One of my favorite gossip genres is “celebrity women talking about how happy they are to be single/unmarried/childfree.” One of the things I loved about Jada Pinkett Smith’s memoir promotion was her talk about how, after years of marriage to Will, she basically just wanted her own space, her own home, her own separate life. She talked about living by herself and she sounded super-happy. Patricia Clarkson, Whoopi Goldberg and many other women have also talked about how much they enjoy sleeping and living alone. Now it’s time for Linda Evangelista to talk about it too!
Linda Evangelista isn’t jumping back into the dating pool anytime soon. The Canadian supermodel, 58, said she is “not interested” in dating as she disclosed her thoughts on finding romance again in a new interview with The Sunday Times.
“I don’t want to sleep with anybody anymore,” Evangelista told the outlet. “I don’t want to hear somebody breathing.”
The model icon disclosed that the last time she dated was “definitely before the Cool-Sculpting,” referring to the fat reduction procedure she said left her “permanently deformed” and brutally disfigured” after undergoing sessions from August 2015 to February 2016.
Evangelista was previously married to Gérald Marie, the former head of Elite Model Management’s Paris office. The pair tied the knot in 1987 when she was just 22 and he was 37, and divorced in 1993.
“I was clueless. Absolutely clueless…there had to be something endearing to fall for,” Evangelista said of the relationship. In the Apple TV+ docuseries The Super Models that premiered in September, Evangelista alleged that her ex-husband physically abused her during their marriage. The runway star said in the show that she felt encouraged to speak out following accusations of sexual misconduct and rape towards Marie from over a dozen women in 2020.
Evangelista told The Sunday Times that she didn’t tell anyone about the alleged abuse at the time as she was “afraid” and “doesn’t know” if anyone else knew. She said that she spent the money she earned from modeling “getting out” of her marriage” as “it was everything” to her.
I’m sorry, but I feel “I don’t want to hear somebody breathing” so strongly. She is me, I am her. When you’re happy in your own company, you don’t want to hear someone else snoring away or what have you. Now, do I think that it might be different for her if she hadn’t gone through her medical ordeal? Not to mention, surviving an abusive marriage? For sure. But I also think she’s probably just at an age and stage of her life where she doesn’t feel like managing a man’s ego or hearing him breathe.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
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- Linda Evangelista beim 2. Kering Foundation s Caring for Women Dinner im The Pool, New York, 12.09.2023 *** Linda Evangelista at 2 Kering Foundation s Caring for Women Dinner at The Pool, New York, 12 09 2023. Foto:xB.xHinex/xFuturexImagex kering_3923,Image: 804921286, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO/Barbara Hine / Avalon
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- Linda Evangelista beim 2. Kering Foundation s Caring for Women Dinner im The Pool, New York, 12.09.2023 *** Linda Evangelista at 2 Kering Foundation s Caring for Women Dinner at The Pool, New York, 12 09 2023. Foto:xB.xHinex/xFuturexImagex kering_3922,Image: 804921304, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO/Barbara Hine / Avalon
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- News – Fendi – Celebrity – Milan Fashion Week – Womenswear Spring/Summer 2024 Linda Evangelista arrives at the Fendi Spring Summer 2024 fashion show on September 20, 2023 in Milan, Italy.,Image: 807031160, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO/Cinzia Camela / LiveMedia / Avalon
Sometimes when my husband breathes or chews his food I not only don’t want to be married to him, I don’t want him on this planet.
Hahaha same gurl same…I love my husband but that doesn’t mean I want to be glued to his side, and sometimes he gets on my last NERVE, and it’s the same for him. Separate spaces are the best way to make a marriage last. Linda, Patricia and the rest are my spirit animals!
In our little town there is a old couple who don’t live together, both widowed. Most mornings he drives over one street to hang out with her or vice versa, and then they return to their own houses in the afternoon. I dream about that haha
OMG. When he gets out the cookies and milk I wanna leave the room. But then I remind myself it’s his home too and I am probably just as annoying when I do … something, dunno what. And I do love him. I was alone for 20+ years and we just got married – both senior citizens – and in my less insane moments I really appreciate aging with a partner.
