March 2026 was a terrible month for Kristi Noem. Noem was unceremoniously dumped from her position as DHS secretary for the Trump administration after fourteen months of lies, infidelities, kidnappings and nonstop fiascos. Then, just weeks after she was fired, the Daily Mail printed photos of Kristi’s husband Bryon. As it turned out, while Kristi was running around, killing dogs, having affairs and kidnapping people, Bryon was sitting at home, chatting up fetish models and posting photos of himself cross-dressing. Well, months later, it looks like the Noem marriage is over.
Kristi Noem and her longtime husband Bryon are calling it quits, according to her mother … just months after claims surfaced about him cross-dressing and wearing fake boobs.
Kristi’s mom, Corinne Arnold, spoke to the Daily Mail at her home, which borders the estate where Kristi and Bryon lived and raised kids … and she told the outlet it’s been a difficult road for the pair — but the writing has been on the wall for a while now.
You may remember … in March, a few weeks after Kristi was removed from her position as the Department of Homeland Security head, the Daily Mail published a story in which they said Bryon snapped photos of himself wearing oversized fake boobs and chatted with adult performers in the “bimbofication” fetish scene … focusing on their massive fake breasts.
The report claimed Bryon told people he wanted “huge, huge ridiculous boobs.”
Kristi’s team later released a statement which read, “Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.”
Bryon and Kristi married back in 1992. They share three children and four grandchildren.
Something I remember about that moment was that the Noems’ South Dakota neighbors took HIS side. Like, he was or is more popular in their local community, and most of their neighbors felt sorry for him. Anyway, it’s not any kind of surprise that their marriage could not handle the stress of everything that went down. It’s all so tacky too, like everything in MAGAville. Just tawdry and low-class, like a trailer park soap opera.
Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Getty Images.
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- United States Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is seen during a US House Committee on Homeland Security hearing entitled “Worldwide Threats to the Homeland” in the Cannon House Office Building on Capitol Hill Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 11 Dec 2025 Credit: Mattie Neretin/CNP/INSTARimages
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- Kristi Noem, Governor of South Dakota appears before a House Committee on Natural Resources hearing on H.R. 3397, to require the Director of the Bureau of Land Management to withdraw a rule of the Bureau of Land Management relating to conservation and landscape health, in the Longworth House Office Building. Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 15 Jun 2023 Credit: Rod Lamkey/CNP/startraksphoto.com
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- Kristi Noem, Governor of South Dakota appears before a House Committee on Natural Resources hearing on H.R. 3397, to require the Director of the Bureau of Land Management to withdraw a rule of the Bureau of Land Management relating to conservation and landscape health, in the Longworth House Office Building. Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 15 Jun 2023 Credit: Rod Lamkey/CNP/startraksphoto.com
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- Kristi Noem, Governor of South Dakota appears before a House Committee on Natural Resources hearing on H.R. 3397, to require the Director of the Bureau of Land Management to withdraw a rule of the Bureau of Land Management relating to conservation and landscape health, in the Longworth House Office Building. Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 15 Jun 2023 Credit: Rod Lamkey/CNP/startraksphoto.com
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- United States Secretary of Homeland Security (DHS) Kristi Noem participates in a Cabinet Meeting in the Cabinet Room of the White House in Washington, DC Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 08 Jul 2025 Credit: Aaron Schwartz/POOL via CNP/INSTARimages.com
I feel bad for him. She was the one with all this terrible public behavior. What he was doing was with consenting adults, and to be outed to the world, just because of who he is married to is not right.
They’re not divorcing because he’s horrified by her behaviour; he stood shoulder to shoulder with her as had people assaulted, kidnapped and exiled to foreign prison camps. He’s every bit as disgusting as she is (for reasons that have nothing to do with his sexual tastes).
Of the two, I suppose he is the less vile but he still fits that Republican mold of keeping everything in the closet while pushing policies that deny rights for others who don’t fit their sanctimonious white Republican Christian mold. No sympathy from me for this disgusting, stupid, repulsive pair. They got what they deserved and I hope South Dakota white people start waking up.
This is @PaintyBox, sanctimonious is right, spot on. The Christian politics of the US always strikes me as a class war by proxy — like, you’re our kind of people, or you’re not our kind. And by “kind” a whole spectrum of attitudes, habits, expectations, and lifestyle default settings is implied, like bundled software, as one FT columnist opined. It spills over into politics because of the gatekeeping imperative in this project: you can’t be my neighbour if you’re not like me. It escalates to, you can’t live in my country if you’re not like me. They call this patriotism. They look like someone took the OG national socialist party and incubated a sample cell in the anonymity of the Midwest. Very Dr Strangelove. Hence their true kink is always busting through the veneer. They’re into bondage and domination and sadism. It’s not just about their sex lives.
Her sneering testimony in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee made a hater out of me. Of course her actions as DHS already had me there but I remember being just so stunned that anyone would be so openly disrespectful, it really was a new low in American politics. Watching her defend those abhorrent policies and hurl libelous accusations was so stomach churning I wonder if we’ve lowered the bar permanently.
Not enough bad things can happen to her as far as I’m concerned, and as you can see by this statement she’s lowered the bar on my humanity as well. Burn the whole Republican Party down please, we’ve had enough.
Calling it quits. As is her political career. She should be on the inside of a prison IMO