Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman keep the neighbors awake with loud pool sex

New parenthood means late nights, but usually those nights are spent changing diapers, cleaning spit-up off your clothes, and waking up every few hours to feed a screaming baby. Not at the Aguilera-Bratman household, though: the couple has been making quite a racket recently with their skinny-dippin’ sex sessions.

Having a new baby at home hasn’t extinguished the sparks between Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman!

The new parents are so determined to keep their two-year marriage red-hot that they’ve taken to skinny-dipping by moonlight. The couple, who welcomed son Max into the family on Jan. 12, can be heard loudly frolicking in the pool of their $11.5 million Beverly Hills mansion around midnight.

“They don’t just splash around — they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises,” says a source. “We’re happy that they’re happy, but we wish they’d keep it down a bit. There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don’t like noise after the dinner hour.”

Still, the 27-year-old pop singer and her record producer husband, 30, are preferable to the house’s former owner, Ozzy Osbourne, adds the source. Ozzy — who sold the Mediterranean villa after wrapping up his MTV show, The Osbournes — would blast “horrific, ear-splitting rock music.”

[From Star Magazine]

I dunno, if I paid $11 million for my house, I’d be as loud as I pleased every damn minute of the day. Old people are mostly deaf anyway- if they don’t like it, they can just turn up the volume on “Murder, She Wrote,” and drift off to sleep. They’re probably just jealous that these two young people can still actually enjoy themselves. Besides, they should be used to the screaming and the swearing from the Osbourne family. This story is funny and would even be kind of hot if Christina’s husband weren’t a troll.

Note by Celebitchy: I remember watching The Osbournes and seeing them throwing shit over the fence at the neighbors, whom Sharon hated. I don’t remember what kind of feud they had going on but it sounds like these same neighbors are talking to the tabloids about Aguilera. Christina told Ellen that a lot of tour buses stopped by her house due to the popularity of the Osbournes’ show, but that the back, with it’s waterfall and pool, was completely secluded and made it feel like she was on vacation. Maybe she should have watched the show more carefully to see what assholes the neighbors were.

Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman and friends are shown outside a sushi restaurant on 3/16/08, thanks to WENN.

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16 Responses to “Christina Aguilera and Jordan Bratman keep the neighbors awake with loud pool sex”

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  1. geronimo says:

    Very funny write-up, MSat. Love the implication that they can “laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises” but only BEFORE the dinner hour! Neighbours need to lighten up.

  2. Dia says:

    Sharon was throwing stuff at the neighbors because they complained about their dogs…i think.

    A similar issue was at the Hogan’s.

  3. lola lola says:

    I smell a press release. Ever since she had the baby, they both look so unhappy. She’s still so puffy looking after having the baby and looks downright miserable. They don’t look like 2 people having a lot of hot sex.

    p.s. but I totally agree, for $11M, do what you want. If the neighbors don’t like it they can call the police, not the Star.

  4. Daisy says:

    fake BS if you have to talk , gloat about sex you ain’t getting any.
    I always sruprised with all their $$ and million dollar homes how they can have neighbor so close by that they hear your sex moans

  5. mollination says:

    Daisy and Lola Lola- I was thinking the same thing. This sounds like something Christina made up and put out there!

    Haha MSat, turn up “murder she wrote” …

  6. Anna says:

    I agree with you MSat, these neighbours are just jealous. And of Christina’s fame too, probably. Even back on “The Osbournes”, it always seemed like they secretly wished the tabloids would come to them and make them famous.
    I say go on moaning Christina! As long as it doesn’t wake the baby, it’s not a tragedy, right? :) :)
    Btw, that is one fabulous purse she’s holding in the pics, anyone know what it is? I’m handbag crazy!

  7. Claire says:

    Sounds like the neighbours are jealous. They’re probably upset because they have to go to bed with the same old bag of bones every night.

  8. Mairead says:

    Wonder what effect chlorine would have on all that warpaint?

  9. Allie says:

    You’d think that with an $11 million home you’d have a yard big enough that you could make sexin noises without the neighbors hearing.

  10. Ur A Loser says:

    This is BS! Look how chubby Cristina is & wtf is up w/her clown makeup?

  11. Jesse says:

    I’ve been the house. It’s pretty awesome, but the backyard isn’t huge. The pool is awesome and the recording studio is pretty cool in the back, but it’s not really spacious. She definitely paid for the location and the house, not the size of the yard.

  12. Natasha says:

    whales tend to make a lot of noise when they’re playing.

  13. Kevin says:

    I dunno Natasha. Wouldn’t mind logging some harpoon time with that whale myself. Jordan,,,enjoy it while you got it son.

  14. Park Avenue says:

    @ Anna: I’m a handbag fanatic, too! If I’m not mistaken, the style of bag Christina is carrying is called Ombre. I agree with Lola Lola & Mairead. It’s like Christina is trying to prove she is still “Dirrty.”

  15. Rianna says:

    its nice they are having sex and all but i am siding with the neighbours… hell no would i want someone that noisy living next door to me.
    i have had some awful bloody neighbours over the years. drug dealers, people who partied EVERY single night of the week till 3am. so yeah… i can understand why they would be pissed off.