Stock photo credit: Letticia Massari on pexels
Being in labor is one of the most vulnerable times in a woman’s life. Pregnancy and childbirth are a huge risk to women’s health, and Black women are 3.5 times more likely to die of childbirth complications than white women. There’s surely a much higher disparity and overall maternal death rate now that abortion services are being restricted in so many states. That’s all preface to this story about nurses in the maternity ward of Emory University Hospital posting a TikTok about their “icks” from patients. The examples they gave were all pretty benign requests and part of doing their job. They’ve since deleted it but it’s been downloaded and shared. As a result they’ve been fired presumably – Emory University issued a statement saying the remarks did not reflect their core values and that they’ve “taken appropriate action with the former employees.”
In a TikTok video last week, four employees wearing nurse scrubs at an Atlanta hospital revealed their “icks” regarding labor and delivery patients.
“My ick is when you come in for your induction,” a nurse began the video, “talking about, ‘Can I take a shower and eat?’”
“My ick is when you ask me how much the baby weighs,” another nurse followed, “and it’s still … in your hands.”
The TikTok trend, which started at least two years ago, usually has users expose their dating turnoffs, such as bad hygiene or arrogance. But the health-care workers at Emory University Hospital Midtown crossed a line when they made the “icks” video about their patients’ behavior, according to their employer, Emory Healthcare.
In a statement posted online Thursday, after the video received much online backlash, Emory Healthcare wrote that it had “taken appropriate action with the former employees responsible for the video.”
“This video does not represent our commitment to patient- and family-centered care and falls far short of the values and standards we expect every member of our team to hold and demonstrate,” the statement continued.
Emory Healthcare did not respond Sunday night to a request from The Washington Post seeking clarification on whether the workers had been fired or left on their own accord.
While the original 52-second video has been deleted, copies have spread across social media in the past week, prompting comments from some pregnant patients who said the nurses’ remarks only amplified their anxiety about childbirth.
I’ve posted a segment of the video below. How is it an “ick” to ask to take a shower and to eat before an induction? Even with insurance it costs an average of $2,854 to have a baby in a hospital. It’s a very basic service to ask for and they’re paying thousands for it! Women have so many things to do to prepare for childbirth and this is just a small amount of help they’re requesting. Nurses have hard jobs sure, but it’s literally their job to make sure patients are comfortable and taken care of. How heartless are these nurses? It’s traumatic to have a baby so of course you’re going to get confused and ask dumb questions like how much the baby weighs when you’re holding it. I look for my glasses when they’re on my head all the time. Family members go to the nurses station to ask for things because they don’t want the nurses to have to get up. They think they’re helping. The only real “ick” in that video is the one where there was a guy on the maternity ward who had two partners in labor at the same time.
Also, I’ll never forget talking to an old acquaintance who became a nurse and having her tell me horribly demeaning stories about patients, like the worst most ridiculous stories. It just made me think that she’s a trash person who hates her job and is terrible at it. All of these nurses are in the wrong profession. Emory needs to examine the culture at their hospital that made these nurses think that 1) any of these things were more than normal requests from patients and 2) that it was OK to post this. Sadly, several women have posted that they’ve lost babies and have had bad experiences at Emory with those same nurses. These attitudes don’t just make laboring women uncomfortable, they put them and their babies at risk.
this is crazy bc this is quite literally the same hospital that sent me home with undiagnosed postpartum preeclampsia I was complaining about chest pain & all types of symptoms that signaled something was wrong & they labeled me a hypochondriac until I was admitted into the ER https://t.co/xcd1gV0kBC
— MS. GOOD IF YA NASTY (@taurobruja) December 10, 2022
Want to know something crazy? These are the nurses where my baby was delivered. I had a terrible experience. At one point, mom ran out for help because I was in pain, they said “Ok. Anyways…” and continued their conversation. That’s something my mother never forgot. https://t.co/HFNihx6Cau
— Essy (@essyprive) December 10, 2022
I don’t understand why you would become a nurse in l&d if you don’t like pregnant patients???
Im glad they were fired. Hopefully they find careers that don’t deal with such a vulnerable part of the population.
I echo your sentiments CB, if I hear someone complaining like this, I think less of them, rather than thinking their patients are a nightmare. I mean, some are, but not for asking for basic things, particularly after going through something as difficult as birth. Sheesh
Fired by one hospital doesn’t mean they won’t still be nurses. They will just be spreading their ick factor elsewhere.
Won’t they have to disclose the reason why they were terminated from their previous job?
There is a critical nursing shortage so I’m sure they will have no problem finding a job.
@Tanguerita Not necessarily. HR contacts the last HR and pretty much all they’re allowed to ask is if the person was fired or resigned. That is why review of nursing licenses and background checks, including social media profiles, are routinely performed by HR. Another way to continue working is by ‘traveling’ where you work for a staffing company but fulfill 13 week contracts at hospitals around the country. The only way they will exit the nursing profession over this will be 1. By choice 2. If they lose their licenses.
ok, thanks for the information. I wonder if HR discover their notoriety once they apply for another job. Their faces (but yes, not names) are all over the internet.