Bahaha same here!!
Dead accurate ⚰️😂😂😂
Jumping up top here just to thank all of you down page for sharing your rich, beautiful, complicated, sometimes heart-breaking, often funny-as-hell stories. What a wonderful community. I’m proud of everyone, lol. Carry on, ladies.
48 yo here and I feel this way. I have been married (11 yrs) and in a 6 year relationship and I am just done wasting energy in a romantic relationship. It’s so much work for relatively little benefit; it just doesn’t make sense. I believe in love and that some partners can do it healthfully but I, apparently, cannot.
I am 54 and feel the same way. My only child left the nest two years ago and I love living alone. My longest relationship was with his father, but we never lived together, so I am really enjoying my daily peace. A friend was asking me if I thought I’d ever be in another relationship, and I told her that it would have to be an amazing man to make me change my mind. I have a dog, a cat, and I see my family and friends frequently. I am good on my own.
Talk that talk, CL. Preach!
I’ve felt this way after the honeymoon phase is over and the real work on maintaining the relationship kicks in. No matter how well it’s going sometimes I daydream about being by myself, in my own space, free from patriarchal influences and casually conditioned white supremacy.
This, all of this. In the midst of a divorce and I’m counting down the days for him (and his mother and his children from a previous marriage) to get out of my space. After 23 years of marriage where he controlled every single thing (from the color and style of the curtains, to all the appliances, to how the clothes are folded), I finally bought curtains in the style and color I liked and moved the furniture around while he and his mother were away for 5 days. He was so shocked when got back. LOL
I love this for you, sis.
Good for you!!! Love this
I have ended a 6 year relationship and over the 48 mark. I am more than thrilled with only the prospect of my own company and my pets in the future. I am not interested in dating, in romantic relationships or anything of the kind. Talking and spending time with a girlfriend or two is all I need for human company. No, I don’t want to hear any man breathing, eating, pacing or talking whatever egotistical garbage they need to spew. I am done and very happy about it.
I’ve been with the nice man i live with for a little over a decade. But when we moved in together, i was over 40 and had always more or less been single- and he was over 55.
Separate bedrooms. Best decision ever. We obviously hang out together, and sometimes have sleepovers. But- we both knew we needed our own spaces.
And if i know i’m feeling cranky- i tell him, you probably don’t want to hang out with me tonight- i don’t want to be mad about something unrelated and and snap at him over …. his breathing.
I can’t believe how well the whole thing has worked and for how long.
I’m crazy about him.
My grandparents had separates rooms, when I was a child for me it was weird.
Now?
Oh grandma I GET IT.
Never been married, but my longest relationship lasted 10 years, we lived together, and for me it was more than enough.
Recently I have been dumped because sorry I don’t want to live with someone else anymore.
No way.
He thought that this is a lack of commitment…Mr 2 ex wives….
Good luck with number 3 😏
I wish more people would be open about this.
I was never more lonely than when I was married. Emotionally distant Hub. I put 125% into his happiness, thinking it would make things better. No I simply became invisible, even to myself.
Divorced over 20+ years. Never, ever, ever again.
Remember Samantha in Sex and the City?
“I love me more.” This should be taught in school!
Yes, love is real. But IRL many, many of us are better off going on our own.
To the young women, I truly mean this…. “You. You can take care of yourselves, do not give years of your life to “trying to make it worth” Hard lesson learned.
I’ve been saying for years that I never want to see someone else’s dirty socks ever again
Oh my gosh, yes. I’ve been happily single for 20+ years. I don’t want to listen to a man, pick up after him or deal with one whining about what he wants for dinner. I’m really 100% better on my own.
Seriously, @Barbara, about the whining about dinner. The number of times I’d have been content with cheese and crackers or a salad, and instead was obligated to make a gargantuan man-meal in order to prevent the ogre from coming out.
Same. I barely have time to take care of myself, I have no desire to take care of anyone else and cater to their needs. Most single men in my age range are divorced and looking for someone to take over all that emotional load and housework and everything and I am not here for it.
If I ever met someone worth spending time with, I want them to have their own place to live. My house is mine, LOL.
