Lindsay Lohan thinks she can get out of her jail sentence, crack drama ensues

wenn2622046

Yesterday, I gave Lindsay Lohan’s new lawyer Robert Shapiro a slow clap for seemingly keeping Lindsay’s last-minute crack drama under wraps and for maybe convincing Lindsay to go actually serve out her jail sentence. I slow clapped too soon! TMZ reports that Lindsay is still in crack denial about going to jail, and she expects Robert Shapiro to “pull a Shawn Chapman Holley” and get her off. Unfortunately for Lindsay, Shawn is probably still celebrating being fired, and is likely still on a week-long Mojito bender in Cabo, being serviced by lithe young men as her own personal celebration continues.

Robert Shapiro can work wonders — he was part of the team that got O.J. Simpson off — but sources in the crazy world of Lindsay Lohan say he has not convinced her that she must surrender to a jail sentence.

People who are interacting with Lindsay tell TMZ she has been in obsessive denial over her surrender Tuesday, when she must begin serving a 90-day jail sentence — which will be whittled down to 22 days behind bars.

Lindsay is convinced there is still a way she can avoid jail, even though Shapiro made it clear he would only rep her if she went to the pokey.

Here’s the irony — Lindsay expects Shapiro to pull a Shawn Chapman Holley … code for getting the judge to overlook her past screwups and keep her a free woman. Holley eventually quit when Judge Marsha Revel made it clear … there were no more cards to play.

And, we’re told, the reason it took so long to find a new lawyer is because Lindsay only wanted someone who could keep her out of jail but no credible lawyer would make that promise.

And here’s the thing. From what we’re hearing, there is no way in hell Judge Revel is going to back down.

[From TMZ]

TMZ also has a new interview with Lindsay’s delusional father Michael, who is still claiming that what Lindsay really needs is rehab, not jail (give her both, I say). Michael told TMZ: “I don’t know why Robert Shapiro did what he did, to be honest. If he’s representing her — ethically, as an attorney, he should have filed an appeal.” Eh. I don’t know what “ethics” have to do with it, and I doubt Michael even knows what “ethics” are. (“An exit on the New Jersey turnpike?” Michael guesses.) Shortly after Michael gave that statement to TMZ, Lindsay’s crack tweets began anew:

cracktweet

[From Lindsay Lohan’s Twitter]

Eh. I think Michael’s crazy too, but I thought Lindsay was actually letting him help over the past few weeks? It’s funny how Michael is only Lindsay’s “ex-father” when she’s pissed at him. She’s such a f-cking child.

Enjoy some more of my favorite photos ever of Lindsay, from last October.

wenn2621819

wenn2622043

Lindsay in NYC on October 19, 2009. Credit: WENN.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

60 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan thinks she can get out of her jail sentence, crack drama ensues”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. Riley says:

    She looks like Anna Nicole Smith.

  2. kelbear says:

    Riley, the outcome will probably be the same as well.

  3. Lady D says:

    If I saw that thing blowing a kiss at me, I’d duck and run. Unashamedly.

  4. texasmom says:

    Good God she looks old. And I say that as a 47-year-old freckled person aging fast in the Texas sun.

  5. hellen says:

    22 days?? Bogus. Of course, it’s not like we didn’t expect it, but it’s better than a pat on the hand and 86 minutes.

  6. irena NL says:

    Way, way to old before her time. Keep pampering her Dina and you’ll lose her sooner than later.

  7. Sumodo1 says:

    All of you are totally correct. She needs to be put away for awhile and dried out, too. Then, start fresh. Better for her, better for her career.

    If he can pull it off, God Bless Robert Shapiro, father of a worst-case scenario son.

  8. No Sensei says:

    But those are photos of Marilyn Monroe…? Whaad? I don’t get it…

  9. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    I don’t like Micheal Lohan either. He is part of the reason Linds is sooo effed up. He used to hit her mother and he was a violent drunk. Then he gets out of jail and he was ok at first but then he became a total ass. I don’t think he should be any where near her. I get major bad vibes from him. I just don’t believe he has her best interests at heart. He only cares about himself. He is a huge fame whore who should have focused on his children and paying some damn child support. I feel bad for Linds, but I hope this jail trip helps her heal, helps her see reality.

  10. Maritza says:

    Since she is going to jail I think she should dye her hair back to red because in 90 days those roots are going to be showing when she gets out.

  11. Obvious says:

    i’ll take the 22 days-however if i were sentenced to 90 days you better believe i’d have to serve the entire time. however-i think this means they should tack the rest of that sentence to her rehab stay.

  12. GrnMtGirl says:

    Ugh!!

  13. Sarah says:

    GOOD. LORD. It never fails to shock me old she looks. It is astounding that she is only 23.

  14. YT says:

    Ah, boo. Now she is drama-tweeting. At least Shapiro shut down Lindsay and Dina for awhile, and drama-tweeting is not as bad as some of the stuff she could be pulling.

    Tomorrow is the big day. I hope the judge can make it short and sweet. Look forward to interviews from Dina, Michael, and Shapiro.

