Michelle Obama has spoken about impostor syndrome for years. For the kids, “impostor syndrome” is feeling like you’re a fraud or unprepared or not elite/smart/rich enough for a certain space or meeting or group. Michelle has often spoken about her own fears that she was an impostor in certain situations, especially in her career and her time in the White House. Well, Michelle has a message for women and people of color: white dudes never have impostor syndrome.

White men do not have to worry about impostor syndrome, according to Michelle Obama, who said she had sat “at every powerful table there is” and not found one who admitted feeling such self-doubt. The former US first lady told SXSW London that she wanted to “demystify” what it was like to sit in elite meetings, which she said were often populated by people from diverse backgrounds who felt like outsiders.

“There’s so many people like me, like you: women, minorities, folks who aren’t supposed to be at these tables … they are sitting around thinking that they’re impostors,” she said. “I’ve never heard a white man talk about impostor syndrome. I haven’t met one.”

The former first lady was participating in a live recording of the IMO podcast she hosts with her brother, Craig Robinson, which has been a key part of her reinvention after her family’s time in political office.

In a wide-ranging discussion, Obama gave her views on “helicopter parenting” where carers are overcontrolling and domineering, which she said was affecting children negatively because it showed they did not have the confidence of their parents.

Obama said her parents made her and Robinson take “responsibility for their lives” from the age of five, insisting that they used an alarm clock to wake themselves up for school. She said many parents today were too controlling over the experiences their children had and refused to be there as “counsel but not intervention”, as her parents were.

Obama said: “If we helicopter [parent] a bit too much; if we’re trying too hard to prevent our kids from failing or fear, you’re kind of signalling to them that ‘you can’t do this without me’. Our parents were like: ‘No, you can do this.’ This is just life, and everybody does it, and you’re pretty smart kids. So you’ll figure it out. Everyone is trying to curate their kids’ experiences. Our parents did not feel like our lives were theirs to manage or make better. We had food on the table, but they weren’t riding on our highs and lows.”

[From The Guardian]

She’s 100% accurate about impostor syndrome AND helicopter parenting. I really feel like women especially should assume the confidence of white men in professional settings. Because look at what the white dudes are doing when they’re in charge! In recent years, we’ve been watching the most incompetent buffoons ruin every single thing because of their arrogance, stupidity and utter unfitness. As for helicopter parenting… God, someone needed to say that. Stop curating your children’s lives! Stop stage-managing every single thing about your kid’s life. You are stressing out your kids because you’re so involved in their lives. Let kids explore and fail and figure out some stuff on their own.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.