Britney Spears ‘couldn’t take the pain anymore’ of her marriage to Sam Asghari

Britney Spears’ communication of choice these days is through her Instagram. For months now, she responds to articles and gossip on IG, plus she films herself dancing and posing a lot. Well, Britney decided to do all of the above to respond to Sam Asghari filing for divorce. In a video where she was dancing around, she posted this message:

“As everyone knows, Hesam and I are no longer together … 6 years is a long time to be with someone so, I’m a little shocked but … I’m not here to explain why because its honestly nobody’s business !!! But, I couldn’t take the pain anymore honestly !!!

In some sort of telepathic way I have been receiving so many messages that melt my heart from friends and I thank you !!! I’ve been playing it strong for way too long and my Instagram may seem perfect but it’s far from reality and I think we all know that !!! I would love to show my emotions and tears on how I really feel but some reason I’ve always had to hide my weaknesses!!!

If I wasn’t my dad’s strong soldier, I would be sent away to places to get fixed by doctors !!! But that’s when I needed family the most !!! You’re supposed to be loved unconditionally … not under conditions !!!! So I will be as strong as I can and do my best !!! And I’m actually doing pretty damn good !!! Anyways have a good day and don’t forget to smile !!!

[From Britney’s IG]

“If I wasn’t my dad’s strong soldier, I would be sent away to places to get fixed by doctors” made me wince. This situation is so comparable to Kanye West, in that they are both surrounded by people who aren’t in the position to get Kanye and Britney the help they need. Meanwhile, TMZ had this update, because they’re very focused on the money (and advocating for Sam):

Britney Spears will not have to ante up any money to estranged husband Sam Asghari, at least based on their prenup, but our sources say there’s a big reason she’ll feel compelled to write him a substantial check. Sources with direct knowledge of the prenup tell TMZ … Sam gets no payout in the event of divorce. In addition, the prenup precludes him from getting spousal support. He can keep the gifts Britney gave him and his cars, but that’s about it.

Our sources say there’s an “extensive confidentiality clause” in the prenup, prohibiting Sam from talking about his relationship with Britney. So on the surface, it seems Sam’s getting nothing of significance, but that’s not the case.

As we reported, Sam’s lawyer, Neal Hersh, filed divorce docs which ask for spousal support. Given the prenup precludes such support, Hersh’s move signals a challenge to the prenup. There are other elements of the divorce filing suggesting a challenge … writing about community and quasi-community property.

[From TMZ]

Again, the focus on money is so strange to me in this particular case. Britney’s father financially abused her for years and likely embezzled millions from her fortune. Britney has been paying Kevin Federline millions in support for like fifteen years. There isn’t some vast fortune which Sam wants a slice of. Don’t get me wrong, I think Britney will probably cut him a check as well, but it won’t be a major or significant settlement.

Photos courtesy of Britney’s IG.

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85 Responses to “Britney Spears ‘couldn’t take the pain anymore’ of her marriage to Sam Asghari”

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  1. heygingersnaps says:

    I hope Britney gets the help that she needs but I doubt that it will be easy. Some of her posts on Instagram are a bit disturbing. Just a tragic situation, I won’t be surprised if she goes back to her dad and old handlers.

    • Eleonor says:

      I find her Instagram disturbing.
      When she got free I thought that she had to learn how to live outside that cage, and that she needed help for all the abuse she suffered. Unfortunately I think she might have surrounded herself with synchopants, because she doesn’t trust anyone.
      I’d like to say this divorce is unexpected, but it isn’t: this woman needs professional help, and while I don’t like Sam, I think he didn’t have an easy life.
      Everything is so sad.

      • Escondista says:

        Britney isn’t okay at all; Her Instagram is erratic and unbalanced. Every 13 year old I know has more discretion. Her family did her so dirty.

    • Baily says:

      She is obviously so mentally ill. She still dresses like a 90s teenager, and that eye makeup just makes me sick. It’s so tragic and weird. Her husband put up with a lot of insanity, I’m sure. And here’s the thing–she won’t get well unless she wants to, and unless she has actual true, honest people who care about her in a real way to help her.

      • heygingersnaps says:

        Yes, she needs to come to that decision herself and at the same time have the right people around her who can provide support and not abuse her. It’s just awful and tragic. =(

      • Sushiroll says:

        @Baily: What a concern troll post. HeR eye MaKeUp MaKeS mE sIcK. You can say what you want to say without attacking her appearance, you know. A woman being mentally ill is not a green light to go ahead and attack her looks.

        This is no better than when people were calling her “f**king ugly” back in her 2007 shaved head crisis. The rampant misogyny and abuse hasn’t changed at all.

