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Either Jessica Simpson isn’t pregnant, or she isn’t at all concerned about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past Jessica to not know what FAS was, so I’m still somewhat unconvinced that she is not with child. According to Page Six, Jessica and her fiancé Eric boozed it up two nights ago after the Rockefeller Center tree lighting. You know what doesn’t get enough coverage? The idea that Jessica is a total boozehound. Don’t get me wrong, I like nothing more than pouring myself a stiff cocktail to watch NCIS (for real), but it seems like a lot of stories about Jessica revolve around her drinking. Todd at IDLITW often refers to Jessica as a barely functioning alcoholic – although he could just be writing that for comic effect (?).
Jessica Simpson put pregnancy rumors to bed once and for all by downing margaritas and tequila shots with new fiancé Eric Johnson at Stanton Social after performing at the Rockefeller Center tree lighting on Tuesday. The singer took a table of 20 which included father Joe Simpson, her assistant and security guards.
A spy told us, “They were very well-mannered and drank basil lime gimlets, pineapple 75′s, Maker’s on the rocks, margaritas and wine. They ordered a lot of food. Jessica let her guard down enough to steal a few kisses from her fiancé in front of papa Joe. Jessica, Eric and the crew settled on shots of Don Julio to finish out the evening.”
[From Page Six]
That sounds like an enormous amount of liquor, right? If I had a night like that at my age (I’m close to Jessica’s age), I wouldn’t be able to function for days, probably. We’re not in college anymore, you know?
Here are some photos of Jessica and Eric. She looks great for someone who just climbed out of a bottle. Eric looks pretty rough though. Like a man who just realized what he’d gotten himself into.
Photos courtesy of Fame.
Written by Kaiser
Posted in Alcohol, Eric Johnson, Jessica Simpson
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37 Responses to “Jessica Simpson is spending her engagement at the bottom of a bottle”
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I wonder what it feels like to be a woman living your life on stilts.
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“Eric looks pretty rough though. Like a man who just realized what he’d gotten himself into.”
LOL so true! ha
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Well, there’s the reason for her weight gain: booze bloat! Lots of salt around those margarita glasses, you know?
@ Kaiser – I could drink like that at 30, but I stuck with the cardinal rule of booze: DON’T MIX YOUR LIQUORS. No faster way to sickness and/or a hangover. Also, stick to clear liquors without added flavours/mixers. Drink it very cold, straight, and clear. Think White Patron, Kamikazes, etc…just not together.
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Her bloat always looked like booze bloat to me. The face is too puffy and it comes and goes really quickly.
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She is wearing a shirt by Mondo, it looks cute with a black blazer.
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have to wonder how long it’ll be before she cheats on him.
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Hmmm – well if this is her after a wasted night, it, um, suits her. Because she looks better here than she has in awhile. But then, when she’s just in jeans, heels and a jacket, she usually looks pretty OK. But yep, I’d say she can drink that doofy-lookin man-accessory of hers under the table – he looks like death….
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I wish I could be as rich as her and be a barely functioning alcoholic. Although I have no doubt Jessica is not herself bright, she’s smart enough and to surround herself with some really brillant business-people. Maybe her fiance realized that he could learn more from those people than from business school.
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Eric looks really, really dumb. And that’s usually pretty hard to accomplish when standing next to Jess.
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@Isabel, the blind leading the blind.
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bellaluna – I don’t mix my liquor, ever. I used to have a Jessica Simpson-esque alcoholic stamina, but these days I’m a light-weight. I have a late drink more to help me sleep than anything else.
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This chick needs to start dealing with her issues…it’s not cute anymore.
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@Kaiser the key is the amount of food they were eating if they paced themselves and drank from say 8 to 1 I can see it happening even with mixing liquors I am in my mid thirties.
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She goes out with her fiance and has a few drinks, and now shes a drunk?????
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OMG KAISER me too!
i am thinking of investing in some good rocks glasses
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@ Kaiser – Yeah, I’m not sure anyone other than maybe NFL linebackers have Jess’ alcoholic stamina. I’m not an every day drinker, so I don’t have that kind of stamina either. But man, oh man, 30 was a GREAT year!
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That is what booze does to ya..
BLOAT!
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I like her t-shirt.
