Lindsay Lohan was too dumb, cracked-out to make it to her escort gig


I saw earlier this morning that Lindsay Lohan was no longer going to be a paid escort, and my first thought was honestly “Huh… did she quit because she thought being a glorified hooker would ruin her reputation?” I didn’t write about it because, really, who cares? It was interesting when she was actually going to get paid $150,000 to show up on the arm of some old dude at the Vienna Opera and sign some autographs at a mall, but when the news of Lindsay’s cancellation first came out, there didn’t seem to by much of a story.

Unfortunately, there was a story there, and Richard Lugner (the old guy paying) is now telling all. The basic story is that Lindsay was too dumb and cracked-out to make her flight on time. She was “shopping”. Jesus, Lindsay. One paying gig a year and you can’t even manage to keep the cracked-out shenanigans at bay for a 24-hour period? Ridiculous:

Quick, somebody check the temperature down by the Styx: Lindsay Lohan has turned down an invitation to party!

LiLo was originally set to serve as this year’s celeb rent-a-date (going rate: $150,000) for horny old Austrian billionaire Richard Lugner, who chooses a different A-list lovely each year for the annual Vienna Opera Ball.

And while this year’s bash takes place tonight, just hours ago the 77-year-old broke the news that Lohan won’t be accompanying him after all—and the world’s press has Lindsay’s shopping habit to thank.

According to the possibly truth-stretching—but then again, possibly not—Lugner, Lohan missed her plane from Los Angeles to London after a shopping spree ran overtime.

Apparently, what the starlet lacked in funds to hold the flight, the billionaire lacked in inclination, resulting in her no-show.

“She wanted to pay it, but her card’s credit limit was not high enough,” Lugner said of the would-be $22,000 fee.

Incidentally, it’s not the first batch of backhanded comments he’s dished out about Lohan. Earlier this month, he ran down her list of demands for the event, including keeping all alcohol out of her sightline and requesting to move the date of the ball (an impossibility given that it has taken place on the Thursday before Ash Wednesday every year since 1936).

But all is not lost. While British tabloids report that Lugner, who has previously enlisted the arm candy services of Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Dita Von Teese, Geri Halliwell and Nicollette Sheridan for the event, will instead be accompanied to tonight’s festivities by U.K. tabloid trainwreck Katie “Jordan” Price, who arrived in town this morning, the billionaire is apparently going a different way this year and says he will instead be bringing male German entertainer Dieter Bohlen.

So he’s having a ball in more ways than one.

[From E! News]

Previously, Lugner had let it be known that Lindsay was his second choice, after Lady Gaga. I so, so wish Gaga had been available. But it looks like Lugner will have some fun with a dude date, so maybe it won’t be so bad. Still, Lindsay comes out of this debacle looking even worse than if she had shown up to the Vienna Opera and acted like a total a–hole. Now she just looks like she couldn’t even be bothered to show up on time on the rare occasion she got someone to pay her for something.


Lindsay Lohan in LA on January 13, 2010. Credit: Pacific Coast News. Lindsay in St. Barth, fake-crying on January 4, 2010. Credit: Spread Pictures/Fame Pictures.

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55 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan was too dumb, cracked-out to make it to her escort gig”

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  1. Super Mustache says:

    Oh Lohan, never change. I’m seriously gonna have to put her in my dead pool, this is one crackhead loser who isn’t long for this world!

  2. bella says:

    Amazing that her credit limit wasn’t enough to pay for the shopping trip (and airfare) that caused her to miss her flight to an actual paying gig. Words fail me.

  3. hatsumomo says:

    Ha -ha! What a dumbass! But in all seriousness(could there be any?) I would have loved to see Lady Gaga instead! Or even Katie Price, she may be trashy, but she knows a show stealing ensemble when she wears one. It would have been good enough for the pics.

  4. cult of skaro 23 says:

    good god, she looks terrible.

    150,000 for one date and she blew it. how do you even….

