New Statesman not only published a major cover story this week about the “crumbling” House of Windsor. They also published a piece called “On the hunt for Prince Andrew; Outside Sandringham, the British press had scented blood.” A reporter basically went to Norfolk and chatted with the photographers and videographers who were staking out Sandringham, specifically Wood Farm, which is where Andrew was arrested and where he returned following his arrest. This piece is certainly enlightening about how royal photographers feel about the people within the crumbling House of Windsor, which several photogs saying some hilarious harsh things about the royals. Some highlights:

The now-famous shot of Andrew in the backseat of his Range Rover: The previous day, the circus had been buoyed by the chance of catching Andrew returning from the police station after he was detained for 11 hours on suspicion of misconduct in public office. (Andrew has denied any wrongdoing.) But the ex-prince foiled them by taking the back entrance to the farm. It was Phil Noble from Reuters who got the shot of him lying down in the back of a car. The photographers were discussing it enviously. “It’s so sharp,” one said. “Don’t know how he got that – just luck. Perfectly dishevelled.” He admired how alarming Phil had made Andrew look. “They could have easily edited out the red eye, but they didn’t.”

Swapping stories about the royals: The seasoned royal photographers were sheltering under the trees by St Peter’s, the neighbouring church. They were swapping war stories about the royals. They didn’t seem to like any of them. William was the rudest of the lot, apparently. “Horrible. Arrogant. C**t,” one said. “Always tells me to f–k off.” The King was a bit more forgiving. “Charles will give me a bollocking and then shake my hand the next day.” They all missed Diana. “She played the game, didn’t she?”

The other royals: Much more irritating than William were the royals who didn’t even make for good photos. Zara Tindall, Princess Anne’s daughter, always shouted at them, chasing them off racecourses and demanding they put away their cameras away. Funny thing was, papers didn’t even want pictures of her. “Flipping Zara, I can’t give her away.”

How the photographers feel about royal reporters: They can’t stand the way the royal correspondents suck up to the Windsors. “You look at what the Mail writes and you want to vomit,” one said. It’s not as if those journalists actually like the royal family. “They’re all sycophant, sycophant, sycophant on air, and then off air, ‘Tw-t, tw-t, tw-t.’”

Andrew’s eventual move to March Farm? Wood Farm is only a temporary hideout for Andrew. He is staying there while the King pays for renovations at Marsh Farm, a more ramshackle property a few hundred metres away, where Andrew was due to live out his years of ignominy. I walked down the dirt road to see his future home. It was all uneven red brick, surrounded by outbuildings and empty stables. Crocuses and daffodils had bloomed in the garden. The house had two living rooms and five bedrooms. (Royal Lodge, the prince’s former home in Windsor, has 30).

[From New Statesman]

William is the rudest? Big surprise. I remember that video, a few years ago maybe, of William aggressively getting in a photographer’s face as Kate encouraged him and wound him up. And yes, I believe most people who encounter William think he’s an arrogant C-U-Next-Tuesday. That’s the way he comes across normally, I can’t imagine what he’s like when he’s not “performing.” And the slam on Zara Tindall is f–king hilarious. And yes, I totally believe that royal reporters are two-faced monsters, spewing the palace’s line while privately describing all of them as “tw-ts.”

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.