Allison Williams and American Horror Story: Coven actor Alexander Dreymon have been together since late 2019. They started dating around six months after Allison’s split from her first husband, Ricky Van Veen. In past interviews, they’ve said that they were a new couple during the pandemic. In 2021, they welcomed their first son, Arlo. Allison just appeared on the “Not Skinny But Not Fat” podcast, where she talked about her experience giving birth to Arlo. Like so many women, Allison had a birth plan that didn’t go quite as expected. For so long, she had planned on having a natural birth. However, after spending more than a day in labor, in which Arlo’s heart rate kept dropping, Allison ended up needing a C-section. On the pod, she talked about how traumatizing the entire experience was.
Allison Williams is candidly opening up about her birthing experience.
The M3GAN actress, 37, opened up about her “very stressful” labor and delivery experience during the latest episode of the Not Skinny But Not Fat podcast. Williams, who welcomed her son Arlo, 3, with actor Alexander Dreymon, told host Amanda Hirsch that she had to have an emergency C-section after being in labor for 36 hours, adding that it was a “very stressful thing.”
“From the moment I arrived, pre-epidural, every time I had a contraction… his heart rate would go down,” she recalled. When asked about how she felt in that moment, the proud mom said, “Huge trauma. Deeply stressful. I realized in that moment that I hadn’t thought about the possibility of having a C-section.”
“I hadn’t pictured it, wondered what it was like. I kind of was like, blah blah blah blah blah. I’ve never had surgery. I don’t wanna think about this. And so I didn’t,” she continued. “And then there I was being told that this had to happen. And that was just like a profoundly scary moment where I realized like, ‘Oh my god. I’m about to have surgery for the first time. And this all just feels extremely scary and not what I was picturing.’ ”
The Fellow Travelers actress admitted that she would have liked to know more before entering her C-section, saying that in the moment, there was a lot to process.
“In the moment where she told me it was happening, I was processing a lot of things at the same time,” she told Hirsch. “One of those things would have been off the table, which was like, ‘What’s about to happen to me? What’s this gonna be like? What does this mean, etcetera?’ And if I knew the answers to some of those things, I would just be processing like, ‘This isn’t going the way I pictured it,’ or ‘I’m scared’ or ‘This is vulnerable.’ ”
“All of those other things, which is still a lot to deal with, just would have been nice to have, like, some of those things off,” she added.
I’m so sorry for what Allison went through. That sounds so scary! I can completely understand how traumatic that was. I’m glad that her doctor was able to intervene and safely deliver Arlo. You can be as prepared as possible, with a birth plan and contingency plans, but nothing ever really prepares you for how it feels if something doesn’t go according to any of those plans. My bestie went through something similar, only with twins. One was “easily” delivered vaginally, but the other one ended up needing an emergency c-section. She was, and still is, very candid about just how traumatic the experience was and how extreme her emotions were during and in the *years* afterward. (They are nine now.) While on the subject, I also see so many moms on forums and Facebook groups that carry so much guilt if their birth plans don’t go as planned because society and social media makes them feel like there is something wrong with them. There is not! I really wish that there were better mental health services available for mothers and that there wasn’t a stigma around them needing them.
Photos credit: Jennifer Graylock-Graylock.com/Avalon, Jennifer Graylock/INSTARimages, Jeffrey Mayer/Avalon
I had something similar happen, except that my specialist was on call the next morning and advised me to have a c-section after 16 hours of unmedicated labour. My daughter’s heart rate would drop during contractions and whenever I moved. Turns out her umbilical was looped around her ear and over her shoulder, so the c-section was inevitable. I’m so grateful for my doctor for encouraging me to go in sooner before it became an emergency. I also hadn’t even read about it because I’d never choose to have a c-section. Glad I didn’t, as I also didn’t know any of the risks associated with it. Was less stressed as a result…but yeah, it took me months to not cry whenever I recounted the story of her heart rate dropping.
Um, correction. She landed Utred, son of Utred — not some dude from AHS. 😉
Also — possibly unpopular opinion here — but I am firmly convinced the whole natural birth movement is driven by men who dismiss and or fetishize women’s pain, and have convinced them that that pain is a miracle. There’s a reason the maternal mortality rate is so high in the US, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence we prioritize nonmedicated, natural birth the way we do. C-Sections should not be a trauma — they are so normalized in other countries with better treatment of pregnant/delivering women.
bwhahahha you beat me to it @ClammanderJen…. Destiny is all!
