Ashley Tisdale published a long essay in The Cut this week about breaking up with her “toxic” mom group. The essay elaborated upon a post to her website a few weeks ago. It accused these moms of “mean-girl” behavior by leaving her out of group side-chats and events. She described how she left the chat after calling them “high school.”
Everyone figured out pretty quickly that she was talking about the mom group that she was in with Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, Meghan Trainor, and several other non-famous moms. Internet sleuths put together a timeline and started speculating that Ashley fell out with the other women because she wasn’t there for her friends who were affected by the LA fires and posted a Charlie Kirk tribute. Her rep denied all of this, but Hilary Duff’s husband Matthew Koma wasn’t having it. Matthew shaded Ashley hard via Instagram Stories with a picture of her photospread from The Cut essay with his head edited onto her body. It was accompanied by an even shadier caption that called her “the most self obsessed tone deaf person on Earth.”
Hilary Duff’s husband Matthew Koma has entered the conversation surrounding Ashley Tisdale leaving her “toxic mom group.” Koma, 38, posted a photo of himself photoshopped onto Tisdale’s body. In the photo, he is seen sitting on a couch next to a houseplant, while wearing an all-black outfit paired with rose-tinted lensed sunglasses on his Instagram Story on Tuesday, Jan. 6.
Koma added The Cut’s logo and a fictional headline to the photo, which read “When You’re The Most Self Obsessed Tone Deaf Person On Earth, Other Moms Tend To Shift Focus To Their Actual Toddlers,” with a sub-headline that read, “A Mom Group Tell All Through A Father’s Eyes.”
“Read my new interview with @TheCut,” Koma captioned the Instagram Story post. The post appears to directly slam Tisdale’s recent personal essay published in The Cut on Monday, Jan. 5.
Tisdale, 40, kept the women from her former friend group anonymous in the piece, instead framing the experience as an empowering reminder that it is okay for anyone to walk away from relationships that no longer feel healthy.
“If a mom group consistently leaves you feeling hurt, drained or left out, it’s not the mom group for you,” Tisdale wrote. “Choosing to step away doesn’t make you mean or judgmental. It makes you honest with yourself. It’s also worth remembering that friendships, like all relationships, have seasons.”
She recalled in the personal essay that a series of small moments allegedly led her to step away from the group. The High School Musical alum said that when she realized she was no longer being invited to group hangouts, she initially brushed it off and made excuses for why she was left out.
“We were all busy, life was hectic. I told myself it was all in my head and it wasn’t a big deal,” Tisdale wrote. But after the third or fourth time she saw photos on social media of her friends together without her, she began to feel the exclusion was intentional.
“As I increasingly felt left out, I remembered something. Or rather, someone,” Tisdale recalled in the essay. “During the early days of the group, there was another mom who often wasn’t included. I’d picked up on hints of a weird dynamic, but at the time, I didn’t dwell on it too much. I was just so happy to have found these incredible, smart, funny women.”
She continued, “Now it seemed that this group had a pattern of leaving someone out. And that someone had become me. Why me? The truth is, I don’t know and I probably never will.”
“A Mom Group Tell All Through A Father’s Eyes.” Ashley may claim to not know why she was left out of group events, but it sure sounds like Matthew is dying to tell the world what went down from Hilary’s perspective. Oh please, no one take his phone away. Let that man go off and defend his wife. There’s so much bad sh-t going on in the world right now, and we need the distraction of this very low-stakes drama involving actresses/singers who were big in the early 2000s. Ashley’s former bestie, Vanessa Hudgens, has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now.
Speaking of defending a wife’s honor, Ashley’s husband, Christopher French, also weighed in on Instagram. First, he reposted then deleted a graphic that read, “It’s your choice whether or not to engage.” After Matthew’s Instagram Story about Ashley went up, he reposted a different graphic that read, “Underrated Life Skill: Pausing to decide if it’s worth your energy.” Meh. That’s not as fun or petty as Matthew’s post, but I suppose someone has to be the adult in the room.
Hilary Duff’s husband, Matthew Koma, mocks Ashley Tisdale’s “Breaking Up With My Toxic Mom Group” article for The Cut magazine:
“When You’re The Most Self Obsessed Tone Deaf Person On Earth, Other Moms Tend To Shift Focus To Their Actual Toddlers” pic.twitter.com/PQeoCsxbED
— Pop Base (@PopBase) January 7, 2026
photos credit: Fayes Vision/startraksphoto.com/Cover Images
LOL this is fun. Maybe they don’t trust her because she posted a CK tribute? I know if any of my friends came out with that shit, I’d be side eyeing the hell out of them. Thankfully, I don’t have people like that in my life.
I hope this feud continues because this is the pettiness I didn’t know I needed.
Invoking the “mean girls” trope is so misogynistic, it makes my blood boil. It assumes that when women are in conflict, it must be because they’re petty, emotional, jealous, or catty — not because of real disagreements, power dynamics, ethical differences, or legitimate harm.
Men in conflict are allowed to have ideologies, strategies, principles, and motives. Women in conflict get… “ugh, drama.” Just another way to dismiss women.
