I’ve been sober for a decade, maybe more than that (I honestly haven’t counted). I stopped drinking for a variety of reasons, including “I can’t hold my liquor anymore” and “I’m tired of hangovers and empty calories.” I could feel myself getting duller and dumber and I felt like sh-t a lot of time when I was in my Nightcap Era. Well, John Mayer is also sober now. He’s been sober for six years, and he associates his sobriety with his lack of romance. Mayer explained all of this – in a surprisingly interesting way – on the Call Her Daddy podcast.
His sobriety affects his dating life: “Dating is no longer a codified activity for me, it doesn’t exist in a kind of… it’s not patterned anymore. I don’t really date — I don’t think that I have to, to be quite honest. I quit drinking like six years ago, so I don’t have the liquid courage. I just have dry courage.”
When he got sober: The catalyst for Mayer’s sobriety came in the form of Drake’s 30th birthday and the subsequent six-day hangover Mayer suffered as a result of drinking at the party. The singer has not had a drink since Oct. 23, 2016, he previously shared.
His womanizer reputation: “I think, look, the elephant in the room is that I’m on a show that caters to women, and I have a couple of name plates on me, like ‘Lothario’ and ‘womanizer,’ and I think that is what that is. But I think people would be surprised to know that it was less me going like, you know the meme of the guy behind the tree? It was less this [Mayer rubs his hands together] and more like this [Mayer looks around]: Me? Because it was always set forth to me that like, that shouldn’t happen.” Growing up, Mayer said that he was “made to believe” that if somebody liked or showed any interest in him, the attention was an “accident,” and so he should “capitalize” on the opportunity. “And so I felt very deeply when somebody liked me. Very deeply.”
He’s always believed in making love last. “Every relationship I’ve ever been in was devoted to the idea that this could go the distance. My entire life, today included, if you told me that I could have a great two months with someone but it would end on the first day of the third month, I would not be interested. I’ve always sought potential for a long-term relationship.”
I wondered if Mayer’s sobriety overlapped his relationship with Katy Perry, but no, it didn’t – he was still drinking when he was with Katy on-and-off from 2012-2015. I hadn’t heard (before now) that the catalyst for Mayer getting sober was a six-day hangover following Drake’s birthday party. What a sobriety story, wow. Anyway, I admire Mayer for talking about sobriety like this and talking about how sobriety shifted other parts of his life. That being said, the man is still a womanizer and a douche. He absolutely treated multiple girlfriends like sh-t for decades. Jessica Simpson detailed all the ways in which he manipulated her, made her feel inferior and treated her like sh-t. Taylor Swift has had a lot of sh-t to say too. While I would believe that his drinking was a factor in his behavior with women, it’s not the only factor. The man is a sleazy d–khead, sober or drunk.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
WTF does being sober have to do with it? I’ve never been anything but a very light drinker, and same with all the men I’ve dated, except for those who didn’t drink at all. Alcohol makes sex a lot worse anyway.
His pose of being surprised about women liking him sounds like Joss Whedon.
I don’t really get it either. He doesn’t have the courage to date women if he’s not buzzed?
Some of my sober friends tell me it is hard to have the confidence to approach romantic prospects without alcohol to boost them.
I don’t get the connection. So this means he is giving up serious relationships with women in order to stay sober?
There’s something about jonh mayer’s face that I just can’t.
Backpfeifengesicht. (German for face in need of a fist.)
I practice Spanish daily on duolingo to feel like I have learnt something every day but this blows all my spanish phrases out of the water! Thank you.
It’s an expansive head with a condensed face on it.
He looks like a slightly more tan Edward scissor hands to me and the faces he makes while he sings have always made me laugh so I don’t find him attractive in anyway.
He really does love to hear himself talk. I can smell his lack of sincerity from here. It’s great that he got sober but he needs to work on his mentals. I heard he was “spending time” with Kiernan Shipka and was disgusted. That age gap I just too great, she could be his child. He’s still so manipulative, I can only imagine the terrible shit he says to her. I read Jessica’s book too and he was just terrible to her.
Get REAL help John.
I’m a physician, and I have questions about what exactly is a six day hangover?
Acute alcohol poisoning and its lingering effects? That’s my guess, anyway.
