Just like The Tortured Poets Department, Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl leaked online a few days before the album’s official release. People quickly became focused on one particular song, “Actually Romantic.” The first lines of the song: “I heard you call me “Boring Barbie”/when the coke’s got you brave/High-fived my ex and then you said you’re glad he ghosted me/Wrote me a song saying it makes you sick to see my face/Some people might be offended/But it’s actually sweet/All the time you’ve spent on me/It’s honestly wild/All the effort you’ve put in/It’s actually romantic.”
The backstory: Taylor used to date Matt Healy, the lead singer of The 1975. Charli XCX dated and is now married to George Daniel, drummer of The 1975. Charli and Taylor were around each other briefly because of that. Charli referenced that in the song “Sympathy Is a Knife” on her album Brat, which came out last year. The lyrics to “SIAK” include: “I don’t wanna share this space/I don’t wanna force a smile/This one girl taps my insecurities/Don’t know if it’s real or if I’m spiraling” and “’Cause I couldn’t even be her if I tried/I’m opposite, I’m on the other side.”
Charli’s song is about her own insecurities, and comparing herself unfavorably to Taylor. Charli’s message last year was very clear, and she even spelled it out in interviews and social media, that most of Brat was about not feeling good enough, comparing herself to other pop stars, and feeling societal pressure to both compete with other pop girls and be besties with other pop girls. And Taylor took that as a diss track and called Charli a cokehead. Is it possible that Taylor just… didn’t understand “SIAK”? Possibly. Is it also possible that Charli and Taylor had beef beyond “SIAK,” beef about Matt Healy? Probably. Charli is close to Healy’s fiancee, and I could absolutely see how Taylor is in her feelings about the Matt Healy of it all.
Incidentally, last year, Lorde understood the assignment. Lorde heard Charli’s “girl, so confusing” and she didn’t take it as a diss track or anything. Lorde immediately hopped on the remix, and it turned into the best song to come out of the Brat Era, with both Charli and Lorde owning their own insecurities and Lorde telling Charli that of course she still rides for her.
Updated to add Taylor’s new explanation for “Actually Romantic,” which is bonkers. Taylor really operates as if every single personshe encounters is obsessed with her.
Lmao the way she explains the track😭 pic.twitter.com/5d9NjDLwpN
— Lyrical SWlFT (@CasualSwiftay) October 3, 2025
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, cover courtesy of TS.
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- MIRACLE MILE, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – NOVEMBER 02: Charli XCX wearing Gucci arrives at the 13th Annual LACMA Art + Film Gala 2024 presented by Gucci held at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art on November 2, 2024 in Miracle Mile, Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 929939894, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Charli XCX, Credit line: Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon
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- RECORD DATE NOT STATED LOS ANGELES, CA – DECEMBER 12: Charli XCX at LA premier of Nosferatu at TCL Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles, California on December 12, 2024. Copyright: xFayexSadoux,Image: 946147926, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: imago is entitled to issue a simple usage license at the time of provision. Personality and trademark rights as well as copyright laws regarding art-works shown must be observed. Commercial use at your own risk., Model Release: no, Credit line: IMAGO/Faye Sadou/Avalon
I had to read the Charlie XCX lyrics again in case I was misunderstanding, but and read more to me like, ” she’s so big and perfect, I’m so intimidated in her presence, I can’t be that perfect pop celebrity like her”, so the response seems … unnecessarily catty? Or at the bare minimum kind of missing the point on how your stratospheric influence and success can still intimidate people who are successful too. Which is odd, because I feel like that’s something that Taylor usually gets.
Maybe behind the scenes it is less about that intimidation factor, and more I just don’t like that b. So, she may not be as generous with her assessment of the real intentions of the song as other people. Though I have to admit “boring Barbie” is pretty funny, if someone called me that I’d have to give them the point. In any case though if it’s just song to song it seems like an odd response. But, I don’t know these people so who knows!
Exactly. Charli xcx is more exposing an insecurity and being vulnerable with her music. It wasn’t directed at Taylor as much as directed at herself and how hard she is on herself. I usually get on board for pettiness but Taylor Swift is really just vindictive. With a capital V. No reason for this. It’s an ugly trait, I think.
I think this is where we can recognize that Taylor needs a piece of humble pie and is delulu when she thinks so many people have her living in their heads rent free. The other artists have their own lives to live, success to take in, challenges to face, i dont think they have time for this. (Except for Blake Lively these days. )
She’s the only
one looking for stories in nothingburgers to create an imaginary life of words, to possibly manipulate her fanbase in making them believe her songs are a glimpse of her real life. She doesnt have a real normal life since many years, she lives secluded with security and legal teams around her.
