In 2017 (which was 8 years ago, what is time?), I covered a delightful interview with Tracee Ellis Ross, in Redbook, in which she said that she loves going on vacation alone because she can do what she wants. She said she can go at her own pace and that “a lot of women have children, husbands, jobs, so there’s always someone they are accountable to.” This is so true! Many of you commented that you love traveling alone and that’s there’s a lot of freedom in it. My favorite comment was from Tiffany, who said “I am paying for it so I want to do what the hell I want.” Exactly.
Tracee has a new solo travel show, Solo Traveling with Tracee Ellis Ross, which premieres today, Friday July 25, on the Roku Channel. She told Essence magazine why she loves traveling solo and gave some tips for traveling alone as a Black woman.
On her new show
I’ve always traveled solo. I’ve been traveling solo since I was about 24 or 25 years old. I have taken at least one, if not two, solo travel trips a year since then…Throughout the show I am asking my audience the following question: Can you be yourself alone? Can you enjoy who you are? Can you make choices that feel empowered and full of agency when it comes to your happiness and joy? There’s no need to wait for someone or something to find a sense of luxury in your life. And our culture is a little confused about how I see luxury. Sometimes, luxury in our culture often comes with a significant price tag versus the luxury of being safe and having a sense of calm in your nervous system.
Solo travel is not lonely and it’s for everyone
During one of the episodes, a woman said to me that she felt bad for me because I was alone. I was happy that she said that because it allowed us to show someone misunderstand the intention of solo travel, which often happens. People misunderstand what being single at this age or not having children can mean and look like. And as soon as you say the word sadness or loneliness or grief, they think, ‘See, you can’t be happy if you don’t have someone.’ And that’s not true. I know of people who are happily married and still experience loneliness and grief and sadness. So it’s a human thing. It’s not a being single thing, and solo travel is also something that can be for everybody.Solo travel is for people who are in relationships. Solo travel can be about relaxation, and it can also be about adventure. Solo travel can be about meeting people and going on a trip, but it’s also about actually meeting other people who live in different places. There are various reasons to have this experience, but it’s certainly not one to feel sad about or to interpret as a comment on something that’s not working in your life.
On her first trip and why she prefers resorts
I don’t remember being frightened. Maybe I was, but I felt safe. I went to a resort. That’s probably why I still prefer going to resorts, as everything is conveniently located on-site, and I don’t have to venture off the property.Safety tips for traveling alone as a Black woman
This is one of the reasons that social media can be one of the ways social media can be beneficial. There are ways to research places that people have visited, that you know. I also tell people, if you haven’t solo traveled, and there aren’t things that you know about yourself that you like, go somewhere you’ve been before, with friends, somewhere you’ve already been, or go there by yourself and see if you can find that experience just as joyful and wonderful, or a different version of joyful and wonderful, and then start to adventure from there.Also, please provide your friends with the name of the hotel, flight information, and your expected landing time. Check in with people before and after I’ve landed. Trust your instincts. If there’s something that you plan to do when you get there and it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
On what she’s learned from traveling alone
A couple of things, I like to pack a lot. I used to be ashamed about it. I don’t anymore. My overpacking has never hurt anybody. It’s only brought joy. I enjoy my own company. I’m fun and I’m silly!
As a fellow overpacker, I welcome stories from other overpackers. When else can you wear all your cutest clothes and shoes other than on vacation? I can’t stand those advice videos and articles about packing light so it all fits in a carry on for a full week’s travel. If you’re going somewhere in the US you don’t have to worry as much about not packing all your toiletries, for instance, but you can’t replace all your products when you’re in another country! That’s great advice to go to a resort so that everything is taken care of for you. It’s also smart to tell close friends where you’re going and your flight plans so they can check on you.
My friend Karen travels solo to Europe just about every year. She goes on tour group vacations that have itineraries, and has loved all of her experiences. I asked Karen for a quote for this story and she said “I admire Tracee Ellis Ross. We are both the same age. I travelled outside of the country for the first time in 2022. I was so nervous. However, I had an amazing time and met another solo traveler. We both talked about how important it was to do the things. I am so glad I did it and I am planning another trip to Europe next year! I’m glad I got over my fear of solo traveling.”
