Prince George’s 13th birthday falls on July 22. Since it’s one of the big birthdays (the start of the future king’s teenage years), Kensington Palace apparently authorized several big birthday stories to mark the occasion. What’s funny is that they’re already embiggening this child the same way they do for his parents. We’re like one year away from hearing that George is also a keen and credible Early-Years expert and that he’s an emerging global statesman, just like his father. This is the treatment given to the heirs. I’m not mocking George at all – we literally know nothing about this kid, which is why I wonder why his parents authorized all of these birthday pieces. According to the Sun, George is both hyper-aware of his position but he doesn’t think about it at all, and he’s super-athletic, constantly playing football and hockey, in between competitive swimming and completing triathlons at a national level. Good lord.

George isn’t thinking about being a future-king: All that couldn’t be further from his mind. A family friend tells me: “He may be as tall as his mum, but George is quite a self-conscious and awkward teen. He’s not an extrovert or a show-off. In fact, he’s quite a sensitive soul who’s very into conservation, like his father and grandfather, and music. Behind closed doors, he’s like any other teen, but in public he takes it all very seriously.”

George’s birthday party: The Prince and Princess are known to take a very hands-on approach at parties – fellow parents have been gently amused to see them organising games of rounders and cricket themselves, instead of leaving it to the nannies and retreating inside with a glass of wine. Football-mad George (who supports Aston Villa, like his father) has no doubt enjoyed the FIFA World Cup matches, and previous birthday parties have been football-themed. As for presents, there’ll possibly be the new Villa strip, a guitar or hockey stick, given he takes after his mum by being fairly ferocious on the hockey pitch.

George is aware of his future-king role: The family friend says: “George is very aware of who he is, and that has made him extremely cautious with friendships. You have to feel for him really, it’s a very difficult thing to know you will be the future King of England. He hasn’t faced up to the enormity of his future, but he does take his position seriously.”

Why George will go to Eton: Royal biographer Ingrid Seward says: “Leaving his prep school was a wrench, but one of the reasons George wants to go to Eton is because several of his friends are going. William was a little reticent, as he didn’t want to appear elitist, but George has been protected for much of his childhood. That can continue at Eton from a security point of view, which is now more important than ever. Going there also allows him to still be close to his family – it will be the first time he’s been apart from them, particularly his siblings. But he’ll still be able to spend time with his grandfather at Windsor, in the same way that William did with Queen Elizabeth, to have first-hand experience of what it’s really like to be King.”

Why the Waleses announced Eton so late: The timing of the announcement earlier this month was entirely up to the Prince and Princess. Although the decision had been made some time ago, they wanted to wait until George had sat his final entrance exams and deter any last-minute applications from royal hangers-on.

George competes in triathlons?? [The kids] compete in their school sports teams (George is apparently a talented swimmer and football player, and competes in triathlons at national level), perform in end-of-year drama shows and are treated the same as other pupils. Eagle-eyed royalists may be able to spot the back of one of the royal children in an outdoor lesson, meeting the Lambrook school tortoise Larry, or competing in skiing competitions on their school’s website (ski goggles and helmets are useful disguises). But in the main, their Berkshire prep school has given them an anonymous and extremely privileged education.

Kate & the kids faced down anti-monarchy protests: At this year’s Trooping the Colour, Kate and the children were booed as they rode to and from Buckingham Palace in a horse-drawn landau carriage. The pressure group Republic noisily protests at most royal occasions, and their yellow placards stating “Not My King” are now a familiar sight. The group were mandated by the Metropolitan Police to stand in a certain contained area of the Mall, and it was notable that the Princess of Wales fixed the group with an icy stare as she passed. She is more steely than appearances may suggest, and certainly will have been less than pleased that her young children were subjected to that, freedom of expression notwithstanding.

[From The Sun]

Deterring last-minute royal hangers-on… at Eton? One of the most elite schools in the world, which educates princes, lords and future world leaders? The same Eton where the entrance exams are a three-year process? A certain bewigletted Wisteria Sister is certainly telling on herself – she wants George to be spared the exact move she made to “snag” William at St. Andrews. The part about Kate’s icy glare at Trooping is funny too, especially in George’s big birthday profile. Oh no, the future king had to witness his future subjects protesting the crown!

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Kensington Palace, Cover Images.