Prince Harry spoke a lot about his wife and his two children during Saturday’s conversation with Dr. Gabor Mate. Harry met Meghan in the summer of 2016 and he credits her with “saving” him in many ways. I do too – the argument they had where Meghan basically told him to try therapy again or else she was out? That changed his life and saved his life. But she’s saved his life and his sanity in a million other ways too, notably showing him that there are other ways to live, work and parent. Harry’s journey is about breaking generational cycles of abuse, neglect and trauma, and he spoke to Dr. Mate about that as well. Some highlights from their talk:

Harry on how Meghan saved him: “People have said my wife saved me. I was stuck in this world, and she was from a different world and helped draw me out of that. But none of the elements of my life now would have been possible without me seeing it for myself. My partner is an exceptional human being and I’m eternally grateful for the wisdom and the space that she has been able to give me.”

On racism: Harry also said that he had a “crash course” in racism since meeting Meghan. “I think what people perhaps don’t understand is the pain that it causes to an individual is huge, but then the pain that it causes to society is immense.”

The lack of physical contact after his mother died: “It leaves me in the position how as a father, I have two kids of my own, making sure that I smother them with love and affection,” Prince Harry said, joking that he doesn’t “smother them to the point that they’re trying to get away. But in the sense that I as a father feel a huge responsibility to ensure that I don’t pass on any traumas or negative experiences I’ve had. And that’s work, that’s putting in the work, and daily, being conscious of my behavior, of my reactions to both of my kids. And there are times when I catch myself in a moment when I should be smothering them with that love and in that moment, I might not be, reminding myself [to]. I wouldn’t have been as aware of it had I not done the therapy and work that I’ve done.”

Agency as parents: “To be able to change the root cause of so much of those issues, to be able to up, move, that to me, feels as though it gives me much more of a chance, and my wife, more agency as parents, to be able to bring our kids up in a way that’s really beneficial and good for them,” he said. The Duke of Sussex added that he had “an incredible childhood, elements of it, and elements of it were incredibly painful.”

[From People Magazine]

“My partner is an exceptional human being and I’m eternally grateful for the wisdom and the space that she has been able to give me.” I like that he gives a lot of credit to Meghan for saving him, but he also acknowledges that he has been doing the work. And it’s true – it wasn’t like Harry and Meghan had a fight, he agreed to go to therapy and everything was “fixed.” You have to do the work every day, you have to unlearn toxic behaviors, you have to phase out unhealthy behaviors. I think we would probably be shocked to see just how different the Sussexes’ parenting styles are compared to the parenting style of, say, Will and Kate. And fundamentally, the best thing Harry did for his children was… move to America. Move them out of the toxic fishbowl, move out of an environment where everything is transactional and the British press felt like they “owned” his children.

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