Thursday afternoon, People Magazine had yet another exclusive about Ariana Grande and her new boyfriend Ethan Slater. They met when both of them were married to other people, and Ethan’s wife Lilly Jay welcomed their first child just last year. It’s as messy as can be, made messier by two simple facts: Ariana is using her A-lister PR team to steamroll her way into whitewashing her sloppy behavior AND Lilly Jay is not going quietly. “Sources close to Lilly Jay” have been battling it out with “sources close to Ariana Grande” for the past week and it’s been fascinating to watch from a gossip perspective. Anyway, People’s exclusive was another Team Grande piece about how it was “obvious” that Ari and Ethan were “forming a close connection” on the set of Wicked: “They were very sweet to each other and often seen laughing together… Everyone just thought they were both happily married though and didn’t expect them to end up dating.” The source says they’re now “full-on dating.” Barf. Within hours, Lilly Jay spoke on the record to Page Six:
Lilly Jay says her family is “collateral damage” as news broke of her estranged husband Ethan Slater’s budding romance with his “Wicked” co-star Ariana Grande.
“[Ariana’s] the story really. Not a girl’s girl,” Jay exclusively tells Page Six. “My family is just collateral damage.”
The musician, who shares one son with the “SpongeBob SquarePants: The Broadway Musical” star, says she’s focusing on raising her and Slater’s baby and being “a good mom.”
“The story is her and Dalton,” Jay adds, referencing Grande’s split from her husband, Dalton Gomez, to whom she had been married for two years.
However, sources tell Page Six that Jay has been “calling every news outlet to get this story out” while acting differently toward Slater behind the scenes.
“She’s telling Ethan and others that she only cares about protecting their child,” our source shares. “She’s rightfully upset because her marriage fell apart, but Ariana and Ethan didn’t do anything wrong,” our insider adds, telling us that Slater had been separated from Jay for two months before romancing Grande.
“Ethan is trying to take the high road and hopes he can resolve this situation for the sake of their child.”
Those quotes in the second half are from Ariana throwing a tantrum about how Lilly won’t just shut up. Lilly has been “calling every news outlet to get this story out” – yeah, that’s what wronged women do, that’s what many women would do if their husband dumped them for a married costar. “But Ariana and Ethan didn’t do anything wrong” – they truly cheated on their spouses for what will be a six-month relationship at most. Those “sources” keep insisting that Slater left Lilly two months ago when Lilly is making sure everyone knows that she was blindsided by all of this and Ariana’s actions are the real story. Shades of LeAnn Rimes-Eddie Cibrian, huh?
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
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- 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards held at The Staples Center – Arrivals Featuring: Ariana Grande Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 26 Jan 2020 Credit: CF/Cover Images
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- USA Rights Only – New York, USA -20180507- Celebrities pose on the famous stairs at the 2018 MET Gala -PICTURED: Ariana Grande -PHOTO by: PA Images/INSTARimages.com -36372344.jpg This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded Featuring: Ariana Grande Where: New York, New York, United States When: 07 May 2018 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages.com **USA Rights Only**
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- , New York, NY – 20180610 Celebrities attend the 72nd Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. -PICTURED: Ethan Slater -PHOTO by: Kristin Callahan/ACE/Instarimages.com -061018_TonyAwards_K072 This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded Featuring: Ethan Slater Where: New York, New York, United States When: 10 Jun 2018 Credit: Kristin Callahan/ACE/Instarimages.com
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- , New York, NY – 20180610 Celebrities attend the 72nd Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. -PICTURED: Ethan Slater -PHOTO by: Kristin Callahan/ACE/Instarimages.com -061018_TonyAwards_K071 This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded Featuring: Ethan Slater Where: New York, New York, United States When: 10 Jun 2018 Credit: Kristin Callahan/ACE/Instarimages.com
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- -New York, NY – 20190304 – Lincoln Center Theater’s benefit performance of Camelot, starring Lin-Manuel Miranda and directed by Bartlett Sher -PICTURED: Ethan Slater -PHOTO by: Adam Nemser/startraksphoto.com Disclaimer: This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Startraks Photo for licensing fee and rights information at sales@startraksphoto.com or call +1 212 414 9464 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Startraks Photo reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing Featuring: Ethan Slater Where: New York, New York, United States When: 04 Mar 2019 Credit: Adam Nemser/startraksphoto.com
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- -New York, NY – 20190602 – The 64th Annual Drama Awards Arrivals -PICTURED: Ethan Slater -PHOTO by: Adam Nemser/startraksphoto.com Disclaimer: This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Startraks Photo for licensing fee and rights information at sales@startraksphoto.com or call +1 212 414 9464 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Startraks Photo reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing Featuring: Ethan Slater Where: New York, New York, United States When: 02 Jun 2019 Credit: Adam Nemser/startraksphoto.com
Team Ariana can wrap this turd up in a bow and it’s still a turd. None of her PR makes this look any better because it can’t. The timeline is already there.
Trust, if she’d been calling every outlet trying to get her version of the story out, she’d BE in every outlet and her story WOULD be out.
Instead she’s quoted, on the record with an “I’m not the one you should be writing about” type quote. That sounds like someone finally reaching her and her giving a hurt, but minimal, interview.
Ariana’s team is lying AGAIN and now they are even smearing her a bit fir the sin of speaking for herself and having a POV. Screw them.
Lilly Jay needs to go full Debbie Reynolds as far as I’m concerned. Lonely pap walk with the baby, no makeup and a diaper bag. If AG wants to weaponize PR against her, Lilly owes her nothing.
“If AG wants to weaponize PR against her, Lilly owes her nothing.” Exactly. AG seems to think AJ is an extra in the background, someone she can throw around and drown out.
A pap walk with the baby with no makeup on and a stroller—especially if it’s right after Ariana and Scumbob glam it up and walk a red carpet for the first time together—would be SAVAGE and a total checkmate move.
Like, oh yeah my ex is on the red carpet with a pop star having the time of his life. But here I am, alone in my stained, comfy sweatpants and t-shirt, messy mom hair like I haven’t slept in days, just raising our baby all alone because he’s too busy being a star to bother anymore, he’s forgotten all about us. She’d be a goddamn legend for doing something like that.
Mario that would be a boss move and I hope Lily reads this site and implements this! She doesn’t owe Ariana a damn thing! Keep talking Lily! I love that she is not going to go away quietly. Her husband left her and their baby for a mumbler in look at me I’m a sexy toddler in these getups selfish a-hole and Lily needs to tell her story.
I found Ariana (and the entire cast) super annoying on Victorious. That show was nails on a blackboard. Ari was even more annoying on Sam and Cat. The stuff of nightmares. I can’t stand Ariana’s music – half the time I don’t know what the eff she is saying cause she doesn’t enunciate and when I can make out the words the lyrics are just vile/trashy:
“Imma leave it open you can hit it like a sidechick” etc. The stupid oversexed videos on all fours on granite countertops in her underwear and playboy bunny ears. So try hard and so much pick me energy. Dude you left your wife for a donut licking pick me chick who had zero regard for your family/wife/baby/career.
She has a huge fan base willing to excuse just about anything (total Swifty vibes) and she will be fine. He is not going to recover – and no he does not have the market for nerds on lock here – there are plenty of nerds who can act and are who are actually likable.
FAFO season is about to hit you hard playa.
Agree. Team Ariana has been trying to spin this from the get go. All that bs about Dalton not being used to her fame in a post pandemic world. No, she was just cheating on him pure and simple.
@Scorpiomoon “Scumbob” is brilliant!!!
Never much cared for Ariana, and this just adds to my reasoning. I can’t wait until this affair comes and bites her in the ass in whichever way/form that happens.
I hope Lilly gets her story out there, and then ignores those two idiots so she can recalibrate, recover and thrive. I hope she has a strong support system that helps her blossom in the middle of the shit field that her ex and Ariana created.
Also, I wonder if this will impact how Wicked is received by the public?
“ Also, I wonder if this will impact how Wicked is received by the public?”
