They’re trying to say that Prince William won the ‘sexiest bald man’ survey

CB is the one who enjoys bald men. I prefer furry men, hirsute barrel-chested bears or stringbeans with beards. So I’m probably not the one to ask about “the sexiest bald men.” If a man is truly sexy, his hair (or lack thereof) doesn’t really matter – see Mark Strong or Zinedine Zidane or Stanley Tucci. If a man is a trash person, the state of his hair doesn’t matter either. All of which to say, Prince William is ugly, violent, lazy, stupid and cruel. He’s also bald, but his ugliness is because of all of the other things. Still, someone is spending a lot of money to rig these polls, because William was just named “the sexiest bald man” again.

Prince William has been named the sexiest bald man alive, according to a new study based on Google searches. Marketing agency Reboot conducted the study by looking at how many times the Royal had been searched for, alongside the words “shirtless” or “naked”.

They also analysed celebrities’ heights, net worths and how shiny their scalps are to come up with a total “sexy” score out of 10.

William topped the list with a 9.88, closely followed by actors Vin Diesel and Jason Statham, who excelled on search result scores and the “shine factor” of their heads. Samuel L. Jackson came fourth and businessman Jeff Bezos (no, really) came fifth, with his immense net worth of $168bn pumping up his score.

In sixth place came former basketball player, Michael Jordan, who is officially the sexiest bald sports star of 2023. With a height of 6 ft 5 and the highest net worth of sport stars on the list, at $2.6bn, it comes as no surprise that MJ, in all his bald glory, is seen as seductive, study authors said.

[From Indy100]

What kind of methodology is this?? “Marketing agency Reboot conducted the study by looking at how many times the Royal had been searched for, alongside the words ‘shirtless’ or ‘naked’.” How is it possible – unless it’s by rigging the Google results – that more people searched for William versus Jason Statham? That makes zero sense. Unless there’s some Kensington Palace intern whose job it is to Google “Prince William bald sexy” and “Prince William handsome bachelor bald does not need hairplugs” and “Prince William hot chest bald” for eight hours every single day. Which is entirely possible. It’s especially weird because William has such major Lurch energy these days.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.

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107 Responses to “They’re trying to say that Prince William won the ‘sexiest bald man’ survey”

  1. K8erade says:

    Jason Statham will always be #1 in the sexy bald man category over William. There isn’t even a contest. William is disgusting and being a psychopath is a major turn-off.

    • BeyondTheFringe says:

      I *KNOW* right? And he hits that sweet spot of sexy bald BUT also is a manly man with a hairy chest not a slicked up hairless dolphin.

      How much of the Duchy money did William have to throw around to make this fairy tale a reality?!

      • K8erade says:

        It’s all that missing Prince’s Trust money.

      • Geegee says:

        This poor sad bald man wants so badly to be sexy. It is both funny and sad.

      • nona93 says:

        Why are the idiots running the Royal PR machine spending a fortune on selling William’s ‘manly’ physique and good looks? Is this important to the credentials for a future king even though it’s not true or are they trying to combat Harry’s toughness and bravery doing front-line service in Afghanistan and flying fearsome attack Apache helicopters. Likewise with Kate. It’s all about her ‘stunning’ outfits and ‘landmark’ speeches about nothing when all she really does is posture and affect smiles and bold gestures but nothing more than cosmetic. They both lack gravitas and ability. Hang about until Meghan announces her next moves then watch this space!!

    • Olivia says:

      But for some of us that is Patrick Stewart. Nomnom.

      • K8erade says:

        Patrick Stewart’s Old Vic voice can lull me to sleep any night of the week but I’ve been watching Star Trek: TNG since I was 5 so that kind of feels like crushing on a family member.

    • 1960tlm says:

      William is NOT the sexiest Bald man, he’s not sexy at all! Even those children told him he looked 57, and how old is he 41, 42? But age doesn’t determine whether you are sexy either because like others have said, Patrick Stewart is quite sexy & he is not young. William is obsessed with anything having to do with Harry, and being sexy is a Harry thing! People have been saying that Harry looks so good now, he’s dressing sharp, looks rested and has a glow and that he is “oh so sexy” since he and Meghan left the firm, but the comments are organic. This survey is something William’s team “invented” because I don’t know a single woman, or gay man, that thinks William is sexy. I asked a bunch of people I know yesterday about this survey. So I did my own survey at work, and from my small survey of about 25 people, some of them said, “he’s not good looking at all,” some said, “he’s just meh,” some said, “he’s a little effeminate, that’s not sexy to me” (to each his own, being effeminate is not a bad thing, it’s just a preference, not a judgement) but most said, “ewww he’s gross!” The people who said he was gross were basing this on his treatment of Harry, Meghan & even on how he behaves toward Kate. And others said, “why does the future king need to be sexy?” That’s the real question, he doesn’t! It’s disgusting that the future King of England is so jealous & obsessed with his younger brother that he can’t focus on the needs of his own people. His behavior is so unhinged that the needs of his immediate family and especially his wife go unnoticed and to make himself look good he has to pay for and buy a survey that says he’s sexy, so he can force his subjects to know that he is sexy and they might even believe it.
      Truly Pathetic!