      • Satish More says:

        Sushi Roll,

        Geez! Over react, much?? How is criticizing someone’s makeup, which is a CHOICE, the same as criticizing someone’s looks, which are NOT a choice? Makeup and clothing are choices, unless someone is extremely economically disadvantaged, and literally does not have options regarding clothing. HOW you are likening someone’s reaction to Britneys all around disturbing appearances on Instagram, to people calling her UGLY back in the aughts, I don’t know

        To me, Britney’s makeup and clothing choices (but especially her makeup) are indicative of someone who is not seeing or thinking clearly and is detrimentally unaware of how others are perceiving them.
        Britney’s Instagram is disturbing. EVERYTHING about it is disturbing, from Britneys words, to her appearance, to her behavior.

    • Delphine says:

      I’m not privy to Britney’s diagnosis, however I was in the same hospital in the same psych ward, in the same bed, one week later. I only know because that’s what the nurses told me. My mom also tried to get a conservatorship over me at the same time. But I’m not a famous pop star, there was no money to speak of, and it wasn’t that difficult for me to convince the judge that it was an absolutely terrible idea to give my mentally ill mother that level of control over my life. I’ve done loads of therapy and I’m at peace with my mom. But I’m not Britney and I can’t imagine having an entire machine take over my life. I honestly think no one really knew how to help her then and no one knows now. I pray for her to really find her strength and to find her way to wellness, whatever that looks like for her. I believe it’s possible and I wish her to find her way. Let’s not give up on her because she’s still navigating a new existence. I believe she can overcome this.

      • Zantasia says:

        Holy crap what a violation of HIPAA by those nurses.

        Also, you sound like an amazing advocate for yourself, and I wish you all of the joys.

    • Mauve says:

      Dammit that makes me so sad. I hope she doesn’t go back but what’s to expect from a person going through all this and raised in a cage? I saw her perform near her height for free at a pre superbowl and she was the epitome of professional. She has immense potential but has been led so astray from healthy options.

  2. Britney desperately needs help and I’m of the the belief that she will not get it. She is of her meds and believes all is well so unless someone who she trusts can convince her I don’t see it happening. It’s a vicious cycle .

    • Delphine says:

      I’m sitting here under an umbrella in my garden in Hollywood in the rain. It was supposed to be a hurricane but now it’s a tropical storm. I hope you’re as wrong about this post as the meteorologists. It’s not even their fault they’re wrong as the hurricane keeps changing course and I know it can still get really bad here today. The thing is I’m hoping for the best and prepared for the worst. Give Britney the benefit of the doubt and focus on the vision of her well. I’ve been lost and then found myself and so can she. Whatever that looks like for her.

      • I’m sorry about your weather situation hope you will be ok. As for Britney she has no support. Her family sucks and used her she doesn’t seem to have any friends who she can trust and she isn’t medicating so this leaves her incredibly vulnerable. I would like to wish her well but if she is not willing to get some help and people who go off meds don’t think they need the help they think they are just great. So that is why I have no hope during this cycle. Can things change ? Maybe but with this disease things don’t look hopeful.

      • Sugarhere says:

        Let’s be optimistic and hope the separation will act as a wakeup call on her, because at this stage, all of the external resources have been exhausted. Only Britney can save Britney.

  3. Oswin says:

    The fact that she believes we all view her Insta as “perfect” is, oddly enough, the part that made me the saddest.

    She truly doesn’t see the reality we see. It’s tragic.

    I really hope someone is in her life or enters her life who can get through the mess left in her head by so many years in the wrong hands, and actually get through to her. I just don’t believe she can get things together on her own.

    • Nubia says:

      That comment really is alarming,its says a lot about her state of mind. But she must be slightly aware what people really think of her insta posts otherwise she would have allowed the comments on.

    • greenmonster says:

      That what stood out to me as well. Does she really think anyone takes one look at her IG and thinks “She is living the perfect life!”?????

    • FHMom says:

      That line stood out to me as well. Her Instagram is a cry for help. People on this site have mentioned that they had to unfollow her because it’s painful and feels intrusive. She is just lashing out at this point. I wish somebody could help her.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        @ FHMom, I think that it’s a cry for help as well. For Britney’s entire life she has had to dance to the tunes that others put before her without any regard for her well being.

        Then the conservatorship, with those that were supposed to love her unconditionally, put her through hell, which added on to the trauma that she has suffered and had never recovered.

        Britney’s entire life has created an unhealthy balance into her adulthood and until she gets the help that she needs, unfortunately she will continue to spiral out of control. My heart breaks for Britney.

    • Debbie says:

      You say you’re alarmed that Britney Spears thinks people view her Instagram posts as “perfect” but isn’t that what all those who post on Instagram think, to a certain extent? They may not all have a history of troubles with their family or their health, but they try to present their lives in the best, most glamourous way possible, and they all think they’re successful at it, or that some people envy them because they’re in the various fancy backgrounds they post in front of.

