Scobie: Mike Tindall agreed to ‘not be tight-lipped about life inside the royal fold’

Omid Scobie was in rare form for his Yahoo UK column this week. Scobie’s focus is on Zara and Mike Tindall, the daughter and son-in-law of Princess Anne. Zara has never had a royal title, and both Zara and Mike have had successful sporting careers – Zara as an equestrian and Mike as a professional rugby player. But as we’ve seen time and again, Zara and Mike both profit from their royal-adjacency. Mike recently signed up for the new season of I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here, and the announcement was all about how he’s part of the royal family. Zara also continues to get “sponsorships” and paid gigs based off of her royal-adjacent status, like her new Musto modeling gig. This is what Scobie discusses in his column – where is the outrage for the Tindalls? As in, pretend the Sussexes were doing this and react accordingly. Some highlights from Scobie’s column:

The Tindalls are getting paid: The [Musto] campaign is part of an ongoing ambassadorship for the former Olympic equestrian Zara, rumoured to be worth £500,000 ($570,000 USD), and sits alongside some of the many big-money deals by the late Queen Elizabeth II’s granddaughter and her husband, Mike Tindall. Just a week earlier it had been revealed that Mike, who played for the England rugby team between 2001 and 2011, has accepted an offer from ITV’s reality show I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here.

Mike’s reality show gig: It’s a gig that can command up to £500,000 for big enough names, especially if the participating talent is able to guarantee network bosses the right headlines (which, in turn, result in higher ratings). During my years covering entertainment news, I remember how detailed the contracts were between contestants and production companies for shows like this, often specifically listing what revealing stories they would be able to deliver. I hear from sources that it’s been a similar scenario for Mike, who has allegedly agreed to not be tight-lipped about life inside the royal fold. It makes sense — that’s what many viewers will be tuning in for.

The royal reporters aren’t saying sh-t about the Tindalls: Cashing in on royal status is usually a trigger to dedicated royalists and media outlets, many of whom have spent the past two years complaining about the various business antics of a certain royal couple in California, so I find it peculiar that this recent news about the Tindalls’ various royal cash-ins come and go without even a sound from the most sensitive of columnists. In fact it’s been quite the opposite. A recent tabloid article went as far as celebrating the Tindall’s influencer status, tallying up over £1 million ($1.2 million) in brand deals, which include a CBD oil company and a controversial COVID-19 test results app. “They’re two of the most in-demand members of the Royal Family,” the article applauded. “…masters at signing lucrative deals.”

While Zara & Mike are legitimate sports stars, it’s still about royalty: It’s impossible to deny that the big bucks only come because of their positions as Royal Family members. A closer look at each partnership signed will show that press releases for most have made at least one royal reference and, if there isn’t, it always comes up in accompanying interviews. (It was no different when Princess Anne’s other child, Peter Philips, promoted Bright Dairies milk in China for a 2020 campaign set against palace-like visuals. He may be an accomplished businessman, but only a fool would believe the company chose him as a spokesperson because of his boardroom successes).

Scobie with some tea: Two years ago it was revealed that a Hong Kong business man had been paying Zara £100,000 ($115,000) for horse-racing advice, and the same individual had also given £300,000 ($340,000) to Sarah, Duchess of York for “marketing and promotion” activities and later attended Princess Eugenie’s wedding. You start to question whether these exchanges are just about brands or individuals trying to position themselves closer to the Royal Family. A golden ticket, if you will.

Curiously selective: The rules around sponsorships for non-working Royal Family members are equal parts confusing and selective. For the Sussexes, who are no longer in working roles or using their HRH titles, every penny received or contract signed has been heavily scrutinised by the British media. Even when the couple used their own money to become investors in a fintech asset manager, it didn’t take long for the criticism to pour in about who else might have been on the board or what companies the firm had ties with.