    Michael needs a messed-up Lindsay so he can continue his paid interviews. She is his cottage industry.

  15. malachais says:

    That bronzer makes her looks like bacon. I don’t know why people feel bad for Lindsey, she has committed crimes and should be punished like anyone else. She has a troubled life, but she still has to serve time and follow all the rules set by the judge/probation officer. Its absolutely ridiculous to think she is above the law. I don’t think she can avoid it for much longer. What is she scared of in jail? There will be a bunch of bacon-faced drug addicts and alcoholics in there with her serving time for being irresponsible, like her.

    I don’t wish jail time on anyone, but I’m tired of hearing about how she is trying to find a lawyer that will keep her out of jail. It won’t happen – stop looking. Jail will be her intervention.

  16. gillie says:

    great googlie-moogly, that is one old-looking “child.” how very startling it must be to wake up and see THAT staring back you in the morning.

  17. logan says:

    She looks like she needs a good cleaning with Comet and a stiff brush.

  18. Mrs Odie 2 says:

    When my sister did 8 or 9 days of her 90 day DUI sentence, she had to do work release. Pick up trash, paint over graffiti, that sort of thing, for the remaining days, but it didn’t have to be in a row. Regular people in Lindsay’s position WOULD get early release for overcrowding.

    Neither jail nor rehab will teach her that she’s not magic. She spent her whole life being treated special and having the rules NOT apply to her. She would need to go to a mental institution. But the moment she gets out, the Lohan family and hangers on would go right back to treating her like she’s magic. She’s never getting over that people. Come Hell or high water.

  19. Lady D says:

    @obvious, hilarious suggestion. God I would love to see the look on her face if the judge did say that.

  20. DoMaJoReMc says:

    @ logan: This is EXACTLY what I think every stinkin’ time I see this “”child.””
    She always look so damn dirty. YUCK!

  21. Kelley says:

    She’s an asshole, pure and simple. Never have I seen such a haggard-looking 23-year old. The duck-lips are bloody scary and yes, she does look like bacon, and boiled shit. Yikes.

  22. carrie says:

    actually she looks better

  23. denise says:

    She looks terrible in these pics. Horrid.

  24. Dejasade says:

    she is ROUGH looking

  25. TaylorB says:

    I think Zsa Zsa looks quite spry in these pics, I was so worried after her accident this weekend, but for 93yrs old she sure snapped back… what a trooper.

  26. logan says:

    @Dejasade, agree with you. Some sandpaper will smooth her right out.

  27. Leek says:

    She triggers my gag reflex.

  28. Obvious says:

    @Lady D, Why thank you. I’m convinced if it doens’t work it would be hilarious for awhile. Maybe more so then the ones of disbelief/shock/outrage over the original sentence.

    i honestly believe that jail will be easier for her than rehab-real rehab.

  29. newtsgal says:

    I’m willing to bet, that come Tuesday RS will show up to court without LL with some BS that LL has had a breakdown and shouldn’t leave his treatment center. Trying to get her out of jail time. Can’t you just feel a line of BS running down the hill, headed straight into the courtroom.

  30. andrea says:

    yeah, i usually feel like im in a “great place” too when im headed to jail….wtf? homegirl has two options: 1. go to jail 2. appeal, lose appeal, go to jail. that is all.

    i would say, “ethically, as an attorney”, that the ethical thing to do would be to advise her that her sentence is well within appropriate bounds and that an appeal would likely only result in more legal bills and bad press. also, not sure of the deadlines involved, but if she’s supposed to surrender tomorrow, it might be too late to file an appeal anyway.

    also, there was something from the DA saying that no notice for change of counsel has been filed, so as far as the court is concerned at this point, shapiro is not representing her. and from what i’ve read, she is supposed to surrender tomorrow and there are no further hearing dates set. sooooo, where does the idea come from that she won’t be going to jail???? ohhh riiiiight, drugs/delusions/etc.

    michael K called her mother “enablerham lincoln”. LOVE. IT.

    the crack tweets about her father are just uncomfortable. i’m so embarrassed. for her.

  31. aenflex says:

    This girl looks awful. I mean awful. I hope her stint in rehab works, she needs to some serious sleep and food and much less dermal fillers. ech

  32. Sassy says:

    She’s the most haggard-looking oompa loompa with duck lips I’ve ever seen.

    Crackie McCracken from Crackerville had better resign herself to the fact that she’s not special and if she breaks the rules, there are consequences. Ugh. She annoys me.

  33. denise says:

    Lindsay’s lips resemble a hemmorhoid.
    🙁

  34. Canucklehead says:

    It looks like she’s aging horribly. I would age her at about 35-40 right now.

    Yikes.

  35. jc126 says:

    Gosh, why do I have such a visceral dislike for her? Every time I see her photo, I want to punch her in the face.

  36. Jillian says:

    Wow, did Donatella Versace stop by and give Lindsay some tanning tips?

  37. andrea says:

    @canuckle – as a 34-year-old, i am offended! 🙂 she looks about 100 years older than me, not 1! 🙂 she totally looks like donnatella – NOT a good look!

    p.s. i worked at sephora a while ago at the 5th ave store in manhattan and donnatella would shop there – she’d buy a ton of skin care products from some brand, and when the reps for that brand found out, they asked us to swear not to tell customers that she used their skin care products! can’t blame them!