Oh my gosh. He is such a handsome man. My hopeful destiny is to simply meet him.
I agree, I also think the natural birth movement is tied in with the bridezilla thing. Some women don’t have as much control in the rest of their life…in regards to career and the rest of what should make up their identity. So they spend way too much time focusing on/fetishizing what should be their “day” or their “birth plan.”
That kind of pressure also comes from other women, but they are also the product of patriarchal society. So, yeah it all comes down to men wanting to control women’s bodies. Even pain management for women is medieval compared to men.
We HAVE to stop referring to vaginal, unmedicated birth as a “natural” birth. If a baby is being born, it is a natural and wonderful thing regardless of the delivery option that was right for baby and mom.
I am all for women advocating for the option that they want and exploring midwives, doulas, birth plans, etc. But in the end, if your baby is at risk of death, you also want to make sure that you have a physician that you trust. I’m exhausted by the industry that demonizes obstetricians. I had an unmedicated, vaginal birth that was straight-forward and easy with baby #2 and an emergency c-section with #3. In the hands of my trusted doctor, it was a lot less terrifying than it could have been. It stinks that so many women don’t have many options when it comes to their doctors, and that is only going to get worse under the facist regime.
I would venture to say that a decent portion of the people who say “natural” instead of “vaginal” are just too repressed to say the word “vaginal” out loud. As terrible and ridiculous as that is.
I don’t talk too much about my birth experience because it was relatively easy and there’s no way to reliably replicate it, it’s just luck. But the first thing we should be trying to dismantle is the idea that labor should be done lying down on your back. I’m stubborn (and mean when I’m in pain) so I walked up until pushing with both of mine while alarmed nurses tried to get me back in bed. Meghan dancing during labor wasn’t just silly fun, it was helping. Epidurals take away gravity and some of the natural processes in place to help move the baby along. Combine that with the whole inaccurate “you are too far along for pain killers” trope media has taught us and you get so many women who think they need to have an epidural immediately and it slows the labor, and the baby gets distressed, and now you need a c section. And a big contributor to this is the finite supply of anesthesiologists in a hospital and fear of lawsuits if you have a bunch of laboring women wandering about who could slip and fall and it’s just “easier” to have us all strapped into beds regardless of our own instincts and comfort. It’s a whole fucked up cascade.
That being said-all births and labors are valid. There is no more value to my experience than the experience of a woman who schedules her c section a month out. There are as many types of births as there are people being born. It is fucking terrifying and having a panic attack or being overcome with pain you can’t handle is just as detrimental as being forced to labor in a position that your own body is fighting against. I will never judge a person for their choices in this matter. I will judge the fuck out of the side people pressuring a laboring person to make their day easier or more convenient. I had rock solid support for my choices (I was, again, lucky) for the first and disliked my second midwife and had no issue fighting her or the nurses (not a single one had attended an unmedicated birth, I asked) to keep moving with the second.
Industrialized birth should be making us safer but outside considerations (money, time) are killing people. There is no one answer for a successful birth. But pressure from all sides (“natural” vs medicated vs scheduled) is creating a greater harm.
I wanted unmedicated because I was scared of epidural and scared of not being able to feel parts of my body. I also had two close friends that had complications from it. Has nothing to do with fetishism.
Time for a re-watch!
I can see that. But having had a “planned emergency” c section, a pitocin birth with an epidural and a pitocin birth without an epidural, I can tell you that the non-surgical births were truly a metric duck ton easier to recover from than the surgical birth was. I loved my epidural and that’s the only reason I was able to VBAC the first time, and any fool who tried to shame me for any interventions would have heard about it. Women really aren’t treated like full humans at most points in our lives anyway.
Except for the first person and only IRL person who actually shamed me for having had a c-section. Screw you to my Bradley birth coach Julie who said I didn’t try hard enough. Now she and the rest of the freaks in the Bradley world *were* pushing unmedicated birth because of patriarchal reasons.
Something important for all mothers to be (even pre conception) is to look up birthing plans and all kinds of other “checklists” of things to being considering and accounting for when starting a family – from the delivery courses to the school sign ups and the vaccinations and other pregnancy checkups what you can say no to or what you should definitely opt for etc– its a lot to manage!
