The other day, I realized that in the Saga of Elno and Lizard Boy (credit to the commenter who made the “Elno, typo and it stays” joke the other day), Elon Musk is comparable to Ron DeSantis and Mark Zuckerberg is coming out of this looking like Disney. We don’t want to root for either of them, but push comes to shove, everyone but the Blue Check Bros (they’re the MAGAs in this comparison) is rooting so hard for Musk to get his ass kicked that we don’t care who takes him down.
The cage match drama may be finally coming to an end, though. We last left off with Musk trying to rent an Italian Colosseum to fight jiu-jitsu lover Zuck sometime after he’s healed from a shoulder surgery that he allegedly needs. Zuck responded by saying Musk “isn’t serious” and that it was “time to move on.” Well, guess which very mature owner of multiple companies had to escalate things by threatening to show up at his opponent’s house?
Mark Zuckerberg says he is out of town after Elon Musk said he would drive a Tesla to the Facebook CEO’s home in the hope he could fight the tech billionaire.
Mr Musk took to X, the site formerly known as Twitter, to detail his latest plans to try and fight with the Facebook founder after Mr Zuckerberg cancelled it saying that his rival was not serious about the bout.
“Knock, knock … challenge accepted … open the door @finkd,” tweeted Mr Musk on Monday.
And he added: “For the Tesla FSD test drive in Palo Alto tonight, I will ask the car to drive to @finkd’s house.
“Will also test latest X livestream video, so you can monitor our adventure in real-time! If we get lucky and Zuck…actually answers the door, the fight is on!”
And in a follow-up post, he took more shots at his tech rival for ditching the contest.
“(Zuck thread coming soon about how he would of course love to fight anytime, but blah blah UFC something something)” he wrote.
But a spokesperson for Mr Zuckerberg says that Mr Musk’s journey would be pointless as the Meta boss was not even there.
“Mark is traveling right now and isn’t in Palo Alto. Also, Mark takes this sport seriously and isn’t going to fight someone who randomly shows up at his house,” the spokesperson told The Verge.
Of course, after he found out that Zuck wasn’t home, Musk did what Musk does and went on Twitter X to blame and taunt him for being a grown-up person about the whole thing. The maturity oozes through Lonnie like pudding through Ronnie’s fingers.
[A]ccording to Elon, Zuck just flat-out didn’t want to do it.
“Zuck declined,” Musk said emphatically.
That’s when he said he offered to fight in Zuckerberg’s backyard Octagon instead.
“I suggested his home as ‘safe space,'” Musk said. “Tragically, he was ahem ‘traveling.'”
Again, how unlikeable do you have to be to make Mark Zuckerberg look like a reasonable adult? I know Elon isn’t capable of embarrassment, but it’s all so cringe that I think I may be getting second-hand embarrassment for him. Can you imagine if he had actually shown up at his house?! That would have been so unhinged, but then again, unhinged chaos is Elno’s thing.
So, I know I said earlier that this is likely where our story ends, but honestly, when it comes to Elon Musk, who the eff even knows anymore? We may be stuck with this nonsense until he finds another shiny object or person to annoy that make him forget all about this noise. Until then, Team Zuckermouse, I guess.
photos credit: Backgrid and via Instagram
Next time, I do hope Zuckermouse is there, along with a police crew to arrest Lonnie
“Lonnie”!!!!!
I’m howling 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Musk is another Trump. Twisting the narrative to suit what he wants the story to be. Too scared to fight MZ.
Elmo is an unmedicated bipolar person (he has said he is bipolar in an interview- unmedicated is my way of making sense of his assholery).
But please,men, lecture us about being emotional, petty, and not letting sh@t go. Did someone ask Elno if it was that time of the month?
Two big fools if you ask me.
If Zuckerberg were a reasonable adult, he wouldn’t have entertained this stupid match in the first place. Both of them are stuck in early adolescence.
@Eurydice The only thing that I think Zuck has done right lately is calling out Elno on his nonsense. The only way to deal with grandiose idiots like Musk and Trump is to call their bluff. The prior ownership of Twitter did it to their financial benefit and it really exposed that Musk is not a business genius the mythology would portray. I think this does the same exposing Musk as reckless and feeble.
A billionaire businessman who controls a major chunk of the world’s social media does not need to be calling anyone’s bluff. This was a dick-measuring PR stunt and it made them both look like idiots – different kinds of idiots, but still idiots.
“Elon is incapable of embarrassment”. This was today’s epiphany for me. He doesn’t see himself as who he is and that’s why– WOW.
I think he’s divulged that he has mild Autistic Spectrum Disorder, aka Asperger’s Syndrome.
So? I assure you people with ASD can and do feel embarrassed when they act like fools. Let’s leave diagnoses out of it. He’s just entitled.
I really resent that Elno is making me root for Mark Zuckerberg. I agree that it’s exactly like DeSantis and Disney. I also resent rooting for a giant corporation.
A pox on both their houses.
Elon has some serious arrested development. If I didn’t know how old he was, I would swear from his actions that he was 13.
It was recently pointed out to me that the Tesla model names spell S3XY and it all fell into place.
At this point, someone’s mother needs to step in, put them both in time out (in separate corners) then make them shake hands and apologize.
Otherwise, no social media for either of them. FOR A MONTH!
Is that a Satanic symbol on the front of Musk’s costume? Just saying’ . Could explain a lot.
I think Satan would like to be excluded from this narrative.
The one and only Chuck Tingle calls him Elno Mork and it’s appropriate. Related title: “The Physical Manifestation of Twiddor’s Rapid Descent into Chaos Thanks to Inept Management from a Manbaby Edgelord Pounds Me in the Butt” 😀
Team Neither One. Since Zuckerburg owns a lot of land in Hawaii I wish he’d stop talking about his athletics and match Bezos’ 100M for Maui.
Seriously, Elno must have THE smallest dick in creation.
Not a fan of both. Zuckerberg knows about disinformation his SM sites cause but doesn’t want to do anything about it. Musk is getting more and more mental crazy each day.