Josh Hawley ran away like a coward on January 6th after riling up terrorists

In the immediate wake of the January 6th terrorist attack on the Capitol, Senator Josh Hawley was one of several MAGA a–hole Republicans getting the blame for inciting the insurrection. Hawley had, at that point, spent weeks fueling ratf–king conspiracies and questioning the legitimacy of the election. On the morning of January 6th, as he entered the Capitol, Hawley raised his fist in solidarity with the soon-to-be insurrectionists already outside:

Following the insurrection, Hawley’s hometown paper excoriated him, saying he is responsible for the domestic terrorist attack on the Capitol. He also lost a book deal and he whined about the First Amendment, but he’s still a sitting senator, and he’s still doing awful things. But here’s something: during last night’s primetime Jan. 6th Committee hearing, the committee showed never-before-seen footage of Hawley escaping the Capitol like a coward as terrorists breached the building.

Chickensh-t coward. Why didn’t he stay in the Capitol with his terrorist buddies? Why did this micropenis bitch exit so quickly? Didn’t he want to commit terrorism with his friends?

PS… Officer Fanone could get it, right? That man is HOT.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

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85 Responses to “Josh Hawley ran away like a coward on January 6th after riling up terrorists”

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  1. Sean says:

    When danger reared its ugly head, Sir Hawley bravely turned and fled!

    • Lolo86lf says:

      Nice rhyme! Please give us more poetic justice verses with alliteration. 😃

      • ThatsNotOkay says:

        He was not in the least bit scared
        To be mashed into a pulp.
        Or to have his eyes gouged out,
        And his elbows broken.
        To have his kneecaps split
        And his body burned away,
        And his limbs all hacked and mangled
        Brave Sir Hawley.

      • Lolo86lf says:

        Nice work, thanks.

      • NotSoSocialB says:

        Watch Monty Python’s The Holy Grail, or search that in addition to brave Sir Robin!

        ” When danger reared its ugly head, he quickly turned his tail and fled- brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!” 😆

    • ThatsNotOkay says:

      He was not afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

    • phlyfiremama says:

      Perfect use of a Monty Python Holy Grail snippet!! *Applauds

    • Doodle says:

      Monstrous Maga-ts broke the building
      Jogging Joshie’s feet be fleeing

    • The Recluse says:

      Yep. There were clips of Brave Sir Robin from Monty Python and the Holy Grail trending beneath this video clip and people were re-writing the lyrics. Now, if only we could get Eric Idle to come on Colbert and perform it with new Hawley lyrics.

  2. girl_ninja says:

    Running like the b*tch rat he is. His Twitter mentions are in shambles! I hope all he ever gets in response to his tweets is that video and being called a scared little b*tch.

    • Southern Fried says:

      I can enjoy that game, thanks.

    • Lolo86lf says:

      Why was he scared of the moronic MAGA mob? They weren’t there to hurt him! They were there to get Pence, Pelosi and possibly AOC?

    • MeganC says:

      I just worry there is nothing more dangerous than a humiliated white man. Trump being the prime example.

      • girl_ninja says:

        Because we let them get away with their bullsh*t and allow them to safe and spare their egos. Trump should have been impeached, instead we have him again attempting to try and run for president AGAIN in 2024. He has got to be taken down and stopped and so does Hawley and the republican party.

      • MC2 says:

        All of what @girl_ninja said. We placate white men in our society and we all (me included) are so afraid of them, that we feed into their egos. I am reminded of my trump supporting in laws who said that Invaka would keep him in check…why people would support a man who needed his daughter to reign him in like it’s the norm, and our life’s work, is a societal sickness. Let these men fail, scream & burn in the public light- with none of us trying to soothe them.

  3. Seaflower says:

    The twitter thread by The_Mal_Gallery with him running to different music is brilliant.

  4. Kitten says:

    LOL what a little bitch. All these QAnon f*cks are little babies.

    • Jan90067 says:

      I’ve not seen running like that since watching a Buster Keaton movie 😄 😄 😄

      Hawley runs like the coward HE IS. I doubt he gave any thought to the staff he left behind either.

  5. Southern Fried says:

    It is sooo funny and well deserved. Another GQP stain dirtying up our Capitol.

  6. AnneL says:

    When they first played it fast and then played it slowed down….that was top-notch trolling. It was like “Twitter, do your thing.”

    Gawd I want to punch him.

    • TwinFalls says:

      Including the slow mo was savage.

    • Tiffany:) says:

      When they played it live, my mouth dropped open. I couldn’t believe how perfectly they played this hand. It was so incredibly humiliating, but cloaked in legitimate purpose as video of the attack and people fleeing for their lives.

    • SuzieQ says:

      Liz Cheney is ice-cold. Respect.