      • greenmonster says:

        Have you seen her IG, Debbie? There is nothing glamorous about it – that is exactly why this line stood out to a couple of people, including me. It’s not like she posts beautiful shots of her house or lovely dinner dates or get together with friends. She is alone in most of her posts. Britney posts mostly videos of herself dancing in her house.

      • Satish More says:


        Um no, NOT everyone who posts on Instagram is trying to portray a false reality. Believe it or not, there ARE actually people who use Instagram for legitimate, noble reasons. For example, my friend Paul is extremely active on Instagram, which he uses to promote the non profit he created & runs, Project Open Paw, which provides pet supplies and vetinary care for the pets of the homeless people in the SF Bay Area (VIGOROUS fund-raising, all done on Instagram, makes the vet care possible) . If you love animals, you should check out his Instagram.

        Last, what kind of people are you surrounded by, in your life, that would make you think that Instagram is nothing but frauds???

  4. Nubia says:

    But who is in her corner !? Her family are all estranged, she doesnt seem to have the same childhood girlfriends with her anymore. Her lawyer seems like a nice man but she needs people who have nothing to gain around her. I wish those ladies Madonna,Paris,Selana,Drew who attended her wedding would do something to help her.

    • Bettyrose says:

      I have no idea what the right answer here is, but we’re seeing in real time how homelessness begins for many people.

      • BlueNailsBetty says:

        This is something I keep coming back to. This is a eye opening look into the process in which the many people end up chemically impaired (self medicating the disordered thoughts) to the point of becoming homeless.

      • Twin Falls says:

        @bettyrose – agree on both points.

      • Megan says:

        Britney’s fortune was valued at $60 million at the start of the conservatorship and she generated hundreds of millions during that time with music sales, tours, and her Vegas residency. We don’t know her true fortune because her father never disclosed it and she hasn’t either. Needless to say, I don’t think she is at risk of becoming unhoused.

      • bettyrose says:

        Megan – We’re not talking about Brittany specifically. There’s very little chance of her falling into poverty, but as is often the case with high profile people, her example is showing us the behind the scenes details we don’t see with every day people whose lives aren’t documented in the same way.

    • B says:

      Maybe she’s been really isolated in some significant and enduring ways and that’s why no one seems to be around for her?

    • greenmonster says:

      I don’t think it is fair to ask people to get her help. If Britney doesn’t want to get help there is nothing anyone can do. They were invited to her wedding, so what? That doesn’t mean they owe her anything – again, esp. if she refuses to get help.
      Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to be mean towards your comment. I just want to point out that the responsibility lies with Britney.

    • MsIam says:

      What do you suggest Madonna, Drew, Selena and Paris do? What makes you think she will listen to them? She was coming after her husband with knives. Britney needs hospitalization until she is stable again, otherwise she will continue to spiral until something terrible happens. If she won’t go voluntarily then its not a lot anyone can do unless she shows she’s a danger to herself and others. And I say this as a parent of a bipolar son who just went through a hospitalization.

      • MoonTheLoon says:

        If what Sam says is true, that’s evidence that she IS in fact a danger to others. Sadly, I have a feeling that’ll be brushed under carpet. The “Poor Britney” movement will come in and work to subvert any possible help she could get. I do feel sorry for her troubles. At the same time, I won’t ignore the rabid lion in the room.

    • HeatherC says:

      Like what? And how do you know none of them haven’t reached out in some way?

      Until she does something dangerous to herself or others, the only one that can help Britney is Britney. That’s the sad reality of everything from mental illness to addiction.

    • lionfire says:

      How can other people help her when she clearly refuses help? What do you think selena, madonna or drew could do? They can’t make her seek help. They can’t make her follow the therapy nedeed. Tbh, I don’t even think they are truly friends/that close to her.

      People need to realize that this is how it usually goes with severely mentally ill loved ones who are adults: they are self-destructing big time, alienating all around them and they not only refuse help, they very often cut contact if you try to talk with them about needing help. So, in the end, you’re practically watching, helplessly, your loved one self-destruct in most hurtful, stupod ways. I was the friend who tried to help, tried to do something. It didn’t end good. The only difference with Britney, it seems, is that she has money and the public is watching.

  5. ClaireB says:

    This poor woman is a mess. I feel sorry for her, but at this point, as a grown adult freed from a conservatorship, she needs to take care of her own self, and it doesn’t seem like that’s happening.

    • LeaTheFrench says:

      Hi Claire, I think many people who have relatives with significant mental health issues – as seems to be the case with Britney – will say the same thing: there comes a point where they’re simply not able to seek treatment. Their logic, reasoning abilities, perception and understanding of reality, just do not make room for that. Seeking treatment is the rational thing to do; people with mental health issues are not always in a state of mind that fits that bill. It is important to understand that, because “responsibility” does not quite apply the same way under these circumstances. Saying that as the daughter of someone whose poorly treated dépression led to wider mental health issues – they’re simply not able to exercise judgment the way anyone else would.