For someone like me, yes. I don’t often go to the movies anymore, and I don’t see Wicked being worth my time and money at the moment. This affair leaves a nasty taste in my mouth.
Same. This isn’t a Mr and Mrs Smith situation where everyone was an adult and knew the game. They are trying to steamroll two civilians and a newborn. Zero desire to see the movie now. Also, they had to pause filming and the special effects will take time. This won’t be released for at LEAST another year. Zero chance they are still together for promo. Awkward and gross all around.
Yeah this press tour is going to be don’t worry darling 2.0 mess levels
Yeah Universal must be f*cking PISSED about this because I really do think this mess will hurt their bottom line.
It will definitely keep me from seeing the movie. I have no desire to watch it while knowing how heartlessly SpongeBob and Ari treated Lilly.
Well, this “scandal” (get real; Ariana isn’t the one who vowed everlasting faithfulness to Slater’s wife – put the blame where it’s due: ON HIM) is just a small part of the sh*t show that is the Wicked movie: two years overdue, endless reshoots, a clueless director, an idiotic decision to split it into two parts, etc. It’s already a debacle, starting with the casting; Erivo is much too mature-looking for Elphaba, Grande has always been a hot mess, so why did they think she’d be a good Glinda?
I’ll just listen to the Broadway cast album and leave it at that.
See, I don’t know. This has been given LeeAnn and Eddie vibes to me from the beginning and they’re still together. I could see AG and this unfortunate-looking dude staying together for promos and even going the distance.🤷🏾♀️
@ Side Eye upthread, in all fairness, Dude had zero regard for his own family/wife/baby/career. Had he, it didn’t matter what AG’s regard for them was this wouldn’t have happened. He can be on the receiving end of a broken commitment UNLESS they truly make a run of this. Other cheaters have lasted.
@MAISIE this is gross but a clueless director? Jon M. Chu? I don’t think so. Crazy Rich Asians, In The Heights and s slew of Step Up movies… He is not clueless. I’m sorry but this judgment smacks of something extremely uncomfortable.
I would have gone to see this, despite the fact that I can’t tell what words are coming out of Ariana’s mouth most of the time but now? no thank you. I wish them all the luck in the world for the promotion of this movie.
He looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy.
Same this is a movie that would have gotten me to the theatres to see it on a big screen. This whole thing is so gross and the PR spin of ‘‘They did nothing wrong’ really annoyed me. I had zero opinions of either one of these people prior to this. I loathe cheaters however. No thanks!!!
I just thinking that he looks like one of those old troll dolls that were popular in the late 80s/90s, down to the orange hair.
Before “received by the public,” there’s “received by the cast and crew.” As one of the leads, Ariana has a responsibility to the production. This is very unprofessional and disruptive
ROO Wicked is one of my all time favorite musicals and I will not be paying to see these messes in the theater. I expect it will be affecting the movie bottom line. I also see it affecting the career movie wise for both of these idiots. She is a spoiled child who steals other women’s husbands for entertainment and he was just starting his career which will be somewhat limited due to his “unique” vibe and now he is labeled as a mess. I can donate that $15 to a women’s shelter.
I might have gone to see it just because I saw the show on Broadway when it opened, and loved it. Now, no way. I can’t look at AG and think “good witch.”
Ariana Grande is dirty/messy!
While Ariana is no way innocent in this, I never like when the jilted women blame the outside woman. Your husband didn’t fall innocently into her arms. These situations are always messy. I hope at some point Ariana sees that she has issues that no new relationships will solve and that she is leaving alot of emotional baggage with other people from which they now have to get clear. It may not be soon but one day Lilly will realise that he was never worthy of her.
All of this. I think Ari is messy and responsible for ruining her own marriage but let the people they were in relationships with direct the anger at their partners that cheated. That being said, it is easier to be mad at a stranger than someone you love.
I agree though, this is a pattern for Ariana and I hope she gets therapy because I don’t see the logic and appeal in constantly pursuing men who are already in relationships.
Wishing all the best to Lilly. I hope she finds joy and happiness after all of this.
I always remember how everyone blamed Monica and not the POTUS in the whole Lewinsky/Clinton mess. He cheated, he sweet talked a girl not that much older the Chelsea at the time. I like Bill but I always felt bad for Monica. As for this steaming pile of dumpster fire, Ariana will not “end up” with Ethan. When Wicked is done so too will this. It’s sad all around but I think the wife needs to blame the one who made a promise to her. However, I don’t think much of women or men who become romantically involved with someone who is married or when they themselves are. It shows their character or rather lack thereof
I hate it when the wronged woman goes after the other woman. Why does her husband get a free pass when he’s the one who betrayed the marriage. Even if Ariana through herself at Ethan he could have said no.
Lilly’s first comments to the press were indeed about her spouse (blind-siding her, etc.).
It seems she only started coming for AG after AG started coming for her, specifically (AG’s “sources” challenging Lilly’s statements in the press; etc.) As someone said earlier, AG is out here weaponizing PR against Lilly.
AG should keep her mouth closed on all of this and decline to comment about Slater/Jay’s relationship, there is no world in which she looks good speaking out on anything to do with the two of them.
Louise – you can be mad at both the robber and the getaway car driver. They are both guilty.
In this case the robber spoke vows and the getaway car driver tried to chat up wifey and befriend her.
Lilly is fully ok to say whatever she wants, sucks she has to deal with victim blamers who tell her to take it silently like old time wives from a more toxic era for women.
Yeah, he’s a jerk, but I am not going to blame the jilted party for hating the third party if that’s how they feel.
They were meddling in a marriage and especially Ariana’s American Sweetheart image is nauseating now.
Yeah, I’m meeting up with a friend who used to be a relationship therapist until they removed relationship therapy from health insurance…
Briefly, what Lilly said about Ariana not being a woman’s woman is probably correct given her dating history. However,…
There is no woman in the world who can stop Ethan from cheating: Lilly or anyone else doesn’t have that power. And,…
There is no woman in the world who can make Ethan cheat: Ariana or anyone else does not have that power.
Basically, we ultimately have control over our own behavior and can work on that. We don’t have that over others.
She has every right to feel betrayed by Ariana as well given the fact that Ariana spent time with them as a family. Also, this woman is still in her postpartum time. Her husband is the one that should have been faithful but she has plenty of reasons to be mad at Ariana too
Exactly. She can be mad at Ariana too. Why should she hide her anger? Some of these comments come across as being more concerned about Ariana’s mental health than Lilly’s.
It’s not like Lilly released a full public statement that you can judge in its entirety. These articles cherry-pick what to include, so we have no idea about her other thoughts.
Lorena, I absolutely agree that she should feel betrayed by Ariana. Ari acted like her friend! And I think she should be getting her side of the story out there. Plus, other women in relationships have the right to know how Ariana operates. Lilly’s anger is absolutely justified.
As to blaming Ariana while not going after her husband? No. If Ariana had cheated with a different dude and left Ethan alone, Lilly would not be in this situation. For her marriage breaking up, Ariana is exchangeable, but Ethan isn’t.
@ Lorena–EXACTLY. Also, let’s not forget that they have a kid together. It’s not the best look to trash dad in the media and I’m sure she knows the internet is forever.
I see no reason why she can’t be mad at both of them. No, Ariana didn’t technically cheat on her but she went after a man she knew was married with an infant! Who was also separated from his wife physically because of filming overseas, which made him easier prey.
Ethan wronged Lily more because he’s her husband and the father of her child, but Ariana wronged her too. You don’t do that. It’s not breaking Girl Code, it’s breaking Woman Code.
And as others have said, she needs to be careful what she says about Ethan because of custody and financial issues that need to be sorted in the divorce.
Agreed. She can be mad at her (now) ex AND Arianna. Just bc she’s mad at AG doesn’t mean she isn’t holding him responsible for his actions.
Good point, Shawna.
We don’t know all that was said, and magazines etc will be far more interested in what she said about Ariana than this nobody that most people had never heard of.