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The booze is probably responsible for most of her weight gain – and the munchies that go along with it when you “relax” your inhibitions.
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yeah i guess thats why she isn’t losing weight
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I’ve thought she’s got a drinking problem for a long time. But if she’s got that kind of bloat going? Whoa. She’s in tough shape.
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Their body language is not in sync at all … not like two people in love. She is smiling for the cameras and the fact that she has a man and loves to hang on to his arm; he just looks bewildered most of the time. Poor Jess needs a man and can’t stand to be without one. God I can’t wait to see how this pans out …
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Well no wonder she looks so damn bloated all the time! After I turned thirty everything I drank settled on my waist and face as FAT. This guy must really want her money BAD!
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WHAT is going on with this guy’s hair?? Every photo I see it looks like he just climbed out of bed after a wild night on the town. Is it because he’s balding and thinks the messy do hides the shiny spot? Ugh.
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I LOVE her t-shirt!
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That would explain
a) the weight gain
b) the fact that in nearly every picture that exists of her, she looks like people are trying to hold her up.
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My booze consumption is so erratic. When bartending (just quit) I could do 20 shots a night and was known for my drinking stamina. But if I was to sit down for dinner, any more than 6 and I’m done for the night. Either way, I’m always hurting a little the next day.
But I would agree that her weight might be alcohol related; even if you’re watching your food, those few drinks a night can really pack it on.
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.
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pictures can be telling, perhaps, but a lot of times it is like one click of a mili second, and what might be a larger context is not something of which we may be aware of or have the ability to see.
bla bla bla, and i don’t care.
he might be making that face because he feels like he needs to fart for all we know. her shirt is horribly ugly.
he won the lottery. lol
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I agree, his hair looks incredibly stoopid. And the mouth gaping doesn’t add any points to his visual IQ.
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she is a lush. rehab next?
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I think shes just binge drinking a bit because her career is in a rut. If she was in the UK or Ireland this would be considered normal but to Americans, its alcoholism…
She looks clingy in the photos and he looks like hes only in love with himself, like literally running away ha. poor girl hope she wises up!
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She’s clinging to him, and he’s standing as far as possible away from her…
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Lighten up, people! Your Puritanical roots are showing – with a few excellent exceptions. So the girl has some drinks… So what? 30 is young and the sooner you realize that, the better off you’ll be. Have some fun and try to obsess a little less about temporary booze bloat! Jessica may not be Mensa material, but as someone mentioned, she’s surrounded herself with enough smart people to never need to work again. I only wish I could say the same- don’t you??
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Honestly, I NEVER found her antics “cute.” I watched Newlyweds, and dear GOD, was she annoying. She was crude, disgusting, and dumber than a fucking brick. Nick was just a really nice, normal guy from the Midwest who put up with an enormous amount of shit from the entire Simpson family. He treated her GREAT. He was always sweet and considerate and she rarely returned the favor. She behaved mostly like a stupid, spoiled brat and I’ve seen little behavior on her part to indicate that she’s changed or truly grown up.
Also, I find the recent news of her belief that Nick “stole her money” is hilarious. Really, Jessica? The only reason there was no prenup was because SHE and her gold-digging father refused to sign one. Because when she and Nick married, HE was the more famous, successful of the two. And they didn’t want to be blocked from any of Nick’s money if the marriage failed. And the only reason she got any of those endorsements in the first place was because of the success of Newlyweds, whose success was largely due to Nick’s presence. He was fully entitled to half of everything the couple earned during their marriage, and even then, he was classy enough to take significantly less than that half. He could have taken her and her asshole father to the cleaners, but he didn’t. I highly doubt that had the situation been reversed, they would have done the same.
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Kristen: I agree totally with you, and I think that Nick only wanted to write the word END to their marriage, so he gave her -and her father- whatever they wanted.
But still I can’t hate her, she makes me sad: she’s not intelligent, she’s not so talented, she’s a famewhore (not like Kim Kardashian or Hedi Plastic they make me furious, Jessica is an harmless one)but she always managee to screw in a very embarassing (for her) way everything she does.
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30 is old? Wow…..what a scary place the world has become, well i wish i could gain the weight with all the booze i take down, but it just isnt coming, so i guess i am a skinny almost 30yr old alcoholic hey.
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