Prince Harry was 26 years old when William married Kate in 2011. Harry had already served one tour in Afghanistan, and he would serve a second tour the following year. The Army had given Harry some distance and perspective on his dysfunctional family, which is apparently a big chunk of Harry’s memoir, Spare. In a new excerpt from Page Six, Harry described his feelings as he watched his older brother marry Kate.
Prince Harry reflects in his new memoir, “Spare,” on saying “goodbye” to his relationship with Prince William when the Prince of Wales married Kate Middleton in 2011.
“The brother I’d escorted into Westminster Abbey that morning was gone — forever. Who could deny it?” Harry writes, per an excerpt obtained by Page Six. “He’d never again be first [and] foremost Willy. We’d never again ride together across the Lesotho countryside with capes blowing behind us. We’d never again share a horsey-smelling cottage while learning to fly. Who shall separate us? Life, that’s who.”
The Duke of Sussex, 38, adds that he found the wedding to be “yet another farewell under this horrid roof” and “another sundering.”
“And I recall Willy walking her back up the aisle, and as they disappeared through the door, into the carriage that would convey them to Buckingham Palace, into the eternal partnership they’d pledged, I recall thinking: Goodbye,” he continues.
Harry – who served as his brother’s best man in the April 2011 wedding – recalls that the ceremony itself was “mostly a blank in my mind” but remembers Middleton looking “incredible” in her Sarah Burton gown.
It sounds like Harry made his peace, at that moment, with his relationship with William fundamentally changing. He was saying “goodbye” to the two of them, the two brothers united by pain and generational trauma, the two boys who walked behind their mother’s casket. Harry, at the age of 26, understood that William’s new priority would be his wife and children, that everything shifts when someone gets married. It’s in stark contrast to what we’ve heard from a certain violent Other Brother’s PR for years, which is that Harry was never supposed to get married or move away from his “real” partnership with William. Harry was never supposed to stop being William’s “wingman” and scapegoat. William never made his peace with the idea and reality that Harry’s marriage to Meghan meant that Harry’s priorities shifted too.
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- The Royal Wedding of HRH Prince William & Miss Catherine Middleton at Westminster Abbey 29.04.2011 HRH Prince William & Prince Harry Arriving at the Abbey .,Image: 503718724, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries call London + 44 (0)20 7421 6000 , New York + 1 646-329-6242 or Hamburg + 49 (0)40 530 240 5959, Model Release: no, Credit line: – / Avalon
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- 54305, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM – Friday April 29 2011. Groom Prince William arrives with his best man Prince Harry at Westminster Abbey for the Royal Wedding. Masses of crowds lined the streets to catch a glimpse of the new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge emerge from the church. **NORTH AMERICAN USE ONLY*** Photograph: Ã?©PacificCoastNews.com **FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE** **E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES** UK OFFICE:+44 131 557 7760/7761 US OFFICE:1 310 261 9676,Image: 525057538, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS, DIRECT SALES ONLY UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE IN CAPTION – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251 Madrid: +34 91 533 4289, Model Release: no, Credit line: PacificCoastNews.com / Avalon
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- 54342, LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM – Friday April 29, 2011. Best man Prince Harry waves to the crowd as he makes the journey by carriage procession to Buckingham Palace following the Royal Wedding of The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. **NORTH AMERICAN, FRENCH, POLISH AND ITALIAN USE ONLY** Photograph: © Smart Pictures, PacificCoastNews.com **FEE MUST BE AGREED PRIOR TO USAGE** **E-TABLET/IPAD & MOBILE PHONE APP PUBLISHING REQUIRES ADDITIONAL FEES** UK OFFICE:+44 131 557 7760/7761 US OFFICE:1 310 261 9676,Image: 525061929, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS, DIRECT SALES ONLY UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE IN CAPTION – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251 Madrid: +34 91 533 4289, Model Release: no, Credit line: Smart Pictures, PacificCoastNews.com / Avalon
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- Handout photo issued by Clarence House of The Bride and Groom in the throne room at Buckingham Palace, TRH The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge after their wedding. . Picture date: Friday April 29, 2011. Wedding. Photo credit should read: Hugo Burnand/Clarence House NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder. NO MERCHANDISE OR COMMERCIAL USE
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- Handout photo issued by Clarence House of The Bride and Groom in the throne room at Buckingham Palace, TRH The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge in the centre with attendants, (clockwise from bottom right) The Hon. Margarita Armstrong-Jones, Miss Eliza Lopes, Miss Grace van Cutsem, Lady Louise Windsor, Master Tom Pettifer, Master William Lowther-Pinkerton. . Picture date: Friday April 29, 2011. Wedding. Photo credit should read: Hugo Burnand/Clarence House NOTE TO EDITORS: This handout photo may only be used for editorial reporting purposes for the contemporaneous illustration of events, things or the people in the image or facts mentioned in the caption. Reuse of the picture may require further permission from the copyright holder. NO MERCHANDISE OR COMMERCIAL USE
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- Catherine Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, with Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, leaving the Abbey in a horse drawn carriage The Wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton – The Mall Departures London, England – 29.04.11 Where: London, United Kingdom When: 29 Apr 2011 Credit: Zak Hussein/WENN.com **Not available for publication in France**
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- The Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge Westminster Abbey, London. London, England – 29.04.11 Where: London, United Kingdom When: 29 Apr 2011 Credit: WENN **Only available for publication in UK, USA**
This stuff is why Harry is a remarkable member of that family. Even now, he can remember strong emotions that he was processing at the time, dealing with them and feeling them while rationally understanding that as a married man his brother would have a different relationship with him. The rest are all so stunted and pampered they are completely bewildered and furious when their dreams and happy situations are ever tampered with and can’t understand that life is a journey that takes you different places. Hence William and how he turned out.