My friend group is half married, half single, and all us single ladies are feeling the same way, most of the time it’s not worth the trouble, and we all are just fine living by ourselves.
I feel this so deeply. I recently filed for divorce from an emotionally abusive husband. It took me YEARS to fully see the scope of the abuse. Despite the grievous process that is divorce, not having him snoring next to me all night is so peaceful. Not to mention, as @Myeh said, the patriarchal influences and casually conditioned supremacy that is part of daily life with a man. To hell with it. No man is worth it. They’re all entirely too much work. Maybe some woman is out there enjoying some unicorn man somewhere? As for me, I am very much enjoying not having a man in my life, and the thrill of being free to buy myself a g*damn pair of holiday pajamas without being side-eyed or interrogated. I’m with Linda on this: I choose peace.
Alone, but not lonely. I heard that somewhere long, long ago and it etched itself into my brain.
It’s entirely possible, and for some preferable, to have a full, fulfilling life without a live-in partner.
I feel this so much and have done for years now. It feels really validating to hear someone with a platform talking about it.
I’ve been on YouTube and TikTok seeing a LOT of this lately. And it’s not just the older women. There are tons of women in their 20s and 30s saying the same thing.
Lots of talk about “de-centering” men. Rejecting the old school standards and roles. Realizing that men benefit disproportionately more from this set up than women. Men wanting a “traditional wife” then expect them to work and pay half of everything, then come home and take care of him, the children and the household management.
And a lot of women not wanting kids because of this, and the fact that it’s too damn expensive to have one these days.
And so many men flipping out when they see a happy, single, child free woman and telling them they were put on this earth to procreate and they are going to die alone with their cats (don’t threaten me with a good time!).
Women are saying that the men better be fucking SPECTACULAR and make their life better before they even consider committing to marriage and children.
It’s all very interesting. A slow moving revolution.
Glorious!
All of this!!!
Why would I want to include someone in my life if they DON’T make it better?
And it’s almost comical to see how many men are threatened by a woman saying they don’t need them, marriage, children, etc. Why? Just leave us alone.
My therapist used to say, “It takes a really good man to be better than no man at all.”
Can confirm as a 30 some who lived with partners throughout most of my 20s. Never ever again. My house, my castle.
As I said before I have been dumped over this.
Wedding, children, living together are off the table, I was clear since the beginning.
He was like “cool I want an independent woman”.
5 months into the relationship he was wining”I always come after in your life.
After the work, the colleagues, the friends, the gym etc. Etc.”.
According to him I should have renounced to my life all of a sudden. For what ?
To take care of a 45 yo with a mummy issue ?
No thanks, sip from the glass if wine and scratches the cat.
Rebecca Traister wrote a fantastic book about this called All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation (2016). I loved it, and clearly, her thesis is holding up nicely.
My “sperm donor” (because he never fathered us) left my mom and 3 kids with no child support in 1960. I was boy crazy and wild, engaged when I was 20 but got cold feet and broke his heart. Marriage always represented “ownership” and prison to me and my nature. I have lived with 3 different boyfriends so it’s not like I haven’t tried…but living solo with my pets (happily child free) 2 cats, is blissful to me. I have a long term relationship with an amazing man I have never wanted to live with, hence the long term relationship! Never married, never divorced at 65. Still the thought of sharing my space with any human let alone a man makes my skin crawl. Zero stress zone, thank you!
Oh yeah, I get it. Married 20 years — and really, he’s a wonderful man — but sometimes I dream about living on my own.
On the other hand, being single has not been good for my mom. When her husband was alive, she got out more — I think because she didn’t want to be stuck at home with him all the time! But after he died, she stopped seeing friends (she was never great at maintaining female relationships at the best of times), and frankly, she’s gotten really lazy. She doesn’t have any hobbies and doesn’t do much besides watch a lot of television. I’d be okay with it if she was happy but she’s not. It’s pretty sad.
