

    There have been quite a few like it, but that one stands out to me.

  26. Nikki says:

    My MIL was widowed in her 80’s after 60 years of marriage, & told me about 5 months later she had a boyfriend. I asked, “Really?” and she replied – totally serious – “Yes, he’s GORGEOUS! But I have to wait for his wife to die. She’s got cancer..” She only felt sorry for herself at having to wait!! His wife did pass away, and my MIL moved in with him; his adult kids were in shock. She & my dad-in-law had been longtime friends of that couple, but my MIL shed no tears for the wife! :0

  27. Well Wisher says:


  28. Well Wisher says:

    So Oops is in order??

  29. Carley says:

    One last thing – look up her relationship with her ex husband Andy Stewart. Kind of explains a lot and just consistent with her overall personality.

    • Jaded says:

      Yup. They definitely had a marriage from hell — everything from her being a demanding, condescending control freak to their rampant infidelities. No wonder her daughter barely speaks to her.

      • Carley says:

        Her relationship with her daughter definitely is a strained one, but strangely they seem somewhat codependent on each other and Alexis is completely financially dependent on her – she’s in her later 50s now and really never had a career – for a few years she had a very part time gig doing a radio and television podcast on her mother’s network where she would make fun of Martha and rif on Marth Stewart television segments. And she wrote a tell all book about growing up Martha Stewart’s daughter. But that was basically it, so she has to somewhat stay on Martha’s good side to remain financially dependent on her which is very strange that she never tried to break away and do her own thing.

      • Jaded says:

        @Carley — you hit the nail on the head. Codependency like that starts with a parent constantly pointing out flaws and failures instead of nurturing successes. Alexis grew up with an impossible task — she had to please a demanding mother who wasn’t there for her emotionally and wanted her to be a mini-me. I had a mother sort of like that and it took me years to overcome the damage she inflicted to my self-esteem.

  30. Valerie says:

    I always thought she was gay.

  31. Bookie says:

    I wish she would share the name of her plastic surgeon. Girl looks fabulous for 80.