Tom Brady retired from professional football about three and a half years ago. He retired soon after Gisele Bundchen divorced him for NOT retiring when he said he would. I’ve often wondered if Tom had a completely different idea of what his post-NFL life would look like, with Gisele by his side and their kids growing up. Now he’s one of the most divorced men in the world, and Gisele has remarried and started a new family. Tom has spent the past four years dating random (and much younger) models and influencers and trying to remain culturally relevant. Too harsh? Like, I think Tom IS relevant – he’s rich, he could have pretty much any commentary job he wanted, he has a buffet of beautiful women who would love to marry him and/or use him as a professional stepping stone. So why is Tom so weird these days? I don’t know, but Tom is currently hitting a new low. Right now, Tom is staging a beef with WWE wrestler Logan Paul. Tom “slapped” Logan at an event last week, and he seemingly wants to try his hand at WWE. Well, even Dave Portnoy thinks Tom is pretty lame these days.
Dave Portnoy called out Tom Brady for being “cringey” and “lame” in a scathing “Wake Up Barstool” rant. The Barstool Sports creator told listeners on Monday that “what is happening with Tom Brady post-retirement is one of the great downfalls of an icon.”
He specifically mentioned the ex-NFL player, 48, recently “chopping it up with Logan Paul,” referencing Brady’s staged feud with the WWE wrestler at Michael Rubin’s Fanatics Fest in New York City. Not only did Brady make headlines for slapping the 31-year-old onstage at the Javits Center, but he also gave Paul the bird in a video from the FIFA World Cup Final 2026.
“[This is] a legacy that is being lame-ified,” Portnoy said of the viral moments. “You don’t want to see him mixed up in lowbrow TikTok flag football leagues in Saudi Arabia or whatever it is. Everything about him is cringey right now to me.”
He agreed with Brandon Walker likening Brady to Haliey Welch, the “Hawk Tuah” girl who went viral in 2024. Walker explained, “He has become somebody who looks like he is trying to get to a spotlight, trying to get attention … and Tom Brady shouldn’t have to do things designed for your entertainment.”
Portnoy specifically hit out at Brady’s pal Michael Rubin, alleging that the Fanatics CEO can “lame-ify the coolest guys in the world.”
Noting that the former quarterback is the same “level star” as Michael Jordan, Lionel Messi, Wayne Gretzky and David Beckham, Portnoy insisted Brady “should be above the fray — not Michael Rubin’s puppet.”
Portnoy, similarly, tweeted on Sunday, “Can somebody please shake Tom Brady and tell him to get as far away from Michael Rubin as possible and stop lame-ifying his entire legacy.”
He also wrote that he is “glad” he doesn’t have to “pretend this isn’t lame” since Brady has distanced himself from the New England Patriots, a team Portnoy is a diehard fan of. Brady’s rep did not immediately respond to Page Six’s request for comment.
I’m not any kind of Dave Portnoy fan, but a broken clock, etc. Tom is trying to be “cool” for people who engage with whatever Logan Paul has to offer. Tom is trying to convince people that he’s partying with 20-something influencers. It’s not just “lame,” it’s undignified for a man his age. It reeks of desperation. This is part of a larger conversation about American men and modern celebrity too – many of these guys really need to start asking themselves “what would Harrison Ford/Paul Newman/Robert Redford do?” Would Redford fake a beef with a cheeseball WWE guy? Would Harrison Ford do lame personal appearances just for a drop-in-the-bucket paycheck?
Photos courtesy of Cover Images.