This exactly. I work in healthcare and I love my job and taking care of patients. I don’t understand why anyone would choose the field if they clearly hate it. Sure I have bad days and sometimes rude people, but I would never see them as a burden for asking simple questions. I sometimes work with people like that, who have nothing but drama and misery to spread and I’m just like why are you here?!? Go do something else.
Same with my daughters high school admin office, they are always in a bad mood and treat children and parents like shit, I’m dying to ask them why they work in a high school when they clearly hate children! They intimidate me anytime I have to go in there, I can’t imagine how hard it is for the kids to deal with.
You might want to express those concerns to the district superintendent.
I don’t do TikTok, so is this a thing where “Ick” is supposed to be something gross, or is “ick” something you consider to be a dumb question? I’m not getting why somebody asking for water or a blanket would be considered “icky,” and patients wouldn’t necessarily know that you can’t eat because you could potentially need surgery and anesthesia if something goes terribly wrong with your delivery.
I know, right? When I first heard that, I thought they would tell humiliating body or bodily functions things that grossed them out. So this wasn’t really as bad as I thought it would be, but then, I went and watched the whole thing. Just really, really inappropriate. Heartbreaking to think that people you have to trust could be so nasty
On TT, “an ick” is just something you don’t like about a person or situation or in general.
For example, my list of icks include: heights, hot weather, when people are habitually late…not necessarily things that are gross. Does that make sense?
“It’s such an ick….” in the context of this video, sounds incredibly high school mean girl.
To me it sounds just stupid, immature, futile and infantile.
@Frippery and Desdemona – Yes it is all those things for sure.
That was my first thought too. How is not knowing something medical or asking to take a shower “icky”? It was kind of a relief that they weren’t commenting on patients’ bodies or medical matters. But they are still ick!
Ick.
I wonder if nurses, who kind of see all these things all the time with people’s bodies, get kind of desensitized to it and don’t realize how it comes off to non-nurse people?
I worked in a high stress, overworked environment and our team made some dark jokes to deal with the stress and the heaviness of it. I was kind of aware that people outside our industry would likely not get it.
I was an ER nurse. This shit is tame. I’m not defending them…but this shit is tame. You absolutely get desensitized.
My mom was an ER nurse. The stories she could tell were way beyond “Ick”.
The stories my mom would tell coming home from her l & d shifts were about barely pubescent girls giving birth when they weren’t sure how they got pregnant. The ick was the abuse these girls experienced.
I heard once that people join healing professions to solve problems or to give care. There’s also a third reason, to gain control over people and situations. This could also be burnout, which results in nurses dehumanizing patients, but if I had a dollar for every mean girl I knew who became a nurse, I’d be wiping my a$$ with $20s 😂 It’s a steady job where you can boss people around, perfect for those who crave power 🙄
This is a nothingburger. People outside of medicine have no idea how horrible it is these days. They shouldn’t have put it on the internet, but my god- do you have any idea how awful patients can be to nursing and staff these days? How demanding and entitled and cruel and abusive?
There are annoying things about every industry. But they shouldn’t have aired it on the internet. That was the mistake.
Most staff I know have these thoughts and more. Sorry. But true.
I’m in healthcare and it is very stressful but our job is to help people feel better. Theses patients are at their most vulnerable and to even think of making these stupid tic toc videos is so immature and high school. Grow up and choose a different profession or keep your thoughts to yourself. I’ve been in labor and asking about when I can eat and shower sounds normal to me.
Thank you @Fabiola. What’s ick ick to me is the idea of people who’ve I put my trust and vulnerabilities to mocking me at my weakest. I imagine you as one of the beautiful nurses I hold in my heart during my experience of giving birth. The nurses that held me carefully and shared sympathetic words while I was worried that my diarrhea or puke would trickle down to my baby. Those beautiful ladies comforted, assured me that I would be clean when the time came. One told me that her daughter-in-law went through the same things a few weeks before and my worries/thoughts were completely normal and everything would be okay. Thank you again @Fabiola.
To this day, I give more credit & appreciation to the wonderful nurses than my obstetrician who sauntered in at the last minute.
They showed their work he got the credit.
Fully agree. Former critical care nurse. And a crap ton of gallows humor, but it was situational, and never at patient expense, because that shit is disgusting.
I’m in nursing school now and I think what you said is a big part of it. For sure there are units and even whole hospitals where the culture is off, and that can have a very negative impact on patient care though. But even a good nurse on a good unit who cares deeply for her patients is going to have the minor gripes about her job just like anyone else does PLUS the occasional traumatizing incident. The difference is that a good nurse blows off steam in private, and a bad one does it on tiktok.
Before everyone jumps all over me, I’m NOT defending these nurses. Going off the patient reports it sounds like the culture on that unit was toxic.
There are so many weird things. I remember when I was in pre-op for some eye surgery, overhearing a patient the bay next to me. The nurse was double checking, “have you eaten anything this morning?” and the patient replied, “No, I only had some scrambled eggs and bacon, hash browns and toast…oh, and some juice and coffee.”
But you don’t run and post these things on SM.