      • Debbie says:

        I had a feeling that someone would have to publicly appease that massive ego of William’s (in some public way) after those children mistook him for a 57-year-old codger, instead of the spry, and nubile 42-year-old middle aged man he is.

      • BeanieBean says:

        @1960tlm: your survey is just as valid as that bought & paid for one!

    • Sallie sunrise says:

      Has no one ever SEEN Boris Kodjoe!??

      • Deering24 says:

        Or Shemar Moore?!

      • Christine says:

        Shemar Moore is the one I will always go back to. There is no Earth where Shemar lives where Willnot is sexier than he is.

        I also prefer the bears, but Shemar Moore is so fucking hot.

    • Amy says:

      Right?! In a world with Jason Statham and the Rock and Patrick Stewart and….you could go on and on

    • ales says:

      William conjures up nightmares not fantasies. Nothing sexy about how he has aged, no hair, yellow beaver teeth and an old dad body.

    • Elizabeth says:

      Nah, Patrick Stewart is the sexiest bald man.

    • Fabiola says:

      Jason Statham should be number 1. William number 1 billion

    • Ewissa says:

      I heard this news driving to pick up my son from school and I laughed loudly that is no way that he didn’t buy that award/title for himself.There are so many sexier bald men than PW …like he stands no chance to Stanley Tucci and I can name just others who have more sex appeal and charisma than William -Vin Diesel,Rock,Jason Statham, terry crews, Patrick Stewart even NoHo Hank aka Anthony Carrigan.

  2. Amy Bee says:

    This is so sad and pathetic. KP should donate this money to charity instead of wasting it on bogus polls.

    • Brassy Rebel says:

      For sure.

    • Becks1 says:

      It just reeks of desperation – like William is super sensitive about going bald and so they’re making up these polls to make him feel better about it.

      the thing about the other bald men listed – they’re bald and confident. They’re sexy in large part bc of their baldness, not despite it.

      William just seems so sensitive about his baldness (as Harry pointed out in Spare, hahaha), so it makes him seem insecure and that is not sexy.

      • Robert Phillips says:

        Harry gets a lot of comments on social media saying he’s sexy. So of Course William demands the same thing. And has anyone looked into this company that supposedly did the research? Is it’s address Kensington Palace?

    • Megan says:

      I couldn’t help but notice Harry appeared to have more hair at the Navy Seals event. William is obviously jealous and is suddenly embracing his baldness like it’s something he hasn’t been insecure about for the past decade.

    • Christine says:

      Word, Amy Bee. It’s grotesque that they wasted money to buy this poll for him. No one alive thinks he’s anywhere near the sexiest man, with or without hair.

      It’s too bad he doesn’t have a personality worth a damn, because a bald man with a glorious personality is sexy as hell.

      See: Stanley Tucci.

      See also: Jason Kelce.

  3. SarahCS says:

    I know nothing about this technology but suggest either

    a) rigged survey


    b) bots running google searches to make the data tell this story

    Now if you’ll excuse me I’m feeling queasy at the thought of anyone running those searches and need some air. Or maybe I’ll put a Jason Statham movie on.

    • ML says:

      Same thought, SarahCS, that this is manipulative technology at work. Someone is desperately trying to convince [the world? women?] that an uncharismatic, man is against all evidence to the contrary, sexy. He is not. However this isn’t even the forst time he’s “won” the supposed sexiness survey. So, clearly this is what his suck-up flatterers believe will make PW very happy. The question is why this is being forced on the rest of us time and again.

      • SarahCS says:

        The sad thing is, this is probably for an audience of one.

      • Robert Phillips says:

        This is just another competition with Harry. There are a lot of comments saying Harry is sexy. So of course William demands the same thing.

