Last Friday, we heard about yet another incident of Lindsay Lohan being a f-cking mess out and about in LA. Much like the cactus incident just days before, Lindsay busted her ass because she was wasted. Only Lindsay can’t say that she was really wasted, because it always has to be someone’s fault. With both the cactus incident and the April Fools incident, Lindsay blamed the paparazzi for “pushing” her. Note: there was video of both incidents, and although the paparazzi are crowding her, they aren’t touching her. But that didn’t stop Lindsay from getting on her Twitter and raging about… something.

From what I could understand of Lindsay’s crack ramblings, it seems as if she’s blaming the paparazzi for not only “pushing” her, but also for paying off bouncers to refuse her entrance. Now, there has been a rash of various clubs and parties refusing Lindsay entry lately. It started a few weeks ago when Lindsay tried to bust into a private party and the bouncers made her wait fifteen minutes while the paparazzi captured her crack face getting madder and madder. In the past week and a half, Lindsay has been denied entry to several other clubs and events too, and the paparazzi are always there to capture it.

So, does Lindsay’s cracked out conspiracy theory make sense? Are the paparazzi paying people off so that they can get better shots of Lindsay standing around, falling down, rubbing her firecrotch on innocent cacti, throwing cocaine on her shoes, looking pissy and glazed, and being a general milkaholic? Not to sound nasty, but I don’t think the paparazzi have to pay people to get those shots. A source noted to Page Six over the weekend that with the incident last Thursday/Friday when Lindsay was denied entrance to Voyeur, “She is so out of control, nobody wants her to do their club appearances because she’s such a liability.” Gawker agrees with my assessment: “If the bouncer colluded with the paps, why aren’t the pictures better? You’d think they’d have staged a better angle or something, because the ones of her falling down are far zanier. Conclusion: If the paparazzi paid off Voyeur’s bouncer, they’re idiots, because bribes aren’t necessary for wacky LiLo pics. She provides them on her own, for free, all the time.”

Meanwhile, let’s hear the last word from Mother Delusion herself, Dina Lohan. Dina went to Radar to give an “exclusive statement” about whether her daughter’s ass is so broke she can’t even pay her rent. Dina of course calls that report a “total lie” and claims: “It’s unfortunate that our local news channel would put something out there to the public that is totally false. That Lindsay would not be paying her rent is a total lie.” I’m surprised Dina didn’t mention any of the following words: child, innocent, milkaholism, or lawsuit. Dina needs her f-cking head examined.

Screencap of Lohan’s crack tweets, courtesy of her Twitter.
http://twitter.com/LIndsayLohan