100%. People in healthcare get desensitized FAST, because it’s the only way to cope. We are all so very burned out for a variety of reasons- low staffing, rude patients/families, increasing violence in healthcare workplaces, the list goes on. OF COURSE those nurses should never have recorded a video and posted it online- that’s just dumb. But it’s certainly well within the norm for letting off steam behind the scenes. I try to always treat my patients with compassion, but I definitely feel where these nurses are coming from. Still shouldn’t have posted it, though.
I’ve done lots of temping in my day and my two weeks in a hospital was the most toxic shit I’ve ever seen. Every person I encountered was pretty much suck up to anyone with more power, shit on anyone lower in the hierarchy.
I had a roommate who was a hospital nurse. She hated the people she worked with, but the way hospitals work, shift assignments are done in order of seniority. A bunch of people got hired right after she did, so she had pretty high seniority and could pretty much pick her shift. If she went to work anywhere else, she’d have no control over her hours for possibly several years. This really does leave people feeling like they are locked into where they are. In a different job, she would just ask for a transfer, but in a hospital, just moving to a different ward or floor may come at the cost of your seniority.
Not a nurse, but I am in law enforcement in New Zealand, for 30 years. Same kind of dynamic where the job de-sensitises you to all kinds of things and you learn to detach. I’m acutely aware that my judgement on what’s shocking or disturbing is calibrated differently to ‘normal’ people, so make sure to not hold other people to the same standards and keep my mouth shut with things that could be upsetting.
I found the video mean because their complaints were so ridiculous. You’re annoyed over a patient wanting to eat and shower before an induction? Once in the bed, it could be 2 days before another shower happens, or longer. I can’t help but think about my own visit to the hospital with my first child and how freaked out and scared I was. It was the most vulnerable I’ve ever been. But the nurses I had were sweet and comforting and obviously liked their jobs. These women are in the wrong profession for sure.
Right? I can understand complaining about patients who are nasty to you or something, but all this seems like…regular stuff?
When I had my only child I had one lovely nurse who unfortunately went off-shift early in my labor, leaving me with two awful nurses. One of them rolled her eyes when I said I wanted to try laboring without meds. When I finally got to the point where I wanted the epidural, their anesthesiologist was in back-to-back emergency surgeries, so I couldn’t get one. I ended up screaming in pain and this nurse came in and said “You had your chance to get the epidural” – a few minutes later she came in and scolded me for screaming, saying, “Stop it – you’re going to scare the other mommies!” I wasn’t screaming because I wanted to, for heaven’s sake – I tried not to but I couldn’t help it. (I’d had Pitocin induction and ended up dilating 6 cm in less than an hour. The hardest part of labor is usually only 2 cm in one hour. So yeah. It really f’ing hurt. But for months afterward, I felt absolute crawling shame that apparently I hadn’t done labor “right” and wasn’t tough enough.) Then when it came time for the actual birth, the other nurse came in and just stood next to the head of the bed silently. Didn’t encourage me, didn’t hold my hand, didn’t tell me what was going on or what to do. In tears, I asked her, “Am I supposed to be pushing now?” and she shrugged and said, “If you want.”
Having a baby, especially your first baby, is just really stressful and scary and confusing (yes, even if you’ve had childbirth classes). If nurses aren’t willing to be kind, accommodating, and comforting – even when they’re having a stressful day themselves – they should find another line of work. Because people giving birth can end up with major and ongoing trauma from this kind of maltreatment. Not to mention ending up with birth complications because they’re afraid to speak up about their concerns/symptoms to nurses who keep criticizing, ignoring, or belittling them.
Omg I’m so sorry you experienced that. That’s just absolutely awful and unnecessary. Bug hug from me to you.
I also totally agree with your last paragraph, especially about women being scared of speaking up because you don’t want the wrath of a nasty nurse or doctor upon you and harm can come to you and your baby for a lifetime, whether it be mental or physical. I’ve had a few babies and one was a traumatic birth, emergency c section while I was under general and I still have issues almost 10 years later mentally even though the nursing during that birth was great. But you can definitely feel the energy and vibe of the health care workers when they walk in the room. I’ve never had a super nice kind healthcare worker turn nasty in the middle of my care, the few bad ones I’ve had came in the room with attitude and I could immediately feel a shift in energy and knew they were not going to be pleasant.
I was my sister’s labor coach and the overnight nurse refused to wake up the anesthesiologist to refill her epidural, saying she didn’t need it. Except she did because she could move her legs which she couldn’t do before. I marched to the desk area where all the nurses were chatting and demanded that someone call the anesthesiologist because my sister specifically requested an epidural and it had worn off or whatever. One nurse did wake up the dude but it was too late for it to work.
On the other hand my nurse was beyond amazing and pretty much delivered my son by herself. She did tell me to stop pushing at one point (my OB was taking forever to walk across the breezeway to L&D) and I just wailed “I cannnnnt”
I was told that my induction might take a 2 or 3 days. (I turned out to be only one.) And the hospital told me I couldn’t eat in case I needed to be put under general anesthetic. I’m like what do you mean — I can’t eat anything at all for several days?!? How is this good for a laboring mom to go hungry for days? I was finally allowed to get a sandwich about 8 hours into my induction, but only after I signed a waiver that I couldn’t sue if I choked on my vomit. I understand many hospitals have modified these rules in the 15 years since my kid was born….