I agree. She is better off. Before folks jump on Jay for not directing most (or at least equal) anger at Slater, it’s important to remember three things:
1. She could have said twice as much about Ethan as she did about Ariana and the press is going to write about Ariana. That’s their angle, that’s their story and he has been largely ignored with no POV in this entire story, well before his wife was interviewed, because he’s not famous enough. The press picks the quotes it uses and the British press makes the practice of squeezing it and shaping them to fit their narrative an art form. Just because there are no real quotes about Ethan or Lilly’s POV doesn’t mean they weren’t expressed.
2. Ariana Grande’s PR team is driving this story, so the press are largely treating other comments as responses to what they’ve been fed. That’s what they print and how they low-key frame it.
3. Her lawyers may be very clear with her: don’t trash your baby’s father in the press. They may note Ariana has money and may have hired a divorce lawyer for him. With those resources to fight, she needs the high ground: not trashing him in the press, not destroying his reputation, etc. which will all favor her when it comes to a settlement and custody. Even her remarks about AG were pretty mild if you think about it.
Finally, it is possible she currently, just a few weeks into all of this, still loves him and hopes he’ll come to his senses. Because of AG’s established pattern, she may very well believe her husband was blinded and seduced by a woman who wanted to see if she could get him to leave his wife for her. She may still see her marriage as a victim of a woman who met her, met her child, and still didn’t back off out of decency. In time, she’ll come to realize her husband was way more complicit and deserves a lot more blame, but it’s possible that in these first weeks and months, she still is dealing with aspects of the denial stage of grief. Very easy for us to judge from the outside, but it’s still actively happening to her.
So lots of potential reasons…
Mario, You made several good points.
All great points
Excellent points raised.
@Mario: Your point number 3 is by far the most terrifying. Are we back to the dark ages when might was right?
I usually agree that the jilted woman shouldn’t put all the blame on the other woman; her partner is the one who actively betrayed her and the vows that were made, not the OW. It’s also really unfair the way society stigmatizes and demonizes women for these things, while men so often get away with all of it scot-free.
That said, I’m willing to give Lilly a lot of leeway here. For starters, her baby isn’t even a year old yet; she’s still postpartum and I’m sure she’s in a very emotionally vulnerable place right now. I also side-eye any man who “breaks up” with his partner within the first year of having a kid. That mom has gone through so much and as a guy/father, it’s your job to step up and be understanding there.
Secondly, there’s the fact that Lilly has said that Ariana hung out with her and her baby several times and she thought they were friends—it’s one thing to have an affair with a married man, but to cozy up to his wife and make her think you’re friends too? That’s so low.
Third, there’s the fact that Lilly claims they’re lying; that she caught them cheating on the set back in April and that initially, the plan was for everyone to move past it and stay in their own relationships. This whole “they were already broken up” narrative, according to Lilly, is BS—and I can fully understand why a woman in her position would want to clap back and correct that in the most public way possible.
Lastly, to me, the biggest reason why Lilly deserves grace here is because Ariana is a superstar and she isn’t. Ariana is more famous than both of them, and she has the kind of money, social media clout/PR team, and rabid fandom to completely bend public perception to fit her own narrative and avoid being labeled a homewrecker. She can bury Lilly and her baby in this story and make it all about herself and her great new romance (and as we’ve already seen, Ariana’s team was very much leaning into that angle … until Lilly spoke out and went on record).
I can totally understand how, given all the other factors at play, Lilly would take the fight straight to Ariana and feel like she was doing it in defense of her baby and the family/dream that she lost while she is STILL postpartum. And IMO, Lilly’s completely in the right to be doing that.
@scorpiomom exactly this. Like, come on, Ariana was deeply predatory and borderline sociopathic here. And the fact that Ariana’s team is taking authorized swipes at this woman in the stake? What a disgusting bully.
Completely agree. It was always “Debbie Reynolds vs Liz Taylor!”, never “Eddie Fisher broke up his family by cheating” or “Jen vs Angelina!” never “Brad Pitt left his wife and used children to deflect criticism.”
This situation seems extra messy with a very young baby in the mix, and Ariana befriending the family before the affair. There’s a lot of blame to go around, and both of these fools blew up marriages for what surely will end up being a short lived fling.
I had a baby at around the same time as Lilly apparently did, and everything you wrote completely resonates with my reaction to this story, imagining if it was happening to me right now. It’s still a vulnerable time, even 10-11 months postpartum. Ethan must be a douchebag in my opinion. Just put your dick aside for a few more months, seriously!
@SaraTor — Not a mom, but I had a loss earlier this year and there were a lot of complications, and I’m still in a vulnerable place myself over all of it, which is why I think this story has really gotten to me as well.
The whole experience of pregnancy/etc. is immensely hard on women in ways that it just isn’t for men, and that doesn’t stop or go away just because the baby is finally born. Full recovery—physically and emotionally—can take a long time, and you’re in a pretty vulnerable state as that healing is underway. Having a caring, supportive partner not judge you for it and still be there to love you through it is huge and it’s a big way that men can step up and show their true worth, because yeah—the kid is half your responsibility, but during pregnancy and right after the birth? Supporting and loving the mom through the hard times as she heals is your job, too, because she had to carry all of the weight (literally) for all of you throughout the whole pregnancy.
I can’t help but look at this situation and feel immense empathy toward Lilly. And also, can’t help but think her partner wasn’t there for her, because he was busy flirting and hooking up with AG on the set, so Lilly didn’t get the support she deserved to still have after the birth. And he obviously was, because the baby isn’t even a year old yet and they’ve been supposedly dating for months now. And to me, that just makes a dude look like a deadbeat, and like utter scum.
AG is pathological at this point. She is clearly predatory in her romantic pursuits. The husband is a piece of you know what too. He’s a garden variety user, discarder, and cheater. They both are awful.
I agree that normally, a person shouldn’t blame the spouse’s side piece HOWEVER, in this situation I get why she is. Maybe I’m not paying close enough attention but I don’t think I’ve heard anything out of the husband and she’s probably giving him an earful behind the scenes. I had never even heard of him before this story broke so he may not have the kind of PR that Grande has. And Grande has definitely sent her PR team out in force over this. It’s almost a David and Goliath scenario bc like someone else said, Ariana has the resources and the fan base to completely whitewash this and bury the wife and child like they never even existed. She has the resources to spin this into a fairytale romance. Lilly is publicly taking this fight exactly where she should and I don’t think she’s giving her husband a pass. Ariana is getting the public fight since she’s the one trying to spin things publicly in the press and I’m sure the husband is getting the fight behind closed doors.
Jill – normally both parties SHOULD be blamed. It is just especially clear now. Side chicks know exactly what they are doing to their fellow women.
Personally, Ariana is to blame too in this case. Befriending Lilly, hanging out together with the baby and going behind her back with her husband knowing that she is married to the guy and just had a baby with him just shows us her true self and her real values. Gross
I really dislike the term “jilted woman” too —
My two cents — it was HER marriage, it is HER new baby, she is dealing with HER hormones post-partum and we shouldn’t be telling HER who to be pissed off at.
I am pretty certain this woman has enough anger, pain, betrayal etc. to go around — yes, she can absolutely crap on AG if she wants to and I hope she does to every single outlet that will give her space— the idea that “the jilted woman” should somehow need to be taking the high road here is laughable.
Concur. We need to stop infantilizing men- this was a grown man who made a set of decisions. He is the one who was cheating and/or messy.
Also, i do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. And i do think that when relationship are falling apart- they don’t do so at the same speed for both partners. Sometimes one person is like- its over but often they feel that but have not communicated that clearly to their partner because its really hard to say.
I am not saying that is what happened here, but i do think things are messy.
And i feel terrible for the new mom, so much going on, she has to be a new mom, reconstruct her identity as a woman and human in relation to being a mom. Hormones, body stuff, plus keeping that new human being alive and growing and well. To be abandoned during that time- in those first few years- is horrific.
“While Ariana is no way innocent in this, I never like when the jilted women blame the outside woman. Your husband didn’t fall innocently into her arms.”
Having dealt with infidelity, this is a really complicated topic for me. For most of known history, the standard was to blame “the other woman”. Always. Usually way more than the cheating spouse. And that was not ok, but it was done all the same.