  7. Juju says:

    I love that Josh Hawley is being skewered and that police officer was right on with what he said.

    As a Missourian, it makes me sick that he represents our state.

    • Swack says:

      Same here, from MO and am totally embarrassed by him. But it will be even more embarrassing if Greitens is also elected.

      • Lizzie says:

        Came to say the same. I hope that clip of Hawley running away is used by his opponents in every race he runs forevermore. Hawley is an embarrassment but Greiten’s is scary and there is a lot of support for him.

    • Blithe says:

      So many opportunities for good puns here in future ads. Voiceover: “Remember when Josh Hawley decided to RUN for Congress? And took it a little bit too far….” Lol

      The video is priceless! I hope his opponents use it well.

    • Dazed and Confused says:

      I said the same thing about putting that clip in every ad against him. I live on the Kansas side of the KC area and I am subjected to all of the hideous ads from both sides of the state line. It’s truly horrible.

      Not to mention that he doesn’t even LIVE in Missouri. He uses his sister’s address or something.

  8. Aaron McColon says:

    In fairness to Josh, this article is wrong about one thing. Those weren’t “never-before-seen” clips they showed of him escaping like a coward. I’ve been laughing at those for quite some time now.

    • Lolo86lf says:

      I didn’t know this video of Hawley running away existed. The media in general is only focused on looping videos where President Biden is falling off a bike.

  9. nutella toast says:

    This particular set of tweets from the GOP has filled me with joy (people always tell on themselves):

  10. TheOriginalMia says:

    I was glad they called him out last night. Torpedo his presidential ambitions. Show him for the coward and traitor he is.

  11. MeganC says:

    The problem with Hawley and his ilk is they think they can control the monsters they make.

    • Lucy says:

      THIS PART.

      But deep down, they know they can’t and they scatter at the first sign of danger like the cockroaches they are.

    • Christine says:

      Spot on. I think this is why they gleefully incite so much violence. As long as that anger is directed at someone else, they’re safe.

    • lucy2 says:

      Exactly. And it’s all ego boosting and hate riling until there’s a literal mob with weapons at the door.

  12. K says:

    Officer Fanone is a brave human. Josh Hawley needs a Thundershirt.

    • TIFFANY says:

      No Fanone ain’t. He admitted he thought those terrorists were his people and never go after HIM, a man of their same skin color and a cop at that. And he voted for Trump. Twice.

      He only talking like this because he was the target and he thought he had protection because of the complexion.

      • Southern Fried says:

        Yikes. Had me fooled.

      • MeganC says:

        Fanone was not stationed at the Capitol. DC police put out an all-call for any available officers and he responded even though he didn’t have to. Also, he voted for Trump once.

      • Gi says:

        Am really depressed about the news coming out during the hearings, but not altogether surprised. Disgusted how Fanone & other officers were treated that day. If MAGAs treat people they supposedly revere like this (law enforcement, government, etc) god help the rest of us if they ever really get a foothold.

        Fanone may not be ideal, but I couldn’t find the info you posted about him. Do you have any links you could share?

  13. LaUnicaAngelina says:

    The chicken rap version, yo. LMAO

    • Truthiness says:

      There’s a version with the Benny Hill theme music, Yakity Sax, and a Curb your Enthusiasm version.

      • Both Sides Now says:

        Oh gawd, I have to find that!!! I remember growing up and watching Benny Hill!!! My mother raised me on British humour and he was the Master of humour!!!

  14. K-Peace says:

    I’ve had a crush on Officer Fanone since i first saw him on TV, which i think was the night of the Insurrection. He is very hot. And i respect him so much for what he went through, how he fought off the terrorists, and for how he’s spoken out against them so forcefully ever since. I hope he’s doing ok.

  15. Gil says:

    “Micropenis bitch” 😂😂 I love you Kaiser

  16. dina says:

    Not at all surprised. No fucking honour, any of these people. And yes, the officer can get it any dayyyyyyyy hellooo

  17. Courtney says:

    For the love of all that is good and holy, Democratic Party, weaponize this against Hawley and the Treason Caucus stat. You know damn well the RNC would have an ad cut within 24 hours with this footage if this were a Democrat. Democrats need to start being trolls like Republicans are but be trolls for good, not evil. John Fetterman can be your guide. You can do this!

    • Southern Fried says:

      Fetterman rules at this, it’s so fun to watch.

      • Mrs. Smith says:

        Get Fetterman on the line stat! He would love to share his suggestions for the sickest burns with this kind of material. Let’s not waste an opportunity Dems!!

    • Ponchorella says:

      Yeah, Dems need to step up their game. J6 committee is spoon feeding them tasty treats.