    • Barnabus says:

      This isn’t a survey and no one voted. Marketing agency Reboot created an arbitrary list of traits “backed by science!” to yield the results they were paid to provide. I wonder how many categories they played with until they found the perfect blend of Rich Shiny Head to give William the win.

      The real question is: where’s Putin?

      • Christine says:

        Even Putin, shirtless, on that poor horse, is hotter than William. This is scraping the absolute bottom of the barrel, and Putin still wins.

        I need to go shower, immediately.

    • Cairidh says:

      If you Google prince William shirtless and prince William naked, all the photos that come up are of William when he was young, and hot, and not the least bit bald. So it’s possible some fans of the former golden boy youth do still google him. But adding that data to the bald men competition is misleading. Their other factors were height (he’s 6’3” so wins points) and wealth so yes he would have scored highly on every factor except shiny dome. I didn’t know that was a thing – are bald heads more attractive when they’re shiny?

  4. CherHorowitz says:

    Just here to say I really enjoyed the phrasing of the title of this article

  5. Anna says:

    I don’t know if William wants to do this. Last time he won “sexiest bald man” the internet absolutely roasted him. Which is to say, I hope this gets picked up and we can have round two of “literally anyone is sexier than William how dare -“

  6. LocaLady says:

    No Barry O? Make it make sense

    • Keke Swan says:

      Hate to say this because it might convey approval, but Jeff Bezos is about 100X sexier than the tragically unhip William.

  7. Eurydice says:

    It can happen – that’s how the puteketeke became the Bird of the Century. I can imagine William’s fans/derangers spending hours and hours googling “William, bald, naked.”

    • Amy Bee says:

      There was an actual survey for the Bird of the Century. According to this piece the William is the sexist bald man because of Google searches. It’s more likely that KP paid some bots to rig the google searches. There’s no way in hell that a majority of people think that William is the sexiest bald man in the world.

      • Eurydice says:

        This “study” doesn’t seem to be about who people, in general, think is the sexiest bald man. Whoever did the study picked out some criteria of their own – wealth, shiny scalp, vocal attractiveness, height and added in google searches for naked and shirtless.

        According to the helpful chart on the website – it looks like Will got 37,000 searches for “shirtless, naked” in the last year. Considering how many people on the planet use Google, that’s seems about right.

      • TigerMcQueen says:

        It’s also making an assumption that the key words used in the search mean one specific thing. I mean, I can see lots of people googling ‘william naked pictures with rose hanbury’ for example. Just googling ‘naked’ doesn’t mean you want to see the person unclothed, it could also mean you heard a rumor and are looking for tea.

      • Eurydice says:

        @TigerMcQueen – Lol, and they might have been googling “William naked mole rat.”

  8. Beverley says:

    Wow! Pegs is giving a supreme lack of confidence! Must be wretched to have to pay people to declare you “sexy”. This need of his is so cringe.

  9. Barbara says:

    This is hilarious. What about Patrick Stewart, Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham? The Egg shouldn’t even make the top 25.

    • Stella says:

      Yes to all of those, but also add in: Tyrese Gibson, Taye Diggs, Kevin Garnett, Omar Epps, Mark Strong, Boris Kodjoe, Terry Crews, Stanley Tucci, Corey Stoll, Common, Morris Chestnut, Bruce Willis, Jamie Foxx, Samuel L. Jackson, Vin Diesel, Michael Jordan, Ed Harris, John Malkovich. It’s super funny that there are a number of 60-80 year-old bald celebrities who are far sexier than Wills.

      • SussexWatcher says:

        Yes to everyone you both said, but I gotta add in a shoutout to Robert Saleh, coach of the NY Jets. Hate the Jets, but the coach is hot hot hot.

        Pegs is about as sexy as an open, rotting wound from a flesh eating virus.

      • Gabby says:

        Even Larry David is better.

      • Zo says:

        Yul Brynner is much sexier than William….and he’s dead.

  10. Polls lie!! Polls are rigged!! A hard boiled egg is sexier than Peg!! If I have to pick a bald man I would pick Patrick Stewart. He played Jean Luc Picard on Star Trek then next generation.

    • HeatherC says:

      Yes! I rediscovered my love for him during COVID pandemic when he would read a sonnet a day on Twitter. ::swoon::

  11. HeatherC says:

    This is a made up poll. William is the sexiest bald man alive when the following bald men are RIGHT THERE?:

    Jason Statham
    Stanley Tucci
    Dwayne Johnson
    Shemar Moore
    Patrick Stewart
    Mike Colter
    Corey Stoll
    Chris Daughtry
    Mark Strong

    Hell I’d put the baldies like Vin Diesel, John Travolta and the actual Voldemort ahead of William.