Now, in more recent times, people are starting to recognize that it’s wrong and that the cheating spouse should get the brunt of the blame, as they are the one that broke the vows.
To further compound this, often, cheating spouses LIE. So if a person finds out they are being cheated on, they need to recognize that the affair “partner” may have bad info. Cheater may have said they were single, divorced, separated or in an open relationship. In those cases, they were being duped too and should not be blamed.
All that said, these days, I do see a lot more comments online that state “the affair partner owes you nothing, only your spouse owes you loyalty, they took the vows”. This statement is true on the surface. But I think that let’s some pretty shitty behaviour by an affair partner off the hook. My husband is an absolute fuckwit for cheating on me. 100%. But his affair partner knew he was married, and that he had a young child and continued to see him for SIX years while knowing his wife was not aware. She also begrudged me my life. He felt guilty and she hated that he wasn’t willing to just discard me. (And I wasn’t given a choice in the matter as I had no idea any of this was going on) Now that I am aware of the affair and my life has been upheaved with 20 years down the drain, I am trying to be a decent person. I am trying to get over it. To move on. And I am sorry, but it is hard. I try to not think about her, because when I do, I feel hatred and I don’t want to. But if I am being honest, yes, the thought of her makes me feel violent which is not who I normally am. (I won’t actually resort to violence but I truly hate having these “ickly” feelings at all)
Also, it’s easier to hate the affair partner, some stranger that has no bearing on your life OTHER than being part of something that caused you great pain. It can take longer to unravel the bad feelings you have for your cheating partner. Maybe not for everyone, but often a spouse is blindsided and it is hard to go from “I love you” to “#$%^ off forever” overnight. So often, the hurt does get channeled into focusing hate on the affair partner, because it’s there whether you want it to be or not, and it’s going to go somewhere.
In the case of Ariana, she spent time with the wife and baby. She commented on a post he wrote about his wife on mother’s day. That is really frigging shitty. Never mind that she was ALSO married. I think it’s fair to drag them both equally in this particular case.
And yes, chances are, they’ll be over in less than a year. It seems so senseless and stupid.
I absolutely get where you are coming from. My ex, previously known as “ the nicest guy in the world” discarded me after 20 years, the last three of which I had sacrificed enormously professionally and financially so he could have his “ dream job”, where he fell in love with his older, not very attractive and not very bright secretary. It was very frustrating, not only because I had wasted my youth on him, but because I believed people would take one look at her and assume I must be an Uber b*tch to have someone leave me for her. He literally gave a speech on the last day of his “ dream job” about how much I had sacrificed and done all the heavy lifting while juggling a demanding job in difficult economic times at his goodbye party. In FRONT OF HER. But it was “true love”
And then, defying common jump off platitude’s he married her. And stayed married to her. Did I blame him? Absolutely. I also didn’t play the victim , I looked long and hard at any mistakes I had made in the marriage. But I blamed her too. I had to deal with him because of shared kids ( but kept it to an absolute minimum) but I didn’t need to deal with her.
Fast forward 18 years and she dies quickly and unexpectedly. Three weeks after her funeral he takes a trip to another nearby city to “grieve” at a friends house. Two weeks later the idiot announces that “friendship had turned to love” on social media and that he was now engaged to the “friend” (and surprise surprise another work colleague, but a bit more equal in professional stature to his) . It was the ONLY time I ever felt sorry for wife number two. She had not even been dead six weeks.
“Ariana and Ethan didn’t do anything wrong” LOL!!!
Also: ““Ethan is trying to take the high road and hopes he can resolve this situation for the sake of their child.”
LOL how about not cheating on your wife and abandoning your child.
His high road looks more like skid row to me. This Howdy Doody looking creep will have his lies follow him the rest of his life. Good.
Yeah, more versions of, “We’re trying to be respectful of our spouses.” lol sure, OK. You are not doing that.
Yeah…they ditch protest too much. They did a LOT wrong and they just don’t like the consequences.
I don’t care who said vows. Both are EQUALLY responsible in my Personal view/ code of ethics. The nature of each was different but the betrayal is equal whether you’re the betraying partner or the outside person helping them betray the spouse.
I’m also sick of the insistence that Ethan and Lilly had been separated for 2 months. I’m interpreting this as they HAD been physically separated because he’s been filming, but now Ethan/AG are trying to spin that to mean they were formally separated. No, a spouse traveling for work doesn’t mean he’s “separated” from his wife.
Yup @minnieder. She went back to the States at that time with the baby which probably just made it easier for him to cheat.
These fools. This relationship won’t last and then Lilly will have the last laugh. I don’t blame her for talking. They’re trying to paint a false narrative of what happened. She has every right to fact check them. My guess is this will die I down in a couple of weeks and Ariana will (once Wicked is over) come back to America and then he’ll be the lone fool that he is.
All of this. I don’t necessarily think it will cost Ariana fans because she isn’t a family values country music star, but this relationship won’t last and her reputation is now messy.
It is annoying that this is being framed as basically a cat fight between the two women.
There’s a grown ass man in the middle of this who made the decision to cheat on his wife, launch a months long affair and abandon his home and family… including an infant child.
This isn’t just on Ariana being a turd.
There are TWO turds in the punch bowl and BOTH of them should be getting the flak on this.
This is a good point. A lot of the coverage I’ve seen has been pretty misogynistic in one way or another. And I get that Grande is the biggest name here, the reason it’s a story at all, and she’s a known menace, in terms of relationships. But nobody’s really interested in Slater’s role in this at all. Like he doesn’t have any agency here. He’s going to coast under the radar and a few months after their inevitable breakup, nobody will be talking about how messy he is.
You’re right; the coverage is so misogynistic!
I don’t think the coverage is misogynistic. Everything I read rips Ethan a new one.
Well he’s gonna read every nasty thing that people have said about him from his appearance to his infidelity so at least there’s some justice there. He’s gonna be missing that relative anonymity REAL soon.
I don’t see it as being framed that way. The press is absolutely shredding Ethan too, justifiably so.
Oh, Scumbob is definitely the biggest POS in this situation, moreso than Ariana. Dude was with his wife for 10 years and then—less than a year after having a baby with her—he’s suddenly done and we’re supposed to believe it was just a natural breakup and that it wasn’t because a rich, hot, internationally famous pop star started paying attention to him? Pfft.
He comes across like a huge slimeball in all of this. Regardless of which timeline you believe (Lilly’s or his/Ariana’s), it’s STILL messy AF to have a little baby at home and then within “two months” of your “breakup” with your wife/the mother of your child, suddenly you’re banging a coworker who you were definitely working with before your supposed “split”? The optics are horrible and it makes him look like a lousy father who prioritizes new girlfriends over his child and supporting the mother of said child.
But as we all know, this relationship won’t last long. And ultimately, he’s gonna be the biggest loser in all of it, which will be poetic justice. Ariana will bounce back just fine (she’s always been messy in love, her fans will forgive this), but I bet his career is pretty screwed after this, what with all the bad press/etc. Plus, he just destroyed a 10-year relationship to bang a pop star who will probably get bored of him in 6 months. In the process, he left the mother of his kid hanging out to dry, both literally and proverbially in the press. Lastly, his kid is gonna grow up and be able to Google all of this someday. I’m sure reading about how Dad abandoned Mom while she was still postpartum and chose a pop star over them is going to do a LOT of damage to that relationship.
Overall, karma is a B, and for this guy, it’s gonna be completely brutal. But he’s also got it coming, for abandoning his wife and kid like this, and all for a pop star who probably won’t even remember his name in 20 years.
I am shocked that nobody is commenting on how much Ethan looks like Ariana’s brother Frankie. There are some deep mental issues involved here. Also, this Ethan guy looks like a major narcissist. Have you noticed that every picture of him is the same? He is looking straight into the camera and whomever he is with is completely ignored. Of all the people involved in this shit stain of a love story, he will come out the worst. Ariana has a very loyal fan base who will always buy her music and attend her shows and Lily has the high ground morally. Dalton has not done anything that we know of to make him a villain and he will get sympathy. But this ugly Raggedy Andy looking man will always be known as the guy who abandoned his infant to grab at a superstar but ended up getting dumped a few months later and was left with nothing
People talk shit about him too, but in the end nobody cares about him as he’s not famous and Ariana is very famous.
