Last September, the Duchess of Kent passed away, and the Windsors gathered for something few (if any) of them had ever attended before: a requiem mass at a Catholic church. This was technically a family event, which meant Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson were invited by the Kents. Apparently, Andrew and Fergie were seated right behind the Prince and Princess of Wales. There were no cameras inside the church, but there were plenty of photographers outside the church, documenting what happened as all of the royals waited for their cars. Prince Andrew first lurked in between William and Kate, then he moved up so he was standing next to William. The two men shared a few words and William even cracked something close to a smile. Of course, William’s press allies dutifully parroted William’s furious version of events, which was that William was obviously and visibly enraged with Andrew and that William completely ignored Andrew and didn’t speak to him at all and how dare you suggest otherwise. For reference, here’s one of the videos of Andrew and William outside the church:

I always thought that it was one of the stupidest lies William tried to shove down people’s throats, that he was so clearly two seconds away from raging out on his uncle. That’s not what I see at all. Now, William doesn’t look pleased to be in Andrew’s presence, but then again, William rarely looks pleased with anything. He’s a profoundly grumpy, insolent man. But it wasn’t this clear standoff, and William’s PR desperately wanted people to avoid seeing the full video of William chatting with Andrew. Well, these videos have been making the rounds for months, and now some con artist masquerading as a lip reader has solved the case. The Curious Case of Rageholic Bill and His P3do Uncle.

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor issued a desperate plea to Prince William during a tense conversation at the Duchess of Kent’s funeral, a lip reader has claimed. Expert analysts have offered insights on a series of recent royal moments, including the gathering at Westminster Cathedral last September. All the senior royals were present, including Andrew and his ex-wife, Sarah Ferguson, who both came to pay tribute to the wife of his late mother’s cousin, who died aged 92. The former prince had a famously tense meeting with the Prince and Princess of Wales on the steps of the church after the service as they waited for their cars.

Now, in a Channel 5 TV series, forensic lip reader Nicola Hickling has claimed the ex-Duke of York used the moment to plead for his nephew’s forgiveness. Andrew apparently asks William, who was joined by his wife Kate: ‘I’ve learnt from what I’ve done but before I forget, and if I can, I’d like to ask you if you can forgive?’

Andrew’s apparently desperate plea came after he greeted the Prince and Princess of Wales at the funeral, saying: ‘Good afternoon, William and Catherine, how are you?’ Kate replies, ‘Good, thank you’, with lip reader Ms Hickling explaining: ‘At this point, William looks a little bit uneasy, before saying to Andrew, “What can I do for you?”‘

The former prince says, ‘We’re really closed in together’, before William gives what Ms Hickling called a ‘simple response’, of just, ‘Yes’.

According to the programme, after Andrew issues his plea, to which he gets no reply, and leaves the couple, Kate says: ‘He seemed very sorry.’ William replies, ‘Do you think I deserved that? Is that what you mean?’, before the princess repeats, ‘He seemed very sorry’.

[From The Daily Mail]

Yeah, this woman doesn’t know what she’s doing. Andrew wouldn’t stagger over to William outside a church and start talking about forgiveness. That’s not their body language either – Andrew doesn’t look like a man asking for forgiveness and William doesn’t look like a man ignoring a pleading uncle. The only thing Hickling possibly got right was William feeling sorry for himself and bitching out Kate over nothing.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.