Ariana Grande’s ‘Yes, and?’ song is being blasted for ‘lacking remorse & empathy’

Last week, Ariana Grande released her latest single, “yes, and?” Before we discuss the lyrics and message, let’s talk about the music video, which is a hilariously cheap imitation of Paula Abdul’s incredible music video for “Cold Hearted.” Abdul’s “Cold Hearted” video is iconic – directed by David Fincher!! – and it showed off Abdul’s strengths as a dancer and choreographer. Ari’s video is just her, posing and looking prissy and washed out. The ashy blonde looks awful on her and oh, by the way, the song sucks.

A sampling of the lyrics: “Yes, and?/Say that sh-t with your chest, and/Be your own f–kin’ best friend.” And: “Now, I’m so done with caring/What you think, no, I won’t hide/Underneath your own projections/Or change my most authentic life.” This is the lyric which got the most attention: “What’s mine is mine/My face is sitting, I don’t need no disguise/Don’t comment on my body, do not reply/Your business is yours and mine is mine/Why do you care so much whose d–k I ride?/Why?”

So, Ariana has spent the past six months dealing with the breakup of her first marriage, which came around the same time she began having an affair with a married man, Ethan Slater. Her affair with Slater blew up last July and Ariana was in the trenches because Slater’s wife would not go away and allow Ari to run the table. At the time of Ethan and Ari’s affair, Ethan and Lilly Jay’s child wasn’t even one year old. Ari started f–king a married man who had a wife and child at home, then Ari threw a huge tantrum when Lilly openly bad-mouthed her. This is the opposite of “Your business is yours and mine is mine/Why do you care so much whose d–k I ride?” Chica, your business was all over the tabloids because you made a huge mess which hurt your man’s wife and child. Ari’s fans are not happy about any of this, and it looks like Lilly Jay still wants her feelings to be known as well. From a Daily Mail exclusive:

Ariana Grande has come under fire from those close to Ethan Slater’s estranged wife Lilly Jay, who accused the singer of failing to exhibit any ‘remorse’ over her controversial relationship with the theatre star in her new single, Yes, And?

A source close to Lilly, 29, slammed the singer for her ‘disrespectful’ attitude and accused her of a complete lack of ’empathy.’

‘For her to take the opportunity in her first song since all of this went down to show a complete lack of remorse for her actions is utterly disrespectful,’ the insider raged. ‘Ariana is dating a man who is still married. She is flaunting her relationship with a married man – a married man who has a one-year-old child at home with his still wife. Yes, Ariana has destroyed a home and she does not seem to care.’

The source ripped into the singer for failing to take the time to exhibit growth and humility amid the widespread criticism she has faced for her new relationship. ‘She lacks empathy,’ they continued. ‘Ariana could have taken this opportunity to create music that would be therapeutic for her to heal and for fans to listen to. She could have taken this time to create art that would help those who were hurt to heal. But she didn’t. She created art that basically says, “f*** you I don’t care what I did to hurt anyone because I am happy.”‘

A source close to Ariana hit back at the accusations, claiming the song does not ‘address anyone specific.’

‘The song clearly does not address anyone specific or any one specific instance,’ they told ‘Ariana has been the subject of public scrutiny for over a decade. If you watch the video, the people she’s performing to are literally played by critics. The lyrics and the video are really quite clear. It is a song about not judging each other or a situation by hearsay and about how you never know what people are going through or healing from.’

[From The Daily Mail]

I think the video is supposed to be more about “Ari vs the critics” but the lyrics are about Spongebob Sidepiece and his wife. The thing is, music critics were never raging about Ariana’s music either way – she has her fans and she has people who don’t care about her music, and that’s it. She’s never made music for the critics anyway? Which is why the whole thing falls flat, lyrically, visually, artistically. It makes no sense. And yes, Ari does come across as someone who lacks empathy. I hate to frame it this way, but Ari simply isn’t a “girl’s girl.” She doesn’t have female friends who are like “girl, can you stop f–king married men?”

Photos courtesy of Ariana’s Instagram.