There are more things in the ecuation tho…like Taylor had Charlie as opening act in one of her tour..big opportunity and Charlie basically said that it was a concert for kids..that was hatefull is not true the audience for Taylor’s music is not just kids..that was uncall for and ungratefull on Charlie side
@Raquel, Charli didn’t say that. She said, “I’m really grateful that [Taylor] asked me on that tour. But as an artist, it kind of felt like I was getting up on stage and waving to 5-year-olds.” She literally said she was grateful, but her audience has been rave parties with +18 crowd with alcohol and drugs since she was at the scene. I am sure that was the first time she performed in front of a very young audience. Taylor has always been a safe artist for parents, which is not a bad thing. They just had different audience.
It is obvious that Taylor pissed off about Matty situation, it isn’t about some quote from almost a decade ago.
People that have heard Taylor’s new album said this song and the lyrics brought down the whole vibe of the album.
that and the trad wife song and the gushing on someone’s wood plus and why is she trying to be Sabrina.
My take is Charlie was insecure etc but possibly “pick me girled” Taylor making it clear who was in with the guys and really a part of the crew. Seen it so many times. Then when called out becomes all innocent and sad and gaslights the other girl into thinking all the passive aggressive comments were just misunderstood.
Maybe I’m wrong maybe not but personal experience tells me to be wary of the “insecure guys girl”
EXCACTLY!!!!! The insecurity card is often used and then they turn around and gossip badly behind your back. Insecurity is not an excuse for being mean. If she was that insecure, why didn’t she apologise in her song if she admitted that she wronged her? Because she is not sorry att all.
This 100%. “Insecure guys’ girls” are the MOST catty, especially because the shit they’ll do and say behind your back while pretending to innocent/insecure bonkers.
Honestly? I just enjoyed the music. I don’t care about the story behind this song and Taylor’s intentions, real or not.
The song is fun, I’m old and have very little idea who Charlie is – so I was just thinking back to the Kim thing. And while finding the theories about the “real” meaning of her songs can be fun, I just like the song,
Either way, the song is really funny and a lovely way to put a spin on someone talking shit.
We all know Taylor can be a petty bitch.
I think Charli pushed on a very specific issue that Taylor has. Her constant need to be perceived as cool, which she has admitted multiple times. I imagine her going into her relationship with Matt Healy and expecting to be included in the British cool kids clique, only to receive pushback from Charli behind her back and then seeing it plainly in Charli’s song. The reply was inevitable as we all know that Taylor is nothing if not extremely petty and unforgiving. But I also don’t think that Charli is completely innocent in this silly feud.
Spot on. I could totally see Taylor be bothered by not being part of the “cool kids” and projecting those insicurities. But it could also be that there was some gossiping done by Charli that clearly bothered her.
I can’t believe I’m the one siding with Taylor here, but..Charli’s song is not the sum total of their interactions. Charli may have written her song about her own insecurities, but if she was a jerk to Taylor because of those insecurities and talked sh*t about her both behind her back and to her face, her insecurity doesn’t erase that, and admitting she was insecure is not a real apology. Also the “high-fiving the ex” thing, if it happeneds, is vile on Charli’s part.*
*Healy is a racist dbag, Taylor dating him is a damning indictment on her character, and so is Charli’s continued association with him.
I mean, Brat is fanatstic and does explore her insecurities but that doesn’t mean she gets a free pass for being mean, cruel, or catty to others. If she did call Taylor a “Boring Barbie” and celebrate the way Healy cruelly ghosted her(‘allegedly’) I can see Taylor not feeling generous about it all and picking up her own pen.
I do think Taylor was missing the point of CharlI’s song so Taylor’s response of “You thinnk so much about me,” is off. But wanting to respond to someone who was likely nice to your face and horrible about you behind your back is pretty human.
I feel old. I don’t like either of these songs. The lyrics sound juvenile with no subtlety whatsoever, there is no melody and they sound like the singing has no connection to the music at all.
Is this the pop girl version of cardi b and Niki? Minus the extensive back and forth and talking about kids but still.
A long time ago my boss (male) told me men only see women as either being pretty or smart, but never both. And when they do meet a woman who is both pretty AND smart, they only want to focus on the pretty part, otherwise it’s too overwhelming for them. I see women do this as well these days too. Taylor is incredibly beautiful, but she’s also incredibly smart. This is her way of letting them know that she’s aware of what’s being said and done behind her back.
Taylor is at the top of her game after that tour. It is so so so so bad of a look to be vindictive like this. She’s had feuds galore. If she’s so smart she needs to do some personal reflection. Maybe some therapy. I’m always here for petty, but vindictive ? – no thanks
If Charli called her Boring Barbie, that’s what’s fueling this whole thing. Because, no matter how famous Taylor is, she’s still just that – boring. I was super excited about this album because I love Max Martin, but it’s just lukewarm oatmeal with the occasional bite of brown sugar.