Protocol police: A hypocritical world in which royal protocol is rarely a real thing and usually a fictional vehicle used by tabloids to pin negative narratives on whoever it is they need hate-clicks from at the time. (Even at the Queen’s state funeral, the Sussexes were publicly lambasted for holding hands but the Tindalls, who did exactly the same, were hailed as respectful). I’m just curious how the protocol police are going to find a way to still find it respectable when the late Queen’s grandson-in-law spends three-weeks on a tawdry reality series. If the wrong colour nail polish was once able to see the resurgence of the Salem Witch Trials, surely eating raw kangaroo anus to entertain TV viewers for a cheque should result in an all out media meltdown. Right?

[From Yahoo UK]

Yes, yes and yes. I find it interesting that Scobie spoke to someone at I’m a Celebrity and Mike is apparently geared up to talk about the Windsors on-camera. So… he’s being paid to talk about the Windsors and there’s literally no backlash or commentary from the British media whatsoever? It’s not just the hypocrisy, it’s the invisible contract hard at work – the reason why the British media isn’t mad about the Tindalls is because the Windsors aren’t mad at the Tindalls. The Windsors know that, ultimately, Mike and Zara are “on the inside” and that they can fundamentally be controlled and even tasked with doing some dirty work. Harry and Meghan are not seen by the media or the Windsors as fundamentally working in the interest of the Windsors.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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68 Responses to “Scobie: Mike Tindall agreed to ‘not be tight-lipped about life inside the royal fold’”

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  1. nutella toast says:

    Tinfoil hat theory: Mike was ASKED to go on reality TV by the royals so he could spill on Harry and Meg while The Crown, Harry’s Book, and the Netflix Doc are rolling out. Everyone “knows” Mike is crazy and loose-lipped, so he’s the right person to do it. Then KP and the king and queen can shrug and say, “Not us…we looooovvveee Harry and Meg” (fingers crossed behind our backs).

    • Kaiser says:

      I agree, I think the Windsors have implanted an agenda in Tindall

      • Jan90067 says:

        Tindall has been doing this for quite a while. Can’t forget how he said he’d like to slug Harry on some podcast.

      • CocofromCanada says:

        Wasn’t there some talk of him being the royals secret weapon? Like Lady Louise etc.?

    • nutella toast says:

      Was also seriously side-eyeing them being nice-ish to Meg and Harry the last few times after Mike was so clearly a toxic William Bro – I hope they didn’t drop their guard so he could have more crap to spill and manipulate. I really, really hope they saw it for what it was.

    • ABritGuest says:

      100% agree with this theory. I saw comment from Tina Brown about how hard The Crown is for the royal family with people in the states believing it & it’s hard to know how they fight it. So when I saw news about Mike signing up to this show & Piers Morgan being his hype man I knew it was part of a palace/tabloid agenda.

      He will be spilling about how the royals are just like us with cute anecdotes whilst probably having a comment or two about how Harry has ‘changed & how family always try to help each other etc

      • Lorelei says:

        @ABritGuest, they really seem to think that ALL Americans are complete dumbfcks, don’t they? I saw another article yesterday talking about how “Americans believe The Crown is truth.” Granted we DO have our fair share of dumbfcks here, but not all of us are morons, for god’s sake. Many of us (the US audience for the show) are well aware that The Crown is fictionalized.

        But sure, keep making comments like this in the run-up to W&K’s “charm offensive” where they hope to increase their status and visibility here. 🙄

        Absolute morons running the show.

    • Colby says:

      Agree. Absolutely no way he would do this without their blessing at a bare minimum.

    • Brassy Rebel says:

      Everyone knows he doesn’t have a filter. I remember him talking about his wife giving birth to their youngest child on the bathroom floor.

    • JCallas says:

      Yes. I think there’s an understanding that Mike will only slag off Harry & Meghan while praising the rest.

    • Snuffles says:

      That a good theory. That he’s been tasked to talk shit about the Sussex’s to muddy the waters in the press so they would focus on what he says instead of what Harry and Meghan say in his book and their docu-series. And The Crown series.