Yuck to all of this. I hope Lilly-Jay gets a big settlment and drags both of them to the mud.
At some point, it will occur to Lilly Jay that she is better off without SpongeBob. This was bound to happen sooner or later, given what we now know about his character (it’s bad!). Hopefully, she will be able to get through this and take care of herself and the baby. I’m old enough to remember all the Debbie Reynolds-Liz Taylor drama which was quite similar to this. All the sympathy went to Reynolds. It took a long time for Taylor’s reputation to recover. Longer than her marriage to Eddie Fischer, if I recall. She just moved on to Richard Burton.
Cheating often happens because the cheater feels entitled to do so. It’s a selfish move. And generally selfish people aren’t great partners in other ways. You’re right, his character is flawed and the chance that he would have done this with someone else if not Ariana is highly likely.
So in many ways, it’s good the wife found out early and didn’t waste more time with this asshat. (I’m sure she is not feeling at all lucky at the moment, but I hope she gets there )
Good for Lily. I hope she keeps talking.
Ooh, I don’t really like the judgmental tone of her calling every news outlet to get her story out there. Why shouldn’t she? She has just as much right as Ari and Ethan to put her side out. Wonder if ariana is going to get her people to start threatening publications to not report on what Lily Jay is saying.
Cheaters hate consequences. The drive to control the narrative and blame shift onto the cheated-on partner are all classic cheater moves.
Shout the facts from the rooftops, get your financial ducks in a row, and focus on you and your child. Good luck to Lily!
You don’t like the judgment? Lol really? She just had her husband drop her like a hot potato while she’s postpartum and a woman pretend to befriend her and help her husband cheat on her. And they are trying real hard at pretending it’s just a normal breakup. Lol.
When people do shitty things, judgment is absolutely normal and appropriate.
@J
I think you misunderstood. Page six sounds judgemental of lilly contacting the press, yet Ariana is doing the same with a version of events that paint her in the most flattering light AKA lies.
Meg – ohhh I see now. My mistake
“Jay has been calling every news outlet to get this story out”
There is no way she wasn’t called by every news outlet for days. She probably just started to take the calls since Ariana’s team is lying about everything. Lily said she discovered the affair when she visited her husband on set in April and decided to move past it and work on her marriage, while taking care of their baby. There was a period of social media blocking between Ariana and Ethan in that same time. So, when his wife learned about the affair, they stopped. When she went back to USA, they resumed where they left off.
There is also very disgusting report that Ariana even held their baby and told them she wanted to start a family too. It is just mess. I don’t blame Lily trying to put the truth out there. Her baby will grow up and read all these lies one day otherwise.
Separated since 2 months because… he was probably on location? They were hanging out all together as friends, and ariana spent time with their baby. Really gross behaviour. Betrayal winner. Keep talking Lilly
Exactly. They were apart but not separated (same for Ariana and Dalton). He did a gushy Mother’s Day post about her in May. The timeline tells on them and they can’t change that.
Sometimes a spouse will agree to pretend that there was a “separation” to make the timeline seem less messy, especially when there are children involved. (See Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner.) It also saves some face for the wife. And who knows, there may even have been at least a tacit agreement to ignore brief, discreet infidelity.
Maybe Ariana thought Lily would get bullied into going along with this story. She guessed wrong.
There are conflicting stories. Ariana’s team is saying Slater and Jay were separated for two months. I’ve also read that Jay only found out a few days before the news broke — does that mean she was already separated and only found out about Ariana or did she find out she was separated two days before the news?
@Emily, the separation is the first story put out there by Ariana’s team to make things look like there was no cheating. Lily is now speaking to news outlets to correct the story. There was no separation. She found out about the affair when she visited her husband on set (in London) in April. Then, they decided to move past it. Eventually, she went back to USA and Ethan made a mother’s day post about her in May about how wonderful a mother and WIFE she is.
My understanding is there was no separation, Ethan was just working in another country and cheating on her. Before a few days the story got out, he finally told her the truth.
This sounds like a lot of speculation. Especially considering that Ariana was liking posts of Lily’s Instagram as late as May. I highly doubt if Lily knew about the affair in April that would have been happening.
@Ameerah, that was on the last reports. Probably it came from lily, since it is not positive for Ariana and Ethan. Also, there was social media blocking between Ariana and Ethan in that same time. There was posts about it from Ariana’s fans at the time. With that report, it is obvious that when the wife learned about the affair, they decided to end it and blocked each other on social media to put some space, which is, I admit, a speculation. That just makes sense timewise and I trust recent reporting more than the first ones since it was obviously a PR rollout.
Even if they were already separated for two months, what kind of man has a little baby at home and goes from a 10-year-long relationship to a new one in JUST two months without taking any real time off to just focus on being a single dad/navigating the divorce/etc.?
When you factor in that he’s spent much of that baby’s life on set filming in another country and thus not being a very hands-on dad, it just makes Lilly seem even more sympathetic. It’s not hard to imagine she was alone throughout those months of filming, handling all of the childcare alone while he worked on set. She probably thought at the time that it was a short-term sacrifice that would pay off for their family down the line, so it would be worth it. Instead, she finds out that while she was making these family sacrifices (and also still in postpartum recovery), he was on set hooking up with his famous costar?
No matter which way you slice it, Ariana and Ethan look horrible in this. Moral of the story: If you’re gonna chase after married men, maybe don’t chase after one with a baby that’s under a year old. No matter what you do or what kind of story you tell, the jilted mom is ALWAYS going to look like the more sympathetic party in the eyes of other people—not you.
Totally LeAnn Rimes-Eddie Cibrian-Brandi Granville vibes. Now all we need to hear is that Slater has been cheating with others too. And everyone gets a reality show!
Arianna is trash.
She literally has a song called Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I’m Bored (it’s terrible). I don’t think Lilly has to run to anyone, they’ll be coming to her for the inside scoop.
Imagine being this narcissistic. While I know Arianna is unlikely to be feeling any genuine shame, I do hope she is being advised that the world thinks she is trash and her career is taking a hard hit with each successive petulant action. I think this will be part of her demise.
Women have for too long stayed silent in these situations. I don’t think she is blaming one and not the other, but she’s making sure Ariana is held accountable, too. I read somewhere that Ariana had spent time with her and the baby on set. As someone who went through something similar, her partner is of course equally to blame for being stupid and callous, but there are people out there who are incredibly manipulative – will convince a weak person that their current relationship is lacking, pretend to be the shoulder to cry on, and have ulterior motives the whole time. I understand there’s a child involved, but suffering in silence benefits no one but the cheater(s). Kids eventually figure it out anyways.
Agreed Gracie. And yes, he is an astoundingly weak man.
It’ll be wild wake up call for Ethan in a few months when Ari dumps him. Can you imagine?! Leaving your partner of years and months old child, just to be set aside once the high wears off? I’m having schadenfreude already just thinking about it.
Can’t wait until Ariana leaves his Pee-Wee Herman, Howdy Doody mannequin looking ass in the dirt. She sure does like fugly men apparently.
Now now, let’s not drag Pee Wee’s name through the dirt. Pee Wee is actually cute! Howdy Doody is totally fair tho.
WHat a mess. Poor Lilly. Poor baby, who will eventually learn of all of this. Even if Lilly and Howdy get back together, it’s still out there forever.
My husband of 17 years cheated on me with his coworker. She was divorced at the time. I was enraged with both of them. Him, for obvious reasons. And Her, because what kind of woman gets involved with a married coworker. She was blatant, obvious, and flaunted it. She made the affair the talk of the office. We separated and divorced soon after I found out.
Call me vindictive, but when she remarried to someone else 2 years later,an anonymous message let her husband know the type of woman he married. The type of woman who has affairs with married men.