As a woman who has been married 20+ years, not particularly happily but still dealing with the Catholic guilt I was raised with, I would NEVER get married again. If my husband was to die anytime soon I would spend the next however many decades I have left with my books, dog, and adult kids, doing what *I* want to without the guilt. *Most* men seem to think they are the main character in their marriages. Everything revolves around their wants and needs. It’s exhausting and I wouldn’t do it again.
My ex husband would fall asleep with his head tilted back, and breathe HEAVILY through his mouth, like, haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I used to absolutely fricking hate having his breath in my face or feeling the condensation on my head and neck. Shudder.
I’ve been in a wonderful relationship with my partner for the last 13 years but we live in separate houses. This arrangement works beautifully for us.
My husband and I sleep in separate rooms. It is WONDERFUL. I love him to death and our relationship is great, but adults need their own sleeping space (IMO). I sleep like a baby now that my kids are 11 and 9 and don’t have to share sheets or blankets or hear anyone else breathing. I love it!
Ditto — Mr. Jaded is type 1 diabetic and has both an insulin pump and a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) and between the two of them it’s beeps, honks, buzzes all night long as his blood sugar gets too high or too low. Separate bedrooms is a godsend.
This thread is depressing. I am happily married for 20 years, two kids, and career. My husband does most of the housework and bends over backwards to make me happy. My family is riddled with divorce and awful men (including my father) but this thread is disgusting. Many women long for marriage and happy ones do exist. Women who wish their husbands away should think otherwise. I know widows and divorced women who realize the grass isn’t greener. Don’t take people for granted. I grew up in an abusive home and yet still appreciate men. Women can be awful too.
Maybe if men stopped taking ‘people for granted’, like you say in your post, more women would be happy to keep them. And I say this as a happily married women of 10 years myself. I’m not naive, however.
Amen, sister.
@Bunny I would’ve said the same about my abusive husband and marriage ten years ago. I hope, for your sake, that you are correct about your perception of your life, and that you do not discover, as many women do in the winter of their lives, that things are not what they seem. I do wonder if your husband is not so much ‘bending over backwards to make you happy,’ (his words?) so much as doing just more than the bare minimum society expects of men. Anyway, congratulations on your privilege and may your bubble never burst. The many women who have suffered in miserable marriages congratulate you.
Why would @Bunny not be correct about her “perception” of her life? She’s the one living it, not you. Your comment veers into the sarcastic with “congratulations on your privilege and may your bubble never burst” and “the many women who have suffered in miserable marriages congratulate you”.
I was single for 11 years, not so much as a coffee date, because I’d had several relationships with men who were…shall I say…less than giving and responsible. However I, like Bunny, lucked out with a great guy. He does much of the housework, cleans up after meals because he can’t cook (and when he does his food is basically inedible), and nursed me through breast cancer. Not all men are lazy, shiftless jerks.
TIL that it’s a “privilege” to enjoy being with your spouse/partner, or at least sleeping with them. WTF??
I won’t go so far as call it “depressing” but it definitely makes me recognize that what I have is pretty rare. I’ve been married almost 19 years; we have a teen and a tween, and my husband is honestly my favorite adult on the planet. Yes, we get on each others’ nerves from time to time, and yes I require more “me time” than he does to function (which he courteously respects, thank you!), but we are a team and I love it, completely and utterly. I love always having someone in my corner. He’s my person.
I take exception to the little throwaway “when you’re happy in your own company you don’t want to hear someone snoring.” I AM happy in my own company. I love being by myself. I have no problem with solitude. I also love spending time with my husband, whether we’re doing something or nothing.
I think you can be happy by yourself or with a partner, and you can be miserable either way, too. I’ve often said that if anything happens to him, I’ll be happily alone for the rest of my life. We’ve worked out a partnership and a life and a home that fulfills us both, and I don’t think I’d get lucky enough to get that a second time. But I sure do love it in the now.
Ummmm @bunny I would believe you more if you didn’t sound so damn defensive. It’s almost like you’re angry with women enjoying a different experience than yours. Why is that I wonder?
Good for you! Reading this thread should make you feel very lucky then.