I’ve had some multi day hangovers back when I was a heavy drinker. The headache might be gone, but you are going into days 2, 3, and 4 still feeling woozy and pukey and maybe staggering a little when you walk and bright light hurts your eyes and you just can’t think or react normally. Basically you are still kind of tipsy but without any buzz.
a six day hang over is withdrawal symptoms. He obviously was a serious drunk already on a bender and the party was the final night of said bender.
Hopefully he’s been super busy in the past 6 years making amends.
He has. Playing in Dead and Company was/is a life changing event for him. He has many interviews about how the Grateful Dead saved his life.
I loathe this man. He’s really going to blame being emotionally abusive on being shocked women liked him … so what, he decided to cover for his feelings of inadequacy by mind-gaming and manipulating them? There’s a difference between wanting your partner to admire you, and putting them down to prove yourself. This man not only needed to stop drinking but 100% needs therapy. Like a lot of it.
Hasn’t he been out and about, dining etc with Kiernan Shipka recently. Side-eye. He’s so full of it.
Congratulations on his sobriety. I genuinely hope he’s in a better place now. But, honestly, now he’s just a sober douche. Nothing seems to have changed with his mentality towards women. I can’t imagine that anyone with self-respect would be interested.
You really need strong self hatred to date someone like him. I’m surprised how he and Jared Leto managed to evade Times Up movement in Hollywood. It’s scary how shady Hollywood is.
You can call him out for being a douche like he has been but not try to lump him in with any other accused sexual predators and/or r*pists
The elephant in every room I’m in every time his stupid name comes up, is the that he willingly uncovered his misogynoir and general racism *so* brazenly and has never, to my knowledge, addressed the inappropriateness of that.
What one racist wants to do with his body didn’t bother me. When his declaration of his revulsion for black women was printed and reprinted by some of the most widely read publications of that decade, though, it bothered me greatly back then and still does to this day. It makes me look pretty negatively at all the women who have seriously tried to date him as well.
Yes, @Osito, I will never get over his “David Duke dick” comment. He’s done nothing to address or apologize for it, as far as I know. And that comment alone is all one needs to know about him. Ugh.
On the bright side, I guess all of us women of color are safe from this asshole.
He’s trying to rewrite his dating history. Gross.
I listened to about 1/2 the podcast and got so annoyed at the softball questions. He took no responsibility for his own actions. Giving street interviews to TMZ about Jennifer Aniston. Who did nothing but love him and respect him. And he treated her like crap. His Playboy interview where he called his D David Duke for only wanting white women.
I mean it’s cute he wants to shift the blame to booze or the media. But really he is just a guy that from all accounts has a fetish for the Cheerleaders that rejected him in High School. And took it out on innocent women like Jessica Simpson in a twisted revenge psychosexual fantasy.
And his music sucks now.
Can’t stand him ever since he said black women are unattractive. He’s an unattractive. POS, abuser of women.
My thinking is the fact that he treats women so crummy, and is now known to be a rotten guy = The truth about me is out and no one will give me the time of day anymore. Therefore I can not get a date.
Never liked him or his music.
And he owes Jessica Simpson a HUGE apology.
Well said! Good for him for being sober, but I dont buy any of this hyuk i’m just a good hapless guy lookin for love and it sadly didn’t work out hyuk stuff. I absolutely believe Taylor and Jessica about how he was a manipulative expletive, and I’m sorry but without tremendous work and introspection that sort of thing doesn’t go away on its own. It’s possible he’s done all that work and just doesn’t want to talk about it, which is definitely his right. But I just don’t buy it based on what information he’s made public and has been made public about him. This guy is gross to me.
He’s not dating because women won’t date him thanks to his reputation. Blech. Looks like today’s creepy gross guy day on Celebitchy, LOL.
Just trying to do reputation damage control. I behaved like a douche because.. drinking. Forget about my behavior with Jessica Simpson.
Yeah, or so… that was not a relationship because he wasn’t in it for the long term???
And forget about him talking about her being sexual napalm, revealing personal sexual information about her..
He has changed quite a bit. If you haven’t noticed, you haven’t paid attention.
Hooking up. What he really means by “not dating” is not hooking up with tons of women because he’s not partying anymore. But he’s still a predator creep. I’m sure Keirnan will have some stories to tell in a couple of years.