@C Beautifully written. I appreciate your emotional intelligence and understanding of the difference between H and the rest of his fam.
I understand this. I was “sad” when my brothers got married because I knew everything would be different from that point out. Family meals would always have one more person, their idea of “family” would be their new families with their wives, not “our” nuclear family, etc.
I wasn’t resentful, I wasn’t angry, it just felt like a final passing of childhood or something, you know? Harry’s not saying here that he wishes William didn’t get married, just that he knew everything was going to be different after that.
@Becks1, I don’t know why, but your comment has me a little teary. I married the younger of two boys, and I remember very clearly how I could tell my mother-in-law was going thru some things when I came around and ended up engaged to her baby. Family photos of their nuclear family only started appearing hung up on the walls in their house when they hadn’t been there before, stuff like that. There is a real loss that comes to some when their loved ones marry and it doesn’t get talked about enough. As the mom now of two boys, I know one day I’m going to experience the same thing. 🙁
The stark difference in how Harry and William dealt with this same scenario is frightening. Harry was sad, but he handled it with grace and acceptance. William on the other hand behaved as if someone came along and borrowed his ipod without returning it. Total possession and ownership.
This is perfectly described @Becks1, and I felt the same way when my brother who I considered my best friend got married. You realize that your relationship will be different, and you hope a new one that is as fulfilling will replace it with their family. It really breaks my heart to see how Harry and Meghan were treated by that family, I don’t think any of them viewed their relationship with him that way. He was and is there to serve them and the crown, and anyone he brings along better expect that too for the entirety of their earthly existence.
This is why we cry at weddings. They are tears of happiness but also emotion around the change and loss of how it was before.
“William never made his peace with the idea and reality that Harry’s marriage to Meghan meant that Harry’s priorities shifted too.”
And that is why we are here. Will expected Harry to be his doormat and just take his bullshit. Kate expected it too. No one expected him to find a beautiful, brilliant, dynamic and ambitious young woman in Meghan to marry and live his life with.
William is such a fragile flower.
As far as William is concerned, Harry’s priorities were never supposed to shift. Even if and when he married, Harry needed to be available to William as his willing doormat. When Meghan came into Harry’s life, it was immediately clear to William that from then on she, not he, would always come first for Harry, as she should! That’s when the human rage machine kicked into high gear.
The above paragraphs summed thing up perfectly. Harry the spare to forever serve William but then along comes an American, divorced very intelligent beautiful woman. The royals were stagnated and could not project, now Harry is a husband, dedicated and loved. It is an archaic system that does not belong in this century.
He looks like a baby here. And, yes, it’s a transition into a new phase of life and you’re forming a new relationship with your sibling. Hopefully a better, more adult one with boundaries and respect.
And no assaults.
Yes.
Relationships grow and change or they die.
His brother’s priorities changed because of marriage and Harry accepted that.
It would have been wonderful if his acceptance was reciprociated by William.
They would have still had a relationship.
