Vanessa Hudgens on being engaged: ‘you feel so safe. It’s the best thing ever’


Vanessa Hudgens got engaged to baseball player Cole Tucker in February. They met on a Zoom meditation group during lockdown in 2020 and have been together ever since. Before that she was with Austin Butler for nine years. It’s always interesting to me when someone is in a super long term relationship like that without tying the knot and then their next relationship moves much quicker. Three years together isn’t “too fast” by any means though and Vanessa and Cole are really cute together. On The Today Show Vanessa gushed about how it feels to be engaged to Cole. She said being engaged makes her feel safe and she shared that she knew that she wanted to marry Cole right away.

Vanessa Hudgens has found comfort in her engagement to Cole Tucker.

The High School Musical star, 34, told Today‘s Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush Hager about her refreshed confidence as she prepares to walk down the aisle to Tucker, 26.

“It feels amazing. It’s so funny, I was talking about this with Cole…. People are always like, ‘Does it feel different? [Do] things feel different [getting engaged]?’” Hudgens shared on Friday. “That was always my question normally, but now I get to be asked it.”

“And you know what, it actually does,” she continued. “There’s a sense of security. You feel so safe. It’s the best thing ever. I love being a fiancée.”

The actress, who first showed off her ring on Instagram on Feb. 9 in a joint post with her baseball player beau, said she knew almost immediately that he was the one.

“I knew. After our first weekend together, I called my sister and was like, ‘I think I just found my future husband,’” she said, noting that she was immediately drawn in by “who he is.”

[From People]

If I met someone who looked like him on a Zoom meditation group, I, too, would believe he was my future husband. In all seriousness they seem happy and they must share similar interests (like meditation!) so that’s good. I wonder what it feels like to meet someone and suddenly know you want to be with them, how Vanessa talks about Cole. I’ve never experienced that. When I fall for someone, I fall hard, but I always have tons of ambivalence beforehand. I have to be convinced and I am a cool, cool customer. Until you have me, and then my abandonment trauma pops out like the demented jack-in-the-box in Elf. Also, I have always felt skeptical when people say that engagement or marriage feels more secure. Of course I get why people feel that way. But in my view, the risks of love don’t go away just because you put on a ring or walk down the aisle. If anything, the risks are compounded. They can still break your heart or cheat or leave, only now you’ll have to hire an attorney, or try to get your deposit back on the second-best ballroom at The Montage (which may also require an attorney to be honest). I don’t think I could ever be that brave, or trust another person so fully. Watching my friends get married is like watching them parachute out of helicopters to go fight wildfires, I’m just in awe of it. So it’s funny to hear engagement and marriage being described as safe because I’ve never seen it that way. I’m happy for Vanessa and Cole and I’m looking forward to whatever slightly kooky, bohemian dress she ends up wearing on the big day.

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10 Responses to “Vanessa Hudgens on being engaged: ‘you feel so safe. It’s the best thing ever’”

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  1. Sugarhere says:

    Vanessa Hudgens is a wonderful, underrated actress. Everybody should be able to see her acting skills in “Gimme Shelter”.

    I’m sincerely rooting for her and praying for her happiness. May he bring her lifelong bliss. Congratulations!

  2. teehee says:

    I reckon it feels good if thats really where you want to be. Alot of people just go through the motins or are trying to reach a milestone or pin someone down and then it surely doesnt feel that nice.
    I can imagine the “relief”, though, of the person I am enamored with actually showing a committment to me like that. I’d be over the rainbow lol

  3. Sophie says:

    I mean… he’s a baseball player.

    I do wish her the best because I like her.

  4. Gah says:

    I really like this woman tbh- I know she was tone deaf during covid but I like her hustle; the princess switch franchise is a delight; she’s great in tick tick boom. I hope she is happy and enjoys her engagement and subsequent married life.

    Marriage is hard. I also felt really good as a fiancé so I get where she is coming from. We celebrate 10 years in November and have spent the last 7 in all kinds of life chaos- I’m frankly surprised we are still together but it does help that we actually like one another. But yeah marriage under any circumstances is hard.

  5. Mika says:

    I’m with you, Carina. I think the original idea of marriage that is sold to people and especially women – till death donus part, the foundation of a new family, in sickness and in health – is a really beautiful and a potent idea. But we know that people are people, regardless of the words they say in front of a Justice of the Peace, and there are no guarantees in life. I know that after a nine year relationship without marriage this must feel special, assuming marriage is what she wanted, but it won’t be what makes the relationship stronge.

  6. Mika says:

    I’m with you, Carina. I think the original idea of marriage that is sold to people and especially women – till death do us part, the foundation of a new family, in sickness and in health – is a really beautiful and a potent idea. But we know that people are people, regardless of the words they say in front of a Justice of the Peace, and there are no guarantees in life. I know that after a nine year relationship without marriage this must feel special, assuming marriage is what she wanted, but it won’t be what makes the relationship strong

  7. Laalaa says:

    I don’t know… everytime I hear a woman saying the engagement makes her feel safe turned out to be “I thought that was proof of love/he will stop cheating/I am worthy because I can show a man wants me.”
    But I realize this may be my cynicism towards marriage 😀

  8. Naye In VA says:

    Marriage did not make me feel safe about his love.

    It made me feel safer in society. I was no longer a black single mother. Unfortunately being “claimed” comes with different levels of deference and respect, your implied value, different groups, etc.

    It’s the societal conditioning of what marriage means that feels safe. Nothing more

  9. Diamond Rottweiler says:

    Know what’s statistically more reliable than a fiancé? The COVID vaccine. This ableist airhead can miss me with her opinions.

  10. Nicegirl says:

    Wonderful