      • ClaireB says:

        @LeaTheFrench, yes, that’s a very good point. Britney is not able to understand just how far she is from healthy and that she needs more than just a handsome husband or freedom from her father. She needs serious treatment. But now that she’s free of her abusive father, no one has power over her to get her that help and it doesn’t seem like something she will choose for herself. The whole situation is tragic. It happens for regular people everyday, but we have to watch this play out with a celebrity and can experience the pain too.

    • Jaded says:

      She’s too messed up to look after herself unfortunately. Having been surrounded by family, managers, agents and men who used and manipulated her as a cash cow has left her emotionally stunted, traumatized and unable to live a normal life. She’s literally has the emotional maturity of a 5 year old and really does need someone who can guide her compassionately. Although I don’t trust Asghari, I think he did his best under very trying circumstances but she clearly needs professional help as her whole life now seems to revolve around acting out for the public.

      • BothSidesNow says:

        I think that Britney is acting out due to the under handed statements that Sam is feeding TMZ! As for her mental health, there doesn’t seem to be anyone whose drive to help her is on an unconditional basis and until she has people in her corner that she can trust she won’t get the help that she needs. In addition, she doesn’t seem to acknowledge that she does need help!!

        As for Sam, he can leave the marriage with what he had and get a job like the rest of us!! He is fully capable of getting a job, but instead is going to try and weasel his way into spousal support. F him and the rest of the leeches that swindle her. What a douche bag!!

      • greenmonster says:

        @BothSidesNow: We don’t know if people reached out to her to help and support her. Just because we don’t see or hear about it, doesn’t mean didn’t happen. I get what you are saying, when you talk about unconditional basis – as in not expecting anything (money or PR) in return and I agree, that’s what she needs. Otherwise there are conditions as in “if you refuse to get help, I can’t be there for you.”

        Accusations of violent and overly sexualized behaviour are on the table. If that is true and Britney can’t comprehend that she needs help, I wouldn’t want to be around her and keep my distance.

      • MickMack says:

        No one, I believe, is coming to help her. Even the people that were altruistic in their efforts to help her got publicly dragged by the sociopath enabling social media platforms.

        I believe this will all ultimately end tragically. There should have been a more holistic approach to getting her on her feet. Instead it devolved into chattering fools grandstanding or purposefully re-entering chaos into her life.

  6. ML says:

    Britney Spears has had a rough time of it and while I’m glad she’s not in an abusive conservatorship at the moment, it’s clear that she needs loving support. She’s still rich, but rich doesn’t teach you how to behave, give you empathy, love you, help you budget your resources, provide stability, improve interpersonal relationships, etc.
    As to her to-be ex-husband, living with someone who has mental health issues and/ or is a substance abuser is rough. You can provide a loving, listening ear and help with stability or cleaning, managing expenses, a nutritious diet, etc, but the person needs to want to put in the work to heal. We’ve seen Britney attack her sons in a way most people would call abusive. She also went after Damian Smith and Victor Wembanyama in an incredibly nasty and racist way, lying about what happened to her. Sam could have made more money by staying married a few more months and he is getting out. I feel like Britney is difficult to handle and it’s both sad and scary because she needs so much help.

    • MoonTheLoon says:

      This is what people aren’t looking at- the timing. He easily could have pissed off and fobbed her off on someone else to make sure he got his payout. That he didn’t says it all. And asking for spousal support is pretty standard in divorces. If the tables were turned, people would be telling her to get that money and put the screws to him.

  7. Sue E Generis says:

    Not everyone with severe mental health issues can be helped. In fact, most can’t manage life on their own. Ever. It seems like Britney is one of those people. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but she needs a conservatorship.

    • Flamingo says:

      A conservatorship that isn’t motivated by money. She hasn’t worked in years and isn’t generating revenue for anyone. If the Golden Goose won’t lay eggs. Why would anyone want to take care of her? Sam couldn’t figure out how to monetize her so he bailed. Which is why I think he wanted to sell the house to try and get the next one as a ‘gift’ in his name (just spitting guesses).

      If her Father had done the right thing at the start. And not get seduced by the power he had as CEO of Britney Spears putting her to work. So everyone had to answer to him. And her fortune grew with him lording over it. My God what a different life she could have had. One where maybe she wouldn’t have been estranged with her sons. As she would have had more life skills and abilities to be a Mother and an adult in the room.

      Absolute power, corrupts absolutely.

    • Snoozer says:

      This is despicable. Conservatorships are designed for people in comas and with severe dementia. She should never have been in one in the first place and many of her issues now likely stem from being abused in her last one. A huge number of Conservatorships are abusive. Being conserved means you literally lose basic human rights. You are unpersoned. The whole conservatorship system needs a massive overhaul.

      There are many other options to help someone that do not involve taking away their human rights, unpersoning them and giving them no control over their own life.