If me and my partner and kids could just have a row of houses like this: https://c.stocksy.com/a/I5gD00/z9/3260040.jpg
LOVE Linda! And, yes, I was single for a long time because it just wasn’t worth it. I didn’t want compromise to mean that I was responsible for some man’s meals, and happiness, and house. I realized that none considered me an equal even if I made more money. So I never married until 11 years ago.
Hubby doesn’t expect me to do everything domestic, sacrifice my career, all of the shitty, user crap than so many men bring into relationships. If not for him, I’d be pleasantly alone with my cat.
Still have the cat, and he loves her, too!
Remember that Linda has had 2 battles with breast cancer. In addition to all the crap with the cool sculpting. Speaking for myself, my urge to partner up DIED with my cancer diagnosis. I have limited years left, I don’t want to waste a single day out looking for someone new when it could be spent with the numerous family and friends I already have. I need to focus 100% on myself, my health, my doctor appointments, my sleep and nutrition and exercise priorities. I had one lonely lopsided marriage, I feel like I learned my lesson, escaped and don’t look back. I can be exquisitely unabashedly self centered (while also be an excellent sister, aunt and friend) now and that is what works for me. Different strokes for different folks.
I wish you all the love and joy in the world.
She’s still stunning, and was always one of my faves of the great supermodels of the 80’s/90’s. Glad to hear she’s doing so well and living life on her terms. We should all be doing that.
I feel this so much. I hate gross human noises like snoring and open mouth chewing so much that if I can’t drown them out with white noise, I have a hard time not losing my shit. I would NEVER be able to peacefully share personal space with someone who does either or both of those things. Like, I shared a room with my sister while visiting family a few years ago, and she snores like a buzzsaw and I nearly had a nervous breakdown, lol. Went out to get noise canceling headphones the next morning.
I am like this too with any kind of human ‘mouth noises from other people’.
Btw it’s a real condition and it’s called mysophonia.
Basically it means that anytime you hear any kind of unwanted sound, it triggers your fight of flight response.
When I am on public transport and someone is wheezing, sniffing, chewing, sucking, hacking or doing any of the ‘mouth sounds’, I have to remove myself from the situation or my blood pressure goes through the roof.
It’s only with humans though, when my pets chew or slurp water I find it delightful!
For this reason alone I know I will never partner up again – just fur-babies for me from now on!
Lol! Same here!!!! My cat sometimes makes the most adorable, cute little sounds when she sleeps. I love her purring, feeling her tiny perfect nose on my nose, her whiskers tickling my face when she wants to wake me up. Heck, I don’t even mind being woken up by my cat. I love feeling her jelly beans when she gently caresses my face. Unlike human hands, those Jelly beans are never clammy or sweaty. My cat can take up more than half the bed but she’s the only one I love sharing the bed with.
I’d love her to write an autobiography. It would be very interesting and revealing. She obviously knows so much about that time period and the people, being right in the middle of it herself. I’d definitely buy her book.
Around the same age and been married … oh, a quarter of a century sounds like a really long time… and I could totally give notes to those twenty-somethings about all that is great about not getting married. From what I hear, they totally know without my notes.
Yes, I am on my own. Which after my lonely marriage, it is still a better situation vs. a bad marriage.
I have several young nieces who are completely being raised to be future “Stepford” wives.
I try to talk to them, to open them to being able to be their own person.
One 14 y/o has been saying for a few years “I’m going to marry a Doctor and have a perfect life.”
Her Mom and Grandmother openly encourage this thinking.
All of them see her attending college as a get your “Mrs.” degree.
It makes my stomach turn. I have spoken with her Dad about this repeatedly.
HOW can anyone still consider this as a parent? It is NOT 1920.
I’m a romantic and I really want a loving, happy relationship but I know that I also never want to live with a man full-time *ever*. I could live with them 3 (maybe 4) days a week but that is it. I love my own space too much.
I came here to say SHE IS ME too.
Honestly we get along when we are both working, but if we both are around each other 24/7, I have concerns…..
Being with my husband for almost 10 years now I really believe that sometimes people confuse shared interests with shared values. You actually don’t have to have that many interests in common with your SO. That eventually comes with time as both your interests mesh. But you do need to be aligned on values. And to love each other, that helps too! If you have that everything else is easier.