  38. MissyA says:

    I think Michael is a straight up Born-Again asshole. But I also think that Dina is the answer to this blind gossip piece ( http://blindgossip.com/?p=20029 ), therefore making Michael the only disciplinary figure in Lindsay’s life, and thus, an object of childish ridicule.

  39. gen says:

    @Andrea, hehehe….I would love for Donatella to find that out. I’m evil like that 🙂
    Seriously, those are like the worst pics of Lindsay.
    And another thing, she’s not just an addict, she got a dui & kidnapped people, that calls for jail time. Otherwise I would be all about rehab only.

  40. bb says:

    Whoa…no way is that ‘natural’ aging. This has got to be the result of some very heavy duty drugs, I’m thinking Dilaudid plus meth plus tons of booze. Zsa Zsa almost looks better than her.

  41. Laura says:

    Has anyone else noticed that through all of this she keeps advertising some fashion website on her twitter account? It’s obviously for money.

    I really hope jail and rehab turn her around for the sake of not seeing her in the media anymore. So sick of her.

  42. jules says:

    what’s with double tweeting basically the same thing?

  43. Jeri says:

    Should be an interesting couple of days unless she actually goes in without a scene, but, hey, this Lindsay so I we’ll probably see her make a scene.

  44. Majosha says:

    @Lady D: I’d run, too. FAST. She looks like a reanimated corpse.

  45. BrandyMc says:

    Comparing her to Anna Nicole and Marilyn is just wrong! Marilyn Monroe was the most beautiful actress ever! And Anna Nicole Smith at least in the beginning and end was also very beautiful. Linds looks just so old and ugly anymore. She used to be very cute in her Mean girls/confession of a drama queen era. Just goes to show you what drugs and alcohol can do to someones looks.

  46. Sophie says:

    she looks like a middle-aged porn star

  47. db8ng1 says:

    Poor, poor Lindsay. That child has no idea how good she had it and how she’ll never get it back. I can only see this ending very sadly.

  48. bondbabe says:

    I would let her out of her jail time IF she would go away. But that ain’t gonna happen, so it’s time to grow up and face the consequences of her actions. Go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass Go and do not collect $200.

  49. bellaluna says:

    I would think LL being in a “sober living house” run/established by her atty would be a MAJOR conflict of interest. I guess I’m just over-thinking it.

    LL is NOT in rehab; she’s in a “sober living house” which is where addicts go AFTER rehab, not INSTEAD of rehab. Can this “child” do nothing right? 😛

  50. womanfromthenorth says:

    She looks really bad in those pics, the only thing left….. going all Anna Nicole and dying.

    Thank God she has no kids to kill or leave behind.

  51. Cakes says:

    O.M.G. In the pic below the screen shot of her twitter…..she looks terrible. Bad skin, bad clothes, bad lip injections (although to be fair I havent seen any that look good), she looks like shes in her 40’s. Im happy that I quit smoking and drinking a couple of years ago (Im 25) and I dont tan anymore either. I would hate to look like LL one day.

  52. Anti-icon says:

    What a miserable family, la Lohan is. They should have agreed to do Celebrity Rehab, and I bet the judge would have gone easier, because it would have demonstrated LL & family’s willingness to face the public shame; and commitment to the FAMILY therapy process. But LL is too delusional and narcissistic and drunk to know a good deal when it’s offered. Shapiro appears to be advising the little crackhead appropriately. Judge Revel better bring down the gavel on LL’s head tomorrow; or recovered addicts will form of lynch mob. LOL

  53. CB Rawks says:

    God LiLo’s lips are terrifying.

    I LOVE Judge Revel. But if she in any way backs down or screws this up she is dead to me.

    To Michael Lohan: Yo MeshVest, you can’t appeal unless you have grounds, so suckit.

  54. great808 says:

    Is there nobody in the Lohan family who isnt delusional.

    Michael Lohan’s armchair legal advice is laugable. He probably believes he knows something about law just ebcause he went to jail. maybe for the Lohans that’s the equivalent of a college degree.

  55. Confuzzle says:

    All right Mr. De Mille, I’m ready for my close-up.

  56. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    Overcrowding is a powerful thing. 22 days, yeeesh! I’ve probably had periods last longer than that.

  57. What did she do to her chin, it’s all big and shiny! Are the lips done to distract us from that chin?!

  58. Andrea says:

    I really cannot believe that lohan and i are the same age.

    And if we want to compare other people, my mother is 49 & a heavy drinker….even my mom doesn’t look as haggard and old as lohan.

    This is sad. I hope she finds a way to turn herself around…

  59. mojoman says:

    my gawd, my grandfather has wrinkles on his forehead just like this girl, the thing is, he is 94 years old. Wow, not bad granpa!!

  60. saywhatiwantbitches says:

    Shes a dirty crackhead looking skank,should have buried that trash under the jail.

    P.S.
    Skanks alot