      Most of what you ‘know’ about her mental state is from unsubstantiated gossip and a kinda off-putting Instagram presence. None of that is enough to say she needs to lose her human rights!

      • Bee (not THAT Bee) says:

        Yeah, I suppose we’re going to be hearing this forever. It’s a massive oversteer. It was the first time too. She just seems to have so little support. Hopefully her real friends will reach out.

      • lionfire says:

        Come on, Britney was put on 5150 hold when she locked herself and her toddler kids in the bathroom for hours. It was a hostage situation. There are numerous court filings with witnesses stating her kids were neglected on all fronts and that’s how she never got even the shared custody. She was a danger to others and probably herself. Most of Britney’s problems started long before conservatorship and I will just say, all of her behaviour in conservatorship and after is nothing, nothing in comparison to her behaviour pre-conservatorship. It was not just shaving her head or attack with the umbrella, it was driving with your baby in the lap, running around filthy and barefooted through gas stations…it was much more disturbing than anything she’s publicly doing these days. That conservatorship was probably not ideal and went on for too long, but it most probably saved her life at the time.

        I just can’t belive so many people forgot how bad it was and how awful the whole situation was. That Sam Lufti guy…. If her dad is a villain, Sam Lufti was a mega-extra super villain!
        And in the end, she was of age when she started spiraling, I often wonder how much of a favour are we doing to her by never taking that fact seriously. Maybe it was all her decision and her choices that led to her mental ilness, maybe something she chose to do triggered all of that. That doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t be helped, I’m just thinking-are we doing her a disservice by always treating her like a victim? Cause she is obviously always thinking about herself like a victim, in all situations and in all areas of life, without any responsibility. Maybe that is also not really good for her.

    • petee says:

      lion fire exactly.I remember all that too but everyone seem’s to forget all that.

  8. Izzy says:

    That last paragraph of her post sounds like Sam wanted her to get help and treatment, or at least brought up the subject, and she is too mentally unstable right now to recognize that she desperately needs it.

    • Flamingo says:

      he’s 29 years old and has spent most of his relationship with her in a structured environment. Since he was 23 under her Father’s control. He can want the best for her. But he didn’t have the capabilities to handle this by himself. Nor did I ever think his intentions were fully innocent. He wanted to financially benefit himself as much as Jamie did. Sam just couldn’t figure out how to do it.

  9. VilleRose says:

    I used to have a bipolar friend and I had to step away from the friendship. It was sad but the constant cancellation/changing of plans, inviting random people she had just met to events she organized, going dark for months and then when she came around again, she’d email/text/Facebook message/etc the same message… It was too much to bear. She couldn’t hold a steady job for more than a few months but her rich parents funded her lifestyle.

    The straw that broke the camel’s back was the week my childhood dog had to be put down… she must have called me at least three times while I was at work to change the time/place to meet up and I got very short with her on the phone and she could clearly tell from my tone of voice that I was pissed. She somehow got lost going from Grand Central to Bryant Park. For those unfamiliar, it is NOT hard.

    Anyways when I finally met up with her she unloaded all these things where I apparently did her wrong and somehow decided I was jealous of her (could not have been less true). She went on and on and I finally stepped in and told her the world didn’t revolve around her and her issues, that my dog had passed away that week etc. I almost walked away then and there but I didn’t. But after that day, I retreated from her and refused to hang out with her again. She was also like Britney very emotionally immature and she had the mind of a twelve year old, not a woman in her late twenties. It is exhausting to always feel like you’re parenting an adult. For those who have never encountered this firsthand, I am not surprised Sam decided to walk away. I felt like the worst version of myself, irritated, frustrated, and I hated it. My friend lived in this reality where she didn’t understand basic rules of living. It doesn’t sound like Britney does either.

    • Snoozer says:

      Your friend isn’t Britney. That’s a long bow to draw.

      I also have a severely bipolar friend. We stuck with him through about 6 tough years, he finally got himself help and he’s been in great shape ever since (14 years). Good meds, healthy lifestyle, great job, total sobriety, lovely partner. Very stable, very happy.

      Experiencing bipolar is not the same for every person and it is entirely possible that the bipolar person will get themselves help eventually. I’m not saying you had to stay friends with your friend; but let’s not use that one personal experience as a measure for all bipolar people and relationships with bipolar people.

  10. Athena says:

    Why should Sam get spousal support, what’s with all the men in her life, her father, her manager, her ex-husband, her sons, now Sam feel so entitled to this woman’s hard earned money and be so comfortable living off her. They all need to get jobs and support themselves. They want nothing to do with her, then they shouldn’t have any of her money.

    • Coco says:

      Do not put her kids in the mess because one they are kids two they haven’t done anything wrong.