Let me guess. Probably most of these “icky” patients were Black and the nurses were White. I’m just speculating.
No, most of the nurses were black. There was only one white nurse in the video, and she only said one thing.
No one mentioned the race or ethnicity of the patients.
I can’t speak for the patients, but all but 1 of the nurses in the video appear to be black.
Obviously, I didn’t watch the video. My bad.
Lmfao!
Ugh, there’s enough bad stuff in the world without inventing more that never happened. Check your bias there!
After 35 yrs in the medical field, this type of behavior is well known to me and it’s abhorrent. People attempt to justify this by calling it “venting” and, yes, we do have a reputation for what is considered inappropriate humor as a coping mechanism (an if I don’t laugh about it, I’ll cry type thing), but their behavior was inexcusable. A lot of remarks (from what I’ve seen or read) are due to immaturity. Add in the social media factor that makes people feel as if they have to comment or strive for “likes” and boom! We all feel frustrations in our jobs, but compassion cannot be taught…it is learned. Tbh, I became more compassionate as my time spent caring for others continued and hopefully the same will occur here. With the critical nursing shortage, they will continue to be nurses unless their licenses are revoked so I’m hoping for personal growth and accountability. People matter. Their needs matter. You matter. And you can make a real difference in this world. Once you learn this, the medical field becomes a lovely place to work.
Well said. I’m an attorney who works with clients who are often going through difficult times in their lives. I’ve had many clients & newer coworkers who are fearful of asking “dumb” questions. My response is always, “if you knew all of this stuff already, I’d be out of a job.”
Being compassionate isn’t just the right thing to do–it makes all those interactions easier. Because even if a stressed out client never softens towards me (it’s fine, we don’t need to be friends), I can manage better if I can empathize with them.
Thank you and your last sentence makes a very good point…it IS easier if we can emphasize. Those who only see one side of an experience don’t understand how much a person has to give of themselves to care for and about others. I truly hope those young people learn something from this.
Not to mention the benefit to the clients. It’s not difficult to JUST BE KIND.
I found their video to be ICK and their total lack of empathy and professionalism to be ick. wat I truly find ICK is that these are all WOMEN who made fun of women during a time when care and understanding and support is needed. Shame on them.
I know I wasn’t in the right state of mind with my kids and I am SURE I said something stupid or may have not been as pleasant as I would be normally.
I’ve never had children, but the baby weight question seems entirely reasonable to me. First of all, how many people can hold something in their hands and accurately know if it’s 5 or 6 or 7 lbs?
Second, birth weight is a significant health indicator, is it not? Of course a parent would want some reassurance there.
Third, actual numbers (down to the ounce) are pretty much always part of what is shared when people are announcing the birth.
Seems like the nurses were just being dingleberries.
I think the weight question was bc the mom was holding the baby, not the nurse. So the nurse didn’t know how much the baby weighed bc she didn’t have the baby to weigh.
It just sounds like a question that a mom might ask after a very exhausting experience without really thinking, like the whole glasses-on-top-of-your-head thing that Hecate referenced. It’s not “ick,” its a new mom being exhausted and excited and not thinking clearly.
I’m sure the mom was just exhausted and confused or not communicating well. It could just have been her way of asking, “hey, can you take my baby and weigh them?”
It really didn’t warrant a video complaining about the request!
To me, the shower and food comment says that the patients were not properly educated or informed of what was involved in an induction, which is not their fault. I was not induced, but I was scheduled for one, and it was very clear – time limits on eating, all that kind of stuff – before I ever got to the hospital. Maybe these were last minute inductions or something, and the mom was panicking/stressed, which would make more sense then.
If you’re going to vent, even in a way that others might find inappropriate, don’t do it on social media FFS. I’m glad the nurses were fired.
As a full disclaimer I’m an Emory alum and i know several people who work at that hospital, so now I’m wondering what is on their social media…..
Re: the eat and shower complaint. I and my sister are both RNs. In a large inner city hospital it happens often enough that a woman who is being admitted to labor and delivery will give the address of a shelter when asked where she lives. Yes, there are showers in shelters but she may have been there only a very short time. Also, the instability of her living situation coupled with the anxiety of childbirth makes things rather hectic, so a meal and shower might have seemed trivial at a time when she’s dealing with tying up loose ends like finding childcare for her other kids. She may just conclude, “Well, I’ll just get a shower and some food at the hospital.”
As far as a planned induction, yes patients are given teaching and written instructions so they know what to expect. But its possible that the mother is very young or has no support system, or maybe cannot read.
I’m not going to defend these nurses this entire video was wrong and there is a problem with healthcare workers using social media as a platform to complain when this should be kept in a therapists office. I will say after two years of Covid the entire industry is burned out and over stretched and despite how much compassion you have that starts to wear thin too. You might want to rush to say these women shouldn’t be nurses but if you don’t work in health care it’s hard to understand we’re human and need to vent….but this was the wrong place and incredibly immature of them. Hospitals need to do a better job of promoting avenues for mental health care and providing insurance coverage for unlimited therapy visits.
