The British aristocracy and British old-money continue to behave as if they set the rules and they write the social code for everyone else. It’s like it never would occur to them that some people don’t care, and some people really couldn’t be bothered to play their asinine gatekeeping games. Well, the Sussex family has now moved to the Cotswolds, where they’re staying at a friend’s estate. They’re allegedly househunting or, rather, estate-hunting, since it’s believed that the Sussexes want a larger property for security and privacy reasons. The Cotswolds are arguably the most celebrity-friendly area of England – tons of actors and celebrities own homes in the area, and there’s been a nouveau-riche invasion in recent years. Well, the Telegraph has a big write-up about how Prince Harry and Meghan will need to “battle to be accepted into Cotswolds high society.”

The Sussexes “need” to get into The Club by Bamford. None of my sources have spotted Meghan here yet, but this is the place the Sussexes will really need to crack if they want to make it into a certain Cotswolds set. And it will be much trickier to enter this world than the celebrity enclave Soho Farmhouse, where the Duchess of Sussex was seen earlier this month, amid much speculation that the pair have decided to put down roots in the Cotswolds. A ready-made heaven of cream tones, The Club requires an annual fee of £4,000, a £1,650 joining fee and the approval of the committee to become a member. Member or not, Meghan should seek to impress its owner, Cotswolds power broker Lady Bamford. The Club is on the Daylesford Farm estate, along with its famous shop and Daylesford House itself, where Lady B, as she’s known to friends, lives with her husband, Lord Bamford – owner of JCB and donor to both the Tories and Reform. If Meghan wants to rise socially here, Carole Bamford is exactly who she needs. In the court of the Cotswolds, she is queen.

New money vs. old money: But there is a dividing line between new Cotswolds and old Cotswolds. While the Bamfords themselves are as respected, country-savvy and popular as you can get, the “new Cotswolds” set, who come to play at the weekend and splash the cash at places such as Daylesford, are more overtly glossy – bankers and hedgefunders rather than farmers and gentry – and are sometimes looked down upon by the people who see themselves as “real country”. Meghan will have to choose which group she wants to appeal to most.

Cotswolds people already hate Meghan: The challenge of becoming a member of the Daylesford scene won’t be the only uphill battle for Meghan as she seeks to become accepted in the Cotswolds. At a grand dinner party last Saturday night, one social friend conducted an experiment: “I sat next to these men and started talking about Meghan, and one almost left. He said, ‘If you say that word one more time…’ So it wasn’t only ‘We don’t want anything to do with her’, but ‘Do not degrade my house by bringing it up’. I think half of these people are friendly with the King, so it’s maybe in deference to him and the stuff they’ve been through.”

The Gloustocracy: To stand a chance, she’ll need to become au fait with the fault lines. Helen Kirwan-Taylor, writer, broadcaster and fellow American, who moved near Cirencester on the Gloucester side of the Cotswolds decades ago, is an expert. “The real snobbism is between the Gloustocracy and the Beckhams,” she says. Sir David and Lady Beckham have become shorthand for the Oxfordshire celebrity scene, which also includes Ellie Goulding and Simon Cowell. Some see the divide plainly as Gloucestershire vs Oxfordshire – “real country” vs a glamorous cosplay version for weekenders.

These people are anti-American: Meghan will have to get up to speed, fast. You can tell a phony a mile off, especially an American phony. For example, she mustn’t say “The Cotswolds” – a tourist term that proves you’ve never really been. Real locals refer to the exact town: Chipping Norton or Cirencester or Stroud. The deepest rooted identify themselves by which A-road they live near.

There are tons of Americans in the Cotswolds: The American and billionaire crowd are perhaps the most natural friends for Harry and Meghan. They’re two a penny here, and the new wave are incredibly wealthy. Sir Jony Ive, formerly chief designer at Apple, lives in the area, as does his Australian best friend, the industrial designer Marc Newson. Of course, there is Ellen DeGeneres and her wife, Portia de Rossi, who moved near Asthall on the Oxfordshire side. “She is very close to Meghan,” says a neighbour, “but I think Ellen and co are a bit isolated. It’s really hard to break into English society who just don’t care [about American celebrities]. They do entertain and tip outrageously, though.”

They’re desperate for Meghan to beg for access & acceptance: What Harry and Meghan will really need is invitations to the illustrious estates. Every town has a stately home owned by a grandee. Meghan should be prepared to do anything for the call up from Lady Bamford, the PR tycoon Matthew Freud and Sheherazade Goldsmith at Burford Priory or the Duke and Duchess of Beaufort at Badminton House. Freud, says the social insider, “is really taking over”. There is a popular padel scene at Burford, attended by film stars, captains of industry and politicians, which is often followed by a glamorous drinks party. Of all the stately homes, it seems like the most familiar territory for Meghan, with actresses and Democrats a-plenty.

[From The Telegraph]

Yeah, this is all about Meghan and trying to convince people that Meghan (especially) will need to beg and plead for invitations to all of the best clubs and most elite estates. And nothing in Meghan’s history has ever indicated that she wants access to these people or these spaces. Don’t get me wrong, Meghan has very elite friends and she’s welcome in very elite circles. But I guarantee that Meghan just wants to be left alone for the most part. She’ll socialize at Soho Farmhouse, she’ll befriend the parents of Archie and Lili’s school friends and that’s about it. These people have always fantasized about making Meghan grovel for their approval and I hope that Meghan steers clear of all of them.

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.