      • Lady D says:

        The ‘press’ in that country will forever and always cover half their paper or more with coverage of the Sussex’s. It will never stop. WWIII could start, and still they would bitch about the colour of Meghan’s walls.

    • Seraphina says:

      I agree with this as well. As soon as I read the headline, I was like: He is going to be a walking talking PR campaign for the BaRF.

    • Sugarhere says:

      Came here to say just that, my initial thoughts exactly : Tindall is being planted there to extol the RF’s virtues from a meticulously scripted palace textbook, in a desperate attempt to tone down Harry’s oncoming book. However, since Mike isn’t exactly the sharpest knife in the kitchen, the whole scheme might backfire grotesquely.

    • Ameerah says:

      Very good point. And probably accurate. It could also be that everyone is simply cashing in after QE’s death. The wild part is that BOTH are completely plausible.

    • Ginger says:

      Agreed. And it’s also why the British press are not criticizing Mike for being on the show ( they are practically giddy) They WANT him to talk about Harry and Meghan. Mike’s job is to be awful to H&M and speak highly of the RF. He is pathetic.

      @Nutella Toast, Harry and Meghan spoke briefly with Zara at the Jubilee but Harry completely ignored Mike. It’s clear their friendship is over and he doesn’t trust him.

  2. Brassy Rebel says:

    Is he really going to get offal dumped on his head? We should have a show like this in the States so the Trumps can be on it.

  3. equality says:

    Betting that most of his talk about the RF involves slagging off on H&M and gushing about the rest. Then he will be the royalists’ hero. Peter also worked for a firm that got the contract to set up the Queen’s jubilee (not the last one the previous one). If that’s not using connections for payment, what is?

    • Eurydice says:

      I agree. I don’t think Mike has any tea to spill at all – that’s why it’s ok for him to go on that show. He’s not a danger like Harry and Meghan are. At most, he’ll be the mouthpiece for the RF and any slamming of H&M will be the same stuff we see every day. The rest will be fluff.

      • HeatherC says:

        He has whatever tea he’s told to spill, whether fact based or not.

      • Eurydice says:

        @HeatherC – sure, he’s going to be fed the appropriate stories, but also I don’t believe he actually knows anything damaging that could be spilled accidentally.

  4. C-Shell says:

    This hypocrisy is just gross. Tindall will tell some of the same stories he’s spilled before — Windsors joking about beating Harry up, family chats on WhatsApp — so we know the caliber of the insider information he’ll be blurting on this cringey reality show. *shudder*

    Between weekly Archetypes episodes and Scobie columns, we’re getting some quality timeline cleanse to offset the constant barrage of hate coming from the BM.

  5. Colby says:

    “ So… he’s being paid to talk about the Windsors and there’s literally no backlash or commentary from the British media whatsoever?”

    Flames. Flames, on the side of my face.

  6. SarahLee says:

    Why do I think the royal tea he’s supposed to spill has to do with the Sussexes? That would explain why the Windsors are ok with this.

  7. Becks1 says:

    I don’t think Mike Tindall is going on this celebrity to show to spill a lot of dirt on the Windsors. I think its about the Sussexes, particularly during the mourning period in the UK. I expect lots of “no one would even talk to them, they’re the worst” kinds of comments. That will be what gives the media the most clicks and the most mileage out of his appearance. And that’s why the Windsors and the British media aren’t really talking about it, because his appearing on the show is going to be beneficial for them.

    • Lorelei says:

      @Becks, perhaps they missed the public reaction to how the Sussexes were treated at the funeral. H&M conducted themselves respectfully and with grace, and lots of people were angry with the way they were being covered during their time there.
      But sure, let Shrek dredge it all up again on a tacky reality show. It’s exactly what I’ve come to expect from the Gold Standards.

  8. TheOriginalMia says:

    Of course, the RRs are silent about Mike. They are a bunch of hypocrites. Their outrage is solely for the Sussexes because nothing pays quite as much as Sussex rage.