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92 Responses to “Ariana Grande’s ‘Yes, and?’ song is being blasted for ‘lacking remorse & empathy’”

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  1. Laalaa says:

    I am NO Ariana fan, ESPECIALLY because of her personal choices, but that song is such a bop I am frustrated how much I love it.
    And Paula Abdul loves it.
    As for the lyrics… as per usual, she doesn’t pronounce the words when she sings, so annoying.
    Other than that – everybody loves it, especially the critics. It is a smart move. Although frustrating.

    • CherHorowitz says:

      Yes I am disappointed to say I enjoyed the song, despite how clearly ripped off from Madonna’s Vogue it is and despite the shamelessness of the message.

      I mean, this is a woman who released ‘break up with your girlfriend I’m bored’ so… what do we expect at this point?!

    • Barnabus says:

      The song is good in the disposable manner of most pop music. Not sure why she didn’t release it in the summer.

      Paula Abdul’s Coldhearted video was an homage to Bob Fosse’s film All That Jazz. And she knocked it out of the arena.

      • sunny says:

        Well Paula was an excellent dancer, a dancer first before singer and one of the best modern choreographers of all time(look at the work she did for Janet Jackson) so of course her work hit.

        I think Ari’s video pulls a lot from Cold Hearted Snake but because she isn’t the dancer Paula is, it just falls flat.

        I like the song but I think the message doesn’t quite land when she did all that PR work to try to clean up her relationship timeline. If she had stayed silent and came out with this, I think the message of why do you care would have landed much better. Instead, with her actions, she showed us that she was deeply worried about what we think of her messy choices.

      • MichaelaCat says:

        “Everybody loves it”

        No. Not at all.

        Ariana makes a lot of powerful people in the music industry, so I don’t doubt that’s what they want everyone to think.

    • AlpineWitch says:

      The most annoying part is her voice, to be fair 😆

      And although I don’t like her particularly in any sense, I don’t know why anyone would expect remorse from a cheater anyway, my father never had any for the hurt he caused to my mum for 20 years and his long-term side-piece was at his funeral playing his widow. My parents had been separated (living in different houses too) for 14 years at the time of his death but never legally divorced (lack of money for lawyers on both sides).

    • Fabiola says:

      Her songs are always catchy. They make for good radio songs. Her personal life is hers. The only person who I can’t listen to their music anymore is puff daddy after the Cassie allegations.

  2. Big Bertha says:

    Perhaps she’s talking about that horrid dishwater blond in the lyrics.

  3. Snuffles says:

    Sorry, Ari. You just can’t wave this away with a cheeky “Yes…and?”. You destroyed TWO marriages and a family.

    And the song is a rip off of Madonna’s Vogue.

    • Mika says:

      She destroyed her marriage, he destroyed his. Can we not make the man blameless? He was his wife’s husband and his child’s ffather. And while I personally think it’s messed up she us attracted to a man who would homewreck so readily, he wrecked his home. She only wrecked hers.

      • MichaelaCat says:

        Nobody said the man was blameless.
        I am also not going to act as if an affair partner is blameless.
        Ariana met the wife.
        She still didn’t care.

        Plenty of blame to go around for both of them, for both marriages.

      • Nic919 says:

        that argument only works when you don’t write a song about the affairs you are having. She’s putting attention on SpongeBob and his ex wife and baby with this song. So yeah she takes some blame here.

  4. equality says:

    ‘It is a song about not judging each other or a situation by hearsay and about how you never know what people are going through or healing from.’ Well, I guess, her husband and his wife are going through some things and hopefully healing.

  5. Flamingo says:

    I love the Daily Mail they take everything to Shakespearean heights of tragedy and drama. When it’s just a song, not a diary. And all they need is a ‘source’ to run with it.

    I highly doubt the estranged wife is raging somewhere in the world over a song.

    It’s a decent dance song, which will do well in the clubs – but yeah, the obvious rip-off to cold hearted snake – and not an ‘homage’ is too obvious.

    • MichaelaCat says:

      Songs that get played millions of times are not “just” nothing because the words are being sung instead of spoken or written.

