'08
OK! Magazine has a new story that could possibly be based on some insider information but doesn’t seem like more than wishful thinking. They say that Jennifer Aniston, 39, is having such awesome sex with singer John Mayer, 30, that she better watch out. Mayer is supposedly so good in that sack that he leaves women “ruined” for all other men and following him around like dogs in heat:
The actress, who is known for runnng errands in faded jeans and t-shirts, showed up at J.J. Custom Upholstery in L.A. on June 5 wearing a low cut maxi dress that showed off her toned arms and ample cleavage. The reason for her sudden sexed-up self? Lots of action between the sheets!
“John is good in bed,” a pal of the 30-year old singer-songwriter tells OK!. “Not just good, but sensational. Every girl I know who has slept with John says it was the best sex of their life. I’m not sure what exactly he does in bed, but after girls sleep with him, they’re ruined. They get totally hung up on him and want more! Whatever John’s secret is, he should market it. He could retire from the music industry.”
Dating a man nearly ten years younger seems to have done wonders for the Marley & Me star, who was previously married to Brad Pitt, 44. “Great sex with a younger man can improve anyone’s mood and attitude,” says New York-based relationship expert Cooper Lawrence, who has not treated Jen.
“Jen’s in a new relationship, and when you’re having great sex, you dress to reflect how you feel. Instead of dark glasses and dull dresses, Jen’s wearing short skirts and sexy tops. It’s like sending a message to the world.”
[From OK! Magazine]
So Aniston is wearing cute dresses and that must mean she has a satisfying sex life. According to various blind items that may have originated with our Lainey and are obviously about Mayer, he’s into some kinky stuff, and supposedly enjoys golden showers.
Mayer bragged about his prowess in a September, 2006 interview with Rolling Stone in which he smoked pot in front of the journalist. He called his penis “Dominican” because it was “so dark” and said it “hit six home runs last year.” He also said he had sex with about three girls a week when he was on tour.
After girls sleep with Mayer, they’re definitely ruined and can never have another guy again without fantasizing about him and the crazy, stream of consciousness sex. You almost have to be high to even understand how amazing Mayer is, it’s that transcendent. How sad for the rest of us that there’s only one Mayer to go around.
John Mayer is shown with Alicia Keys performing at the opening celebration at MGM Grant at Foxwoods on 5/17/08, thanks to WENN.
Written by Celebitchy
Posted in Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer, Sex
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41 Responses to “OK! Mag insider: “After girls sleep with John Mayer, they’re ruined””
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wow…why do girls think that sleeping with him will improve their lives in any way? I never understood groupies.
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I don’t get it at all. He must smell really good because if some skinny, woosy, fake sentimental, faux spiritual, wannabe insightful, humungous adam’s apple having turdalicious pop singer approached me and for some reason I was into it (stoned/drunk/ Brad Pitt dumped my ass) his peen being 4 shades darker then the rest of him would put an end to that.
God he gross.
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*barf*
In my experience as a somewhat slutty girl, a girl attracted to older, experienced men, if you’re advertising that much, you’re not fully stocked.
And if Mayer is bangin’ that many skanks (because let’s face it, girls hanging out backstage waiting to bang Mayer are skanks), he is as STD-ridden as they come.
And as for Aniston dressing sexier? A lot of immature women in their 40s do that. It’s called cougarhood.
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His penis is “so dark”? Eww wtf does that mean? Sorry he does nothing for me in the looks dept. His dick better dance!
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He must have learned a lot from Jennifer Love Hewitt & her “wonderland” body. She didn’t seem to have too much trouble getting over him & is about to get married.
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Alexis, LOL!! I totally second your note!! I couldn’t have find the better words for it!!!
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In my professional opinion I’d say it’s dark because it started to rot from all the skanks he’s been with. It happens. I’ve seen it.
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could also be a necrosis
I would like to have Scott F opinion on all that. Where are you when we need you ?
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I may be wrong velvet elvis, but I believe the medical term is “rot-dick”. I can’t be positive though since you are indeed the professional who can’t seem to beat the bitches off of him with a stick…haha…you crack me up!
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Oh bravo CB & Alexis!
And it’s John’s “friend” that’s spreading this is it? Suuuuuuuuure … a “friend”
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He reminds me of Lenny Kravitz, who was also quite the love ‘em and leave ‘em type in his day. Lenny (and his reported Prince Albert piercing) ended up alone when he hit his 40s. Let’s see where John Mayer is in 15-20 years.
That said, if I, personally, had to choose between the two, I’d still pick Lenny Kravitz. Or Slash. Slash had his fair share of women but didn’t make a big deal out of it, and now he’s happily married with kids.
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Mayer has sex. He sexes everyone up and he oozes sex wherever he goes. He has just so much sex and everyone wants him because he is sex. Sex is what Mayer is all about because he has a lot of sexy sex. Mayer is having sex right now and he’s got a dark penis.