    This induced a deep belly laugh I needed to get my Friday going.

  12. Maxine Branch says:

    William just looks sloppy and nasty to me. He has zero glow is not charismatic and he reminds me of lurch the monster because of how violent and nasty he is. If it makes him feel good those diabolical folks in the gutter press will say it about him and his wife. But those of us who live in the real world know he is just an aging heir trying to be relevant while failing badly.

  13. TIFFANY says:

    Lesbians on Twitter had a field day with this one. My side hurt I was laughing so hard.

  14. bee says:

    What a bogus ranking! Just off the top of my head I can think of Statham, Bruce Willis, Dwayne Johnson, and McAvoy (when he was bald). Justice for bald men!

  15. Stella says:

    This is hysterical. I’m hard pressed to think of a bald man less sexy than Prince William.

  16. equality says:

    Someone is obviously full of it or there was some stimulus put out there to get people to google this out of curiousity. Try Shemar Moore shirtless. Someone should put up some comparison pix with a few other bald men shirtless.

  17. Jais says:

    Well, speaking of his bald head, I think he needs to do some maintenance and just get rid of those weird whisps at the top.

  18. Lau says:

    Not again ?!
    Might I suggest “Prince William bald, sexy, mooseknucle” as a research definitely googled by the interns ?

  19. Jensa says:

    Good grief. They’re really going all in on this “William as hunk / sex god” narrative, aren’t they? (But why??)
    And yet, we have eyes.

  20. Cel2495 says:

    William sexy?! 😂

    That man is not sexy ! He looks terrible for his age and is just plain ugly inside and outside.

  21. Bellah says:

    Is someone doing feasibility studies to test the dating pool?
    Could separation news be imminent?

  22. Cessily says:

    He should be absolutely embarrassed by this, the desperation is screaming.

  23. Heatherc

    2nd, 3rd and 4th that comment: the desperation is strong with KP….

  24. Miranda says:

    I’m curious as to whether William himself is actually requesting this sort of coverage, because I can’t imagine lacking self-awareness to the extent that I wouldn’t be embarrassed by this shit. But I guess no one has been blowing sunshine up my ass since the day I was born and telling me that I’m literally God’s gift to my country.

  25. Scooby Gang says:

    In the days since Peg spent taxpayer money to have himself announced as Sexiest Bald Egg, the number of Google searches for “Hard (Boiled) Peg Sexy Naked” has grown exponentially. And during the same period, the number of Amazon Prime orders for Pepto Bismol has risen at a commensurate rate.

    (… for my fellow Marvel fans.)

  26. Snuffles says:

    Well, now we know where Kate’s wig budget went.

  27. Over it says:

    Excuse me while I fall down with laughter. Wank the lurch is not sexy in no way shape or form. In the words of Martin and sandford, you uggglllyyyy.

  28. Mslove says:

    What’s next, a pic of a shirtless Peg on the cover of Vogue? I hope not.

  29. kelleybelle says:

    They really do pull this crap out of their behinds, don’t they? There WAS no poll. Stop trying to polish the ugly turd will you! So pathetic. They had the bots out in full force under Kate’s YT video too of her “landmark speech,” where she stood and read it, praising her to the heavens for … reading it. Ugh.

  30. Nerd says:

    Who else was in this survey… Shrek? It’s funny because I can’t think of any other unattractive bald men. William is at the bottom of the list and that’s including Shrek in the list. At least the only thing that’s an ass about Shrek is his friend Donkey.

  31. bubblegum dreams says:

    Lord Farquaad, I presume. Just add a wig to William and you have Lord Farquaad in living color.

  32. [insert_catchy_name] says:

    BAHAHA who in their right mind would do a google search for “shirtless William”.

    TBH I am actually tempted right now just to see what comes up, but you know what they say- “what has been seen cannot be unseen…”

  33. Murphy says:

    Not while Stanley Tucci graces this earth.

  34. Jay says:

    This is a ridiculous survey and the criteria are just…weirdly specific. Heights? Net worth?? Google keyword searches? That tells me that they knew he would not win on a subjective measurement!

    I also wonder if reports of Will’s rumoured outdoor unclothed activities around Norfolk contributed to more searches for him with the word “naked”.

