This story is hysterical, and it’s yet another twist on the “Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie are going to end up doing it, and Brad Pitt will cry and Vanessa Paradis will shank” stories. Apparently, Star Magazine now thinks that Angelina and Johnny will not end up doing it, because Johnny is terrified of Angelina and her Vadge of Doom. Star (via Jezebel) reports that Angelina has been trying to put the moves of Johnny as they’ve been filming The Tourist, but that Johnny is totally “freaked out” and he’s asked his staff to “run interference” whenever Angelina comes near him. Um… aren’t they playing love interests in this movie? She might just be standing close to him because they’re in the scene together, just sayin’.
Angie is “humiliated” because Johnny Depp refuses to be seduced by her. The caption here reads: “Sexy Angie is making Johnny so uncomfortable, insiders say, that he’s told his entourage not to leave him alone with her. ‘He and his bodyguards have developed signals,’ reveals a source. ‘When Angelina gets too close, Johnny gives the look and someone runs interference.'”
Here are her methods of seduction on the set of The Tourist: She stands too close, invades his personal space, and once even brushed crumbs off of his beard. BRAZEN HUSSY! Once, the script called for them to kiss — just a little peck on the lips — but Angelina used tongue. An insider says: “It totally freaked Johnny out, and he drew away, but Angie just gave him a naughty smile.”
[From Star Magazine via Jezebel]
Is any of this true? It’s funny if it is. It would be a great plotline for a farce, with Johnny falling all over himself not to be sucked into the vortex of the Vadge of Doom. Too bad The Tourist seems to be an action-drama!
Anyway, just a little lightness so we can enjoy these lovely photos of them working together. This one is my one of my favorites, because Johnny really does look freaked out!
Johnny: “Uh… where are my bodyguards?!?”
Angelina: “Oh, you will be mine!”
Angelina: *chuckle* “Vadge of Doom, good one, Johnny!”
Johnny: “Don’t stand so close to me, okay?”
Johnny and Angelina filming ‘The Tourist’ on March 16, 17 & 18, 2010. Credit: WENN.
Why does he have Shirley Temple hair?
he looks gross and ugly – but not as stinky and dirty as Brad so I can see she would got for him.
That’s why she looked so exhausted and thin in those pictures yesterday, her Sexay Vadge of Doom That Will Not Be Denied (SVoDTWNBD) is sucking the life out of her in the vain pursuit of the frightened doe, Johnny.
Run, Johnny! Quick, behind Vanessa’s plaid shirt!
oh, please, its so funny how johnny boy has been whitewash… remember the days when he used to trash hotel rooms in a drug haze with cokate
I think we talk a little too much about AJs “vadge.” Never fails to make me laugh tho.
Okay,too funny! 😀 😀 😀
that “Uh… where are my bodyguards?!?” pic of Johnnys face makes me LOL!!!
LMAO @ snowball’s “SVoDTWNBD”
He looks like he has seen the devil!
*deep booming voice*
VADGE OOOOFFF DOOOOOOOOOOMM!
Oh gawd I needed that laugh today!
ha ha these photos are funny but i don’t buy any of the angelina stories.
LOL at the fear (?) in his eyes in the second picture. What on earth were they doing that caused him to make that face?
@bite me – I was thinking the same thing. It’s hilarious that they’re trying to portray one of Hollywood’s former bad boys as this shy, innocent who is terrified of Angie’s wicked ways.
I wonder if there is an actual source feeding the Star this silliness, or if the editors of Star just did some creative writing of their own.
Is there something that isn’t OF DOOM in Brangelina household? I mean her death stare, gebrils, vadge … No wonder she needs to do so much charity work to compensate that!
This thread is making me laugh!!! thank you … I needed a good laugh.. this story is so ridiculous!!! LOL!
Why does he look like crap in these pictures? I’m a little afraid he always looked this way and I was just distracted by the unwashed hair.
This is all so hilarious.
I give it another week or two before the other headlines start: “Brad and Vanessa Comforting Each Other as Angie and Johnny’s Animal Attraction Cannot Be Denied” or something along those lines.