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- Tom Brady at Disney Fan Draft at Center Stage during day 1 of Fanatics Fest NYC on July 16, 2026 at Javits Center in New York City. Featuring: Tom Brady Where: New York City, New York, United States When: 16 Jul 2026 Credit: mpi099/MediaPunch/INSTARimages
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- Tom Brady at Disney Fan Draft at Center Stage during day 1 of Fanatics Fest NYC on July 16, 2026 at Javits Center in New York City. Featuring: Tom Brady Where: New York City, New York, United States When: 16 Jul 2026 Credit: mpi099/MediaPunch/INSTARimages
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- Fanatics Fest day 2 at Javits Center Featuring: Tom Brady Where: New York, New York, United States When: 17 Jul 2026 Credit: Janet Mayer/INSTARimages.com
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- Fanatics Fest day 2 at Javits Center Featuring: Tom Brady Where: New York, New York, United States When: 17 Jul 2026 Credit: Janet Mayer/INSTARimages.com
31 Responses to “Dave Portnoy: Everything about Tom Brady is lame & cringe-y right now”
Tom is lame and pretty awful. David Portnoy is the worst. Tom seems bored and wants to be the star quarterback again. A lot of people don’t deal well with retirement.
It goes beyond that at this point.😯
Whether it’s partying with influencers, facial tweaks and now staging fights with Logan Paul, point to signs of Brady having some sort of breakdown once he hits 50!!
I mean these are post-retirement antics I would expect of Tiger Woods, and Brady would be more Derek Jeter.
#whowouldhavethunk
All of it is cringe. But Tom wasn’t ever really NOT cringe. Even as a football star. He was a star athlete, sure. But he was still cringe and a dork. And Portnoy got a lot of nerve for someone who stands on his tippy toes to take pictures with taller men.
Man, Giselle really left him broken. And I say that with complete respect for Giselle. Not that that was her goal. But she was plainly propping him up the whole time, and raising his kids too, including one from a previous relationship. I’m so team Giselle.
Yeah, it’s pretty clear how much Giselle propped him up and kept him “steady”. Honestly, she was probably exhausted from raising a man-child and his poor decision to return to football was just the last straw.
Yikes to whatever he did to his face, too! Glad Gisele is out there living her best life.
That upper lip!! Yikes!
I think he is just sucking his bottom lip in that pic, like a 5th grade boy whose friend just said a bad word in class. But his face in general is weirdly pulled like even he feels such societal pressure to look young and manly and to perform masculinity like this. Or maybe as others say, he’s just a giant man baby and always has been. Regardless, please dont ever make me agree with human dumpster Dave Portnoy. Maybe try pickleball and learn to love yourself for the personality-free rizz vacuum that you are?
He’s been wandering around for awhile now with what looks like a chin implant or, at the very least, filler in his jawline and chin to give him that elongated, square shape to the lower half of his face.
He’s so awkward.
I think focusing on football and being the best at it for most of his life left very little room for him to develop any other part of his personality and he’s lost and listening to people who want to use him (Michael Rubin as a friend says it all.) Plus he is trying to play catch-up with the partying he missed while focusing on his career — and he doesn’t know social boundaries, as I suspect Giselle reined him in on his worst impulses in that arena. She would have NEVER allowed him to get involved in any of this slapping Logan Paul, etc. stuff.
Brady has always been lame and cringey. Always. Being the star Patriots QB and married to a legit supermodel might have created the illusion of cool but he has always been a clown with no charisma.
Yikes. What did he do to his face?
He got good work done in his 20’s, he should have stopped with a little touch up in his early 40’s. That lip flip is something. I always thought he looked like a handsome Frankenstein. From losing Giselle to posing in his underwear to all his recent decisions he’s so cringey.
What grinds my gears is Tom is part owner of a team but is still a commentator who gets access to other teams. It’s like insider trading. He should have been forced to give up his gig on Fox. I for one would appreciate not having to listen to him or see him on a weekly basis anymore.
That’s such a good point and why is that always overlooked?
On the football field, Tom is the GOAT.
Everywhere else, Tom has always been cringe and dumb.
