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There was a lot of anticipation recently over the news that a “celebrity” would come out this week on the cover of People. Then the news got leaked that the “celebrity” was a country star named Chely Wright who had very poor name recognition. A lot of us, including me, shook our heads and thought that Wright was coming out in order to promote her new memoir and album release after a rough span in her career. That could be the case, but Wright’s story is still a very moving one, and now that I’ve heard it I’m glad she’s getting some publicity. She’s also not featured on this week’s People at all. The cover has come out – you can see it on Cover Awards (we’re gun shy after People sent us a DMCA notice for just the cover with Sandra Bullock’s baby) and it’s about Bret Michaels’ health scare. Wright isn’t even on an inset box this week. People has already put her story on their website, and may have made the decision to feature more saleable celebrities instead of Wright. It’s unknown if they ever meant to put her front and center or if that was just a rumor.
Chely was on The Today Show this morning (video is at the top of this page and on the Huffington Post) and after watching the interview I’m glad she’s getting coverage of her story. It’s an important one and she may help other closeted people understand that they’re not alone. I like that she said that being gay is not incompatible with being a Christian or being conservative.
Chely Wright, who just came out on the cover of People, visited the Today show Wednesday to talk about her conflicted sexuality.
Chely told Natalie Morales she had known she was different from other girls since third grade. “Please don’t let me be gay,” she would pray to God.
She said she felt like she had to stay closeted in the conservative country music community and even dated male country singers Brad Paisley and Vince Gill while in a secret long-term relationship with a woman. Eventually she could no longer live a double life.
“I had a 9 millimeter gun in my mouth,” she said. “I was taking inventory of my life and I realized I had pieces that I just couldn’t get to intersect. I was living a secret life and I was very much a country music celebrity, and I saw no way to get those to coexist. I gave up hope and I was ready to take my own life.”
Chely said that God eventually told her to tell the truth and now that she has it feels “incredible” and “as if it’s my birthday.”
[From Huffington Post]
Chely also said that John Rich from the band “Big and Rich” asked her about the rumors that she was gay and that she lied to him and told him she wasn’t. He told her that homosexuality was “sick, deviant,” and “unacceptable to country fans” which obviously didn’t help her tell the truth at the time. She said that now she’s not “afraid” or “ashamed,” now but that she hit rock bottom at one point about two and a half years ago and contemplated suicide. She prayed to God the next morning and said that she felt that he gave her a response that she needed to “tell the truth.” That’s so sad that she almost killed herself and prayed not to be gay when she was a little girl! She seems like such a sweet person and I’m glad that we were able to hear her story. Good for her for trying to break the stigma in country music and for coming out. I’m honestly sorry I doubted her motivations. Whatever they are/were, she deserves a lot of credit for putting herself out there.
i’ve always adored Chely Wright. And now I shall go buy 10 of her new cds to show my support for her.
I totally agree! I watched the clip too-and as a mother of young kids, it was heart breaking to think about her praying to God “not to be gay” as a third grader. Good for her for coming out now and living her life in truth.
psst – It’s Bret Michaels, not Andrews =)
lol thanks Lady! I’m writing too fast and will fix that!
This proves the point that being gay is not a choice but that people are born that way. Good for her for finally coming to terms with who she is!
Fuck John Rich. Nice to know people like that have all the answers to something they know nothing about. Fascinating, really. Should be interesting when/if he appears to be judged….since he’s so quick to do it himself, wonder if he can take the same.
Good for her; it shouldn’t be this way. What is she doing or has done that remotely affects Mr. Rich and others like him? Not a damned thing; and if it’s all about redemption, I think that’s between her and her god, not some ridiculous bullshit that others take what they want from and disregard the rest. I guess having someone else’s pain and heartache on their list of things to be entitled to is a given. Hope they never experience it themselves.
Good for you, Chely.
eta: For the record, my god loves all, regardless of orientation…because, after all, the were made by Him. Pure love. Interesting, that….
This is both sad and comforting at the same time. Sad, because it is terrible that people would be so terrified of being marginalized because of their sexuality, as to feel compelled to lie about it, not to mention be driven to suicide. As a society, we still have a long way to go before we can call ourselves civilized.
On the other side, I’m very happy that Chely Wright (whomever she is… Sorry!), can finally be open about this part of her identity and life, which should never be hidden nor denied, because it is not shameful at all.
By the way, has anyone noticed how we women tend to be more accepting of homosexuality in general, than men, who seem to be terribly threatened by it? It’s almost as if, by merely acknowledging the naturalness of sexual diversity, they were compromising their own masculinity. How bizarre…
Pont Neuf, I don’t think gender has much to do with it so much as how a person was raised and experiences they had with people who are different from them. I had a friend who was a homophobe, and she was raised in a household where the father was a religious control freak.
Is she single? Maybe she and Melissa Etheridge could get together–I think they’d make a cute couple.
Bravo Chely! She has an amazing voice, but, unfortunately, “Music Row” has always been more concerned with image than talent. Chely might have become a bigger star if it weren’t for her sexuality. Nashville and the entire country music community need to move into the 21st century and be more accepting of people that don’t fit into their narrow minded mold. I hope the fans will support Chely and her music.