      • Flamingo says:

        Sean is 18 in September, legally he will be an adult. I am not suggesting he be in control of this Mother’s care and decision-making. With a new conservatorship. But he could be an incentive for Britney to stay on top of her mental health care needs if there was a chance to reconcile with her sons. Since legally he can make his own choices. They are still her children and were victims like Britney of Jamie and the conservatorship to fleece the golden goose.

      • Coco says:

        @ Flamingo

        18 is still too young to be in charge of keeping up with his mother’s medication or her mental health need. Do you realize the responsibility that is putting on someone so young.

      • lionfire says:

        @Flamingo. Considering the fact that she was severely neglecting her kids while she still had shared custody and considering the rift between her and the sons after the conservatorship, tihnk it’s clear her kids aren’t incentive enough for her to turn her health amd herself around.
        I also think this is something her kids realized long ago-and this is a very tough, very hurtful fact for kids to be aware of-and I inderstand their distance from her. Honestly, she brought them to this world and she wasn’t really an exemplary mom: althoug koney can never, ever change that, if someone deserves her money, they do. And if someone owes her nothing, it’s them.

    • Mcmmom says:

      Wait, what? Her sons are not yet “men” and yeah, as their mother, she *should* be supporting them financially. That’s what parents do.

  11. Flamingo says:

    Her oldest son is almost 18, I hope her sons at some point can see her through adult eyes. And understand so much of her behavior was driven by mental illness and her Father’s control. And her trying to hang onto any kind of control in her life and being a Mother with no life skills. She did the best she could with the limited abilities she had. She has been infantilized her whole life as a teen and then adult pop star. She couldn’t be the adult in the room since she was never allowed to be one.

    I pray they forgive her and be the ones that can step up and help her get on the right path. She thinks being a ‘strong soldier’ is surviving. It’s not, it’s suffering of the worst kind. It’s not Britney’s responsibility for being mentally ill. It is her responsibility to take the steps to work on her mental health care.

    • Jazz Hands says:

      I think that’s a lot to ask of her children (to help her get on the right path), even if they are almost 18. If the actual adults in Britney’s orbit couldn’t do that over the years, including medical professionals, I don’t think it’s fair to put that on her boys. Hopefully they grow up to have healthy relationships, including with their mother, but her wellness isn’t their responsibility.

      • Flamingo says:

        No, I didn’t mean to sound that way as I said. It’s Britney’s responsibility to work on her own mental health care. But her being ill is not her fault. And they are all victims of Jamie and the people around him to benefit financially from her. From the few videos they released. It was chaotic at best for them. Trying to be sons to a Mother was clearly out of control at times. To the point, their Father had to have a restraining order against Jamie Spears.

        And as children how can they reconcile all that? But incredibly I do think Kevin and his wife have given them the stable environment they needed. Which as adults one day. Hopefully, they can be a positive force in her to want to help herself and do it for a relationship with her children. Britney has the mind of a child that thinks unconditional love is the standard. No matter how many times she lashes out at them. She needs to be the adult in the room and she clearly isn’t there yet.

        But I don’t think Britney is lost completely, she just needs help and a reason to keep working on herself.

    • Josephine says:

      I don’t get the sense that they dislike their mother or blame her at all. I don’t think anyone has implied that? As much as everyone hates K-fed, I do think he raised the boys with the understanding that their mom had an illness. At the same time, they are not responsible for her and I cannot imagine that they would be the ones to guide her toward seeking help.

      • Flamingo says:

        In various posts it’s alluded they have been no contact for several years and did not attend the wedding. And I think Sam did not help things and fostered the estrangement for his own benefit. When she posted this on her Instagram about her sons

        “Or is the reason you guys have decided to be hateful is that it’s actually over in two years and you don’t get anything?”

        Boiling it down to the buck stops when they turn 18. This may not be true since in Hawaii child support can last up to 23 if they are pursuing higher education. And still in school.

        Anyway, all I am saying is they could be such a positive influence in her life if she gets the help she needs and sticks with it.

      • AlpineWitch says:

        They don’t seem to want any contact with her and why should they have such responsibility anyway? People should stop making these assumptions, we have no idea what went down between Britney and the kids. Certainly, they’ve expressed a desire not to see her and that should be respected.

        Many years ago this exact issue played out in my family too, our father abused us kids to h*ll and back, and people insisting we should have cared about our father! Many also accused my mum of parental alienation when it was us who didn’t want to have anything with him anymore.
        I was estranged from him for almost 15 years and only saw his coffin at the funeral.

        Suggesting they should be forced to care for her is really absurd.