  9. Snuffles says:

    “If the wrong colour nail polish was once able to see the resurgence of the Salem Witch Trials, surely eating raw kangaroo anus to entertain TV viewers for a cheque should result in an all out media meltdown. Right?”

    S Obie is on fire 🔥!

  10. lanne says:

    So, yeah, it was racism. The royals are racist motherfuckers. I hope that other media, and the Sussex Squad lay down hard on this.

    That said, Tindall is such a dummy that some of the “dirt” he reveals about the Sussexes will be things that he and the royals are “outraged” by, but the public will view differently. They are going to show their racism to the world and I don’t think they know it.

    But if you use trash to spread your message, you can’t be surprised that your message smells trashy.

  11. Dee says:

    This is the creep who has the gall to look down at Harry.

    Beyond belief.

  12. ChewieNYC says:

    Correction: Mike is going to spill “beans” about Harry and Meg. THAT is why the media is being quiet. If they stir up disgust or calls for him to not go on the show then the whole plan backfires. Also, I firmly believe his contract to go on the show was signed before the Queen passed.

  13. Amy Bee says:

    Mike Tindall’s on that show to talk about Harry and Meghan and the Queen. The press knows that and are happy for him to be on the show. I’d be shocked if he doesn’t talk about them especially Harry and Meghan.

  14. aquarius64 says:

    What’s the point to have Tragic Mike on the show? I’m A Celebrity… doesn’t wash up on US television so no global impact. The need to have the Sussexes look bad in the UK has me wondering what is the real sentiment about the monarchy. Mikey better be prepared to have his own past come back to bite him.

  15. Cessily says:

    He is perfect to represent the Royal family imo they are all racist white trash, so he is right on brand.

  16. Ameerah says:

    So Shrek gets a pass for talking about the Royal Family – a family he MARRIED into. But not Harry who is a Blood Prince? Where is all the outrage about Tindall disrespecting the Queen’s memory??

    • Moxylady says:

      These comments always give such strong Harry Potter vibes. “Harry is a blood Prince!”

  17. Chantal says:

    Another excellent article by Omid. Sure, Mikey will trash talk the Sussexes and I suspect he was promised more than just this “paying gig”. But, as the RF has proven, they can’t get out of their own way. C-Rex aka Clusterchuck will throw enough temper tantrums about some perceived affront to him or Cam that will undermine anything Mikey says. And between The Crown, Archetypes, and other Sussex projects, its doubtful that anyone besides a few will even pay attention to the rantings of Mike.

  18. Jess says:

    This is truly embarrassing but not surprising. He’s a male married-in without a title so he can do whatever he want.

  19. J. Ferber says:

    His snout-nose profile and his doughy skin are sickening (in a bad way).

  20. vertes says:

    What are Mike’s medals for? Just some decoration for marrying Anne’s daughter? Also, for someone who got plastic surgery on his nose after retiring, he could have picked something better than a little pig-snout.

    • Murphy says:

      They are jubilee medals, given by the Queen at her discretion.

      • Lady D says:

        They might be Jubilee medals, but the problem is most of the planet will see or think of them as military medals.
        All the royal men have a sash in one form or another, time to give them pins for them instead of fake military-looking medals.

    • Debbie says:

      Excuse me but THAT face has had plastic surgery? I shudder to think what he looked like before the surgery.

  21. Murphy says:

    Outside of the whole double standard thing, I don’t mind Mike doing this b/c he was a celebrity in his own right before he married Zara, and….the stuff he says is only going to embarrass Charles and William. It’s going to be crazy.

    • Therese says:

      This is a good perspective, so I thought that I don’t mind him bringing the RF profile down even lower. This is desperation. This is so stupid. And I don’t like him for snubbing Harry, a Royal Prince. Who the fuck does he think he is, royalty? I think he thinks he’s royalty now.