So much for the allure of mystery…
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I don’t get him at ALL. That being said, I know what it’s like to be “ruined” by a guy and it sucks big time to be constantly searching for someone as good in bed.
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Am I the only person here who grins at the image of him peeing on Rachel Greene? Am I going to hell?
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Am I the only person here who grins at the image of him peeing on Rachel Greene? Am I going to hell?
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@ jaded envy- for some reason i think he would enjoy be the one being peed on!
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Jen and John are a fictional tabloid couple. Sad but true. Manufactured and BS spread for publicity career desperation.
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Maybe girls shouldn’t have sex with him in the first place because then everyone who follows him will pale in comparison. I don’t think I’d want him because who knows where that thing has been.
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Ruined? What, they all come out man-hating lezbots because he sucks so badly?
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Mayer doesn’t have a dick, so obviously, this story is fabricated.
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Am I the only one who will admit that if given the chance I would do sexy times with the Mayer till my coochie couldn’t take it anymore.
Guess that makes me a total skank.
He he he….
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I’d do him, just to see if the rumors were true… tho whilst in the midst of sexy times id be wearing a hazmat suit
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@Jaded Envy – no, you’re not the only one. The image of Mayer pissing on Aniston is one the greatest non-sexual fanatasies of my life, right up there with telling my ex-boss that everyone knows he’s gay.
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whaahahaha
HOW much did he pay this friend
to launch this storyy????
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His publicist deserves a big bonus for this BS…
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Candy,,,what in the world makes you think Lenny Kravitz is alone. Dude, I’m sure is still quite the stud. Just because he’s not an attention whore like John 0scarmeyer the dark wiener, you can bet he probably still pulls major bitchage,,,probably almost as much as velvet pelvis.
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It’s been my experience that most penises are darker in color than the body they’re attached to. He’s got a dark complexion, so the dark weenie isn’t surprising.
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I don’t know about Mayer, but I know my husband definitely did ruin me for all other men. I joke that it’s part of the reason I married him. Why bother after someone that talented?
But Mayer? I don’t know. Seems like such a strange story.
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There’s seriously nothing worse then being dicktamized…you end up getting into ridiculous relationships with serious douches (like this one)…
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What is this ‘dark-dick’ business? Is this the current rumor? And if so, is this supposed to be a compliment!????
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i totally hear you about the hue-i have radar for this-some guys have a peen thats considerably darker than their “skin” shade and its just not attractive. However if i had to guess i’d say Mayers is dark cos its been up too many butt holes
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TMI.
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LMFAO at Alexis comment. Strangely enough though I find him kinda hot. Yeah I said it.
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I do too, Ichooseme.
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BULL. He is a tiny looking man. No arms nothing! I don’t believe it. I do believe that he does ruin women though. I think when he needs new material he finds a new dame. Falls in love and then breaks up with her so he can be all depressed and write more music. Mark my words. He’ll break up with Jenny and then, suddenly be making a new album.
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another leaked story from huvane/aniston team.
do these people think we’re that dumb?
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I don’t know which is worse: hanging out backstage to bang John Mayer, or actually succeeding.
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being dickmatized….starts out soo great…until your crying to glamour magazine and trying to look “over” the person….that said, I’m a masochist and would LOVE to be dickmatized by John or anyone else any day of the week (except, thursdays…I’m super busy…okay, FINE, thursdays too!)
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Both Mayers and Derek Jeter pick their prey from Maxim magazines. Usually C-list crowd. Derek Jeter has been spreading his herp to his hit list of hollywood c-listers, which means between he and Mayers, they both are nasty and everyone knows Jeter is bisexual and keeps them for beards. Mayer’s been allowing nasty man Perez Hilton kiss all over him. Any woman that dates/sleeps with Jeter and Mayer are asking for std and an idiot.
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yall are right on the money. of course its a publicity stunt. John had a good following and was a well respected, *underground, low-key* relatively popular musician. All of a sudden, over the past couple of years he’s completely turned around and became a skirt chasing famewhore. Ask any old school john mayer fan, this shit is ridiculous.
Ask yourself this. Why did he date Jessica Simpson? Jennifer Aniston? The two most desperate women in hollywood? Does this not seem kind of suspicious?
John is one of the many closeted celebrities in Hollywood. Actually, i think john might be one the few men that are actually bisexual, but either way, this with jennifer aniston is nothing but publicity to get off of Perez’s lie detector test.
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Six home runs????
I’m not American but surely he’s not talking about baseball.
Is he talking about orgasms? Spontaneous combustions? What?Pregnancies? Surely he wouldn’t that blokey to boast about getting six women pregnant? That would be irresponsible.
I don’t get the attraction at ALL.
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