      It’s shitty to do this. She’s not an edgy 20 year old anymore either.

      Just trashy all around.

      • Flamingo says:

        well, glad you can understand the lyrics since all I heard was her breathy light voice and barely got a few words out of Yes, And and was more focused on the Cold Hearted Snake rip off.

        I don’t think this song is going to be some big hit just another rotation in the clubs.

      • Kezzle says:

        I hate the song, hate the lyrics, hate the video but mainly hate how much it is You Can’t Stop The Beat.

  6. Pinkosaurus says:

    She clearly has not matured or grown emotionally since the donut licking.

  7. Stef says:

    The song sucks and she sucks at being a good person. She’s vile and karma is a b!tch.

    • MichaelaCat says:

      I don’t understand why people are defending this mess. Because she is/was America’s pop princess?

      This is just shitty and shows a total lack of class.

      • Stef says:

        Agreed! She was laying low for several months and then re-emerges with this tone deaf garbage? She’s dumber than I thought.

      • Normades says:

        This. She was laying low and waiting for the scandal to blow over but has pushed it back to the forefront again. The Wicked producers must be livid.

  8. SAS says:

    I thought the music was great but the song was terrible if that makes sense. Such a waste- Dua Lipa could have made magic with it!

    I’m not mad about the video, Ari regularly pays tributes to the divas so nice to see Paula Abdul be honoured, and good timing considering everything she’s currently going through.

    It’s hard to tell how much of how “off” she looks is to do with the awful blonde. I cannot understand why she didn’t just go for a wig for Glinda. She looks incredibly unwell to me. She’s someone who I’m always curious about their next album though so I’m keen to hear more of this messiness lol.

    • Robert Phillips says:

      Her whole public persona is that high pony tale and the baby doll talking. And guess what. She’s getting too old to keep doing that. And unlike Cher and Madonna. I don’t think she can switch to another one. I think she was going to try with the movie. But she messed that up with all this drama. She’s going to end up looking like Bette Davis in Whatever happened to baby Jane.

  9. Amy Bee says:

    The song is boring to me. She’s trying to pretend that she doesn’t care about the criticism but this song and video says the opposite.

    • Teddy says:

      Same re: the song. And when you genuinely don’t care about something, you’re not talking about it non-stop. It’s giving serious spoiled brat vibes.

  10. Stop putting you dirty laundry out there then people won’t criticize you. When you cheat and then try to play victim it’s a horrible look. My advice is grow up take one relationship at a time and end it before starting another and also keep your dick riding life out of the public.

  11. sevenblue says:

    “Your business is yours and mine is mine/Why do you care so much whose d–k I ride?/Why?”

    That is the thing, after denials of cheating, that was the defense Ariana’s fans made online on her behalf. “It isn’t your husband, why do you care?”. So, yeah the song is about her online critics who comment on her body, spread gossip, but also who judge her for getting with taken men. She simply doesn’t care. I have read that her father cheated on her mom and basically left the family for his affair partner. She has now a relationship with her father, but I think she still has childhood issues affecting her choices. She is always talking about healing, while her choice of going after taken men shows that healing is just a vibe to her, otherwise why would someone who has everything got with a man with a baby and postpartum wife?

  12. LooneyTunes says:

    Song does sound like Vogue and the video is reductive. She’s zipping her own kool aid bc there was nothing sexy about her or her dancing. At least Paula could dance.

  13. Gr says:

    Haven’t heard the song, but for centuries women have fallen victim emotionally and economically to the fickleness of men and their “affair partners.” It’s not just a home she broke up – I doubt the guy pulls the kind of money to set up his ex and child well, and I would believe his ex was planning her career around his. It’s not just a “break up” when someone had a life with someone else. If Ariana is offended people are holding her accountable, she’s bound to be on the receiving end of this someday.

    • MoxyLady007 says:

      So much this.

      There was so much here. Two people planning their futures – who would work, when they would work, who would do the bulk of the childcare, if that would change, what they can afford TOGETHER etc.