    • Saucy&Sassy says:

      Murphy, that’s what I was thinking, too. He might surprise us, but I have a feeling that’s he’s gonna do Mike.

      Is he very popular in the UK? It’s been some time since he played rugby and this type of a show is one that I think is perfect for him. It’s not classy and he isn’t either.

  22. tamsin says:

    No doubt in my mind either that there will be trash talk about Harry and Meghan. It seems to me that William is Mia’s godfather, and generally Harry is thought to be the god-father of the younger daughter. It that is true, it’s not a good look to build up one and trash the other. But as many have pointed out, the man is vulgar and without a filter. Who knows what else he might let slip.

  23. Jaded says:

    Given Harry’s litigious fervor of late, I think Tindall should think twice before trash-talking the Sussexes on this show. He’s sunk wayyyyy too low by happily appearing on a vulgar reality TV program and showing the world what a true bellend he is. Shilling for a milk company is one thing but this is really scraping the bottom of the barrel.

  24. booboocita says:

    Mike Tindall has never, ever, ever been what one would call a great intellect. I’m sure he’s been tutored extensively on what to say and who to slag off (Sussexes), but he lacks the smarts to remember and the self-restraint to censor himself. He’ll start by slamming H&M, then, when he doesn’t get big laffs or whatever reaction he wants, he’ll move on to slamming the Azzhole King and Queen Side Piece, the Wails, and anyone else in that family. Possibly even QE2. I can’t believe the RF is allowing him to appear on that show; it’s going to blow up in their faces. I’m buying popcorn in bulk …

  25. L4Frimaire says:

    The article made good points. The thing about the Tindalls is they do these tacky one-off gigs for easy money and no one says anything. Meanwhile the Sussexes are trying to build sustainable businesses that they can manage long-term, but they get treated like they’re hawking diet pills on informercials. They’d be a lot richer, a lot quicker if they did but they know they’re so scrutinized that they have to be very deliberate in their selections. It’s incredibly hypocritical and shows the vindictiveness towards the Sussexes. I don’t care what the Tindalls do but it does make me curious about how tight the royal purse strings are with Chuck and Will in charge, and if they have trust funds or other income.

  26. Well Wisher says:

    The Tindalls do not have international following like the Sussexes, so they will not sign enviable deals.
    Does the ownership of the media in Australia and any UK media company the same?
    That would be the big difference, especially it would not be the Guardian nor the BBC.

  27. Jean says:

    Don’t know anyone who gives two cents about these nobodies! I can never watch this show

  28. jferber says:

    I have personally never seen an uglier or more punchable face than Mike Tindall’s.

  29. blunt talker says:

    All I can say Mr.Tindall better be careful because Harry and Meghan are not shy about suing your ass. The best thing is to talk about how great the royal family is and leave it at that.

  30. Likeyoucare says:

    You know what happen when you send your dumbest soldier to fight for the king?
    They might find out on the first episode.

    BRF hire the most unqualified staffs to handle their PR. Its okay to have dumb boss but to hire staffs dumber than you..

  31. Jess says:

    Yea, I’m sure he was told he doesn’t have to be “tight-lipped” as long as he’s flappin’ his gums with praise for everyone except H & M, who I’m sure he’ll smear up and down and back up again.

  32. Robin Samuels says:

    Someone on Twitter described the Tindalls as an average working couple. A couple that doesn’t work lives on estate property and is never mentioned without a reference to their relation to Princess Anne or the Queen is undoubtedly not an average working couple.
    Mike, the rugby league champion, becomes a confirmed “inside palace source”? Wow, he’ll be famous. They will use his name in books, on television, in magazines, etc. which should be a good look for the royal family to finally give the “inside palace source” a face.
    Global interest in the royal family is waning. They’re struggling to remain relevant even though they haven’t done the work. Their “toolboxes” are empty. Boring, wealthy, out-of-date pseudo-celebrities can be viewed on primetime television anytime. Some wear tiaras and crowns, some do not; they are boring.