100% agreed.
^this. over 2 years of high stress, short-staffing, over-working and being the face for a lot of patients yelling at you/telling you things like covid isn’t real or you’re lying and you’re just supposed to take it have fundamentally changed the culture of healthcare workers. way more burnout, unhappiness, stress and lack of job satisfaction. it also doesnt help when there’s an active war against science/medicine for the last 2 years where people no longer trust healthcare workers. everyone needs therapy, but healthcare workers in particular. i’m not going to defend these nurses bc there’s a huge breach of professionalism, but this is 100% the type of dark/bad humor that healthcare workers employ to deal with/vent to each other.
The problem is medicine is a BUSINESS in the US, and hospitals/healthcare networks will do the bare minimum and capitalize on every. single. ounce of empathy from their healthcare workers before putting in more resources to help them. there’s a reason why most academic hospitals are run by trainee nurses and doctors who are paid the equivalent of min wage based on the amt of hours they work.
Dark humor about one’s profession is fine. It should be KEPT between the nurses themselves and off social media. But also – if you are talking about your patients like this even amongst yourselves perhaps it’s time to switch professions.
If these nurses did not know better than to avoid making this video then I wonder that they were smart or knowledgeable enough to pass the licensure exam.
People are just beginning to relax and smile again on a routine basis after Covid’s worst era. It’s good to see. Also, I 100% agree with what you said.
I work in healthcare and I agree with everything you said about the burnout and needing therapy. It’s the putting it on social media and calling it “ick” that’s the problem for me. That’s not venting, that’s being passive aggressive and offensive.
I am in education, and am totally right there with burnout and crap mental health, but you vent to each other, not tik tok.
Absolutely exactly this.
100% correct. My mother was an L&D nurse and she would sometimes complain about some of the patients, but she would be devastated if something went wrong and would cry her heart out for the patients, too. Disclosure that my youngest sister is also an RN. They’re humans, they need(ed) to vent and use dark humor sometimes to maintain their own emotional equilibrium and move on to care for the next patient. It’s the social media aspect of this that’s totally stupid. I imagine most of them feel regret and know what they did wrong, and feel badly about it. At least I’m going to choose to believe that.
@Laura
Ahahahaha an insurance policy having unlimited therapy visits……
I agree, it would be lovely.
But also there’s the culture of pretending that healthcare providers don’t need mental health care. Just like pretending it’s possible to keep yourself alert and high functioning after working the whole day then through the night too.
Shockingly my current hospitals insurance does cover all my visits (I pay for the more expensive plan though) I check in once a week with a therapist because I work in a high stress area of medicine dealing with sudden life and death situations frequently and work rotating shifts (switching jobs soon to eliminate the rotation however and can’t wait)
I’m with you. So many people are so quick to dismiss these women completely over this video. It was wrong, firing them was a no-brainer, but telling them to leave the field over these comments is an overreaction as are the comments about it being heartless and cruel. I was ready to hear some super personal, awful “icks” and these just seem so bland and dumb. The abuse nurses get is off the charts as are are the hours they’ve worked these last few years. Maybe it’s our care and compassion that could use some retuning.
A college acquaintance who is now a pediatrician used to complain about her patients and/or their parents on her Facebook account, with her real name. I kept thinking “this will come back to haunt her.” At some point she changed her Facebook name slightly and stopped talking about work at all. I’ve always wondered how the crap hit the fan for her. It’s not the venting that’s the problem, it’s the forum she chose.
I couldn’t believe the callousness and meanness of the video. I know that being a nurse is incredibly difficult work but this was just awful.
I think everyone has hit the nail on the head.
It’s tough work. Pandemic has made it worse. Compassion fatigue is a thing.
I worked in hospital, during the pandemic. I quit without another job lined up because I was exhausted and I knew my fatigue was going to end up causing a huge mistake or worse. I removed myself from the situation because all my training had taught me to recognise your own boundaries and well-being well enough to know when you’re not capable of being fully present and functioning.
Somehow, I ended up working in regulation/public protection, and at the end of the day, if they feel something like this is appropriate to do, it’s better the industry loses them. I don’t think they’ll choose not to be nurses, but I’m hopeful they’ll find a career that better suits them.
Also, f*ck the Tories for absolutely hitting the NHS, I’m genuinely terrified of it becoming more and more privatised
The more nurses post on TikTok, the less I feel comfortable ever having to go to the hospital. They are truly coming across as power tripping, mean girl, bullies.
They do have a reputation for being super mean, women and male nurses alike.
I side eye nurses, teachers and cops because there’s at least a 1:3 chance they’re an authoritarian who gets gratification from having power over people. The problem is that society can’t function without someone filling those roles, so we need to get a lot better at screening and removal.
where are those stats coming from? there are lousy people in every profession, but your “stats” about teachers and nurses seems incredible to me. Confirmation bias/observer bias is real and our current political climate shows just how dangerous those biases are when they become “truths” for so many people. would love to know your source.
Depends where you are. There’s something dangerously wrong with the recruitment and training for US cops, you’re supposed to filter out the spree killers, white supremacists and power freaks, not preferentially select them.