      And now that’s completely shattered and she needs to figure it out all by herself. Pivoting from the well thought out plan to a whole life she didn’t imagine much less prepare for. Childcare, finding work that’s childcare friendly – ie not doing what she trained to do since she doesn’t have a partner or an established career and doing theater won’t pay anywhere close enough or provide her with the time to be a mother. Which she obviously prioritized.

    • Bumblebee says:

      OK, but none of this, is Ariana’s fault. She made plans, said vows with, gave things up for, her husband. That’s who gets the blame for what you’re talking about here.

      • sevenblue says:

        @Bumblebee, Ariana is the one singing a song about riding a married man’s D, that’s why we are talking about her. If his married boyfriend starts saying sh*t publicly about the mess he created, the conversation will shift to him, I am sure. Also, why shouldn’t we judge a woman in her 30’s getting with a married man with a wife and baby? She must have no empathy if she thought it is acceptable to be with him and then write a song about that in a most shameful way.

      • Jaded says:

        “None of this is Ariana’s fault”? WTAF? She’s not some innocent little waif who got manipulated into an affair with a very married man with a BABY. What they did was unethical, hurtful and selfish. And now she’s singing about how it’s nobody’s business whose d*ck she rides? She’s gleefully adding insult to injury because she’s a heartless, self-obsessed narcissist, and I’m glad she’s getting so much blow-back. I hope it wrecks her career, and his.

      • Reborn Rich says:

        sevenblue & Jaded,

        We live in a world where people with some mix of talent, fortune, and fame can do anything they want. AG has never carried a baby to term with a ten-year partner, so she does not seem to understand that specific level of vulnerability.

        Many people think that there is nothing wrong with starting a relationship with a married father of an infant. They see no moral component to choosing to enter a relationship like this, especially if the woman is single.

      • Nic919 says:

        FFS she gets blame for writing a damn song about this cheating.

        She could have stayed quiet but chose not to. All criticism is deserved for writing this song and pretending it’s not about the affair.

  14. B says:

    I just watched.

    I’ll never get those three minutes back.

  15. Hellohello says:

    This is an obscure reference but I went back and watched the video for “Cold Hearted Snake” and it’s clearly an homage to/ripoff of a scene from All That Jazz (Bob Fosse):

    • Mimi says:

      But they say that at the beginning, “it should be fine, it’s a Fosse piece” or something like that. Ariana just does it without referencing anything or anyone, as if it’s new.

    • Barnabus says:

      It’s not obscure at all. I made this reference earlier.

  16. HeatherC says:

    She destroyed her marriage. He destroyed his own home. Where she gets flak from me is the publicity tour and “sources” leaking how happy and in love or whatever they are (for now). That’s a whole rubbing it in the exwife’s face that she won, imo.

  17. JaneS says:

    At the end of the day, she was married and the current guy was also married with a young child = this makes them both scum, cruel, cheaters that ruined 2 marriages for a fling.
    Now she wants to make $$ off their chesting?
    Go away, little miss donut licker.

  18. Ann says:

    I can’t understand most of what she’s saying and I only know about the dick riding lyric because I read it, can’t hear it worth a damn from listening. She wants to be a garbage human being, fine. But can she at least just freaking enunciate in the process? Such a waste of a beautiful voice.

  19. Hm says:

    I had a friend like this— beautiful, and used her beauty and sexual power to dick around with weak, sycophantic men as a form of validation and entertainment. Once the man started asking for some loyalty and a little respect, she was onto her next victim. No remorse. Just a trail of brokenhearted men and broken families. I am friends with one of her victims, and twenty years later, he remains deeply broken by the lovebomb-devalue-discard. Ariana will move on from this guy, onto her next victim, without once looking back at the trail of destruction. It’s not a matter of if, but when.

    • Hm says:

      To be clear, this dude is in the wrong for his choices.

    • Fabiola says:

      Sponge bob made vows with his wife and he is the one that ruined his marriage. He told Ariana it was over and she believed what she wanted to believe. It’s already out there they can’t undo it so there’s no point in hiding out. Ariana will get tired of sponge bob soon enough and he will regret everything but it will be too late by then

      • Nic919 says:

        Ariana wrote a song about the cheating. So this pushback is on her choice to do so. She could have written a ton of songs about anything else.