Its basically a project and you need all kinds of maps and plans lol
I also focused on a V-birth with my first and didn’t have a plan when it ended up being a C-section. Though it wasn’t tramatic, I did have a feeling of loss that took a long time to go away. I would suggest for expecting mom’s to consider having two birth plans v and c. I ended up having 2 more planned c-sections and their were requests I was able to make that made the whole experience better, such as putting electrodes on the back of my shoulder to make it easier to nurse, skin-on-skin in the OR, and pulling down the curtain so that I could see him coming out. The last one isn’t for everyone, but in my case it was something that helped it feel more real and they only had me see when he was coming out so not gross or upsetting.
There is no prize to be won for having a vaginal birth. It is not better or more natural. The prize is having a heathy baby born no matter whether it’s vaginal or caesarean. I’m so tired of these women and their trauma over not having a “natural birth”. What is traumatizing is having your baby die because you don’t have access to medical intervention.
Are you really going to tell a living, healthy 10 year child that you were “traumatized” that they were born by c-section rather than vaginally? The point is to have a healthy baby.
I had a section and I thanked God for it as my baby would have died without it.
I think the trauma comes from being scared that there’s something wrong with your baby and not knowing if they’d be okay, not from having to have a C vs vag delivery.
This is true for me – it wasn’t the c-section itself, it was the entire birth that left a mark – but I will say that for some that are deep into the natural birth movement, c-sections are seen as “unnatural” and that if you can’t give birth vaginally, there is something wrong with you as a woman. This feeds (ha, feeds, get it) into the Breast is Best movement as well.
I think she was scared of her baby being in danger to an extent where could not endure a process that went on safely with the other two.
I had an extremely traumatic birth experience with one of my sons who almost died. Afterwards I was hospitalized for a week, IV’s in both arms, totally exhausted and emotional. Then the anesthesiologist who had been there during the birth came to visit me. (that was very unusual) He was coming to ask me to testify before the hospital board about my doctor. To my horror I learned that my experience had become the norm with this doctor, that he had what the anesthesiologist described as a Sir Galahad syndrome; that he liked to have an emergency develop and go on for an extended period of time, then he would “ride to the rescue” the baby would be saved, and the patient would be grateful. So a group of doctors was trying to get his credentials yanked at that hospital. I was so emotional that I didn’t want to testify but I did give a notarized statement. The upshot was that he lost his credentials, no other hospital would take him, and he had to close his practice. It took years for me to get over it.
This is awful, I am so sorry you experienced this. I am so glad that you and your son were ok!
That is awful! I am so sorry that you went through that. Thank goodness the other doctors in the hospital did the right thing and exposed that guy. Glad you and your son are okay!
After they manually broke my water, I had a prolapsed cord. In less than 30 seconds, my room was filled with nurses and doctors as they ran me to the OR, and the doctor’s full hand was inside of me to keep my son’s head from pushing down on the cord. I was screaming from the pain, and she told me “It’s going to hurt” so I just shut up and breathed through it until they were able to get some drugs in me. They had less than 5 minutes to get him out and once he was out, no one would tell me how he was doing until they were able to get him to breathe on his own. Luckily, he rebounded quickly with no brain damage. That stuff sticks with you.
We need to talk more about birth trauma and I hope she has the support she needs. I’m in therapy due to postpartum preeclampsia 4 years ago
If you don’t mind sharing, what was this like? Preeclampsia was one of the things I was told I should look out for at my age.
I have a lot of thoughts on this. I’m going to try to be concise bc i still have PTSD flashbacks when I think of my first son’s birth.
I was not one who was wed to any type of birth. My mom had had two vaginal births (one with a huge baby) and two c-sections with fairly big babies. my MIL had a c-section with my husband bc he was big but then had a VBAC with his two siblings, including his sister who was big. So I had a feeling genetics were not on my side (my husband has a huge head) and my attitude going into it was that I’d prefer a vaginal birth but if it was a c-section, then so be it. And the only reason I preferred a vaginal birth was bc avoiding major surgery seemed like a better option.