      • Arpeggi says:

        I think you’re right, as sleazy KFed might be, he seems to have done a good job shielding the kids from the worst of Britney’s illness, the conservatorship and controlling folks in her orbit. She lost custody of the boys prior to the conservatorship and there were reasons for that. They still have had to deal with a lot, much more than I wish any child to witness. I also get why Britney and Sam’s 2000’s-themed wedding might not seem appealing or even appropriate for teenage boys and why they chose to opt out. Doesn’t mean they hate their mom, but it’s a lot for teenagers/young adults to handle and if she’s off her meds and refusing treatment, it’s probably the healthiest thing for them to stay away

      • MoonTheLoon says:

        @Flamingo- Sorry, were you in the room when he dictated that sentence/paragraph and held a weapon to her head to post it? Because otherwise, might not be wise to make that assumption. That’s exactly the sort of thing I’ve heard someone in a manic state say. He’d have to either experienced it before or studied the condition quite well. I’m not gonna give him that much credit.

  12. Libra says:

    She is exhibiting some of the behaviors of childhood sexual abuse; the suggestive videos, the almost nude pole dancing, pulling her bikini bottoms down as low as possible, asking staff allegedly to photograph her nude, all related to a sexual theme. Has she ever mentioned this as a possibility?

    • greenmonster says:

      Not that I am aware of BUT she has been (as we all know) sexualized since she was at least 16 (probably younger). She had an incredible “sexy” image from the moment she appeared on scene and was scrutinized for it. I remember her saying in an interview that she came up with the school girl look for BOMT… yeah, sure. My guess, the adults around her made her wear that outfit and then let her take the fall for the idea. Britney did not come up with the idea, adults did it and but wear to afraid to take the blame. And if my math is correct, she was 17 when they put Britney, only wearing underwear and holding a Teletubby, on the cover of Rolling Stone. And this is just the tip of the iceberg.

      • Flamingo says:

        Seeing that Justin Timberlake casually mentioned having sex with her on a radio show. I don’t think she had a healthy introduction to sex at all.

      • Gennessee says:

        From what I remember, she was dating an 18-year-old when she was 14 and having seggs with him (with her parent’s permission) back when they still lived in Shreveport, LA.

        This was also around the time where Jamie was going though his alcoholism phase and they were so broke they were eating squirrel.

    • TH says:

      @libra I was thinking the exact same thing. As a mental health counselor and as someone who has a best friend who was also abused in 5th grade, they have exhibited similar behaviors.
      She likely has a ton of trauma from her childhood as well as the conservative.
      And everyone who uses the example of when she used the umbrella to break the windshield to indicate she is ‘a danger to others’ … I have to say that if I had people following me 24/7 saying antagonistic things to get me to react100% off the time, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing if I was at my wits end. I don’t think that is a sign of mania. Just being absolutely fedup!

      • Coco says:

        There were many incidents with Britney and her kids. When she locked herself and the kids in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out, it took the police three hours to get her out. Britney drove with Sean in her lap when he was an infant or driving with an infant Sean in a convertible car not properly strapped into the car-set.

  13. Yesgirl says:

    This is so sad. I have close members in my family that deal with mental health issues. One was able to get it under control through the right medications, therapy and diet. The other tried to do the same but wouldn’t give up alcohol and considered themselves to be a social drinker . I saw that Britney had a coolers in her hand when she was picking up fast food. I think she has an alcoholism problem and that is why the medication “didn’t work”. You can’t drink even casually when taking strong medication that have side effects. Their brain is already not wired right and alcohol brings down inhibitions and effects brain function and can induce or exacerbate depression and depressive thoughts in a healthy person but is a disaster in a person taking meds for mental issues. That family member is like Britney, doesn’t even realize how far removed from reality she actually is and it won’t get better without the right doctors and her cooperation. Acts very immature about relationships and men in general when she can’t even function. Lashes out and makes fun of people trying to help her. Its a lot.

  14. Tish says:

    I just remember how she went after the guy at the Jack in the Box for extending kindness to her. She took it as patronizing and went off. This is why I say it is not those ladies responsibility to help her. And Sam has been through it if you ask me. I can’t imagine walking on eggshells around her cos if you ask something caring like Are you okay or How are you feeling? She could take that as you babying her and get all defensive. No, it’s not up to Paris, Drew Madonna, and especially Selina to reach out. She held a year long grudge for Selina the last time and it was her man’s fault at that.

  15. Dawn says:

    Two things can be true:

    1. Britney is a deeply troubled person who needs help.

    2. Her conservatorship was abused to enrich her family and their flunkies. As a result, her mental illness was never properly treated, and likely became far worse.

    The abuse she suffered probably also made her fearful of seeking the help she needs. It’s really tragic.

  16. Lee says:

    She really needs help, I hope she gets it.

