Whoopi Goldberg has been married and divorced three times. So when she says she’s not meant to be married, I believe her. She’s done thorough research! Not to mention she’s a grown ass woman who knows herself. But a woman preferring to be unattached is still unsettling to some people. (“What do you meeeeaaaaan you don’t want to be married?!”) While appearing on Chris Wallace’s show last week, Chris asked Whoopi to elaborate on her relationship views, and her answer was refreshingly honest: she’s not invested in a partner’s feelings and she doesn’t want to share. It’s as simple as that! Look, I’m not advocating for everyone to be self-centered, but there is value in being clear-eyed about yourself and acting accordingly. Whoopi also touched on the family relationships she is invested in, as well as her hilarious term for hookups:
Whoopi Goldberg believes she isn’t meant to be married, and she has a good idea why.
On Friday’s episode of “Who’s Talking to Chris Wallace?” the thrice-divorced actor and comedian elaborated on some of her previous remarks about being ill-suited to married life.
“Why are you not meant for marriage?” host Chris Wallace asked. “You don’t want to share?”
“No, I don’t,” Goldberg said. “I don’t care how you feel. I mean, it’s terrible. You know, when you’re married to somebody, you have to be invested in how they’re feeling.”
“Absolutely,” Wallace agreed, to which Goldberg responded with a laugh, “I am not.”
The “Sister Act” star clarified that she does care deeply about the feelings of some people — just not a potential spouse.
“I’m invested in my kid, I’m invested in her kids, I’m invested in my son-in-law, I’m invested in my friends, but I am not invested in a relationship that would require as much as having a child requires,” she said. “And I know that that’s not for me.”
When it comes to affairs of the heart, Goldberg said she’s not averse to “hit-and-runs.”
In March, the 68-year-old revealed to her co-hosts on “The View” that her most recent relationship was with a man 40 years her senior.
As Wallace noted, Goldberg has spoken multiple times in the past about the realization that she and marriage are not a match. In 2016, she famously told The New York Times Magazine, “I don’t want somebody in my house.”
“I am not invested in a relationship that would require as much as having a child requires.” Freudian slip or pointed commentary from Miss Whoopi there, likening a husband to a child? Whichever it is, I’m fascinated! When I was a kid I commented to my mother that she tended to mother my father, her husband. And she didn’t disagree! In that moment I thought, “I do not want to do that for another adult.” So I’ve pretty much taken Whoopi’s approach, except even before the practical experience of marriage and divorce. Yes, I’m fully aware that my own insecurities play into this decision. But relationships have always been on the backburner. Figuring myself out, and the work I want to do, are more important to me. At least for right now. I’m open to my feelings changing and evolving as my life unfolds. Just as Whoopi has come to her decision based on having lived her life. And if you want to hear more about Whoopi describing her ingenious hit-and-run ethos, please enjoy this tweet.
Between Law saying he never felt drawn to dating/romantic partnership and Whoopi’s disinterest in marriage/long term partnership…
I enjoy the truthful reminders that there are people who can, and do, practice doing without them. pic.twitter.com/thMjklKA1b
— her name is cyn 🔅 (@cynfinite) May 11, 2024
Where did Whoopie find a man who is 108 years old?
Speaking as a single and a recovering people pleaser – I won’t say that I’m not invested in others’ feelings, more that I’m no longer invested in their problems and their feelings about their problems.
I couldn’t have articulated this any better. I just don’t have the energy to take on the mental load of a relationship with a man. And I know some good men who are generally good partners and husbands but jaysus, when their man child side shows, it really shows.
I assume that it was a while ago. Just because it was her “most recent” doesn’t mean it was recent. She could have been in her 40’s and him in his 80s. Still bananas (I’m in my 40s and can’t imagine), but more realistic.
I remember when Frank Langella dated Barbara Walters (or at least squired her to events), things got a little passive aggressive on The View between Barbara and Whoopi.
When he released his memoir dishing on his (dead) friends and acquaintances, Barbara was all “why aren’t IIIII in it?” and Whoopi chuckled that she wondered why she wasn’t in it either.
I think it’s very wise of her to steer clear of relationships if she’s had 3 marriages that have all ended in divorce. She’s been there, done that, and got the Tshirt. People who are on their 5th/6th marriage to me are just hurting themselves and other people. It’s okay to be single and if more people knew that they would be much happier.
I’m going through perimenopause I do not have the estrogen to be a people pleaser anymore. I was married for 20 years and the mental load on me was so disproportionate. Women have 80% of autoimmune diseases. We do too much for everyone. I’m with Whoopi, we need to be a little selfish and focus on our wants, our needs, our self care, our goals. I’ll never get married again. Divorce has been exhilarating, 10 out of 10.
She needs a standing ovation and not be questioned for her honesty. So many married people like her making their other spouse life a living hell while gaslighting, neglecting them and demolishing their self-esteem.
Well written, well said! Thank you!
I want that patchwork jacket.
And go, Whoopi, for articulating something that a lot of women know to be true.
I feel like every woman who’s had a long term relationship with a man can understand to some degree. I love my partner but it never would have worked if either of us wanted children. He absolutely employs weaponized helplessness when he’s just not in the mood for chores (is anyone ever?) and it’s tiresome. I truly cannot fathom how difficult life was in the days when women lost their legal autonomy through marriage.
Wow! Whoopie’s comments totally resonate with me. I was just thinking today how little cooperation and compromise at age 57 that I have left in my soul for a man. I have everything to give to my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, friends, and their kids, but I do not have it in me to give anything to a romantic relationship. I cannot think of anything worse than having somebody waiting for me at home, besides my dogs. I was married once, a very long time ago and only for a year. I’ve dated off and on. There are so few men I’m even interested in having a conversation with, let alone a long-term relationship. I know I get questioned a lot as to why I’m single, and I’m mainly asked that question by the husbands of friends. I want to respond, ask your wife, she’s saddled with you, but I just smile and wander off. There is no value a man can bring to my life at this point and my self worth has never been determined by having a man in my life.