Anyone who lives in Massachusetts knows that Portnoy is one of the biggest pieces of shit to ever come out of our state. I mean truly, the man is beyond vile. He can’t even pronounce the names of the pizza places he chooses to visit and don’t even get me started on his “floppy crust” bullshit. The best thing that has even happened to that guy was Charlie Redd of Dragon Pizza in Somerville tearing him a new asshole.
I honestly don’t GAF what he has to say about Tom Brady. Brady has contributed more to the state of Massachusetts than that asshat ever has.
Yes, Tom Brady is cringey and has that fake Tom Cruise very polite but nothing behind the eyes vibe going on. AND Dave Portnoy is creepy and caters to the very toxic male culture. I once made a benign comment on a Barstool post and had incels coming after me like I just ran over their dog.
He’s looksmaxxing now?
Tom Brady got hit with the “attractive squidward” door. Yikes!
What’s going on with Brady?😕😕😕
We’ve had the ‘nut’ branding.
But this fake match with Logan Paul is brand devaluation to the nth degree.
I just see him commentating. I had no idea about him dating young influencers.
He has always seemed like a workaholic to me, so I simply thought he was struggling with that. Not so much the lack of glory, but the lack of…working.
He does have a lot of choices available to him though. So I figure with that many choices you’re bound to make a couple of dumb decisions.
I have never thought of any football player as being in the vein of Robert Redford or Paul Newman. None of them have aged with the glamor of an old time movie star. Some of them seem a bit better about not breaking a few records. In that sense, Tom Brady seems a bit more level-headed (despite blowing up his marriage).
*Sorry, I meant to say some football players seem a bit BITTER about not breaking a few records.
So many thoughts.
1. That face is ‘toxed to the GAWDS. Holy heck.
2. Calling Logan Paul a wrestler is pretty generous. He’s a pest.
3. Agreeing with Portnoy is giving me the ick, but he is spot-on. TB is looking increasingly desperate. He should be the one everyone else is trying to woo, not the other way around.
4. He doesn’t even have to look at Hollywood legends to figure out his post retirement moves. Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson have already given him the blueprint.
I read a fascinating article in the New Yorker yesterday. It discusses the relatively new phenomenon of the inability of men to form meaningful relationships with other men. “ Men dont have friends anymore, they have wives that have friends that have husbands”. The number of men reporting loneliness has been on a steep incline for the last 2 decades.
I think Brady is the poster child for this new reality. The minute he lost Gisele he became completely unmoored and increasingly bizarre. Where are all his Dude-bro friends, the guys that he should have in his life to tell him when he’s behaving like an ass? If Tom Brady can’t form close connections with other men imagine how challenging it must be for the average Joe?
This might serve as an explanation for our present political isolation as well. Middle-aged lonely white men unfortunately run the world right now. And boy does it show
He did have a friend in Ben Affleck, but that influence wasn’t such a good one haha.
The divorced dad vibes are off the charts. So fragile
Yeah, Tom is spiraling. He probably wanted to stay in football for life because that was his identity, routine and safe place. Aging out has him acting the fool. There is nothing meaningful for him anymore. I saw his slap of Logan Paul. Really, Tom? Maybe he should start doing charity work or find a cause he believes in (not Trump-related, please). No pity for him whatsoever.
Although I’ve seen a few articles about Tom Brady dating celebrity X or whoever, I thought those romances were fake. I get the impression he likes being…partner-less.
He does seem a bit lost, but hasn’t he always been a bit cheesy when he’s not playing football? He’s the best version of himself when he’s on the field, but I vaguely remember a few Zoolander haircuts when he was married to Gisele. That outing with Ben Affleck’ and his nanny girlfriend didn’t exactly scream Robert Redford dignity either.
My only opinion about him is that he needs to stop fucking with his face. And I’m usually full of opinions.
CTE is a terrible thing.
Dave Portnoy has no excuse for his awfulness, though.
What a shock, they chose to take a dig at the hawk tuah girl. Women are only objects of ridicule or sex objects to Portnoy, and sometimes they can be both!
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