      • sevenblue says:

        @Fabiola, Lily visited the set and had dinners with Ariana and her husband. Ethan didn’t lie to Ariana, she was fully aware he was married with a baby. Ariana even liked Ethan’s post for Lily on mother’s day gushing about Lily and their relationship. Also, there is a time period where Ariana and Ethan blocked each other on socials. It is the time when Lily learned about the affair and decided to forgive Ethan. So, they put a stop to it until Lily went back home. All these got discovered by Ari’s own stans following her every move, every social media likes. Ariana is an international popstar in her 30s. She is not a naive baby. She can get with anyone she wants and she chose a married man.

      • Reborn Rich says:


        Some people think sleeping with married men is absolutely fine, and that women owe nothing to other women. It’s just how it is.

  20. DeluxeDuckling says:


  21. Dani says:

    She has a wonderful voice but absolutely no sex appeal. She can’t dance and her entire performance and look is anemic.

  22. VilleRose says:

    As soon as I saw the title of the song a few weeks ago, I knew without a doubt this song would be a response to all the criticism she got over the past year with her messy personal life. And I knew she wouldn’t be remorseful, she wouldn’t apologize and would double down. The title is defiant and like a “so what?” (not a reference to Pink’s song, just the expression on its own before people get confused) and full of attitude and I was like oh boy, this will be fun when it comes out. And she didn’t prove me wrong. The song itself isn’t that great and really does remind me of Madonna. I was wondering if the wax/stone figure of Ariana at the beginning of the video was a reference to the Weeping Angel from Doctor Who but it’s probably not.

  23. Beech says:

    First off, the husband had something to do with the affair. Second, I hope the estranged wife made a bit of bank speaking to the Fail, and I assume AG pays for her side piece’s lodging? Reminds me of the anecdote from the beautiful movie actress Carole Lombard, as she watched a male side piece walking a tiny poodle and said to him “Working hard?”

    • J says:

      Very true. But he isn’t writing self justifying inhumane songs devoid of empathy rationalizing and celebrating his hurtful and destructive actions. That is why we are focusing on her right now.

  24. Bumblebee says:

    If she doesn’t want people focusing on her personal life, then why are her lyrics all personal? How about, a confident song about what a great singer she is, all the awards she’s won, concert seats she’s filled, albums she’s sold. And all the haters can takes seats because she’s out here succeeding. Change the conversation. And stop talking about personal sh*t.
    (She should apologize, she should stop messing with married men, but we know she won’t do that)

  25. SamuelWhiskers says:

    “‘The song clearly does not address any one specific instance.”

    That’s a really unfortunate choice of words considering the song is explicitly about her riding men’s Ds.

    I don’t think “this could be about any married man whose D Ari is riding!!” is quite the rebuttal you think it is. How many married men is she riding?

  26. Lady Digby says:

    Take what you want, says God, and pay for it. She will end up paying long after she has hopped off the ride!

  27. Notjust says:

    “Yes, and” makes me think of the “Et alors” from a former French president when he was asked about his cheating on his long-time partner by a journalist.

  28. crazyoldlady says:

    She is talented, can sing – has some good songs. But is a trash person — the narcissism is definitely on display right now. Her actions and situation are so shameful. If I was Lily I would publicly drag her day and night.

    • sevenblue says:

      I am sure that NDA will be part of the divorce and Lily would be advised not to speak publicly by her lawyer so that it won’t be used against her in custody agreement. There is so much power imbalance when you go against an international pop star. Her fans are already blaming Lily for the bad press Ariana got, saying that Lily was separated from her husband and there was no cheating. Imagine that your husband goes to work in another country while you are still healing from birth and taking care of a newborn, then his affair partner is lying to the press through anonymous sources that you were separated. I would go mad with rage probably.

      • Nic919 says:

        Ariana wouldn’t be a party to the divorce so Lily can say what she wants. Any support arrangements favour her at this point anyway since he’s the one who abandoned them. And alimony is based on income. She doesn’t need to stay quiet for the feelings of the current girlfriend, pop star or not.