On a side note, I’m liking the cream colored costume less, but do love the salmon colored sash.
hahaha not possible. I totally know that Johny prefers pretty bodies.
Vadge of Doom! LOL!
Man, these stories get more and more creative each day.
and snowball…BRILLIANT.
I resent the vadge of doom. I have long kept the plaque from college which was presented on my door, one fateful night of obviously sleeping with another girl’s boyfriend. It reads “Within lies the Succubus of DOOOOOM, and she’s not limited to males.”
I found it hilarious! Maybe I should send one to the sent and have some kindly staffers place it on her trailer door.
She likes it when they try to resist.
Heh…futile male mortal.
The stronger the fight, the sweeter the bite.
I think this MAY be kinda true ONLY BECAUSE he’s trying to avoid a lot of behind-the-scenes pics that could/would be misinterpreted or used as tabloid covers…like, IDK, the MR. & MRS. SMITH pics from not-too-long ago.
Keep her piece at 40 paces to keep his peace at home.
Not sure Im buying this but then I remember all the ‘rumors’ going around when she was w/Brad making Mrs. Smith.
As silly as they all were, turns out there was some truth to them and now look. I wouldnt put anything past AJ, I think she needs to seduce taken men for her self-worth but who knows, at least the stories are entertaining.
Okay I dont know about any of you ladies, but this vaj would be doing the same exact thing!!!! Go Angie! I would be sexually harassing and violating Johnny Depp until he punched me in the face. Which he wouldn’t, because he wouldn’t resist this vaj =D
Star Mag has no imagination whatsoever – this story is interchangeable with a new one for Maniston… Star is saying the same about the fraud and Butler how Butler is pitying the serial dumpee… I guess if you believe one, one must believe the other one… and apparently they used some of the same idiotic language in both stories… rags only good for bird cage lining!
::giggles::
LOL I think Vadge is such a crass word and for shame using it in reference to Angelina.
Nothing is going on between them.
I just don’t see it. They will never have the time and I really do think their hearts are very content with the people they are with. Angie’s kids are on set often. Brad and Angie have been doing something with them every other day…its just not going to happen. However doesn’t mean they won’t have amazing chemistry as well as messy S.E.X ON SCREEN. Which is perfect.
Is he supposed to look like a vagabond? If so, he has succeeded. I’m sorry, but I’m having trouble buying these stories.
I can totally believe Angelina is flirting with Johnny, it’s probably her way of taking control, men are her puppets! I don’t think Vanessa has anything to worry about, he truly loves her.
I think this will turn out to be one of those wierd mis-casting situations and they will have no chemistry whatsoever onscreen. It might have looked good on paper, but I don’t think the sparks will be flying between those two. Maybe it’s because Johnny Depp doesn’t look his usual sexy self in those pics, but sometimes two hot actors cancel each other out for some wierd reason.
Her vadge only spelled doom for the hotness that was once Brad Pitt.
Star magazine, the tabloid that claimed they were rehearsing over red wine despite the fact that JD said they hadn’t met yet. Oh yeah I believe it .AJ is trying to seduce JD and has a crush on Vanessa according to NE
I don’t care for either of them, and I understand the captions are made up (and hilarious), but these pictures make me really want to see this movie when it comes out.
Sd: Be honest, you brought up Jen in a thread that literally has nothing to do with her just because there aren’t any posts about her today and you just wanted to type “Maniston” and say something, anything negative about her.
Watch out Kaiser, your biggest Brange supporter might be turning on you-for using VADGE. ANGELINA HAS A VADGE. VADGEITY VADGE VADGE.
Ugh – I know that story was written for entertainment, but when they describe A.J.’s alleged moves on Johnny, I’m reminded of someone I actually know. And – MAN – I don’t like that b!tch at all.
Just yesterday I posted that I thought you AJ Insulters were ignorant, insecure and jealous. However, if this story were true – I would probably not be such a fan anymore either. It just would bother me because he already has a family – and so does SHE! Also, I need to believe that Depp is this sweet, humble, and devoted partner that he’s been made out to be. (Don’t burst my bubble you two!)