I don’t care if it looks like I was acting like a scorned woman. I would do it again. She had a role in messing with my marriage. Payback is a b!tch
All this for a man child who looks like he drank some well deserved poisonous witch brew and never fully recovered. Smh
OMG. 😀
I would have a difficult time with his little yellow peg teeth.
She’s has the right to be furious at Ariana, but uh I think it’s weird that her comments seem to be putting almost all the blame on Ariana.
Ariana sucks, and I could even see finding both her and the husband equally guilty. But the “family is Ariana’s collateral damage” and the “story is Ariana” thing is just dumb. Ariana didn’t come in and ruin her family on her own, her husband and father of her child’s wandering dick did that…and the story isn’t Ariana but Ariana and her creepy husband.
Then again, it’s very typical for people to put all the or most of the blame on the other woman or man as it’s easier to do that than to face that someone you loved betrayed your horribly. And I’m sure someone will say I’m defending Ariana-I’m not-but I am saying that no, she’s not “mostly” responsible for this mess. She’s at best equally responsible.
Imagine, though, that you looked like that man and someone who has the looks and talent of Ariana is interested in you. 99% of men would see that as an opportunity too good to pass up. And that’s why Ariana does it. She’s aware of the effect she has and she loves it (which is why this relationship will end very quickly once she’s had her fill). She bears a responsibility not to manipulate people that way but instead she leans into it because she enjoys having the upper hand in an extreme power imbalance.
This framing is…..ehhhh kinda problematic. We shouldn’t be promoting the idea that men have zero self-control around beautiful women. Men don’t somehow lose their agency or their will to be faithful simply because a pretty woman shows interest in them. It’s a CHOICE–a willful choice–to betray your partner and family.
I really hate this false notion that men are just wild animals unable to control their impulses–it puts an unfair responsibility on the woman while excusing away the man’s gross behavior.
(someone who understands what I’m saying but is a better writer than me will hopefully chime in lol…Otakufairy?)
I mean, sure, I get why you feel that way. The reality is though that most men are sexual opportunists. Can we please not act as though they don’t treat women terribly in the name of sexual opportunism? I mean, cmon. Our lives are so deeply affected by it, must we pretend they don’t actually do that? I’m not saying men don’t have agency, but their egos will definitely lead them to believe they deserve an “upgrade”.
But I mean….no??? Like, are there men who don’t treat monogamy seriously or marry for the wrong reasons or lack impulse control? SURE. But it’s both ridiculous and patently untrue to say that all men are “sexual opportunists”. I mean, if women actually believed that then we would never trust our partner and we would never get married because what’s the point if the presumption is that men are incapable of keeping their dicks in their pants? And the underlying supposition in that framing is that women aren’t faced with the same temptations; that we’re not sexual beings or that we are, but we posses the impulse control that men do not—which is also an old trope.
You make it sound as if monogamy is an unreasonable expectation of men and no, I just don’t agree with that.
I agree, Kitten. Not all men are dicks. And the argument that men will follow any opportunity placed in front of them is, to me, the same kind of logic used by fundamentalist religious cults. “Women need to wear long, plain dresses and hide their hair because that way, men won’t be tempted to rape them.” In other words, it’s your fault if you get raped, because men can’t control their primal urges when they can see “too much” of a woman’s body.
@ Granger-MTE!! I tried not to veer too far of course but this framing really does open up a whole can of worms regarding how our society views female sexuality. We are not temptresses and men are not victims of our feminine wiles. And I realize that’s not what H was saying (truly, I do)–but it’s a slippery slope once you start introducing that age old trope…
Hear, hear, Kitten!
This is a tired old trope that totally gives men a pass. I had a serious breakdown in my marriage but even then, cheating was never a part of it (on either side, even though we were both suffering). Cheaters cheat – men and women. Men do not get a pass because they “can’t help” themselves. This is a toxic and harmful narrative.
The logical conclusion of “men are sexual opportunists” is basically hijab. No. Men have agency (so much agency!) and should be held responsible for their choices and actions. (I’m not criticizing people who wear hijab, mind – I’m just saying that the essential reasoning behind it is that men are sex mad so women must cover up.)
I had a boyfriend a while back who, when we’d go out we’d both point out hot people we saw to each other. It’s totally possible to appreciate a beautiful person without making an ass (or a dog) of yourself.
To be honest, I was a little shocked the guy isn’t better-looking. That’s a shallow comment to make, and I don’t think that Ariana Grande being beautiful is to blame, but I couldn’t believe she was throwing her reputation away for someone who looks like him.
The guy being hot doesn’t make the cheating less bad , but from a superficial standpoint it does kind of make it a little more plausible? … uh … sort of. Not sure what word I would use here…
Anyway, I can’t get over how this guy looks, which is probably why I’m more puzzled by this cheating scandal than other cheating celebrity scandals. He’s very goofy-looking. Although I guess Ariana Grande has always had unconventional taste in men…
Maybe my shock at Ariana’s choice here is similar to everyone’s shock when Charles chose Camilla over Diana. There are some choices where the initial reaction is “hmm…that’s unusual…”
The blame is equal. I think the comments are justifiably harsh towards Arianna because she has a clear sociopathic pattern and gets off on mate-poaching, repeatedly, no matter who the man is.
It makes perfect sense. They’re going to be in court soon and any divorce lawyer worth their salt will tell Lily to keep the disparaging comments about her ex to a minimum. At least, not any quotes attributed directly to her.
Ever since I learned about this, I’ve had Heart’s “Who will you run to” playing in my head.
It astounding this asshat blew this marriage for a fling.
I feel terrible for Lilly.
Something I’ve been thinking about, I wonder if SpongeBob didn’t really want to be a parent (but told her otherwise) and felt trapped/overwhelmed by it. That’s NO EXCUSE for what he did. He should have ended the relationship with Lilly if they wanted different things as far as family go.
OR
The baby became Lilly’s main priority and SpongeBob didn’t like being the second most important person in his wife’s life. Even though the kid should have been his first priority as well. His ego couldn’t handle it.
OR
He thought he was on the verge of becoming a big star and Ariana Grande wanted to sleep with him so he just said EFF IT!
OR
All three of the above.
I’ve seen all three happen before.
I hope the his eventual crash will be spectacular.
I suspect it’s a combination of all three.
The kid was born in August of last year; that’s the same month that rehearsals for Wicked started in England, and then filming was fully underway by early December. Lilly and the baby live in the US, so there’s a good chance he was barely around for the first several months of the kid’s life anyway and Lilly was responsible for the bulk of the childcare.
Maybe the kid became her main priority because he was away for so long. Maybe he didn’t want to be a dad to begin with; or maybe he just never fully bonded with the baby because he was in the middle of this project and wasn’t able to spend much time with them. Either way, he definitely got to know Ariana during rehearsals and filming, and that’s how they fell for each other (all sources seem to confirm this too).
All together, it paints a picture of a dude who wasn’t around much after his wife had their first baby, and who then chose to prioritize his career and budding relationship with AG over being a dad and being a good spouse to his partner of 10 years.
Cannot believe I see a suggestion that her being an attentive mom with her BABY her main priority as somehow being “to blame”
Babies ARE the priority. this is not the stage of childhood where the partners can easily put each other first, nor should they.
Cheaters are fully responsible for their actions. He should have protected his marriage and his child’s stability while HE chose to work away from his young, vulnerable family.
@J — I mean, I agree with you. But men have ABSOLUTELY been using that excuse for centuries to justify why it’s OK to cheat on their wives after they have a baby. It’s not ridiculous IMO to humor it as a possible “reason” why he did it and why he felt it was “justified.”
It doesn’t make it morally defensible in any way, but I would not be shocked if that was his excuse and what he uses so he can sleep at night. Also, it’s in no way meant as an insult against Lilly or to put the blame on her; any dude who believes it’s a valid excuse for cheating is just outing himself as a selfish creep who deserves to lose his family and get dragged publicly for it.
J, I don’t anyone was suggesting Lilly being an attentive mother and their child are “to blame”. I know I wasn’t.