Totally different methods elsewhere. I’m most familiar with New Zealand, where the recruitment standards prioritise things like empathy and the ability to get along with a wide variety of people. They aim to weed out anybody who’s too rigid and authoritarian. The occasional power freak slips through, but for the most part it works. Helps to not be armed, too. Odds are that the person you’re dealing with isn’t armed either, so all the incentives are to go in low-key and friendly, and not escalate.
This is especially worrisome given the massive audience the freebirth/crunchy cult has on Tiktok. They target vulnerable people looking for someone to say “I get it, and your experience matters”. This provides fuel to their garbage fire.Giving birth is so incredibly vulnerable, and has so much potential to be traumatic. The current system, where we’re told by much of society that it doesn’t matter what happens, “as long as you’re healthy” is set up to perpetuate trauma. I had an objectively traumatic birth in a lot of ways, but the doctor and midwives and nurses who upheld my birth plan and treated me with kindness made it an overall positive experience and I look back on it (and them) fondly. If I saw something like this from my nurses, even if I didn’t say any of those things, I’d be horrified and immediately self-conscious that I was annoying them and they were making fun of me.
It is such a whirlwind after your baby is out. Like you almost collapse with relief, then you’ve got to deliver your placenta and get stitches and a baby is being shoved at you to be put on the breast immediately. It doesn’t surprise me that a woman may have thought the baby had already been weighed before handed to her. Or asking because she wanted the nurse to weigh the baby.
Or assume a l&d nurse can pretty much tell the weight of a baby by looking at it. Knowing me, if I had the job, I’d be guessing the weight and then seeing how close I was when I weighed it.
Good point. My dr likes to guess and after 30 years he was only 2 oz off.
Right?! Or maybe the mom previously had a low birth weight with another birth and been extra concerned about it. Like, do I get to take this baby home?
I have seen this in many professions. I.T. workers do it. Auto mechanics do it. You have to remember, you were trained to do this service, the people you are serving are not.
Yeah everyone bitc#s and vents just do it in private. Also they spelled edition as Addition, how dumb are they?
What a monumental betrayal of trust. So little empathy for a fellow woman. Being in labor is one of the most painful, confusing, emotional, scary, frustrating experiences. We shouldn’t have to also worry that the nurses are making fun of us behind our backs. Ugh.
When will people get tired of being terminated for posting in TikTok?
It should be common sense not to post anything about your job on social media.
Anything you post will follow you fit the rest of your life.
So don’t moan and bitch with it comes back to bite you in the…. butt.
That’s what I don’t get, how did they not think “hmm, posting this online might be a bad idea?”
Everyone vents about their job, and I can’t imagine the stress and exhaustion involved in being a nurse, especially after the last few years. But you bitch to each other, not the world. I vent about clients and contractors and all, but I would NEVER put it on video and post it for the world to see.
This is so terrifying. Imagine being at your most vulnerable, having your baby, seeing this on the internets and then making the connection with the dismissive treatment you received from these women.
How they ever thought this was acceptable is amazing to me. Disgusting.
Let this serve as a warning to the other medical professional, psychologists, social workers, teachers, lawyers and people in positions of trust.
Not everything needs to go on the internet for clout.
Ask as many “stupid” questions about your health, your baby’s health, your loved one’s health, etc. Be ick all day long. A person should never feel afraid to speak up to a healthcare professional because they don’t want to feel humiliated or embarrassed by a m-f-ing TikTok video later.
Again,
Speak Up if You Have A Question. Speak Up if You Think Something is Wrong.
Yes. That’s the sad thing about this video. It will make women more reluctant to ask questions about their medical care and there is already too much of that hesitancy.
As a former nurse, I can tell you the most important thing is to have kindness and compassion. If you do not have it, then you should not be a nurse. Oh, and work stays off of social media, just saying…..
I post ZERO about my work/job on social media. I think I made one post one time, years ago, but that’s it. I vent off-line, whatever you post is forever and follows you.
Having a baby, especially if it’s your first, can be quite overwhelming, stressful and confusing. I’m sure I asked a lot of “dumb” questions when I had my first, probably even my second. Thankfully that was before social media.
This type of thing is one of the reasons I had my children at home. As a woc who spent most of my life pre marriage/motherhood in poverty I knew how I’d be treated by staff. I know most of the nurses in the video were black but that doesn’t mean they aren’t classist or judgy about single moms, young moms, etc. I used a midwife who had delivered other members of my family and worked with marginalized communities. I was in my own home, felt comfortable, relaxed, and empowered to listen to my body. I know it was a risk but I was young, healthy, and very suspicious of institutional authority.
Is the issue about the question asking how much a baby weighs when you’re holding it is that they haven’t had a chance to weigh it? Because otherwise I don’t think I could tell the difference between 7 – 9 -11 lbs.
I need to talk to my daughter about this incident. She’s a doula who works at all phases of pregnancy and childbirth as well as postpartum and infant care. She’s about the start nursing school in a month so she can go on to get her midwifery degree.
I don’t think she will really understand the world of stress she’s about to enter until she’s actually in it. She’s attended births at a numerous hospitals in NYC already, but there’s a difference between being there as a privately hired doula and being there as a nurse, which she will have to do for a while. I’m glad she at least has some preparation under her belt.
