Don’t everyone shout “Kill it with fire!” at once. This is the delicate flower known as Courtney Love last night in London. Yeah… she’s definitely not on drugs, right?
So, anyway, who is crazier, Courtney Love or John Mayer? For my money, it’s definitely Courtney. I don’t consider Mayer crazy, I just think he’s a racist, entitled, smug douche. As it turns out, even batsh-t insane people like Courtney recognize those qualities in Mayer. She just around to reading Mayer’s Playboy interview – because Courntey is so timely, right? Next, she’ll weigh in about this whole Britney Spears shaving her head stuff. Anyway, instead of shunning him and dismissing Mayer, Courtney’s reaction was to tweet about how she wants to “hatef-ck” Mayer. Ugh. The imagery, I can’t get it out of my head. Oh, but that’s not it! Courtney also tweeted about her how her vadge is so strong (dry heave) that she could “snatch the cig off the table thai sex worker”. Jesus, Courtney. Now you’re making me feel for Mayer!
Courtney Love has finally read John Mayer’s Playboy interview in which he discusses sexual napalm Jessica Simpson and his white supremacist dick, and her reaction can be found on Twitter.
“do you ever feel like spite hate f-cking @johncmayer just to put hi in his place, hes a better guitarist than me but not better in bed !” Love tweeted. “but like say your f-cking @johncmayer totally throwing him around the room in bits and then you just BAM punch him in the face? good times”
Love took special issue with Mayer’s comments on his sex life with his famous girlfriends.
“ive said far stupider sh-t than @johncmayer about my alist bfs tho ive been discreet. but about rockers i spill the beans,” she continued.
Even though she feels Mayer deserves a good hate f-ck, Love says he’s not really her type.
“oh dudes Mayers a little bland for me and youngish ill do young, but hes neither Yale Harvard Oxford and hes not really rock, so not for me,” she wrote. And to a fan who asked her to clarify hate f-cking, she wrote, “hate f-cking is an art like ‘the pit’ meaning you rape each other and then beat the sh-t our of each other so u can feel sh-t.”
Although Mayer has resurfaced on Twitter after swearing to “quit the media game” two weeks ago, he has not addressed Love’s comments. If he ever takes Love up on her offer, he might experience another powerful vagina.
“my genealogist and my gynocplogist know i do my Kegals like a snatch the cig off the table thai sex worker,” Love tweeted later.
[From Huffington Post]
This is one of those days when I wonder why I even got up in the morning. Seriously, Courtney? You’re comparing your vadge to a Thai sex worker‘s? At least, that’s what I think she was doing. You never know with Courtney. Maybe she meant “bleragwytery vadge jufboliration John Mayer”. It probably made sense at the time.
I would pay to see Courtney punch Mayer in the face, though. That would be funny.
Courtney at the NME Awards in London on February 24, 2010. Credit: WENN.
I need to go and scrub down the part of my brain that controls imagery.
I want this to happen, Tarantino-style. I want to see the fountain of blood erupt from John Mayer as Courtney Love’s monster vagina descends triumphantly and rips off his insignificant little bleating wiener, like the Alien picking off Harry Dean Stanton, without even trying.
And then Courtney’s Godzillavadge goes rampaging over Tokyo, still hungry, knocking down buildings, finally alighting at the end of a bullet-train tunnel to the horror of the countless Japanese commuters trapped therein, helpless as their carriage hurtles onward to doom…
Lenore – yes, Tarantino style, and make it a Pay-Per-View event! Donate the proceeds to the unemployed or uninsured (medical) here in America or the earthquake survivors in Haiti.
Bellaluna – I don’t know, I can imagine the Haitian survivors receiving wads of bloody cash from Courtney, smoking a six-foot post-coital cigarette, and saying, “Ummm, actually we’ll pass, thanks for the thought though”.
Ew. Every time I see a picture of John Mayer, my private parts do an involuntary shudder…and not in a good way.
Alright Lenore, now I have that song that plays during the Japanese restaurant massacre in Kill Bill when Bride’s looking for O-Ren Ishii playing in my head.
I see Courtney stalking John with a spiked bowling ball on a chain and once she has him, she strips him down and slices off his penis with her sword-wielding vag.
LOOOL @ Joseph and Lenore.
Oh God, yes! This will be a good first punishment for him!
Next maybe she can threaten Tiger?
Snowball, Kill Bill is one of my all time favorites. That makes me think of a Courtney Love – John Mayer smackdown with Lucy Liu’s Black Mamba officiating. Add all the fake Tarantino-style bleeding and appendages torn off and that PPV would fund universal healthcare for a year.
Uh, she’s got a personal geneologist? What, she needs proof she’s human?
Vagzilla. My new name for her.
Did she say “A -List boyfriends” plural? She wishes.
Like anyone wants to have sex with this walking train wreck?
@Lenore. Thanks for the laugh. Do what you have to to make this happen. I’d definitely pay money to see this.
The second paragraph is a hoot. Good Times. I’m back to loving her again.
I wonder if anyone who has slept with Courtney has ever been dated by women thereafter.
It’s a good idea; who’d sleep with John Mayer after Courtney Love?
1; the guy has tourettes, so cut him some slack.
2; this drugged up loser has a choice in her behaviour, so just shut up alreadycourtney. you are nobody’s role model, nor anyone of any signifigance!
concentrate on getting your shit together and for once being the mother you never have been!
Lenore – most outstanding post I’ve read in a while.
If this little vignette were produced, would go seriously viral on YouTube.