Harry made that transition to responsible, considerate adulthood, William never did. If William was writing his own book right now…Heir… would you buy it? Not me, and I pre-ordered Spare the moment that was possible. From what I’ve read here Spare will be a best-seller written by an honest, thoughtful man. Can you imagine Heir by Will-he B. King? It would be an angry diatribe, aimed at settling scores with those he feels have wronged him, and barely remember that he has a wife. I’m sure that Spare will be filled with many loving references to Meghan and the children.
This is bad. I had a feeling that William was emotionally stunted but never any clue as to just how badly he was. We knew William was bad but this is so much worse. He’s not fit for anything. I just hope all of Pegs’ kids are kept safe from him. Harry is confirming everything we suspected about William but also telling us he’s way worse than any of us imagined.
Harry is just so much more emotionally sensitive than his brother. Willie is too ignorant and too selfcentered to realize that life changes things and he was the one who wasnt able to adapt to other people’s lives. His only objective was always for others to do what he wanted and he resumed to violence when he saw no other way to convince Harry.
I’m going to really enjoy this book. Harry has the maturity that William lacks. That William couldn’t accept that Harry could no longer be his wingman tells of the resentment he had towards Meghan who in his eyes took Harry away from him. It also raises the question of if Harry knew their relationship had changed why did KP still insist in the Cambridges and Harry doing engagements together?
William sealed his fate by marrying someone who would pull him deeper into the toxic toffs world, rather than a wife who would find fulfillment in the duty side of the role. Kate was perfect, because she wanted to fit into this world, but because she didn’t have a chance. So William had someone who could never question his friends or have a chance to create a power base of her own, like Diana had.
The book was ghost written. Harry told his story to an experienced writer who wrote it.
Harry mourned the loss of his relationship with William, knowing going forward William’s focus would be on Kate and his future kids. It’s such a normal thing to feel: happy your sibling has found a partner but mourning the changes in your relationship now that a partner is in the picture. But I guess Harry never realized how territorial William was of him and felt entitled to have him in the background at his side for the rest of his life? He probably figured William would be supportive and happy for him whenever he met his future wife.
I wonder what Chelsy and Cressida would have to say about William and if William was a defining factor in them deciding they didn’t want to stay with Harry, apart from neither of them wanting to deal with the circus of being part of the BRF.
I’m glad to see some thoughtful excerpts like this. So far, it’s been all about bombshells, but the book is supposed to be about healing, too.
I do not agree that Middleton looked incredible in her wedding dress. I remember watching it with my mother who thought she was disappointing. I remember fake photos being published years before the wedding of Middleton and William as Bride and groom. She had her hair up and looked so much better. She should have had a bigger tiara and bigger bouquet to match her dress which was gorgeous but boring. The skirt was fine but I did not like the top with its sticky out bits and too deep vee.
The dress was basic
My mother and I both went “okay, so she’s doing princess grace” at first sight. Her first copykeen!
It doesn’t have to be this way, it really depends. My bff and sister are both married, one has a baby. Our relationships have not changed at their core. But maybe that’s something you have to actively choose. They both made it very clear that this wouldn’t ever take away from the importance they place on our relationship and when you make that choice, you add to your life. I gained a brother in law, I’ve known my bff’s husband for literally decades. We all like each other a lot and I’m glad they are happy. I still get the same amount of time etc. When you see someone leave the church and know things are dramatically different, your relationship before wasn’t super solid.
I don’t think the British Royal Family expected Harry’s priorities to shift when he married because fundamental the families understanding of role/monarchy is that the monarch and heir are always the priority. Harry wasn’t supposed to prioritize his wife because for each member, including those that marry in, the crown and its preservation should always be the priority.
I think this fundamental difference in thought is one of the reasons that it’s often a struggle for people who marry into royal families.
An interesting example of this dilemma is the relationship/love story of Prince Bertil of Sweden and Princess Lillian.
The stark Difference between William and Harry could not be more evident so many people want to make it seem like Harry is just being a whiny or belittle his story. Harry knew William would have to put his newly wife and future kids a head of him he was ok with that and was genuine happy for William and Kate. Instead of Returning those same feelings for Harry and Meghan William and Kate decides to go all in a years long campaign in Racism bullying harassment of Meghan . They try to push Meghan who was pregnant into suicide they didn’t just want a divorce between Meghan and Harry they want Meghan and Archie gone for this planet . That’s just pure evil vile disgusting I can’t believe their are actually people Justified William Behavior and condoned it .
William didn’t expect Harry’s life to change so dramatically after Harry married, because William’s life didn’t change that much after he married Kate.
William still fooled around with other women. He still expected to be at the center of other’s people’s lives, because he’s the heir, damn it.