I understand the nurses’ need to vent as a coping mechanism for stress and exhaustion. Putting it on social media was incredibly thoughtless on so many levels, though.
As far as them being fired, I get it. You can’t let that kind of behavior slide. But as big a mistake as it was, I don’t want to see them lose their livelihood, so I hope they can find work elsewhere. Hopefully they’ve learned an important lesson.
The nurses in my daughter’s delivery were awful. They made it traumatizing for her. It was similar for my sister.
I hate this so much. These women do this work every day, but a lot of these women have never had a child before and it’s a huge, scary process. Show a little compassion and support if they don’t know how the entire process works from the hospital perspective. Jesus.
Nursing collects mean girls that want to have control over other people and a space to practice their cruelty in the same way that police forces collect bullies.
I am not surprised by their attitudes in the slightest. There is widespread derision towards patients and it’s part of nursing culture for sure. This is not the only hospital and only department that is affected.
Well, half my family are nurses or retired nurses and they are not those people at all. I think it also collects people with a calling to care and serve, although hospital culture is so focused on profits it tends to bleed people dry, so maybe things have changed. I know they’ve driven out some very good people.
What’s ick is a woman going in to very very very early labor with potentially fatal complications and the hospital staff not knowing when they are allowed to try and save her.
What’s ick is babies born with drugs in their system.
What’s ick is abusive or controlling partners as part of the birthing process.
What’s ick is 10 year olds giving birth.
What’s ick is people spitting at or physically attacking hospital staff over safety regulations.
What’s ick is people having babies who don’t have homes to go back to, who don’t have food or stable situations and not being able to do more to help them.
What’s ick is the babies that are lost, and the mother’s that are lost.
If the biggest gripe you’ve got about your job in healthcare is patients not understanding pre-surgical instructions or not realizing you haven’t weighed their baby yet, AND if you are so twisted up about it that you feel fine making a public TikTok about it, touch some fucking grass, please.
Kim, there’s people that are dying. Literally.
I have tremendous respect for the level of care nurses provide. Saw the headline about these nurses yesterday. Skipped reading It – didn’t feel like swimming in their stupidity pool.
Reading it here today is mortifying on so many levels. First off Kaiser, as always, thank you for pointing out cultural disparities. In this case Black women experiencing 3.5 times higher mortality rates related to child birth. As a Black woman seeing these mostly Black nurses making these comments at Emory in the ATL, where a large part of patients are most likely Black, is alarming. Were they paying attention to the vulnerability of this population?
Now Emory’s former patients are sharing experiences such as undiagnosed postpartum preeclampsia. Was this case negligence? Wonder if anyone will begin exploring legal actions after this ‘ick’ Tok. Also should Emory circle back for deep dives? Internal reviews of complicated births that these particular nurses were involved in?
If this made you surprised you’re privileged af.
Chronically ill patients who have to deal with several doctors, specialists and nurses can all attest to the medical field being FILLED with people who have have low empathy and HIGH ego’s.
The biggest lie in your life is that you’ll get the help you need and be treated with respect as a patient.
The good doctors and nurses are miiiiiiles away from each other.
This is a conversation with so many layers. My last hospital stay was a horror show. I happen to live in Texas so I assure you, there’s no legal recourse. But yes, those nurses should’ve been fired for that. Those aren’t icks, they are the JOB. I had to lay in blood and filth for five days because I suppose my icks surpassed attention. Healthcare, all of it, needs serious magnification. Top to bottom.
If blood and filth are your icks, you have no business working in healthcare. Sorry you had to go through that, Mabs.
this tik tok was mean spirited. i had my daughter 20 months ago and I still have anxiety over a nurse who treated me horribly after i had my daughter at 22 weeks gestation. she was in the NICU fighting for her life. because of covid i was alone and that nurse pretty mych abused me and made me feel lije garbage. They should be fired and I hope they learn from this. my daughter is fine and a joy to my life. but that nurse poisoned a bit of that joy.
My delivery was 31k. That was in 2004 in chicago. Insurance paid most of it.
Im also a nurse. Wtf is wrong with people going online in full scrub and badge gear posting what they dont like about patients!!!! They should be fired for lack of common sense if nothing else. The stupidity.
Unprofessional! Unkind, Unneeded.
Even with the nursing shortage, this is not proper.
Ask yourself, if this was happening to your loved one would you tolerate it?
Blow off stress in private.
IRL, I know a company that has 2 full time IT people who monitor employees and people applying for employment SM accounts.
It is amazing to me what some people think is private, it’s not and some of it never goes away either if you have IT skills.
Those nurses were being truly disgusting, glad they were fired. Emory’s main original hospital has a great reputation but it doesn’t have a maternity ward: they recently acquired this other hospital previously called DeKalb Medical that has a big labor and delivery department. I did a six week rotation as a student there, and it was not run well. Bad attitudes like those ticktock nurses permeates the place. I hope it’s a wake up call for Emory that they just can’t put their name on the outside of the building and expect the culture to match the quality of the main hospital.