    I really do just feel sorry for girls like this. Lohan, Megan Fox, Tila Tequila. They managed to catch lightning in a bottle once with great and/or commercialysuccessful films; (Mean girls, Transformers 1 and 2,the….”I now pronounce you chuck and larry” maybe?) respectively, and they to a one, are pissing it all away, likely without saving a single damn penny.

  5. Victoria says:

    Im surprised Lindsey has lived as long as she has.

  6. Super Mustache says:

    How long do y’all think it’ll take for Captain Defend-A-Ho (aka kermit) to come in here? I am eagerly awaiting his spin on this!

  7. Bodhi says:

    I figured she’d find a way to screw up this, her 1 & only “job”

  8. LindyLou says:

    @supermoustache – a dead pool? Can I get in on that? LOL

  9. mamalama says:

    I saw a TV ad for The Parent Trap recently, and found myself thinking “what a shameful waste of talent and potential” she has turned out to be. Of course, the train wrecks that are her parents certianly didn’t help, but at some point you have to take responsibility for your own life. Really sad.

  10. Erin says:

    She needs to quit taking Adderall, for real. When you abuse it, it makes you late for everything because it’s impossible to focus enough to move on to the next step in your day.

  11. JulieNewmar says:

    It’s hard to not laugh. * slaps self across face *

  12. Kaiser says:

    FYI: I banned “Kermit” because he/she was such a pain in the ass.

  13. gobo says:

    @cult of skaro 23; I don’t think it’s fair to lump Megan Fox in a category with Lohan and Tila Tequila. She may speak without thinking too far ahead at times but Lohan and Tequila are total nut jobs with traits of pretty hard drug habits.

  14. JulieNewmar says:

    * high fives Kaiser *

  15. stinabelle says:

    These pictures are hilarious.

  16. TaylorB says:

    If someone offered me $150,000 and a free first class ticket to a ball in Austria I would have been waiting at the gate hours before the plane even arrived.

    That being said, something about this story seems odd; I find it hard to believe that a commercial airline would hold a plane for hours for one passenger no matter how famous.

  17. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Thank you Kaiser! He/She seemed a little over obsessed with la Lohan

    This just says it all really, Lindsay has no clue anymore…I agree it is a complete waste of talent, but until she faces up to her true addictions and wants help, what is going to change?

    I agree her parents are partly to blame, but she is a grown woman and is responsible for her own life as she has been for many years.

    Such a drug addled mess who I agree will not be here for much longer if she doesn’t clean up her act

  18. Kaiser says:

    Julie & Ruby – He/she was definitely creepy, I thought. What’s worse, in my opinion, is that if something I or CB writes is so terrible (which “Kermit” would endlessly fuss over), why are you coming back to the site day after day? The whole thing smacked of paid PR or mental illness, IMO.

  19. Dexter says:

    I’m sure Mr. Lugner’s dude date with Dieter Bohlen will be much more fun than this crackhead Lohan. :)

  20. Essie says:

    I agree gobo, it’s a bit too early to lump Megan Fox in with this group. I think Megan’s major fault is trying too hard to be hip and her mouth tends to run ahead of her brain. I think, basically, she’s just a silly girl with very little talent who will just fade away. She doesn’t seem to me to have a problem with drugs.

    On the other hand, Ms. Lindsay is just getting worse and worse. Why she still gets press coverage is beyond me. And not being able to even show up for a $150,000 gig is just dumb!! I hope this Lugner guy didn’t pay her in advance.

  21. Ria says:

    @TaylorB – when we went to Ireland, we boarded at least two hours before take off. I’m thinking she missed the cut off to board (on your tickets, your are told the flight and boarding times). So, since she hadn’t boarded, they wouldn’t let her on wo paying a fee. I’m not sure WHY it’s so early – maybe security or something. Someone who travels more may know why and if they would have had to sit longer if she boarded late.

  22. heb says:


  23. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Kaiser – I’d def bet on the mental illness option!

  24. dee says:

    man, who is snapping these horrendous pics of her? They could be made into posters for the ‘this is your face on drugs’ campaign. I cant believe how awful she looks in every pic Ive seen f her lately. what a mess.

