Simon Cowell wears hilarious shirts, waxes his hands

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Aren’t these the best, most incredible photos of Simon Cowell ever? God, this guy is such a douche. I don’t even mean that really – I think Simon has as many good characteristics as he has bad, but his shirt and general appearance in these photos is killing me. He just looks like the kind of guy who sticks his hand up his secretary’s skirt. He looks like he’s auditioning to be an extra in The Sopranos. He looks like the kind of guy who reek of Axe Body Spray and baby oil. He looks like he dressed up as a dorky John Travolta circa Saturday Night Fever. He looks like he works part-time at a strip club. He looks like he wants to produce MTV’s new show “Jersey Shore”. Oh, thank you, Simon Cowell. I enjoyed these!

That’s not even the only funny Simon Cowell news! Simon recently gave an interview to the Daily Mail (via NYDN) where he talks about how he loves his Botox and his hand waxes. And no, “hand waxes” is not a euphemism, I checked. Simon actually gets his hand hair waxed off. Ew…

Simon Cowell’s known for his vanity, but he’s taken his preoccupation with appearance to a whole new level with a hot-wax beauty treatment that left him with silky smooth hands, according to the Daily Mail.

The multimillionaire music mogul unveiled his newly hairless hands to 14 million viewers last night on ITV’s “X Factor,” where he is a judge, according to the Daily Mail. His no-longer hirsute knuckles and fingers were in sharp contrast to his forearms, which are still covered by dark, thick hair, according to the paper.

Cowell, who reportedly displays his hairy chest in the Caribbean during the holiday season, according to the Mail, has said he’s also gotten injections to smooth out the lines in his face.

“I’ve had Botox,” Cowell told the Daily Mail. “But, then again, pretty much everyone I know has, except Cheryl Cole.”

With men now spending a reported $38 billion a year in the U.S. on grooming and plastic surgery, it’s hardly a surprise that waxing is getting so popular, says Michele Probst, celebrity makeup artist and founder of Menaji Skincare.

Cowell’s hand wax came as no surprise to her.

“Look at Simon’s hair. Obviously, he’s a very hairy man,” Probst said. “If he is getting his hands waxed, I am sure he is getting his back waxed and maybe his brows and ears, too. Almost any celebrity in film gets a lot more waxing done than you know about.”

The somewhat painful form of manscaping is becoming more popular with noncelebs as well. “Waxing for men in general has gotten huge,” says Agatha Kranidiotis, wax specialist at Mania’s Hairstyling in Park Ridge, N.J.

“Men feel cleaner and more confident when they wax. It’s not popular any more to have hair in certain places.” Popular sites for men to wax include backs, legs, noses, brows and ears, says Kranidiotis, who charges $20 for a hand wax.

Sophia Murdechi is the waxing specialist at Valery Joseph, a Madison Ave. salon, where a man’s hand wax sets you back $50.

“Men are just more comfortable with waxing today,” Murdechi says. “A lot of men don’t like when the little hairs grow on the fingers.”

[From The New York Daily News]

I guess waxing your hands isn’t the worst thing, honestly. The only place I don’t really want hair on a man is on his back. Other than that, I just take hair on men as a given. Maybe it’s just me, but I like a hirsute man. So I guess I won’t go for Simon then – he’s too into his waxing and his upkeep. I bet he gets a bikini wax too.

Simon Cowell leaves “The X Factor” Fountain Studios, after the live show on Sunday November 29, 2009. Credit: Pacific Coast News.

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9 Responses to “Simon Cowell wears hilarious shirts, waxes his hands”

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  1. gg says:

    Ack! The vision of him with a white “natural bikini” surrounded by fuzz is making my coffee want to come up.

    His hair looks exactly like the gorilla’s in the Atlanta zoo. The superficial part in the middle baffles the crap out of me.

  2. Firestarter says:

    UGH! His face makes me angry and his tight shirts, spanning his waist kinda gross me out.

  3. snowball says:

    How old and mooby is he going to be when he starts buttoning up his shirts?! Not sexy at all.

    Oh man, gg:, I did not need an image of him laying on a table with his legs spread, getting his unmentionable area waxed. And I really mean unmentionable.

    I totally believe he waxes a LOT. He looks like he’d be a hairy beast.

    Kaiser, that first paragraph was comic gold. :)

  4. GatsbyGal says:

    For me, it’s the hair. He has TERRIBLE hair, like someone had a stack of books on his head. It’s all flat and weird on top. I wish he’d grow it out a little.

  5. Goddess711 says:

    “You’ll get hairy palms” – isn’t that what mom’s tell their boys? I’m guessing he maybe NEEDS that waxing, wink wink, nudge nudge…

  6. lilred says:

    They put buttons all the way up the shirt for a reason.

  7. nanster says:

    @gg – you said what I was thinking. How can a man have all that money and such a lousy haircut? But then again, there’s Donald Trump…

  8. Teri Lobo says:

    The hair! It’s such an awful cut. Parted in the middle and completely flat on top. FrankenEgo!

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