      • sevenblue says:

        @Nic919, Ethan and Ariana moved in together. Lily can’t just say anything she wants about her to-be ex-husband’s new girlfriend publicly, since at some point, Lily would have to share custody with them as a couple if it didn’t happen already. Any expensive lawyer would use her public statements against her in further custody hearings. Also, I would be surprised if Ethan wouldn’t make her sign an NDA, forbidding her not to talk about him or his new girlfriend. That isn’t related to alimony or child support. Lily would be financially compensated if she signs an NDA. I know Ariana’s ex husband signed one.

      • Nic919 says:

        I can’t wait for lily’s lawyer to tell the family court judge that SpongeBob wants her to restrict her right to speak because he’s fucking a famous pop star. That’s not going to play out well when he’s the one who broke up the marriage.

        As long as Lily doesn’t tell lies, she can say what she wants about her husband.

  29. Nic919 says:

    You can’t plead “she did not wreck the home it was SpongeBob who did it, sisterhood 4eva” when you write a song about the whole situation. She’s profiting on another woman’s pain for her callous actions.

    So yes she can sure as hell be blamed for something.

  30. Anonymous says:

    @Barnabus 😂🤣😅

  31. Beech says:

    The thing is, HIM?! There are craggy face men, Humphrey Bogart, Daniel Craig, Jean Paul Belmondo, sexy.
    But Howdy Doody?! Or her brother, gag!

  32. Steph says:

    Lacking remorse, lacking empathy, lacking eyebrows…

  33. Elo says:

    It’s just so boring. The song, the video, the ugly dude whose d*** she is riding. I seriously have no clue how this woman is famous.

  34. Elsa says:

    I cannot stand her. I won’t listen to the song. There is lots of great music out there created by decent people. No need to waste a second on her bs.

  35. J.ferber says:

    Robert Phillips, you are dead wrong about Bette Davis, the greatest actress America has ever produced. And she was BRILLIANT in Baby Jane! Please don’t sully her name with a ridiculous comparison to this pop singer. Apples and oranges.

  36. The Old Chick says:

    No one will read this 12 hours later but we talk about powerful men abusing their power when manipulating women into affairs. Why don’t we talk about powerful women in the same way? The married man is 100% responsible for not cheating, but a powerful woman, which she is no doubt, is a strong lure, especially to someone like sponge Bob. I normally just blame the man for being an asshole, but in this instance she gets equal blame. She is very powerful and rich. Then writes a no shame song about it? She’s a piece of narc work.

  37. Thelma says:

    Don’t know her music. My daughter literally just played 3 AG songs she was sure I would know, but no…I only know her from Saturday Night Live, where she did a good imitation of several singers and the gossip columns. My only take on this is that I’m pretty sure it’s not going to end well for her. Her track record on relationships seems poor and she seems pretty immature.

  38. Lisa R says:

    I have a bad feeling Kris Kardashian is behind this. Kris clearly arranged for Ariana to date Pete Davidson for the shock effect. Kris then arranged for Pete to date Kris’s daughter. Kris was in Ariana’s video. The is no lower limit to the depths Kris will sink for publicity.

  39. Justjj says:

    She’s trash. Poor Lily and her little baby. She will be picking up the pieces for herself and her kiddo for years, long after Ariana has written her bitchy songs and moved on from Ethan. The baby will one day be an adult who wonders what happened. On a side note, the blonde is so ugly on her. She looks so cheap.

  40. Ameerah M says:

    Ariana is the Miranda Lambert of pop music.

  41. Emily says:

    The song is catchy but I’m trying to boycott it. I can understand the lyrics hitting back on her plastic surgery and her weight (even though I think there’s some valuable commentary when she is a role model telling young girls that being this thin is the healthiest she’s ever been). But I absolutely cannot get behind the “so what I had an affair with a married man” lyrics. People also forget Ariana was married too. Dalton is just quieter than Lilly.

  42. Monc says:

    Someone went out on a limb to state that what she does = “create art…”