What’s being said (at least from me) is that when the realities of being a parent set in and bring about changes in a relationship (like priorities), many partners (usually men) check out because they’re no longer the main focus. It’s not a valid excuse of their actions (but they love to use it as such). There is no excuse for what they’ve done.
This is completely on the individuals who step away from their families like this. They need to own it.
No I don’t agree. They were together for 10 years, I would be pretty sure it was a planned pregnancy. And why would he feel `trapped/overwhelmed’ when she was the one taking care of the kid while he was living the career opportunity of his lifetime?
As I wrote he could have told her he wanted children but when the pregnancy hit, the reality of what parenthood entails may have hit him in the face and this was how he reacted. Having a child also changes a marriage and I’ve seen partners (especially men) check out once they see they’re no longer the main focus of their spouse
I’m NOT saying he was right to do so. Cheating is never right.
That’s just one possibility as I see it.
Lilly and her child ARE NOT to blame or a cause for his actions in any way. SpongeBob needs to own his shit. Lilly and her child are victims in this.
I think more likely he’s just a massive A-HOLE whose ego got too big and this thing with Ariana was new and exciting so he destroyed the best thing that ever happened to him..
Isn’t Ariana the girl that gets carried around all the time? He doesn’t look strong enough. It won’t last long.
He looks like a haunted puppet.
Lol, you’re reminding me of a Twilight Zone episode where the guy is a ventriloquist and his dummy is alive and will kill anyone who stands in the way of his own superstardom, including the ventriloquist.
You know, that is EXACTLY what he reminds me of!
Hopefully, for her sake, Lilly stop’s talking soon. I remember the backlash Liberty Ross got after her husband cheated on her with Kristen Stewart, People attacked Liberty in the comments because she kept talking about what happened. She got attacked for not divorce her husband right away, and she was slut shamed for many reasons one being a catsuit Halloween costume.
Weird. I thought Liberty handled everything like a queen and most of the public backlash went toward Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders. Then Liberty prospered after the split (her true karmic reward) and her cheating husband could barely get any work for years because of the reputational damage.
Also, I’d say the situations are somewhat different. While both Rupert and Kristen were in relationships, there was a big age gap and power differential (director vs. actress) between them, which sort of helped Kristen’s team spin it as a youthful mistake. Also, there’s the fact that Liberty wasn’t actively postpartum as the affair was going on; her and Sanders had kids together, but she wasn’t actively still taking care of a little baby and recovering from a birth/pregnancy too. For most women (at least those who have experienced pregnancy/etc), that’s enough to make the jilted woman seem deeply sympathetic and the cheaters seem like the scum of the earth.
I agree I thought she handled it well and put most of the blame were it should be on her now ex husband.
If you search Liberty Ross name on this site because I know it was worst one other sites and click on the different post especially the ones in 2013 early 2014 you see how vile the comments were towards her.
Lilly is fine. I think the blame is being shared equally and she’s just responding to questions from the press that are more geared toward AG.
Blame is equal on both cheaters
Good for Lilly for speaking out and not being silenced by that insecure Thumbelina-ass troll and her team.
Lilly is a PhD and has spoken at the White House, had a whole audience with the president. She will be fine. That hobgoblin she married will get his comeuppance.
Wow, Lilly is beautiful. Seriously naturally gorgeous.
I know she’s in a lot of pain right now, but she’s going to be ok in the end, at least I hope so anyway.
She’s smart and she’s said what she needed to say. Let Ariana and this troll doll die mad about it.
I know he no longer owns the rights but I wonder how Gregory Maguire feels about all of this fuckery. I also wonder if the production team for Wicked is flipping out about how this might affect ticket sales because for me at least it is enough to keep me from seeing it.
I agree Sass she is beautiful. How did he ever even get her to begin with? She is a natural beauty and she radiates warmth and light. I don’t know her but in her pictures she is striking. What a jackass to treat his wife and baby like this. He deserves all the dragging he is getting. I hope she never ever takes him back. Everyone is now on notice as to who he is – won’t help his dating life much when Ari dumps his ass.
One lesson that is underscored here, to me, is…..just don’t go after married men. It rarely ends wells. Often the man will say he is going to leave his wife, but doesn’t do it in the end. Or he does, but both of their reputations suffer because people side with the wronged wife. As they should, especially if they have young children.
Have more self worth. Spend time alone. Don’t do something that turns another woman’s life upside down, and potentially hurts the kids, if there are any. Be a decent person.
My father had a four-year affair with a co-worker. She was younger, though not by that much. When we found out, my oldest sister was about 27 and I was 21. So we weren’t little, but it still hurt. I was mostly just angry and hurt on my mother’s behalf.
My parents had a fundamentally strong, long-standing marriage that had hit a rough patch. They went into therapy, my father ended the affair and they worked things out and stayed together. I do understand how people can get past these things when they choose to and want to. But I was angry with my father for at least five years after that. I got past it and we had a very strong bond for years until he died. And I understood that these things are complicated.
Ari and Dalton didn’t have quite as much skin in the game as Ethan and Lily did, but I’m sure he was still very hurt. Lily? She has every right to tell her story to whoever will listen. Ari is trying to make cheating sound like “these things happen.” But they don’t just happen. They were adults and they made a choice, a choice that left a woman with a new child feeling blindsided and abandoned.
I think she’s better off without him. But if I were her, I would go quietly either.
Here’s the other thing I just don’t get: Even assuming AG and Ethan have something real and genuine here, it’s not like Lilly is going away any time soon. No matter what the future holds, that guy still has a kid with her; she is always going to be in his life.
AG unleashing her whole team on Lilly like this and setting them into attack mode is just really short-sighted of her and says so much about her own narcissism, youth, and entitlement. It’s like, yeah girl, we know you’re in love with love and you think you’re a princess and every guy you like is Prince Charming … but this Prince Charming had a baby with someone else before you came along, and that baby is always going to tie him to that woman you’re now attacking. Also, if you actually love and care for him, you should care about his relationship with his kid and not be making it harder by actively having your press team attack the kid’s mother.
All AG’s reaction here tells me is that she’s far too selfish to be the partner of someone with a child. She’s used to being the center of attention and being a man’s only focus; she still views other women as competition for male attention and that’s how she’s treating Lilly. She’s not ready to put herself second to a baby and be gracious for the greater good. She’s completely focused on her own needs and reputation—and she’s having her team attack because Lilly’s narrative throws a wrench in her own happily-ever-after one and makes her look really bad. It doesn’t seem like she cares at all about the damage it will surely do to this guy’s relationship with his kid, which is another reason to suspect this relationship will not last long.
“These things are complicated”
No, that is the only thing I disagree with in what you said. I’m glad your dad and mom got back together, but cheating is a choice and it is not complicated. Cheaters just very much hope to make it seem so to obscure their culpability.
The act of cheating is simple but people’s motivation to cheat can be complex when you start to consider personal/family history, relationship dynamics, work/home dynamics, the individual feelings of both people involved etc etc.
I think that’s what AnneL was saying.
Oh, I’m not saying it was OK. I’m saying that I understand how some couples can survive an affair and go on to have a strong or maybe even stronger marriage. My parents were dealing with a lot of stress because my oldest sister had a chronic serious illness that had some behavioral problems as a side issue. The problems didn’t go away with age, and her health grew worse. They also had some financial problems. My father was entirely in the wrong to deal with that by cheating. He admitted as much, which was part of the therapeutic process. And he really did spend the rest of his life trying to be a better husband and father.
Won’t be seeing this pile of trash and sponge Bob what an idiot she’s gonna dump him and he’s ruined he looks like howdy doody lol poor Jennifer Coolidge being adjacent to this mess
So pathetic Ari. It’s crazy how Ari and Tay Tay absolutely LOST their damn minds over these shit cookie dumpster dwelling men. Maybe climate change is boiling their brains. Gross.
Ariana totally bought the whole “he couldn’t handle her fame” narrative from Taylor. But if anyone is happy with this story it’s got to be Tay cause we all forgot about her trash rebound.
I’m not saying Ariana is innocent in all of this (OBVIOUSLY) but I’m kind of side-eyeing the way the media is pitting these two women against one another and the man seems to get a pass. Like someone else up-top said, it’s giving Debbie Reynolds vs. Elizabeth Taylor and Jennifer Aniston vs. Angelina Jolie.