  25. Maritza says:

    This girl is seriously headed for trouble, I guess she’ll have to reach bottom before she recognizes that she needs help.

  26. Lizzard says:

    um so she was supposed to sign autographs in a mall in Austria as well as escort the old dude to the ball. yet she can’t make her flight because she’s shopping.

    Don’t you think she could have gone shopping in this mall before and after she signs autographs? instead she is now 150K poorer since I’m sure she already spent that money on whatever habit it is she’s clearly on.

  27. lucy2 says:

    Isn’t this the same girl who just exposed her supposed “hoarding” by showing of all the hundreds of shoes and pieces of clothing filling up her house? WHY was she out shopping? Or is “shopping” code for at her dealer’s house?

  28. Snarf says:

    What a dumb-ass.

  29. Super Mustache says:


    Oh snap! LOL, great job, but I’ll miss the mental gymnastics and weird-assed justifications :(


    Yes! All of us should play! I’ll guess that she’ll be dead by August 21st, what do you think?

  30. Sigh. says:


    She was a no-show for a MALL APPEARANCE because she was somewhere else SHOPPING?!?!?


    Where in-the-hell was her “momager” to ensure she gets there? She must be done with the whole acting thing, cos if she can’t be on time for ONE high-paying gig that would have been a few hours of her doing next to nothing, then who is going to back/insure a movie with her as a lead (I know, there’s always someone out there)?

    She learned NOTHING when that producer gave her a public dress-down about her (lack of) work ethics a few years back…

    Cracked-up denial/please donate by buying my stuff tweet in 3…2…

  31. CeeCee12 says:

    She is a human Public Service Announcement.

  32. snapdragon says:

    that photo of her crying makes me laugh like there’s no tomorrow.

    …yeah, i’m a bad person.

  33. e-non says:

    as much as i don’t doubt the possibility this is true; what’s hinky is that there’s more than one flight per day to london out of los angeles.

  34. ccoop says:

    ““She wanted to pay it…”

    Oh sure.

  35. TG says:

    I have only been overseas twice so I don’t know but if you miss the cutoff do they really let you on if you pay a fee? Because that has happened to some people I know and they didn’t get to pay a fee.

    La Lohan reminds me of Britney Spears no one has ever told them “no” in their life so they just can’t function and they don’t live in reality. And how old is Lindsay? She looks to be in her 40′s.

  36. Emily says:

    God, every story I read about her makes me sad. If she had any real friends, they would’ve made her get clean by now. There’s no way you could see someone you love act like this and do nothing.

  37. GatsbyGal says:

    And she was going on a shopping spree with WHAT money, exactly?

    I can’t believe she gave up the chance to earn 150k. C’mon, Blowhan, just think of all the coke and pills you could’ve bought!

  38. Rianna says:

    I would have been pissed off royally if they held a plane up for ONE PERSON. I have never heard of an airline doing that ever. In my experience they just put you on a later flight and charge you 500 dollars.
    It just shows what a selfish bitch she is that she cannot give a thought to anyone but herself. Not to mention all those people that had tight connecting flights or children.
    I just wish that someone would send her away to live in North Dakota for a couple of months working min wage in a bar doing things that ordinary people do. Then I would love to see her run late to a flight again or to a job where she is being paid 150 g just to turn up.
    If I was getting paid that much for one night I would have been there 3 days before just to make sure I was there on time lol! That is 4 times my salary at least!

  39. lucy2 says:

    I dont’ know what that plane fee stuff is he’s talking about. Either it’s a bad recount of what he said, or he’s as wacko as she is. The only time I’ve heard of a plane being held is for people who are in the airport and checked in and just have to get to the gate, and even then it’s just a few minutes. The only explanation would be that it was a private plane, or he was talking about her having to buy her own last minute ticket on another flight.

  40. Eileen Yover says:

    Good GOD that face! -she is in the fastlane speeding towards Donatellaville. Yikes!

