Two weekends ago, Piers Morgan injured himself in what was possibly an alcohol-related incident. He claimed that he “tripped on a small step” and from there, he fractured his femur and needed a new hip. The surgery has already happened and Piers is apparently back at home with his wife Celia Walden, who has a part-time job at the Telegraph, writing weirdly obsessive columns about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex. We’ve always assumed that Piers and Celia found each other because they’re both deeply disturbed individuals and birds of a feather, etc. That may be the case, but now that Piers is recovering from surgery and in need of constant assistance, Walden is apparently over it.

Piers Morgan’s wife Celia Walden has spoken out about his recovery since breaking his hip. The presenter, 60, fractured his femur earlier this month after tripping on a “small step” at the restaurant of a London hotel. He had a hip replacement and returned home last week with strict doctor’s orders to focus on a three-month recovery period and no long-haul flights. Walden – who married Morgan in 2010 – revealed she has since become his carer and appeared on This Morning on Wednesday to discuss how life has been with her “snappy” partner.

“A little stumble on the shallowest step that you could imagine. It’s amazing how the worst injuries are always the tiniest things, aren’t they?” she said. She continued: “So, yeah, he wasn’t drunk. And I want to make sure that everybody knows that. Because the messages coming in are just constant kind of, ‘long lunch, was it?’ And I was like, ‘no, it was a coffee!’ But he didn’t see it [the step]. Apparently, according to the surgeon, they said that if you just fall in that particular way on your side… anyway, he cracked his femur right across the neck and then had to have an emergency hip replacement.”

When asked how Morgan was coping as a patient, Walden joked: “I mean, what do you think? Let’s just say that the messages flooding in have predominantly been, ‘never mind him, how are you doing?’ Yeah, so it’s been a long, painful few days… for Piers, too. But he’s… I mean, it’s reached a stage where he’s got slightly snappy now because he’s very impatient. Of course, he can’t access the things he wants to and the snappier he gets with me, the more I turn into Kathy Bates from Misery.”

She joked: “I’ve started slightly moving the remote control out of reach and then leaving Love Island on TV. There are little ways that you can get your own back…”

Reflecting on the three-month recovery period, she added that it’s a “very long time” and joked that she’s finding any excuse to leave the house. “Anything to leave the house suddenly seems really appealing!” the writer quipped.

Walden also spoke about her experience providing round the clock care for Morgan in her latest Telegraph column: “I had wanted to be a selfless wife (Jennifer Connelly in A Beautiful Mind) and an endlessly tolerant nurse, but as the days have worn on and Piers’s snappiness has increased, my patience has worn thin.”

[From The Evening Standard]

Real talk though, while I can’t stand either of these people, I don’t blame Walden for not giving a sh-t about being a caretaker. Some people simply aren’t built for it. The vows are “in sickness and in health” but many, many people don’t want to stick around for the sickness part, especially when you married a bloviating fool who has obsessively stalked another woman for a decade. “Get it yourself, jackass” would become a mantra for me. Of course, I would never marry Piers. You get what you pay for, on both sides of this equation.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Piers’ social media, Cover Images.