Not that it’s ever ok to break up a marriage or a family but I think it’s pretty obvious that Ari has experienced serious tragedy that has seriously affected the way she views relationships. Girlfriend needs to lay low and go to therapy.
I’m definitely still going to see Wicked though. Ariana has a beautiful voice and I love the book and music. I didn’t stop seeing Liz Taylor movies and I didn’t stop seeing Angelina Jolie movies. I can appreciate the performance independent of the person (unless we’re talking about someone like Kevin Spacey, Weinstein, R. Kelly, etc.). Just my take.
People can divorce in kind ways. Cheaters should be held fully responsible for their behavior. Interlopers also should be fully responsible for their behavior.
Betrayed partners are never to blame. Good people and bad people, ugly and beautiful people are cheated on all the time. The onus is on the betrayer and the interloper.
I side-eye your comment:
“I think it’s pretty obvious that Ari has experienced serious tragedy that has seriously affected the way she views relationships. Girlfriend needs to lay low and go to therapy.”
Sounds like you’re trying to make excuses for her sh*tty behavior, and for her going after a married man, which it is never okay to go after someone else’s partner. Can’t wait for karma to come work her magic on AG.
It takes two !
Cheating takes two. Being the person betrayed – does not take 2. It is a lonely place, it is a terrible victimization.
I’m talking about the fact the blame is not solely on Ariana. Her ex-husband is equally to blame. It takes two. I’m not talking about Lilly as a victim. Of course she’s the victim in this situation.
Having been through a similar situation many years ago, I blamed both my partner and the woman who had an affair with him. She was a client of his (he was a lawyer) and he handled her divorce. He suggested I make friends with her because she was going through a tough time post-divorce so we’d have her over for dinner or go out to socialize, all the time they were sleeping together. When I found out I was gutted, stabbed in the back by both my partner and the woman who was supposedly my friend. Of course I moved out immediately and wrote a letter to that woman I’m sure she’s never forgotten. My anger was directed at them equally and I’m sure Lilly’s wrath is directed at them both equally. But she is definitely the one taking the high road, not her munchkin of a husband and his press-hungry jump-off. Sickening…
I’m sure this has already been mentioned, but… he looks EXACTLY like AG’s brother!!
J says:
You are 100% right. I completely agree with all that you said.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. There is no denying her talent, but this is who Ariana is as a person. She is not some naive schoolgirl. The woman is thirty years old and has done the same thing over and over again and seems to not care who she hurts. I don’t know, maybe her baby act fools people. As for him, he’s a dirtbag and the only positive is his wife found out now and didn’t waste more years with him. It shows he would have done this with Ariana and anyone else.
There is nothing complex about checking. Cheating is a choice. You choose to be a deceitful person, and do a slimy thing. You’re choice is an ugly one, and I have no doubt that you will be judged for your decisions when it comes to judgement day.
Both he and she are guilty for doing this to their significant others. I’m not choosing sides. They Ariana and Ethan are dirty dogs in my eyes.
It’s sad because he probably broke up his family forever, all for a fling that’ll probably last a few months… if that. It’s easy to say his wife will be better off without him, but the reality is divorce is heartbreaking and messy and there’s so much collateral damage. They both suck for doing this.
Separated for TWO MONTHS my a**. Slater was still best friends with his wife two months ago, as per his IG Mother’s Day tribute post to her.
Ariana “liked” that Mother’s Day post ! I mean damn. Also, there are pics of Ariana and Ethan together on Ariana’s 30th bday which was June 26 (weeks before they made their relationship public).
I tend to solely blame the cheater who was actively in a relationship when they began an emotional or physical affair but Ari has never been with a man who didn’t leave his woman for her. Literally every relationship she’s ever publicly had started with him being in a relationship.
He will very soon realize what he did. Ari will play victim, recover, probably earn a lot writing about it. He will always be a dumbass who thought the hot girl was serious about him and ruined his private life and probably a career. Pool wife and baby, I feel for them so much. Cannot imagine being abandoned so soon after pregnancy and giving birth to someone’s child. Awful.
There should be increased societal delineation between a father and a sperm donor.
Poor wife, Lilly Jane. Her cheating husband will regret this decision. Grande will move on to another man soon enough. Probably snagging another woman’s man as is Grande’s pattern. Some women love the challenge that comes with breaking up another woman’s relationship. Lilly Jane’s husband will be left without his childhood sweetheart and will have given up being in his son’s life every day. For what? A few months or maybe a year of believing he is Grande’s true love.
He is not that bright since her relationships in the past didn’t last that long, so ditching his wife and baby knowing in the long run he’ll be right being single in a year and a half is totally mental.
There is no honor in taking up a married/involved persons interest in becoming the side piece….
You might not see the need to respect someones else’s marriage vows but at least respect yourself
He may have believed his profile would be raised in the movie business from whatever happens with Ariana. It is, but not in any positive way.
I’m not going to let this affair stop me from seeing “Wicked.” I don’t think that would be fair to the other actors who didn’t cheat! This is a big break for Jonathan Bailey, for example. I would hate for the numbers to be impacted negatively just because two members of the cast acted like jerks.
I also went to see “West Side Story” despite Ansel Elgort’s issues. Spielberg didn’t know about them when he was cast. It was a great movie and if Elgort hurt the box office numbers, I feel sorry for the other actors about that.
Ariana just loves being the girl that gets guys to dump their girlfriends or wives for her. You’d think she has enough clout and praise in her life and career that she wouldn’t have to get her jollies by breaking up relationships.
How is this guy getting those girls?
Wow she’s prettier than I expected
Also shades of Julia Roberts and Danny Moder when they got together
The latest story is him (or ag’s pr team) saying to TMZ he wants to co-parent. My take on this is: Ariana saw this nice loving family unit, held their cute baby, and decided she wanted it for herself. Not in the aspirational way, like “oh, I want to have a family like that too”. No, she literally wants to replace the wife/mother, Lilly. That’s why she’s probably bankrolling his divorce lawyers and also manipulating him to demand co-parenting. She wants to play mom and wife. Until she realizes that actually entails commitment, sacrifice, and real love and devotion. Things she simply isn’t capable of. It’s just as sinister as that.
That latest TMZ story is truly sickening. It’s all “Lilly said this to Ethan, she said that”. She probably didn’t say any of those things. Like she not knowing what “on the record” means. What the…?! How insulting. I read somewhere girl has a phd!!
Imagine being a college sexual assault survivor, studying hard, becoming an advocate, giving a speech at the White House, being kind, beautiful and gracious while doing all of that. They must have had a strong bond, her and Ethan, at least for some time during the 10 years they were together. He must have supported her emotionally. To have all that with someone and then so utterly betray it.. disrespect your love and your history together. And to do so in full public view.
It enrages me, and I don’t even have a stake in this. I feel so gutted for Lilly Jay and her baby boy. I truly hope she has very good divorce lawyers who will use everything that’s happening now to her and the baby’s advantage. And that means: absolutely no co-parenting. At least not for the immediate future. The son needs a continuous stable presence in his young life. That’s Lilly. It sure as hell is not that sorry excuse for a father or that Ariana Grande person.
Hi Ethan, sure hope your time-limited affair with Ms. Grande will have been worth all of this mess to you. My hope for Lilly is that she’ll grieve her considerable losses here as long as she needs to, then down the road will toast you for freeing her up to live her best life without you. Meanwhile, dig way down deep and locate a shred of decency to tell your new love to quit trashing your ex. Then find another few shreds to show up for your child as a good dad should. Thank u, next
I think the headline about Ariana giving that guy space now is code for “she sees no one is buying her new fairytale and wants to dump him already.”
I would love for her to end this toxic, budding relationship, though I think it is too late for their reputations. I hope they are filled with regret professionally and personally.
Please help me understand how he managed to get two beautiful women. Does he have magic unicorn peen? I don’t get it.
Read Jeannette McCurdy’s book and AG seems to be a major diva.