  41. TaylorB says:

    to comment #21 (sorry, my puter is acting up and I can’t read your name)

    I may have misunderstood, I thought that they ‘held the take off’ for 2 hours and the $22,000 was a fee for waiting. That is why it seemed odd to me, I guess I read it wrong. Granted, if she just waited to board at the last second I can’t imagine them charging her $22,000, I do however suspect if they had done all of their pre-flight inspections, passenger counts, etc. and she thought she could just waltz in at the last second they would certainly deny her boarding they had probably even removed her bags for safety reasons at that point. Either way, in this day and age, best not to mess with the TSA or the airlines and just show up on time for boarding (unless another flight has delayed you and it is cleared with the airlines) and behave yourself, but somehow being on time and behaving like an adult seems to be beyond this girl ;-)

  42. Abbey Priewe says:

    Lindsay is awesome! She is accomplished and everyone who do not think so is just jealous. . But I am kinda depressed that she is a drug addict. Someone ought to give her several love so she will get her life under control!

  43. lin234 says:

    Umm Abbey Priewe… are you joking or are you kermit in disguise?

    Go Kaiser!

    Rianna makes a good point.
    This kind of blows your mind if you relate earning 150,000 grand and a free trip to Europe to normal people having to get their masters, phd, JD, MD, etc…, work for years after jumping through all the educational hoops (not to mention having to deal with the bureaucracy in a work environment)in hopes of earning 6 figures a year whereas she couldn’t even bother to get to her first class flight on time to make 150k for just showing up.

    I hope they didn’t hold up the plane for her. There are people who plan their trips for months and even delaying their trip for 2 hours means that they have less time to enjoy their destination.

    I’ve been to Austria once and it was such a beautiful place. I got to take in a show at a concert hall where Mozart once played and it was such a lovely treat to hear the music and watch these graceful ballerinas dance in a small oval-shaped marble room filled with chandeliers. I can’t even imagine missing the Vienna Opera for shopping. Lugner got what he wanted which was publicity and it’s kind of awesome he said no to Lindsey.

  44. Sumodo1 says:

    Abbey Priewe, on this site, we tend to think of Lindsay Lohan as a blemish on the behind of humanity.

  45. CB Rawks says:

    Not everyone gets to go to the Vienna Opera Ball. It’s a huge honour Lindsay, you stupid skank.
    Well, she would have made it all trashy and sticky like a truckstop bathroom, so I’m glad she screwed up and won’t be there.

  46. cara says:

    she looks like madonnas twin,just as ugly

  47. Emily says:

    @sumodo1, that’s just because no one gives her “several love” anymore. Don’t be so jealous of her, geez!

  48. crash2GO2 says:

    Oh yes, I am a fan myself of several love.

  49. kellogg says:

    @lucy2 (#27, not#39) thought same thing. although have not seen the thrilling conclusion to the Insider vid am sure the last thing she needs to do is “shop.”

  50. NicoleAM says:

    Whether or not that was the real reason she didn’t attend, I’m sure it was her fault anyway. How you manage to blow a chance to walk away with 150,000 is beyond me. Seriously, where is she getting her money? Nobody should offer her any work whatsoever until she gets her sh*t together. Doing so just further funds her current lifestyle.

  51. NicoleAM says:

    And yes, I agree that “kermit” was creepy. He/she appeared to have read every article/interview on LL ever published. Either a member of her PR team, or a deranged super fan.

  52. Lady D says:

    Hey Rianna, if you call holding up a plane for two hours selfish, what do you call someone who has the un-mitigated gall to expect a 74+ yr old institution to change its date for her? Her? A pres, a pope, a queen, maybe. Arrogance that just staggers the imagination.

  53. Yeah, I guess the only thing worse than Lindsay bailing on her escort gig, would be Lindsay actually attending her escort gig. I have to admit – I was hoping for some dirt.

    Kaiser – Yea for the ban! Maybe Kermit suffered from BPD. *eyeroll*

  54. Lway says:

    Lilo is DISGUSTING. Christ, I can feel my lunch coming back up. WTF is up with her lips eeeeeeewwwwww!!!

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