ITA with the other mel –
I guess because these scenes are so innocuous, and they’ve BOTH looked much better/sexier, but I personally see no heat whatsoever, from or between them (insert speculation on why here).
Maybe he can take a restraining order out only on her sugar walls of wonder (izzat better?).
Very funny!!! They don’t seem to ‘go together’ in these pictures. He is rocking the street bum vibe, and she looks like a prissy secretary. lol
I do LOVE those Venetian water taxis. I’m hoping for a fantastic chase scene in this movie.
Do you people read the Enquirer? She doesn’t want JD she wants Vanessa!!
Sick lesbian – who only goes for men to squash hollywood talk. But the truth is, she loves women more than men and much much much more than she even LIKES BRAD!!
Brad is an idiot to play her game – and am sure Johnny knows how sick she is playing straight and trying to be seductive so she can get into his good graces and then try to bang his wife – and HE AIN’T LETTING HER GET CLOSE!!
Good job Johnny – at least you have more sense that Brad!
Nothing is going on between them because Johnny is probably dogging her BIG TIME.
Bwahahahahahaha! Love it when you caption the pics Kaiser. This shit is too funny.
Johnny looks like a puffy Jim Morrison here- or did you guys already pick up on that? I haven’t ready yet- just took one look at the picture.
also the picture captions are epic. thank you for the laugh!
Of course Angie is making him uncomfortable! She comes on like a freight train — are we all forgetting about how she filmed her love scenes with Pitt and refused to wear the flesh colored bodysuit, instead going completely naked? Not exactly subtle, this one. Good for Johnny for having half a brain. Vanessa rocks, and Angie just looks like a praying mantis that has been drugged out for three months. Homegirl looks rough; she just isn’t sexy anymore.
The fan fic from the tabloids is hilarious. And pathetic.
And I agree, there doesn’t seem to be much chemistry between them and agree that this is probably a casting that sounded great on paper but isn’t panning quite how everyone imagined. I know it’s only a few pics and from awkward angles but I’m just not seeing it. Oh well.
Yeah, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that Johnny freakin’ Depp is well equipped to handle unwanted attention from females- the man has decades of experience dealing with this. Doubt he is hiding behind security guards, terrified of the big bad Angie.
Is it possible that she already sucked the hot out of Johnny? I hope he regains the hot at a later date. She better steer clear of my boy Benicio too. He needs his strength. For me… in case we meet. What? It could happen!!
I see Madelyn Rose loves her Us weekly which printed that story.Do you believe everything in the tabloids, luv? JD was bloated before filming began don’t blame that on AJ(smile)BTW Angie was attached to the film first if he had problem with her he wouldn’t have signed on. JD gets hundreds of scripts I’m sure
This is crap. There’s a blind vice on the Blind Gossip site that is obviously about the two of them. In essence it says that Johnny doesn’t shower regularly and Angie has a hard time being around him becuz of his b.o. As adorable as Johnny is, I have heard this from many people who have worked on his movies.
I guess the Star couldn’t find any pictures or any on-set sources to continue with their “Johnny and Angelina are totally getting together” so they changed it to “Johnny is totally resisting Angelina’s advances.” I mean, somebody had to write something about these two doing this movie.
Also, as someone else mentioned, I don’t understand why, all of a sudden, Johnny Depp, the hellraiser from a few years ago, is now the sweet, innocent man trying to avoid the love trap that is The Jolie. It’s hysterical! Johnny Depp did the exact same things Angelina did when they were young in Hollywood. Now, he’s the innocent and she’s still the she-devil. A real puzzle to me.
Oh yes, men don’t stand a chance. She seduced poor little Brad and stole him against his will and now she is doing the same to Johnny. Please. How moronic!
Hilarious story and I love your captions Kaiser- thanks for the Friday laugh! 😀
Johnny Depp has gained weight. His face looks heavy.
I think people keep forgetting that she has SIX kids at home and has been with the same partner for 5(?) years. She’s not some early 20’s starlet with a boyfriend every other week, she’s a mother with responsibility. Angie’s not stupid and would never hurt her kids or break up a stable marriage over a stupid fling with Johnny Depp.
Thanks for the chuckle. I needed it today.