The Guardian wrote about this song as well, echoing Kaiser’s well-put summation of this stupid diss track:
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2025/oct/03/taylor-swifts-charli-xcx-hit-job-misses-the-point-and-underscores-her-tedious-obsession-with-conflict
Ooof. And ouch. Good article, thx for posting. That writer is definitely going on Taylor’s hit list though. I hope for her sake curses aren’t real ☠️
They might be if you get one from a witch on Etsy…
At this point I think it’s a feature not a bug that Taylor needs to have her victim moment. Even when she’s in the right it’s hard to stomach cuz all we see of her is world domination.
They clearly had a contentious relationship. I think Healy was partially to blame. He didn’t protect her from his friends or his friends from her and exacerbated everyone insecurities by doing the bare minimum. Taylor has talked about how her celebrity takes over the room, you can’t wing something like that. And her friends probably knew he was never serious about her so of course they were just waiting for her and her massive presence and fanbase to go.
Unfortunately Taylor can’t win here. We can assume a lot of things between Taylor and Charli but the only thing on record is these 2 songs. And 1 is a girl acknowledging her insecurities and the other is a girl mocking her for them and calling her a cokehead. It doesn’t help that Lorde did the opposite and was like girl I have insecurities too. It really doesn’t help that while Taylor may want to see herself as the underdog we see her as top dog. She looks like she’s punching down.
I’m sorry to say it but this is the first time I’ve ever viewed Taylor Swift as a total loser, has been. Who would be this mean? It’s distasteful
Seriously. I cannot help to think that the Grammy’s and Charli’s performance brought this on and Matty seems to be still a thing. Wood made that clear that is a dish track on his organ.
It would be off brand if Taylor didn’t have a song calling out something that another girl said about her a long time ago. And yeah…if she wants to address it that’s her right, but did she have to out someone’s drug use? Is that the equivalent of what Charli said in her song?
“IT’S NOT MY FAULT YOUR LIKE IN LOVE WITH ME OR SOMETHING!”
This song does nothing but prove the Regina George similarities to Taylor. I also think there are possibly more things behind the scenes between Charli and Taylor, but saying that “No man has ever loved me like you do”? First of all, why would you volunteer that info about your love life 😭😭? Also, feeling insecure about someone more successful, beautiful, smart than you doesn’t mean they are in love with you. It is just good old jealousy, which is in itself not pretty. So, no need to look for some deeper meaning. All I am saying, she wrote great disses in the past, so I really thought Taylor could do much much better than this.
Wait…he dumped her????
The lyrics suggest he ghosted her? But I’m not sure the lyrics always reflect reality so idk?
Is this this the one where she claims it makes her wet?
Sorry but eww.
And I hope I never have to hear Wood.
Yes. I think maybe she was borrowing a page from Chappell’ Roan’s My Kink is Karma.
I wish there was a like button for this post.
Oh my gosh I’m so sick of her fake nice girl act. Charli’s song was, as you say, self-reflective. And interesting for that reason. Taylor’s song is childish and her point about the time spent is stupid as she’s spent just as much time now responding! If not more! She’s such a fake girl-power regina George and I’m so tired of her.
I think another aspect of this is that Charli is close with Matty Healy’s fiancé Gabbriette. They have a very different look and vibe than Taylor. This might be some of her hurt and insecurity coming out directed towards Charli. Still not a good look though when you’re the most famous and successful pop star in the world.
“ Taylor really operates as if every single person she encounters is obsessed with her.”
It’s called narcissism, specifically narcissistic rage. Usually brught on by a narcissistic injury- which means almost anything can be interpreted as a personal attack, including constructive criticism, being told “no,” or not getting enough attention.
This is what Trump has. Except he’s a malignant narcissist. Taylor is more of a covert or altruistic narcissist.
She is beautiful, insanely talented and smart and has been amazing to her fans throughout her career. I wish she would get into serious therapy. She’s 35, this endlessly taking every comment, joke, or action by others as a declaration of war when you have all the power and weapons is exhausting and not a good look.
I loved the song! It’s well written, funny and catchy. We also don’t know for sure who it’s about. I mean I’m gonna go Charlie but it could be anyone or a lot of people she rolled into one character.
Also we don’t know the bts stuff that happens and is said so it could be about stuff we don’t know about and not a song. However, saying you’re insecure doesn’t excuse being rude.
Anyway I like the song it’s for a fun vibe and is catchy. I don’t care who it’s about.
OK but her description kind of also makes me think she’s talking about Trump? He’s so obsessed with her it’s ridiculous.
I was coming here very late to say I 1,000,000% think it’s about Trump!
in my mind it is an amalgamation of a lot of people. There are so many people wanting to die on a hill that Taylor is boring or irrelevant but they can’t stop talking about her. If you are still here shit talking, bitch, you’re a fan… to paraphrase…
This makes sense to me, Amy.
When someone has always been a mean hypocrite, don’t be surprised when she acts like a mean hypocrite.
I thought it was about Olivia Rodriguez. It has the same musical style… And something that Lacey and vampire are about Taylor.