      • Both Sides Now says:

        Yup!!! No more niceties, it’s time to get dirty and FIGHT like hell!!! If they want to be dirty we can be DIRTY back!!! I’m tired of us being the ones that are playing nice when the bullies and liars aren’t!!!

        Let’s take them out behind the shed and teach them a lesson or three!!!

        KAISER chefs kiss 💋 for the micro-penis bitch for Hawley!!! You are doing Gods work!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  18. CJW says:

    Officer Fanone was confronted by people outside last night, they were asking him why he was at the Capital on 1/6 and if he was a real cop. I know he couldn’t but I wish he would have punched them. Another guy did defend him and pushed one of the assholes down with a flag. He whined like a little bitch.

  19. Blue Nails Betty says:

    I must be especially crochety today but Officer Fanone sounds like a misogynistic asshole. “Like a bitch”. He sounds like he’s projecting his disdain for women and equating them with Hawley’s cowardice.

    Don’t be surprised if it comes out he’s just as toxic as the magats.

    • TIFFANY says:

      He is one. He literally gave a interview about it.

      • Blue Nails Betty says:

        I just googled him. From wikipedia:

        “Fanone is divorced and has four daughters.[4] He lives in Virginia with his mother. Fanone was formerly a supporter of Donald Trump and voted for him in the 2016 United States presidential election.[3]“

        I’m sorry for the abuse he suffered from his fellow magats and I appreciate his willingness to testify and speak out against the insurrection. But his elevation to American Hero™️ is disturbing.

        On an unrelated note, he could pass for Chris Watts’ brother. I’m aware that could be affecting my opinion of him.

    • Turtledove says:

      Blue Nails Betty- I had similar thoughts re “like a *tch” On the one hand, I am sure Hawley really, really, really hates being told “he ran like a b*tch” so for that, I am semi-pleased, in an “the ends justify the means” kind of way. But I agree that it is a misogynistic way of putting it.

      Also makes me think of the female officer who testified early on, who fought in hand to hand combat for hours and did NOT run. So yeah, “ran like a b*tch” is NOT a great take, nor accurate at all.

      • Blue Nails Betty says:

        Yeah, I have to keep reminding myself the “little bitch” comment will get under Hawley’s skin. Also, regardless of how offensive it is, a lot of toxic male voters will now look down on Hawley because that phrase is now plastered on him.

        But seeing so many women in this thread try to act cool and badass by parroting the phrase is disheartening.

      • Both Sides Now says:

        My gawd she was incredibly powerful and brave!!! She is very articulate as well as brave and unapologetically strong and was an exceptional witness that day. I remember crying during her entire testimony. How she is still surviving after all this time speaks volumes as to how strong of a woman she is.

        Though, I will admit that I think women are much stronger than men, emotionally and physically. Men are incapable of enduring 10 minutes of labor, as we have seen them attempt. I am also watching The First Lady and it has opened up my eyes as to how much these previous presidents would not have been able to achieve their greatness without these fabulous women beside them, especially Eleanor and Betty.

      • Alarmjaguar says:

        @BothSidesNow there’s a great podcast about Lady Bird Johnson with never before used voice diaries she kept during her time as first lady that it sounds like you’d enjoy. Great insight into her feelings about becoming first lady so suddenly after JFK’s assassination, about how she hoped to use the office to advance environmentalism and racial equality (though it is also clear-eyed about how her strategies might have fallen short) and her role as advisor to Lyndon Johnson that has been completely overlooked by other historians. I highly recommend it – it is called In Plain Sight: Lady Bird Johnson

    • AmyB says:

      @Blue Nails Betty I think I will give Office Fanone a pass on this comment because I am sure he KNEW exactly what he was saying to get under the skin of that cowardly, immoral, and classless Josh Hawley, when he said that. Saying Fanone is as toxic as Maga….ummmm. ???

      Many Republicans voted for Trump in 2016, not fully realizing the travesty that was about to happen. He campaigned as the non-politician, and they ate it up. Don’t get me wrong, I was horrified, but I sort-of understood some of the reasoning then. I had some Republican friends/family do so. Later, when it became abundantly clear what an utter sociopath, incompetent, and ego-driven power-hungry maniac he was, that is a different story!! And many of my same Republican friends/family voted AGAINST their party in 2020 because of that shit Trump to get him out! So judging Fanone for voting for Trump in 2016 is hardly fair, IMO.

      He SHOULD be considered a HERO!!!! He almost lost his damn life defending our Capital that day, because of a domestic terrorist mob – formed and instigated by the former POS ex-President! And still today, most of the GOP party REFUSES to acknowledge the reality of Jan 6th. It is beyond grotesque.