Is it the octopussoir? Not surprising.
Eye Opener: Are you for real?
Angelina is a self-serving skenk. I don’t blame Johnny for steering clear. I used to think she was unique, independent, self-confident. Now I realize she’s just self-absorbed and needy.
I almost sprayed a mouthful of beer all over my laptop when I scrolled down and saw that second picture, the one where Depp is all “…dear God, why have I been left alone with the Vadge? SECURITY!”
Star is really reaching here, and I feel a little guilty for being so amused by it, because it’s really kind of awful and it can’t be pleasant for any of the people whose names are being bandied about.
Jolie’s role in the film is that of an extremely beautiful, elegant and mysterious woman. Depp plays a teacher touring Europe on a vacation that was supposed to be a honeymoon. He is supposed to appear physically the opposite of Jolie’s character, so that people who see them wonder why she’s with him.
@ Jocelina, Ha! I am going to start calling her the Vadge from now on too!
A day or so after these photos the movie shut down because there where to many fans and paps. The security couldn’t control the situation. There are all sorts of political problems in Italy right now, and people are hating Americans. I would be nervous too sitting out exposed in that situation. I read somewhere that Vanessa and Johnny are not the perfect happy couple. Angie probably is afraid if they split, She will get the blame. To bad they can’t just make a movie and do their jobs.
what’s wrong with you bert?? Johnny and Vanessa are the happiest couple ever! Get over it!
hahahaha. Angelina already has the hottest dude on the planet. Why would she want Johnny Depp? They don’t look good together at all.
Watch out Johnny!
She needs some more chirruns, and you ARE kinda cute!
I hope Tim drops the whole thing….
big loser in the works here!
I think there is chemistry between Johnny and Angelina Jolie. Johnny gained a little weight big deal he can lose nit and that does not overshadow the fact that he is a creative genius that chooses unusual roles and he has experienced in life similar things that Angelina Jolie has. The rumors this week are Jolie is flirting like hell with Johnny but he is resisting and I hear there is chemistry and as for Brad Pitt,these days he looks like an old ugly man with that beard while Johnny Depp remains the sexiest man alive. The fact is Jolie is far more beautiful for a jerky guy like Brad Pitt and she is intellectual and Johnny is her type of man. He is unique, handsome and sexy and woman love him . I wonder when Brad Pitt is ever going to take that ski cap off and as for the young Jolie she will find Brad Pitt boring and they will eventually split when you least expect it. I don’t buy in to the kids thing or the lovey dovey pictures of them sucking face when they are so private. It’s a career damage control publicity stunt and just because you have kids does not mean you don’t divorce. That is ridiculous. Angelina Jolie can do so much better than Brad Pitt and Johnny is not available. Jolie is so much more intellectual than Brad Pitt . I have seen her in interviews and it’s too bad because after the lovin is gone what is left is what you got. I mean hasn’t anyone really looked at how Brad Pitt has aged significantly in the 5 years since his divorce . My bet is Pitt and Jolie will split and I can’t wait until The Tourist comes out to see sexy Johnny Depp and Jolie in those steaming sexy love scenes. Johnny is hot hot hot ! Ouch! I’m burning a fever.
To Michelle and all the other narrow minded idiots that think just because she has 6 kids at home means she is not going to be who she really is. B.S. You forget that she and he are also multimillionaires that can afford as many people as they need to watch their kids. I means didn’t Angie say she was going to be a stay at home mom about 10 movies ago? Jolie will never give up being an actress or flirting with her leading men;however she will get bored of Brad Pitt and since they have the money go to the attorney’s and figure out custody and all that other crap that poorer people go through. what does 6 kids have to do with anything if your filthy rich, beautiful and soooo unhappy as she and Brad Pitt fake it for the dummies. My bet is they will split in due time.
HEY, SHUT UP ! YOUR MOUTH IS FULL OF SHIT. MOVE ON LEAVE THEM ALONE BITCHES
first of all, Johnny will never, ever, ever gonna leave Vanessa.. Second, Angelina is not worthy, not even for brad pitt.. so.. team johnny and vanessa forever! 🙂