Michelle Obama calls daughters dating ‘wonderful, they should know what they want’

As Michelle Obama tours with her new book, The Light We Carry, we’re going to get more and more soundbites from her. I’m glad because she gives a delightful blend of weighty subjects and lighthearted. She’ll also show us a few snapshots into the Obama life without giving too much away so it never feels invasive. While speaking with Robin Roberts, Michelle gave an update on her two daughters Sasha and Malia. They are both in their early 20s and living together in Los Angeles. And, as you might imagine, they’re dating. So how is the former First Couple handling their daughters having love lives? Michelle said they’re delighted, because adult women should be allowed to pursue healthy relationships without their parents breathing down their necks.

Michelle and Barack Obama are doing just fine with their daughters dating! The former FLOTUS talked about Sasha, 21, and Malia, 24, having grown-up relationships.

“I think it’s wonderful,” Michelle tells Robin Roberts during Sunday’s special 20/20 interview. “I want them to know what they want and who they are in a relationship. And that takes trying on some people.”

As for the former POTUS, he’s reacting to it surprisingly well. “Look, they are 24 and 21,” she says. “They were in high school. They went to prom. They’ve lived life. And he’s learned how to be a concerned Black father, but not crazy.”

The Light We Carry author also shared that her girls are currently living together in Los Angeles. During her interview, the 58-year-old reveals her girls’ hosting style.

“They had prepared a charcuterie tray and tried to make two very weak martinis,” she tells Roberts. “They realized they didn’t have any of the ingredients, but they were trying to, they were hosting us. And it’s just fun, watching them become themselves.”

One thing that made Mrs. Obama laugh — Sasha and Malia’s sudden care for nice things — now that they have their own. Adding that she was “astonished” when they brought out the coasters to prevent water stains on their coffee table.

“They didn’t care about the water marks on my table in the White House, but ooh they got their coasters out,” she says. “So, you know, as you said, they were paying attention.”

[From ET]

I cannot tell you how refreshing this is to read. I loathe the “I’m going to meet my daughter’s date at the door with a baseball bat” humor/mentality. And I never understood my female friends who condone this talk either. Like b*tch, I was there – I know how you spent your youthful nights – and with whom. None of us were passing any purity tests. And why would we want to? Because to Michelle’s point, all those experiences, all those relationships and experiences, whether they were a coffee date, a casual on/off thing, a serious going-steady or a lost weekend, taught us a little more about ourselves and what we wanted from life. I love Michelle’s comments about Barack. A parent can be concerned without being crazy. Guidance does not equal control.

I laughed out loud at Michelle’s description of Sasha and Malia entertaining her parents with the too weak martinis and making them use coasters. My friend’s dad used to bring his own vodka when he came to our apartment because we couldn’t afford his brand. But the coasters felt so familiar. You’d have thought my first name was “Use a coaster!” my mother said it so often when addressing me. And yet, it comes around. I got eyes on anyone even walking by my coffee table with a beverage. I love that Michelle still shares her family with us. We’re lucky they don’t hold how cruel some of the country were to them against the rest of us.

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10 Responses to “Michelle Obama calls daughters dating ‘wonderful, they should know what they want’”

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  1. Lizzie Bathory says:

    Weak martinis! I guess Michelle likes a strong martini like I do (& don’t even try to put vodka in there–gin only).

    I swear if I were to ever put a drink down without a coaster, I’d expect my mother to pop up out of some bushes to correct me.

  2. ThatsNotOkay says:

    Adorable girls grew into two lovely, well-adjusted, intelligent ladies. They had a great upbringing. Thanks, Obamas!

  3. Twin Falls says:

    They are my parenting goals, Michelle in particular. Open communication, realistic expectations, neither overly permissive, nor overly controlling.

  4. tamsin says:

    Lovely to see Michelle and hear from her again on television. Especially love her and Barack’s appearances on late night talk shows. She was great on Stephen Colbert last night. Remember her “mom dance” routine with Jimmy Fallin? She is so fun, and entertaining as well.

  5. Jaded says:

    I’m 70 now (I can’t believe it actually) but grew up in the sixties with parents who were about as permissive as jail guards. They hated EVERY boy I dated, not that I dated a lot in high school, so when I finally moved out on my own and went to college I was terrified of men basically. My parents pounded into my head that boys were evil and only wanted one thing and my virginity was the best gift to give a man but then I got the contradictory message that marriage was wonderful and perfect and blah blah blah (even though my mother acted like she detested my dad most of the time). It took me YEARS to feel comfortable having sex, in fact I didn’t get my cherry popped until I was 22 and it was like “is that all there is?” Anyway, all that to say that the Obamas have done such a good job raising their daughters to be strong, confident, know what they want and to feel good about trying relationships on.

  6. TrixC says:

    Michelle seems like such a great parent (and just all round human being). I was a bit surprised to hear the girls are living together, no way would I have wanted to live with my sister at that age!

  7. Nicegirl says:

    Sasha 💕 Malia 💕

  8. susan m says:


  9. Otaku fairy says:

    “I want them to know what they want and who they are in a relationship. And that takes trying on some people.” This, even if that comes with regrets and hard times. If the goal is really equality and we want everybody being truthful about their experiences, as a culture we’ve got to stop running back to the church every time things don’t work out for certain groups of people. Every hardship, regret, or change of mind from a woman or queer person can’t be met with calls for a return to “Family Values” or with people setting themselves up as poor, innocent, heroic, disrespected elders who were right in their toxicity all along.