      • Blue Nails Betty says:

        Officer Fanone voted for trump twice (that’s not in the wikipedia, he gave that info in an interview). In 2016 trump was a racist, misogynist, liar, and a sexual predator. Officer Fanone voluntarily voted for him knowing, by trump’s own words, what kind of person trump was. Then Officer Fanone voted for trump in 2020, after 4 years of trump and the Republicans literally f*cking over the entire country (even their own voters). So yes, he knew exactly who trump was when he voted for him in 2016/2020.

        Secondly, by his own words, Officer Fanone identified with the attackers until they attacked him.

        I hope this experience has shifted his perspective of who and how trump and the Republicans really are. I hope he is getting therapy to help him cope with the attacks and help him see into why he aligned with trump and Republicans in the first place.

        So no, I appreciate his testimony but I don’t consider him a hero.

      • AmyB says:

        So, Officer Fanone risking his life, trying to protect the Capital from further damage, destruction, and preventing the mob from getting to the members of Congress and the Senate in order to kill/hurt them don’t make him a hero? Got it.

        I said this before in another thread about Cassidy Hutchinson. We ALWAYS talk about MAGA as a cult. Why is it then, when someone emerges from that, like Fanone, or Hutchinson, or any of the other people who have come forward, they are still criticized for their association???? This is a brainwashing, fucking cult, NO? How about we give these people some grace and give them the credit they deserve for finally realizing the TRUTH!!!!!!

      • Blue Nails Betty says:


        I appreciate the action Officer Fanone took after he was attacked. I appreciate his testifying after he was attacked. However, his actions prior to being attacked, along with his allegiance to the white supremacists of the Republican party, contributed to the J6 insurrection. Every person who voted for trump in 2020 and/or supported trump’s Big Lie contributed to the insurrection.

        For people who now see things differently, the *least* they can do is speak up against trump and the Republicans and the J6 insurrection attempt.

        As to the cult of trump, you are correct, some people have been brainwashed into believing his lies. But most trump voters know exactly who he is and they love that he gives them permission to be terrible people. Regardless of which one a person is, they all heard his words and they happily voted for trump. They would happily vote for him in 2024.

        So, like I said before, I hope Officer Fanone is getting therapy to help him understand why his allegiance was to trump and white supremacy.

        You are entitled to your opinion about him and I am entitled to mine.

    • Valerie says:

      I’m not a fan of that kind of language either, but I’m certain it will ruffle Hawley’s feathers, and I’m all for that. It’s going to piss him off. He deserves it.

      I like Fanone, but let’s not forget, he is a former Trumper and an ex-cop. I’m glad that he’s changed his mind about some things, but I’m baffled by his support for the Republican Party at all. It’s too bad that he had to learn the hard way. I just want to know why it took nearly getting killed by his fellow supporters to change his mind.

  20. jferber says:

    Sniveling coward, poseur and asshole. Vote him out!

  21. Jaded says:

    This made my day — thanks Kaiser, he’s a pencil-dicked wuss and all I can think of is Monty Python’s “RUN AWAY!!!!”

  22. Oohnoooo says:

    Josh was running to change his diaper.

    Officer Fanone could get it, girl you got that right. Haaayyyy

  23. Alarmjaguar says:

    Man, that police officer speaking truth to power! I don’t love the term bitch, but he’s spot on with everything else-these politicians rile people up and then refuse to take responsibility for what they are actually saying (looking at you, too, Ted Cruz).

    ETA that of course my fellow celebitches (I see the irony) have articulated this way better than I did above. I should know to always read the comments first. Love you guys

  24. Valerie says:

    I don’t want to sound like Trump, but I have to call it as I see it: This guy is a big, fat, capital-L LOSER. He’s a useless excuse for a human being. Sentient sludge is better than he is.

  25. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    Run Josh! Run!

  26. jferber says:

    AmyB, yes, you speak sense and I believe you are absolutely right. Oh, yes, and Hawley IS a sanctimonious little bitch. That’s you Hawley: a little bitch forever.

  27. seaflower says:

    Someone apparently worked out how fast he ran – “Using the power of science—and some clever sleuthing about the narrow strip of hallway seen in the surveillance video released Thursday evening by the Jan. 6 committee—(SB Nation) …calculated that Hawley, 42, ran a 40-yard dash in 7.2 seconds. That’s much slower than NFL broadcaster Rich Eisen, 53, who, while also wearing a suit, ran the league’s scouting combine 40 in 6.16 seconds. For further perspective, a 7.2 would be by far the slowest NFL Combine 40-yard dash ever recorded,”

  28. Trillion says:

    As a. bitch, I am offended by the use the term here. Just kidding. What a fucking little punk ass bitch.

  29. Bisynaptic says:

    Outside Magazine’s Running Coach Analyzes Senator Josh Hawley’s January 6 Sprint. 😂😂