In the very same newscycle where a new emotional support poll showed a drastic reduction in support for the British monarchy, several columnists have written completely unhinged pieces about Prince Harry and Meghan’s likely July visit to the UK. At some level, I wish the British commentary class would simply be honest about the “game” they’re playing. They’re all absolutely thrilled that the Sussex family will visit the UK. It’s the most exciting thing to happen to royalists in years and years. These are the same people who spent six whole months obsessing over whether Meghan would go to the coronation (she didn’t). These are the same people who have screamed and cried for six-plus years that Meghan needs to apologize for… being racially abused by them and the Windsors. The last time Meghan was in the UK, the Daily Mail published a detailed map of her movements, and they harassed her 24-7 after QEII died. So just admit it, Maureen Callahan – you’re pleased as punch that Meghan will visit. Alas, Callahan barfed out a column about how the “gruesome twosome” are not welcome in the UK, and how the Sussexes are just going to USE the royals to promote Brand Sussex. These people cannot be helped.

Are Harry and Meghan truly attempting a homecoming? According to multiple reports, the Gruesome Twosome will travel to the UK — with their children — for a visit in July. Amazing, really, considering that Harry has been banging on for years about how unsafe his home country is for his wife — to say nothing of his endless court battles over taxpayer-funded security.

…Apparently, things have changed. What those things are, however, remains a mystery. Reports that King Charles has agreed to fund security for the Sussexes are untrue, says the Daily Mail’s Rebecca English. She also reports that Harry, Meghan and the children are said to have been offered royal accommodations, but that the Sussexes have not yet responded to that offer — though a meeting with the King just may happen. No William, notably. Just Charles.

What could possibly have precipitated this about-face? And can one actually execute an about-face when they wear at least two faces, as Meghan and Harry seem to? One face is prideful and speaks of rising above the British Royal Family, living their best lives free in Montecito, able to mope about at various professional sports outings and meaningless award ceremonies. The other is angry, vengeful, speaking of resentment and grudges while spilling all manner of royal secrets in books, Netflix documentaries, podcasts and interviews. Which of these faces will Harry and Meghan wear as they crawl back to the UK?

Do they understand that they are unwanted? Doubtful. Self-awareness is not among Harry and Meghan’s defining traits.

…As for Meghan: This is a woman who seemed shocked that she and Harry were heartily booed one of the last times they set foot in the UK together. Her disdain for the UK and the British Royal Family is well-documented. Omid Scobie, her lapdog, claimed in his book Endgame that Meghan never felt at home in the UK and ‘never wants to set foot in England again.’ It’s ostensible contradictions like these that really damage a person’s authenticity. A brand’s authenticity.

Here’s what I think is going on: Meghan is staring down what’s become known as her own jar-mageddon. She’s sitting on mounds of unsold As Ever jarred jams, tea bags and flower sprinkles — perishables that have a literal shelf life. If Meghan can’t move this merch, she will reportedly take a $5 million-plus loss.

She also got a bracing look at her reputational damage, at the widespread antipathy she’s generated, when she arrived in a public plaza in Geneva to give a speech outside the United Nations headquarters last month. Barricades had been set up to control a vast crowd — who apparently had much better things to do, such as laundry and scrubbing the tub. For our Duchess of Endless Despair reportedly found herself lecturing a mere gaggle of stragglers and rubberneckers about the dangers social media poses to children — mere hours after posting a photo of her daughter Lili (back to the camera, but nonetheless) to Instagram.

The offers have dried up. The big money is no longer coming in. Harry, sans Meghan, was relegated to the eighth row while Timothée Chalamet and Spike Lee sat courtside during Game 5 of the NBA Finals — and no one cared.

Call me cynical, but it would be hard to believe the real purpose of this trip is heartfelt reconciliation — and not about filling the coffers, catching some of that royal stardust, and gathering intel to share with Oprah, Netflix and whoever else cares to hear it. And that’s an audience dwindling to zero.

[From The Daily Mail]

“Catching some of that royal stardust…” Is the royal stardust in the room with us now? Because the struggle-Trooping made news for the protests, the royal glares and the sparse crowds. As I said, one of the big stories of the week is the plummeting British support for the left-behinds. The heir is currently rocking in a padded cell and having a breakdown over his father wanting to see his grandkids. The queen consort is constantly half-in-the bag. Harry and Meghan ARE the royal stardust, and the left-behinds are desperate to attach themselves and get some of that sparkle. And if Harry and Meghan truly were “unwanted,” then Daily Mail columnists wouldn’t be howling 24-7, trying to create increasingly asinine conspiracies about them.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.