The callousness of the nurses remind me when I was going to see my sister in labor at St Vincent’s in NYC before it was shut down. As I was getting out of the elevator I heard a woman screaming, it sounded like my sister so as I was looking for her room I heard some nurses saying what a drama queen she was. The other replied, she thinks because she’s pretty and privileged life was going to be easy for her and they laughed. I found my sister in incredible pain even with her epidural and when I asked the nurses why she’s still in pain they practically rolled their eyes at me. We tracked down her doctor who also seemed skeptical of my sister but upon further examination and an extra test realized she was having a gall bladder attack at the same time as labor. That shut everyone up and they finally started treating my sister with the care she should have received from the beginning of her complaints. I’ll always remember the lack of compassion from that maternity ward. I had the opposite experience at Columbian presbyterian university hospital where they excell in bedside manner and don’t tolerate being rude to any patient so hopefully Emory will adopt a similar compassionate culture to their future patients.
I LOVE Columbia-Presbyterian. They’ve been caring for my son’s heart for 11 years, and they’re super patient-focused. I will always take the chance to give them credit!
I know everyone talks about what “angels” nurses are but really, I haven’t seen it in hospitals, with all the times my mom has been hospitalized for various issues, and I don’t think I was being overly demanding.
I’m always very nice to them but trying to get them to pay attention to you…my mom was in discomfort and I went to the nurse’s station, and they all basically ignored me and continued their conversations (they were all standing around) and I finally had to say, “Excuse me, can I get some help for my mom?” They couldn’t have looked less interested in helping and said, “Someone will be down in a minute.” 20 minutes later they came down, and this was after we’d pressed the call button a few times, 10 minutes apart, before I even went down to the nurse’s station.
I’ve had my own experiences too with nurses when I had a miscarriage and had to have a D&C, and one of them basically told me to stop crying and stop being a baby. I also stayed in the ER with a relative when she had a mental breakdown until she could be admitted somewhere, they were not nice.
So I guess I’ve just met the wrong ones? At most I’ve had “competent” ones not “angel” ones, and then the mean ones.
I believe there are great nurses. With my first child I was treated awfully over breastfeeding. They would start undressing me and grab my breast when my son started crying. Then I had one nurse who was caring and understanding and she brought me formula and said it was my choice and she was the only nurse who came to see me after that. With my second son I was treated badly again (this time was in a different country) but I could hear other women being yelled at in the middle of the night. I was induced and left alone and finally lied to get up into labour and delivery. I didn’t think I could emotionally handle giving birth again after both experiences. I was so upset seeing what these nurses were saying and how they acted and I would be mortified if people vented about me in private as well.
Social media will be the downfall of our society. It’s valid to have complaints (whether they’re valid or not) and need to vent to a friend. One reason why I have a therapist – so I have a healthy outlet to vent my thoughts. However, when you open up your thoughts to the general population on social media, you open yourself up to the consequences of those words. Many people have learned this the hard way in the last several years. Many things should just be left thought and not said… or perhaps just said to a trusted friend and not shared with the class.
I have close family members who are nurses. They got into nursing because they’re genuinely good and caring people. They’d never post crap like this on social media.
They often complain about younger nurses who spend more time on their phones than in patients’ rooms. This isn’t just a matter of old women yelling at clouds — they’re not that old, for one thing, and they have high standards for themselves. They just get tired of having to pick up the slack when they’re already overworked and underpaid.
They went through hell during COVID, and now they’re see hospitals fill nursing slots with subpar candidates, who may make up the numbers but don’t really improve matters. (They are good mentors to younger nurses, but find some of them unresponsive.)
Apologies to any doctors here, but a good nurse is worth more to me as a patient than a physician — in my experience while hospitalized, good nurses were doing most of the work.
Amen to this whole thing. I think hospitals have driven out a lot of good people by cutting budgets and overworking nurses. I have a relative who went from being part of a team to the only RN in her department, and assigned a completely unmanageable number of patients. She encouraged me NOT to become a nurse. We shouldn’t be running hospitals like a for-profit businesses.
You are the best lady ok
some people said that they (nurses) are human and allowed to vent. by all means, do so but at the same time, check yourself. your job put you in charge/of dealing with people in their vulnerable state, if you think that their family coming to the nurse station is something to hold against her/them, you are in the wrong industry.
If you don’t have the passion and the patience for your job then why did you decide to take it up as a profession? Some of the most insensitive people I’ve ever met were from health care. Those nurses had it coming. I don’t feel sorry for them. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Hearing these nurses say that asking for a shower is an ick is just horrible as someone who has been on the receiving end of this attitude. I remember with my first pregnancy I had to be induced even though I desperately didn’t want to be because it often creates a more difficult, painful labour with more medical interventions needed (spoiler: it did but also saved my daughter so there ya go) and as I was being wheeled into the room I asked the midwife “can I go in the shower?” and she snapped at me: “you’re getting induced!” like I was a complete idiot. I had no idea that I was going to be connected to several IVs and unable to move. Let alone eat or drink anything (ice chips for the win!). Labour can be such a terrifying, lonely experience and you need kind, compassionate medical staff who put you at ease and make you feel safe.