  17. SUNNYVILE says:

    This is oddly similar situation to the people who appear on my favourite show; hoarders. They truly don’t see anything wrong with their situation. And it’s always people who went under traumatic event. I don’t see how any well meaning person has a chance to help her now as they’d be accused of trying to control her like her greedy parents. I honestly think Kevin moved the boys knowing it’d make her snap & he’s counting on them getting inheritance! I fear she’s on a self destructive path

  18. teehee says:

    Here’s my impression of her IG, after shortly scrolling through it:

    Its like she has been taught that as long as she’s dancing and dressed up,
    ‘Things are fine’.
    So in her mind, she’s dressing up and dancing, and that is the “perfect” picture she was taught to believe, an thus thinks others see it the same way?
    Like, she’s performing, what more could we ask of her?

    But generally speaking, her IG is not unlike so many others’, who baffle me with their ability to post and look at pictures of their own selves endlessly. The only difference with her is that she is not styled by a team and her shoots are not as staged, therefore, its more disturbing but the pictures are really the same like anyone else’s…..
    Which begs the question…. it should be disturbing when anyone does it.

  19. lionfire says:

    I remember Britney pre-conservatorship, and let’s be honest-at the time, it probably saved her life. It definetly saved her finances-she was on the verge of completely broke. If I remember correctly, that was one of the arguments for lasting conservatorship-her dad practically made her rich again and stopped the grifters and enablers from siphoning money of of her.
    I wish her all the best and I hope she will find a way to trust medical professionals again, because I think that she won’t get peaceful, satisfying life without them. I’m worried that she’s walking the same path she was before the conservatorship, when she was a danger to herself and others-I still remember the court docs about neglecting the children, leaving them underfed, in soiled diapers for hours, and that incident with her locking herself with them in the bathroom for hours…. *Shudder* Her kids turned out great, considering, and I just hope she will too, in the end.

  20. AnneL says:

    It just made me sad how she talked about going for in-patient treatment. A good mental health facility with caring, competent people in charge could do her a world of good, but she describes it as going to be “fixed by doctors,” which she doesn’t have to do because she’s her “dad’s strong soldier.”

    Did her father really tell her that if she were strong, she wouldn’t need help? Because she really seems to need help and I so wish she would seek it. What a terrible mentality to foster in a young woman.

  21. Krystal says:

    It’s all so sad, I hope she gets the help she needs and finds some peace.

  22. JeneByrnes says:

    Some of the comments concerning. Mental illness does not automatically equal tragedy, it’s not inevitable that their lives will derail & they w/self destruct. When managed with both medication & therapy, it’s possible to have a relatively normal life. I’ve lived 30+ years with bipolar 1, and once I got the proper treatment have been able to make vast improvements in my life.

    In my admittedly narrow experience: no one can carry you through the process. Other people cannot sacrifice their lives to bring someone to health. They can support & encourage the person, but ultimately the person w/the illness must do all the hard work. A therapist once told me that although i didn’t make the mess, I was the one who has to clean it up: it’s not fair, but if I don’t do it it wont get done. Also, the only unconditional love is usually provided by parents & or family. All other relationships are conditional and should be. This was one of hardest ideas for me to accept.

    I’m not an expert, but wonder if this is mental illness and substance abuse. This is where the sh*t really hits the fan, bad outcomes. Hoping the best for her, she is fortunate to be able to afford a better level of care than most in U.S – hope she’s able to avail herself of some good treatment.

    • Satish More says:


      I think you hit the nail on the head when you suggested that Britney is suffering from substance abuse + mental illness (which both afflictions likely exacerbating the other, in a continuous downward spiral). I recalled that when the public first started learning, first hand from Britney, what she had suffered/experienced under her conservatorship, that she stated that they/her father/drs would only give her her Adderall if she performed. Essentially her father et al were bribing an addict with drugs, to perform and make them money. I also recall that before the conservatorship, when she first spun out of control, during her contentious divorce with Federline, and that there was a lot of talk about Britney doing drugs, cocaine specifically, and that she shaved her head because she had been told that a hair strand drug test had been ordered, to determine who would get custody of the children. It sounds like Britney has been abusing/mis-using stimulants for quite some time, and I think you were exactly right about this not simply being a case of mental illness. Britney needs, in my opinion, a VERY long stay at a dual diagnosis treatment center, and that’s just to start with.
      Also, I commend you for the hard work you’ve done on yourself regarding your own mental health issues. I think many people struggle with the overall unfairness of having to do the work to fix/improve ourselves, even when our issues were not of our own making, but rather inflicted on us by parents/family/traumatic events. I know that’s something I’ve had to tackle in my own life.
      Last, I think a lot of people are being very unfair to Sam, and to a lesser extent, Britneys friends (if they even are real friends). I imagine that Sam has dealt with a LOT from Britney throughout the years, and six years is a long time to be with someone as unstable as Britney. And during the entire time they were together, you never heard a single negative thing about him, only now that he wants to divorce her, is he suddenly a monster. I think he got tired, fed up, and I might be alone in this, but I believe him about Britneys alleged cheating and her allegedly assaulting him. I think the cheating might have been the last straw. Of course I don’t know any of this for a fact, this us just my impression.