  35. Mary Pester says:

    😂😂😂😂😂😂I’m sorry but 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, look everyone knows that Billy fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!
    What I want to know is how Billy boy has more money than Besos?? And who (other than Kate, her mother, rose and the new ahem (valet) have been looking for pictures of him naked. I didn’t realise that you could get R. S. I from doing so many Google searches? Is THAT why Kate keeps taping up her fingers?? Mind you, willy is saving money at the barbers, now he just asks for a short back and shine!!

  36. Susan says:

    So if I am understanding the search terms correctly people out there are looking for pictures of Prince William naked? The only thing worse than William’s “people” wanting him to win a poll like this (rigging a poll like this!) would be people out there actually LOOKING for pictures of a naked Prince William. There is not enough brain bleach in the world….

  37. CC says:

    Speaking of Addams Family characters, Christopher Lloyd as Uncle Fester is a sexier bald man than William.

  38. MsIam says:

    Not this again.

  39. Krista says:

    Bahahahahah. Bahahaha, Wonder how much he paid for this? Someone is having a midlife crisis.

  40. Blithe says:

    They left out some bits. Some Very Important bits. I confess that I, personally, have actually done a search that included the words “Prince William” and “naked” just like this study.

    Whole thing: “Prince William looks like a Naked Mole Rat”. The resemblance is unfortunate.

    • Agreatreckoning says:

      LOL. Yes @Blithe. They left out lots of bits. Like-Prince Will(not) (don’t want to add to the algorithm/search engine) is a sexy bald man…
      1. Hahahahahahaha
      3. In an alternate universe
      4. Not in my lifetime
      5. Per the 90 year olds that are becoming hard of seeing.
      6. /s
      7. Said no one ever-not even his wife.

      The list goes on. There is no way he would be considered the sexiest bald man. Ever.

      He “might” beat out these guys. Maybe. FYI, may not be safe for your eyeballs.

  41. Anonymous says:

    So they’re saying William is in the same sexiness category as Jeff Bezos? LOL.

    And you know who looks better bald? Men of color (if I’m allowed to say that). Michael Jordan, Denzel Washington, Common, Morris Chestnut, LL Cool J, Terry Crews, and even the Rock, can all “rock” a bald head. William just looks sad, and the baldness only emphasizes his pudgy facial features.

  42. J.Ferber says:

    Bullshit. Stanley Tucci alone puts him to shame.

  43. Liz in A says:

    Well, Will did just inherit tax free a shit ton of money, and of course the methodology looks at net worth, so he is going to top actors and people that are just ordinary sort of rich.

    “They also analysed celebrities’ heights, net worths and how shiny their scalps are to come up with a total “sexy” score out of 10.”

    So literally just from the money alone he gets a huge boost over anyone except Bezos really.

  44. Jeffrey York says:


  45. Monlette says:

    I can just imagine Jason Knauf cutting and pasting those keywords into a browser for hours on end

  46. QuiteContrary says:

    There is nothing sexy about combing a few stringy hairs over your bald pate … just shave it off, FFS.

    The notion that this psycho is sexy in any way is ludicrous. What I find truly sexy about a man is a warm smile — but William’s smile is unnerving and robotic.

  47. Lisa Vislocky says:

    Shemar Moore ….if only I were 50 years younger (sigh)

  48. paddingtonjr says:

    You know what all the other men listed have that Peggy lacks? Ambition, success, intelligence, confidence, all of which add to a person’s sex appeal. Harry isn’t considered sexy or handsome just based on his looks, it’s the whole package. Peggy and his minions are so small-minded, they think his looks and “position” = sexy, despite the fact that, even at his “best”, only Kate wanted him.

  49. Maria says:

    I have never found any of the royal men sexy. They are pretty lazy with their jobs so I am convinced they would be lazy in bed. Paul Newman and Brando were sexy IMHO.

  50. Anne Keane says:

    Soccer manager Pep Guardiola is a hot baldie.

  51. McGee says:

    That is embarrassing for him because it’s utterly laughable. I can instantly think of several guys who fit that moniker; Will wouldn’t even BE on a list that has the word “sexy” in the title, let alone “sexiEST.”

    Heck, even my cleaner (magic eraser) is a sexier baldie.

  52. Mwehaki says:

    This reminds me of another bogus survey that concluded that William was the most influential ‘Statesman’ in the US hahahaha! more influential than Biden and all other leaders past and present.

  53. Beverley says:


  54. ChattyCath says:

    Humpty Dumpty

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