Jessica Alba crushes on Mario Lopez, has horrible taste in men

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Last week, there was some major controversy about Jessica Alba’s husband Cash Warren and his reported maybe-probably make-out/hook-up with a certain crackhead named Lindsay Lohan. At first, Us Weekly just left the report to their print edition, but last Friday, they put the story online, and it’s created quite a buzz. At the same the time Us Weekly outed Cash as someone who might stick his tongue down Lindsay’s throat, People reported a breezy denial, coming straight (in my opinion) from Alba’s publicist. Still, the damage was done, and now many people think Cash is a skank – by association, at the very least.

Also note this – even though Lindsay issued some cracked-out denial when the initial reports began, as soon as Lindsay got to India, she tweeted Cash with a note that read “landed!” Because Lindsay loves the drama, regardless of whether she and Cash actually have something going on.

Anyway, Star Magazine has this hilarious story about Jessica Alba being so distraught over Cash, she’s run to the arms of… Mario Lopez!

The Lindsay Lohan rumors could push Jessica Alba and Cash Warren apart, Star has learned. A friend of Jessica’s tells Star: “Jessica isn’t happy. She threatened to kick Cash to the curb after she heard about the Lohan incident. She was livid!”

Jessica and Cash were “pretty miserable” when they picked out their Christmas tree. “Cash is in the doghouse, but Jessica is going through the motions, pretending to be a happy family for the holidays.”

Jessica’s relationship with Cash has been troubled for a while, sources note, ever since he cheated on her with a blonde named Vera Mishina a year before their May 2008 wedding. But now they seem to be on the brink of breakup.

“Jessica called up a close pal and confessed, ‘We’re not sleeping in the same bed.’ She’s been saying for quite some time that she and Cash are having major problems. It doesn’t look good.”

Apparently, Jessica has started hitting the town like a single gal – and she has a huge crush on Mario Lopez! “She’s gone from being a homebody to someone who always wants to go clubbing… she’s been drinking and hanging with the girls a lot lately.”

A pal reveals: “Jessica said she thinks Mario is a great guy and so easy to talk to… she said he’s given her good advice on some of the issues she’s dealing with in her marriage. I’m not sure how they met or how long they’ve been friends, but let’s just say she definitely finds him sexy.”

But, despite her partying, Jessica hopes she and Cash can work out. “She believes he can turn it around and become a doting husband and dad… but people who know him think he’ll never change. Either she accepts it, or these two are headed for Splitsville.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, December 21, 2009]

God, she has the worst taste in men. That’s her biggest problem. Remember when every guy was lusting after her, circa 2006? She was the hottest thing going despite her angst misery. Yeah… she really could have traded up, in more ways than one. What exactly does Cash have going for him? He’s not cute, he’s not successful, he’s not rich, he’s not nice, he’s not a good husband. I don’t get it. And for all of those people who are like “Cash has his own career!” No, he doesn’t. His career is being married to Jessica Alba. He’s described as a “producer” but the only project he’s got going is this cover story project with Lindsay Lohan. Which I don’t even buy. So, in that sense, Mario Lopez would be trading up. At least Mario has a job, you know?

Opening Night Of ''Dreamgirls'' - Arrivals And Curtain Call

Jessica Alba in LA on December 10, 2009 in LA. Credit: Fame.

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22 Responses to “Jessica Alba crushes on Mario Lopez, has horrible taste in men”

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  1. snowball says:

    Mario also probably comes with a suitcase of STDs. He’s the latino Tiger Woods, except his wife found out about him slutting around on her right after they got married and was smart enough to divorce his ass right away.

    If anyone that I regularly touched was making out or hooking up with Lohan, they’d immediately go in for the Silkwood decontamination routine.

  2. Firestarter says:

    Why does everyone act like Cash is so broke and has nothing going on? He does have money of his own, and his father was in show business. It isn’t as if he is some counter guy who worked at McD’s (nothing wrong with it even if he were!) and landed Alba. She rabidly pursued him.

  3. javelin says:

    Yeah, Alba isn’t too bright. Maybe she didn’t trade up because it would require a few months of being nice to someone.

  4. icky says:

    SNowball! LOL- I love the Silkwood reference

  5. Moore says:

    You make it sound like you got something against him. Cash is not poor and does work. At least google it. He’s a producer of a handful of his own films, worked on a couple movies before and co-founded a pretty popular gaming site. He’s not hollywood but he’s not a bum either.

  6. Nebraska says:

    I read on another post that Cash’s father is Michael Warren from Hill Street Blues and is (or was) totally smokin hot!

  7. j. ferber says:

    Just to add to the delights of Mario Lopez, way back he was also up on a rape charge.