This should be a fun look into Tracee’s aspirational vacations, and I’m looking forward to it. I have Rokus on all my TVs! Their UI is the best.
Photos credit: Iammeysam/Backgrid, MediaPunch/Backgrid
I’m also an unapologetic overpacker. I like to have options when I get dressed, so I often pack 2 or three outfits for each day. That way I can dress according to the mood I am in. It does mean more luggage but it is worth it to my serenity.
I love this. Must try and watch her show. Love my solo trips so much, I try to do as many as possible, even if it’s just a early morning to late night the following day to the UK from Ireland. Lovely to see someone highlight solo travelling and genuinely enjoying your own company and peace.
I have solo travelled all over the world as a child free spouse free adult. Never ever had a problem I couldn’t sort out on my own. I have also travelled with family and friends and, while I will make exceptions for nervous family members (I am the only world traveller in my family), friends will get cut off after one bad trip. I recently went with 2 girlfriends to Paris – a city I know very well but, as my cancer was beginning to relapse, I wanted one last trip with amazing meals before my immune system and energy was shot. I organized the apartment and all the lunches out. 1 of the friends was terrific, the other caused problems from the jump, picking arguments and holding every plan up with ‘her important phone calls home’. 3 days in, the stress of it resulted in a diverticulitis flare so horrific, I was on a liquid diet for the last 3 days. In Paris. Did either of these friends know what to do in case of a medical emergency? Did either help me get to a hospital to get scanned and treated? Nope. I can not stress enough that traveling with the wrong people is an expensive, friendship ending mistake.
I had a trip ruined by a difficult friend, and have never traveled with her again. To me there is an unwritten law when traveling together that you don’t force your choices on anyone else, and you certainly don’t abandon a friend who is having a medical emergency. I have another friend who I found out the hard way it’s a snorer. I was exhausted from lack of sleep and would only travel with her again if we had separate rooms.
I’m going to the beach in a couple of weeks. I overpack and I don’t regret it. I pack at least a week’s worth of underwear even though I will be gone for 3 days. Because I’m in the states I can go to CVS or Walgreens if I forget something.
Oh, for those of you who are thinking of a trip to Europe, pack washcloths (if you use them). A lot of these hotels don’t have them. Also, pack a small travel iron because most of them don’t have them in the rooms. Learn that lesson the hard way.
Slay on, childless queen. There is more to life than submitting to other people
@Lolaburns beautifully said!
She is delightful and he show sounds great.
I am teaching myself to over-pack and that it’s not a failure to come home with stuff you haven’t worn. That said I ALWAYS check a case but that’s as much about shopping and bringing things back with me.
I also love to travel solo. My b/f and I do a trip or two each year but I love to go by myself too. I visit a friend in Spain every year and this year I didn’t have a few days out there by myself before going to stay with her and her family and I really missed it!
I did my first solo trip – a weekend in an American city after watching a co-worker take 3 week European vacations solo, for two years in a row. I then took a trip to Paris and the Netherlands for my second solo trip, two places I had visited before, but with my family. It was a different experience. I got to see all the things I missed the first time because the group wanted to prioritize other experiences. Before both trips, I plotted all the places I wanted to go on Google Maps, and then just wandered. Some days, I walked; other days, I hopped on and off those tourist buses. Both vacations were unforgettable. I had a great time and never felt lonely or afraid. Imagine visiting a city and doing everything you want, at the pace you want to do it at. INCREDIBLE.
I fight the urge to overpack on every trip. Overpackers – how do you manage lugging your stuff around?! I get if you are going to one resort and getting picked up from the airport, that would be easy. But I just schlepped through London and Paris on the tube, Eurostar, and metro, and was glad to only have my carry-on. Do you just have to suck it up and arrange private transportation?
This is my issue as well. I just got back from overpacking on a trip to Europe and it’s a pain to carry huge suitcases on a train. Not going to do that again.