I lived in Nashville when K.D. Laing was closeted but everyone knew she was gay. It was only a matter of time before she got disgusted at the saccharine hypocrisy of the music industry movers and shakers and decided to break the mold. It’s still a very conservative, superficial subculture in recording industry management there. Thank goodness the business isn’t controlled from Nashville so much anymore.
This is getting little attention in Nashville because of the tragic flooding in the area that has displaced so many people and affected several treasured musical landmarks. It’s a freeing and joyful moment for her as it should be but most people are focused somewhere else. I hope she can take a moment to use this platform to draw more attention to what’s going on in that community and be a part of recovery just like every other country act. I really really hope any outreach Chely does as part of the recovery effort is welcomed by the country music community.
It’s no surprise to people in Nashville that John Rich is a bigoted bully.
People mag has an excerpt from Chely Wright’s book where she talks about dating Brad Paisley for about 9 months. He told her he loved her and everything and she couldn’t bring herself to be honest with him. She says she hurt him pretty bad when she broke up with him.
Just be yourself, sister. People who love themselves tend to love others openly and with a clear heart. Those who judge you will themselves be judged. I may not feel the way you do but that wouldn’t stop me from repecting you and loving you all the same!
John Rich has made a bunch of racist and homophobic statements the last couple of years. He used to be respected but has become a complete joke. Maybe the fame got to him. I know it shouldn’t be an issue but I’m glad she’s not on the cover. It didn’t make any sense. I wonder how it even become such a huge story and blind item anyway.
Why are people made to feel they must make public announcements regarding their sexual preference? It is no ones business but theirs, it doesn’t make them less or more talented, nor does it change what kind of person they are.
This woman – nor any human being – should have to be fearful of being accepted based on their sexual preference.
I wonder if John Rich was the bully in school that caused young people to feel less than adequate, to consider or carry out suicide? If he is basing his remarks on Christianity – well, I am a Christian and whether or not God approves of homosexuality isn’t our business. God made it very clear we were not to be the judge and that God only hates sins – not sinners and we are to love our neighbors as ourselves.
BTW – I worked in Branson over 20 years. The Live Entertainment Capitol in the USA. Many Many country western stars have theaters and/or homes there. I would put money on the fact there are a higher % of gays in Branson than in San Francisco. I don’t want to just say they were accepted – because it wasn’t even an issue!!!!!!!
Mark 10:25: “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a Rich man to enter into the kingdom of God”
Maybe he meant John Rich!
She’s pretty and brave-happy birthday honey!
She’s a Brilliant Person! 🙂
Chely Wright is sooooooooo country. The troops. The flag. The religious faith. The looks. There is a growing acceptance of gays in many, many parts of rural America because more and more country kids are coming out — and then there’s that sweet Ellen DeGeneres (Texas and Louisiana). Fundamentalists and insecure bullies will, of course, never accept her, but she’s got a shot at keeping/renewing her career. It won’t be through Nashville, though.
Didn’t John Rich name his kid Cash?
good for her, i think it’s wonderful that she is coming out and trying to rid herself of these painful memories and trying to shed some light on how much prejudice exists in the country music world (and the world in general) and i think that an article like this will be really helpful to a whole generation of little country music girls. trust me, i grew up in a small, southern area and i have to tell you, there really is no other kind of music besides COUNTRY MUSIC. maybe some classic rock thrown in there…but that is really about it. it’s all country all the time, that is the norm. and can you imagine how many little boys and girls there are out there that feel so conflicted because they don’t know how to feel or what to do since people like the guy from Big&Rich feel SOOO compelled to put their ignorant and hateful feelings out there…
on another note, i always thought that Kenny Chesney was also gay and that was the reason that him and Renee Zellwegger got divorced. i always said that!!! i remember when it happened because i thought there may have been some rumors in the country music world that he was gay, so what better to do than marry (very quickly i might add) a VERY famous Hollywood actress to dispel those rumors. i mean, you can’t be a country superstar if you’re gay, right?!?!? and you can’t be gay if you are married to Renee Zellwegger, right?!?!?! i also kind of thought that she wanted to have kids and a couple months into the relationship when she realized he was gay she divorced him..remember the shady divorce papers?? she checked the reason off as “FRAUD.” who the heck says the reason the marriage is over is because of FRAUD in the relationship, usually you would say the typical “Irreconcilable Damages” or whatever it is…but not “Fraud.” and trust me, coming home from shooting that movie that she was doing at the time to find your husband in the middle of an affair with another man, that would certainly qualify as FRAUD, especially if you thought you were in love with this man and wanted to have children because he had told you that he loved you too. the whole thing was shady…. i wouldnt be surprised if i was right all along after reading this story….
”I was very much a country music celebrity…”
Really? when?It’s all BS,but its a great way to sell books,i’ll give her that.
The struggle,the shame,why me?
Yeah and throw in the name of the Lord so that people get behing you.
pllllease,i dont buy half of her story!
love is not a sin, no matter who you love.
We used to get CMT in the UK many moons ago and ‘Shut up and Drive’ was one of my favourite country music songs.
I have to say that was one of the best presenters I’ve seen on US tv, she gave a smart but sensitive interview.