  8. Iggles says:

    What exactly does Cash have going for him? He’s not cute, he’s not successful, he’s not rich, he’s not nice, he’s not a good husband. I don’t get it.

    I don’t get it either. Cash is gross looking and he seems like a douche. You’re right, she could have landed anyone but she got reeled in by his douche charms? Quite sad. He seems as successful as Britney Murphy’s fat, gross, druggie hubby.

    Mario has multiple jobs! (Host of Extra, Host of ABDC, and acting gigs). He’s hot. But Alba doesn’t deserve him.

  9. diva says:

    Sounds like she is just trying to save face, their is probably some truth to the story. Sad, that she can’t even keep Lindsay away from her husband. You would think any self-respecting man, would steer clear of someone who looks as bad as Lindsay. I know you credit her for bringing back leggings, but I have to wonder if she ever washes them since she appears to wear the same ones all the time.

  10. gaby says:

    I’ve always wondered the same thing.. why Jessica Alba would have aggressively pursued and want to be with Cash who is basically a nobody. My theory it that maybe there is truth to the rumors of her having genital herpes. Maybe she figures no other guy would want to deal with something like that therefore, she wants to stick with Cash cause he’s the only one who will. If she tried dating other successful, famous celebrity men, a secret like that would definitely get out. It wouldn’t be that surprising, I remember reading an article in Cosmo when she was first starting out as an actress and she admitted to having gone through a promiscuous stage. Also she dated Derek Jeter back in the day :/

  11. BOGUS STORY says:

    ^ even if it’s true 80% of total poulation has herpes.
    Ans yeah, I’m sure no one will date her, lol.
    Idk if to believe this stories, I see pictures with them togeter quite happy, on twitter also.

  12. me says:

    Lindsay jealous of Jessica?
    While Lindsay Lohan strongly denies any suggestion that she’s been secretly scheming to sink her claws into the husband of actress Jessica Alba, tabloid spies spin a different tale.

    Lindsay is green with envy over Alba’s friendship with her lesbian ex, DJ Samantha Ronson, an unidentified spy tattles in the Dec. 14 edition of The National Enquirer. In a bid to exact revenge, the on-screen “Mean Girl” has allegedly been cozying up to Jess’ handsome hubby, producer Cash Warren, 30.

    Lindsay and Jessica recently wrapped shooting on Robert Rodriguez’s upcoming thriller Machete, but set insiders say Jessica snubbed any opportunity to forge a friendship with the troubled ex-child star. When Linds heard that Jessica had spent a night partying with Sam at Hollywood hotspot Teddy’s in mid-October, she hit the roof.

    “I think Lindsay has the crazy idea that Jessica has the hots for Sam — even though she and Cash are happily married! So now Lindsay is retailiating by coming on to Cash.”
    According to The Enquirer, wasted no time “throwing herself” at a rather disinterested Cash.“Lindsay has also been pestering Cash about working on a film or TV project together, with her starring and him producing.”
    Lindsay Lohan Accuses Jessica Alba Of Putting The Moves On Sam Ronson – TheCelebrityDB.Com News

  13. Iggles says:

    @BOGUS STORY:
    “^ even if it’s true 80% of total poulation has herpes.”

    Wow. That’s a ridiculous claim! Where are the statistics to back that up?

    Can’t speak for you, but 4 out of 5 of the people I know do NOT have the herp.

  14. gaby says:

    80% of the total population has herpes?! That’s the most amazing statistic I’ve ever heard! lol

  15. Firestarter says:

    I have to agree with Iggles, 4 our 5 people I know do not have the herp either.

  16. prettytarheelfan says:

    The percentage isn’t 80%, but it is higher than you think (estimates run in the 30-40% of SEXUALLY ACTIVE TEENS/ADULTS WHO HAVE HAD MULTIPLE PARTNERS) Couple of qualifications that need to be thrown in. That being said, remember the Hollywood Herpes flow chart that showed how everyone had slept with everyone else, and there was a good chance EVERYONE had the herp. So…I doubt that would be a major dating deterrent in that social circle.

  17. bo says:

    Looks like I am the only one who thinks this is a match made in Boring People Heaven.

  18. Miss Thang says:

    That title seems repetitive…
    🙂

  19. Erin says:

    Check out their twitter pages….they make it seem like they are a perfect couple…weird.

  20. Firestarter says:

    I love all the people from the CDC we have posting on here. Where do you people get your stats from? David Letterman’s monologues?

  21. Jenna says:

    I just can’t understand how you go from Alba to Lohan. Something is dreadfully wrong. If he wanted to have a loose and disease filled lifestyle then the Lohan is the way to go– and I’m not just speaking about her vagina.

  22. WickedGirl says:

    lol jessica alba is the one with herpes mario needs to stay away.