I’m also a frequent solo traveler and a happy over-packer. I love the freedom of a checked bag. Plus It’s such fun to have a choice of outfits and room for your toiletries. Admittedly I stick to direct flights with less risk of losing your luggage. Also, I build a taxi to and from the airport into the budget. I have found easing the stressful parts of arrival and departure make solo travel a lot easier.
I love solo travel. I try to do at least one weekend away each year. And my husband does a solo camping trip at the end of every school year. We like being together, but being alone rocks!
I went to New York by myself last year, and when I told my colleague, he repeated, “By yourself? Like not meeting anyone or anything?” like five times, then shook his head and said, “That’s the bravest thing I’ve ever heard of.” Seriously?! I LOVE being able to just do things and eat places without a negotiation every time. I met some super interesting people that I wouldn’t have even glanced at if I’d been traveling with someone.
I think some people, like my colleague, just can’t fathom how to be in their own company happily. I find other people stressful, even my family, so a solo vacation is heaven.
As for over-packing, I can’t do it. I hate lugging my stuff around, and I tend to be on the move a lot when I’m traveling. If it’s a car trip, I’ll take more. But I hate checking luggage if I don’t have to.
I am the same!! I used to love work travel, because I could unashamedly eat a lovely dinner solo after a hard day’s work, with wine and my Wine Spectator magazine and NOT HAVE TO TALK. Or, if I wanted to talk, there were interesting people just a table or a bar drink away. You can engage as much as you want or as little as you want. And sleep spreadeagled on a heavenly hotel bed with four pillows and not give a damn!
I am happily married and familied and solo travel is still a big thing for me, even if just for a weekend. You can hear yourself think. You can meet (or travel with, in an organised group) with like minded people without any relationship or other business going on. Just long chats under the stars with (one of my most memorable trips) a botanist, an astronomer, a couple of other scientists chatting about all and sundry while making campfire lasagna before your next day’s hike. Or a boat ride down the Nile that my bachelor friend did with experts in history, archeology and Egyptology, sleeping on the boat and puttering around the shore during the day. Or my husband nearing retirement taking a boy’s weekend to Vienna to explore the city and have some fun.
SO MUCH to see in this world. I sincerely can’t understand people who say they would be bored if they won the lottery? When you can travel the world and learn so much and connect with people that share or challenge your worldview?
OT: I adore Trace Ellis Ross and will definitely watch her series! I love travel series
Overpacking depends on context. I just took 2 1/2 week trip that involved a significant amount of train travel and movement. Having only my carry on and a backpack made getting on and off and the buses and trams I took so much easier. Plus, I got super detained on the way back, had my flight cancelled, and had to get a last minute hotel room. Since I hadn’t checked my bags, I was all good to go and could fly standby the next day.
I like laying out all my clothes and really thinking about what I’m going to bring and what I need.
Her outfit in that top photo is glorious … she is so fun and vivacious. I’m going to watch the hell out of her show.
And I’m an overpacker, too. It’s not a fun vacation for me if I have to wash the same 3 outfits over and over again to get through it.
In that first picture Tracee looks exactly like her mama!!!!!😮😮😮😮
I’ve always thought she resembled her dad.
To pack is to overpack – Is my motto.
I usually have to pay because my bag is heavy and I end up shipping stuff back too. I’m a shopper and I love fashion. When I go on vacation, I put a lot of thought into what I’m wearing and I also need options too!
I’ve recently started solo traveling, with my dog. Just weekend trips. Mostly sightseeing but on my own schedule since I have the pup. She is small so she’s easy to bring places. I also do use a stroller for her. Mostly because she can get freaked out by crowds. It’s been entertaining to watch people’s reaction. It’s also amazing how many people just see a stroller and assume child.
Love solo travel and packing whatever the hell you want but I do not understand the preference to stay in resorts. That isn’t travel to me. Travel is exoloring a place and seeing the sites and interacting with the local culture. A resort is shut off from the world IMO. It’s fine if that’s what you want because you’d like to chill by a pool or the beach and relax, and occasionally head out on some excursion but that isn’t “travel” to me. It is people who want to go somewhere different but not actually interact with that place and stay in an almost hermetically sealed bubble.