Yesterday, after I wrote the story about Jessica Simpson’s engagement, I had a chuckle when someone commented that NOW we would be able to forget about Jessica, and that we should be able to stop doing stories about her. It still makes me laugh, honestly. Because that budget, fugly ring is only the beginning. From here on out, there is going to be a ton of new interviews with Jessica and Eric, there will probably be some sort of reality show being pitched, or at the very least, a “special” two-hour “Making of… Jessica’s Wedding!” docu-drama on one of the major networks. We’re going to have Jessica stories coming out the wazoo (Jessica’s wazoo farts smell like cheddar and tragedy).
Already today we’ve heard about Joe Simpson’s sad congratulations to his daughter, and the rumor that he is going to force Jess into getting a pre-nup from Eric. Beyond all of the wedding stuff, though, we still have this story: Jessica announced her engagement nine days after her ex-husband. Us Weekly already has a poll up about who has the better ring, Jessica or Vanessa (hint: Vanessa). And that will only be the beginning of the “Race to the Altar” between the two exes. So it is an obvious question: was Jessica trying, in her f-cking stupid, dipsh-t way, to one-up and c-ckblock her ex‘s thunder? Why get engaged so soon after Nick? Well, People has a little story about why now:
It is the ultimate race to the altar! Nearly five years after Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey split – a mutual decision after three years of marriage – both stars are officially ready for round two.
Just a week after Lachey, 37, popped the question to longtime girlfriend Vanessa Minnillo, 30, whom he began dating in 2006, Simpson’s beau, NFL player Eric Johnson, seemingly took a hint.
Johnson, 31, proposed to Simpson, 30, and now she has the ring to prove it.
Timing aside, however, a source tells PEOPLE that Johnson “had been planning the engagement for awhile and the date of the engagement was a special date for them.”
Meanwhile, Todd at IDLYITW had a tip from a source close to the situation, who said: “A coworker of mine is related to Eric Whathisface, current Jessica Simpson squeeze. He’s from the Philadelphia area, so am I, so is my coworker, blah blah blah She told us yesterday that Jessica and he got engaged. The engagement was on 11/11 at 11:11 in the morning. I sh-t you not.” I want to believe that’s true, just because it’s so f-cking asinine. THAT is the “special date” that a source close to Eric was speaking of? Just a bunch of ones lined up in a row. Is that how far both of them can count? And if it was on the 11th, that would make it last Thursday – exactly one week after Nick announced his engagement.
UPDATE: Us Weekly just put up another story! I told this sh-t isn’t going away anytime soon. Nick Lachey has spoken, and he’s still keeping it classy: “I will say the same thing I always say: I wish her the very best.” He also says that he and Vanessa Minnillo are “still basking in the glow… [we] are enjoying that. I’m sure we’ll get on the other planning shortly. We are now just enjoying this experience.” It sounds like Nick is smart enough to know that he doesn’t have to cut Jessica down, and that he knows Jessica already looks crazy pathetic.