I was good friends at the time with someone who was super pro unmedicated birth and I got a big look into the “natural birth” movement as a result, and it was not for me. It demonized hospitals and doctors, demonized c-sections, etc. she told me once that she did not consider a csection “giving birth” and that if she had needed a c-section she would have needed extensiv therapy bc she would have felt she failed (I did not feel I failed.)
Anyway I ended up with an emergency c-section after 36 hours of labor where he was just not going to come out. I could say more here but I’m trying to be concise here, lol.
The trauma wasn’t bc I had a c-section instead of a vaginal birth. It was because c-sections are major abdominal surgeries yet society is very “oh you should be able to bounce back quickly!” so I felt guilty that I was in pain two weeks later. It was because I was exhausted after 36 hours of labor and then had to recover from a major surgery with a newborn/infant. It was because that moment of being wheeled to the OR was terrifying (once I said “ok” to the surgery it happened very very quickly.)
and looking back I have a lot of anger bc I think the medical team knew it was going to be a csection for hours before they actually pushed the issue, but so many OBs and L&D nurses are worried about being accused of forcing surgeries on women or pressuring them to have interventions that I think since there wasn’t immediate danger, they let me labor. Thats probably not fair but its where the PTSD comes into play.
I ended up with PPD after the birth and I do sometimes wonder if I had just elected a c-section from the start, would I have felt the same way? but the exhaustion and pain did a number on me.
so yes, birth can be traumatic. Unplanned c-sections can be traumatic and scary.
ETA sorry that was not very concise hahahahaha.
I had a planned C section for a transverse lie; daughter was sideways. Arrived at hospital for surgery; she flipped head first and subsequently had a non eventful vaginal birth ,10 days later. I sympathize with the fear of impending surgery, however, and still get palpitations thinking about it.
I also was in labor for days, in my case for 3 days. The doctor wouldn’t let me come in to check, kept saying I just had Braxton-Hicks or false contractions. Finally, my mom hit the ceiling (she called and I was in too much pain to talk) and insisted I go in. She is a nurse, so I listened.
By that time, my water had broken. They still let me suffer for hours. Well, it turned out the baby was breech and labor could not progress (don’t ask how they didn’t already know this) and they called the doctor, who was on the golf course & he said he’d be in as soon as he finished that round. They finally gave me an epidural, whilst waiting.
He did the operation and asked how I was.
“Very tired,” I said.
“Of course, you’re tired,” he said. “You’ve been in labor for three days!”
Way. to gaslight me. I would have been better off with a veternarian. He then asked, while I was still recovering from anesthesia, if he should tie my tubes while I was still under pain kllers. “It will be more complicated later.” I was so traumatized that I think I said yes at first, and then NOOOOOO. Imagine that he was going to do that without even asking my husband how he felt.
Later, at the first followup visit, I had to ask the doctor if I was still intact. He then insisted we talk about birth control. I said, I NEVER asked you about birth control. It is none of your business.
He then looked at my cute little much-planned boy, in his car seat, and said, “I know all about your accident.”
I picked up the child and slammed the door and never went back.
Luckily, my baby and I were strong and healthy and had lots of family surport. But I’m still mad.
Wow. That “doctor” should have his license yanked & never be allowed near a patient, or a woman, again.
I’m so sorry you went through that!
💙💙💙💔💙
He retired soon after that.
My deepest sympathies for all here who’ve had traumatic birth experiences, and my hopes for your present & future happiness. 💙
One note: for those criticizing the natural birth & breastfeeding movements — I have no doubt that the pendulum has swung too far for many of those deeply invested in these ideas. That seems to be our consistent problem.
But I think it’s important to remember that both movements started because women were being habitually bullied by doctors and the entire medical establishment to have completely unnecessary c-sections, and later, to bottle-feed whether they would prefer to breastfeed or not.
There was a huge “mechanization” of women’s health surrounding birth and also infant care, starting in the 1960s as regards c-sections. The rate of c-sections performed has continued to rise globally, and there is significant evidence that one major reason for this is increased profits for doctors and hospitals.
I think everyone should be able to choose the medical care that’s right for them, and have full access to all the healthcare options and resources that they need to be as healthy as possible.
But as with so many topics, when it comes to women’s health, there are way too many thumbs on the scale.
Take a look at the info here starting with the Frequency section. I was rather shocked by these statistics.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caesarean_section?wprov=sfla1