The leading madcap caper of this week has undoubtedly been the brazen heist of jewelry from the Louvre Museum in Paris. The story ticks all the boxes: the most-visited museum in the world, crime committed in broad daylight using costumes and a motorcycle escape, items stolen were over $100 million of dazzling jewels that were of national pride for France. And of course, the fact that the thieves and loot are still at large. Well, it seems France’s southern neighbor Spain has taken in the global hoopla over a few baubles and said, “Hold my cerveza.” Between August and September, a motley group of thieves stole nearly $70,000-worth of more than 1,100 outdoor chairs from 18 restaurants and bars in Madrid and nearby Talavera de la Reina. Seven arrests were just made:

Certain restaurant and bar owners in Spain are missing most, if not all, of their dining chairs after a criminal group had been stealing chairs from outdoor seating areas.

According to a report from the Associated Press, published on Wednesday, Oct. 22, Spain’s National Police force announced the arrest of seven suspects (six men and one woman) who were accused of making off with over 1,100 chairs in just two months.

The accused reportedly targeted 18 establishments across Madrid and Talavera de la Reina, a smaller city southwest of the capital, during August and September. Authorities estimate the stolen chairs were worth roughly $69,000, or 60,000 euros.

According to investigators, as reported by AP, the group operated primarily at night, carefully selecting restaurants and bars where chairs were left outside. Many Spanish eateries keep tables and chairs outdoors, even after hours, by stacking them together and even chaining them to deter theft. Despite these precautions, the suspects managed to remove the furniture without immediate detection.

Police stated that the stolen chairs were not kept for personal use. Instead, the suspects resold them both in Spain and abroad, including in Morocco and Romania, turning what might seem like a small-scale prank into a lucrative criminal enterprise.

The seven individuals now face charges of theft and belonging to a criminal organization. Authorities emphasized the unusual nature of the case, noting that while petty theft is common, the systematic targeting of outdoor seating on such a large scale is rare.

For Madrid and Talavera de la Reina restaurateurs, the case serves as a reminder that even everyday objects left in plain sight can become targets. Police have urged establishments to continue and take extra precautions for securing outdoor furniture and to remain vigilant, especially during late hours.

While the image of stolen chairs may provoke a smirk, the consequences were serious for both the business owners and the suspects, who could face significant legal repercussions if convicted.

[From People]

Y’all know my love of absurdist humor, so I simply cannot allow this comment to go without special commendation: “The systematic targeting of outdoor seating on such a large scale is rare.” A perfect sentence, if I ever saw one. And hey, can’t blame the criminals for spying a lucrative opportunity while Spanish authorities were taking a siesta on a whole department of thievery! These seven arrests have been made, but maybe the police can unravel the whole syndicate — and keep the world from smirking at crimes against furniture! — if they put Detectives Raymour & Flanigan on the case. And if we’re being honest, the first thing that smells fishy to me is that of all things, this group was stealing chairs from restaurants. It has a whiff of the Rodney Dangerfield bit, “My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.” They’re restaurants — the food is right there! As a lifelong lover of culinary arts and eating, that’s what I would target in a restaurant heist.

I wonder where in the world our next caper will take us. In the meantime, I’ll be imagining some disgustingly wealthy mafioso/oligarch stepping outside to enjoy a morning cup of coffee, reposed in some newly acquired seating and donning a sapphire-and-diamond tiara sparkling away in the sun.

Photos credit: Wendy Wei, Maksym Parovenko, Luis Quintera on Pexels