The fact that SHE chose to use that label says to me that she’s willing to be reductive to deflect the conversation away from WHY they chose not to include her.
Clammanderjen, ironic because you’re posting on a message board called “celebitchy.” Do understand the irony, or do I need to talk wit a widdle baby voice because you’re a woman?
Clearly Kelli, yes — there are a-holes everywhere (thank you for the demonstration). But I don’t condone reductive, misogynistic language that exists specifically to diminish women. Criticism doesn’t require a trope that’s been used for decades to discredit women as a group.
The Altadena and Palisades fires have been devastating. We are still rebuilding and equity funds are buying up people’s property. I would be pretty butt hurt if I had a good friend not check in with me.
The original article/essay was kind of a head scratcher anyways. It was framed as empowerment but it was really just a blind gossip item. Why would she invite that into her life? It wasn’t like it was an interview and someone asked her a hard question – she choose to talk about this. And now it’s blowing up on her. Her decision to write what she did is why we’re talking about this. She didn’t have to do it. And to say it’s “blind” or that she didn’t name names makes no sense in this day and age. Internet sleuths find out EVERYTHING.
I didn’t really understand the point of her article in the first place. Like what was she expecting to gain, or do? I just don’t get it.
Pausing to decide if it’s worth your energy could also have applied to his wife’s essay for the Cut so I’m not sure what that comment’s really doing, lol.
I thought the same thing.
ESH. Seems to me like they are all proving her point – including original post. High school. Actually, no – middle school. I wouldn’t hand w any of these vapid look-at-my-pretty-IG-life mean girls for five minutes.
Agree!
And the husbands are part of the mean girls!
It’s very telling about each of them (Hillary and her husband) — and their dynamics towards all of their friends, not just the ones they ostracize.
Does Hillary’s husband not have anything better to do than insert himself in some high school mom drama?
Maybe it’s my introvert-self speaking, but their group photos are all very… mean girl. Wearing the same/matching outfits and very much having similar looks, smiling glamorously in a limo or on vacation, Hillary is *always* in the middle. They might be lovely people (?) but their photos give off a vibe that has a bad rep for a reason.
Also, is Meghan Trainor the mom who was ejected from the group when Ashley was welcomed?
And yes, I will acknowledge that I am heavily invested in this nonsense. My own friends are very nice people!
I was coming to say the same thing, Hilary’s husband’s response just proves that the group IS toxic! And Meghan Trainor’s response does too.
Based on AT essay, it seemed that the “toxic” behavior was not inviting her to stuff? They weren’t bullying her, right? It seems like AT was assigning motives to people who just don’t want to hang out with her. Or maybe she is an outer circle friend to people who are closer to each other. That hurts – I’ve been there. But that’s not high school, that’s just life.
As a culture, people have gooooot to stop calling everything they don’t like “toxic”. So many people don’t understand the words they’re using and it drives me insane, esp with therapy-speak.
…and she was perfectly okay when they were doing this to another mom in the group too.
But the leopard won’t eat MY face!!
Honestly, they all sound exhausting but I will agree it’s a nice diversion from watching our world burn.
So Ashley really is Sharpay?? I love this low-stakes story!
In 2026 we are not doing “writing an essay in the Cut isn’t the ‘best way’ to handle a situation.” Mean girl propaganda. That kind of narrative is how they keep control. “I can act passive aggressive, but if you speak to me about it and nothing changes and you leave the group and do something like write an essay, well that’s not the “best way” is a manipulation tactic. Pettiness gets shit done sometimes. It clearly outed these bitches who could have been honest if her behavior was a concern to them. It worked for 50 and it worked for Kendrick. In 2026 if you want to label standing up to people “petty” so you can get away with it than good, we’re petty! 2026 is the year of pettiness kings 50 and Kendrick! GTFO Hilary! I know Lindsay understands!
I heard Ashley is die-hard Republican and maybe her views didn’t align with the Mom group like they used to… I don’t know but after her Charlie Kirk Tribute…I am definitely giving her the side-eye.
This is messy. As much as i wanted to be team Ashley the more that comes out the more she does come off as immature and petty. She wasnt getting invited to things but she was to others. I think she just didn’t get that closeness builds over time and investment. I have a lot of friends but I sometimes only invite certain ones for certain events. I have had people do what she described to me but no one owes me and invitation to an invent or gathering that is being hosted by someone else. I never really thought about it that much because they invited me to other things so sometimes yes sometimes no and its fine. I’m not the center of the universe. I think she didn’t click well and when she asked why she wasnt invited it made everything weird. If you have to ask why you weren’t included you’re setting your self up for hurt feelings. They didnt invite you because they didn’t want to invite you and they invited you to other things because they did want to invite you to instead. She needs more social circles. Go swing with others when these are doing other things. Expand … sounds like she was waiting around for the phone to ring and a bit to much into the whatsapp chats. i have like 12 chats going on with different groups. Some are in several some are in one. Who cares Ashley.
None of them are looking good. Except for maybe Ashley’s husband. The ‘celebrity’ moms and husbands have all outed themselves by responding with petty, snarky comments. Trainor even used her song. And now it appears like they are ganging up on her. Enough is enough.