Prince Charles accidentally booked Dita Von Teese for Prince Harry’s birthday

Prince Charles committed quite the royal accident recently when he invited Dita Von Teese to perform at Prince Harry’s upcoming birthday party in September. Charles met her at a Cartier event, and had no idea who she was – other than a “dancer” as she put it. Thinking she was pretty – and she does appear very classy – he said Harry loved dancers and suggested she perform. Once he’d been informed by his aids about exactly what kind of dancing Dita does, he “his fist to within an inch of its knuckle.”

The generously-eared royal [Prince Charles] met the gothic flasher at the toff-infested Cartier International Polo Tournament at the Guards Club in Windsor, London. Charmed by her alabaster assets, he asked what she did for a living and Dita, 35, replied: “I’m a dancer.” This vague job description failed to convey that her act involves giving a rhythmic biology lesson in a giant martini glass and doing the sort of things to a massive olive which are illegal in most countries.

Perhaps buoyed by the sun and Pimms and presuming her performance involved a cheeky Charleston, Chazza invited her to perform at Prince Harry’s 24th birthday. Our man said: “Poor Charles was so embarrassed when he realised what he’d done. He genuinely had no idea about her raunchy stage act. She was stunned when he suggested the idea, explaining that his son loved a good dance.

“But he gnawed his fist to within an inch of its knuckle when his aides explained what sort of dancing she did for a living.” We’re sure Prince Harry will forgive his old man when the burlesque performer toasts his big day with a giant glass of champagne garnished with her own breasties.

[From the Daily Star]

It’s hard to tell just how accurate this story is, but it certainly seems like the kind of mishap that could legitimately take place. Prince Charles doesn’t exactly strike me as someone who is super up-to-date and current on the hot celebrities. Though one would think he would have someone apologize to Dita Von Teese and cancel her performance. As interesting as that would be, I think it could make for quite the royal scandal. And they really don’t need any more of those.

Here’s Dita Von Teese and Prince Charles (with his wine powered Aston Martin – coolest thing ever) at the Cartier International Polo tournament in London on Sunday. Images thanks to WENN.

 

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37 Responses to “Prince Charles accidentally booked Dita Von Teese for Prince Harry’s birthday”

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  1. Kristin says:

    I bet that family would have her apologize.

  2. Kaiser says:

    First of all, what Dita does is closer to performance art than “stripping”. Dita performs at huge corporate events, with CEOs and their wives.

    Secondly, Prince Andrew has dated porn stars, for the love of God. I hardly think inviting the classiest stripper in the world to perform at Harry’s b-day party is some kind of scandal.

    *shrugs*
    Or maybe I’m just jaded.

  3. geronimo says:

    JB, you’re missing a ‘gnawed’ from the last line of your first par.

    Because of that, when I first read that sentence and saw “his fist to within an inch of its knuckle”, my mind went somewhere very different…. :mrgreen:

    Anyway, tame stuff, agree with Kaiser. I’m sure Harry and co will appreciate her.

  4. vdantev says:

    ‘Accidentally’, wink-wink nudge-nudge.

  5. Syko says:

    Geronimo, my mind was traveling right along beside yours.

    Got to get mine out of the gutter.

  6. Amy says:

    Yeah, that movie where she’s getting penetrated by the dildo stiletto is quite possibly the classiest thing I’ve ever seen. :roll:

  7. geronimo says:

    I know. Filthy. We’re a disgrace.

  8. Kaiser says:

    What’s that, Amy? Is that one of the pornos that Dita did before she became a “classy” stripper? Or are you confusing Dita with one of those Jenna “I bang four men and a dog at once” Jameson types?

  9. xiaoecho says:

    Geronimo……EEEWWWW! Prince Charles? Just eewww

    Prince Harrry’s as red blooded as the next man. Why not? Do they expect us to believe aristo’s are all eunuchs?.
    .
    .
    Amy…..What movie is THAT??? I want to see it

  10. Rio says:

    If my father booked Dita Von Teese, “accidentally” or not, for my birthday, he would officially be the GREATEST DAD EVER.
    I bet Harry’s a bit disappointed that someone enlightened his old man :wink:

  11. daisy424 says:

    Kaiser, you crack me up

  12. Kaiser says:

    Thanx, Daisy. :) You’re one of my favorite Hardcore “I could bang four guys and a dog at once but choose not to” BADettes!

  13. geronimo says:

    xiaoecho – My reputation now at stake, not prepared to leave your response open to even the tiniest misinterpretation here!!

    For the record, that ‘fist to the knuckles’ thing was NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING REMOTELY RESEMBLING A PERSONAL FANTASY FOR ME!! NEVER. NO WAY. NO HOW. EUUUUUWWWWWWWW.

    Ok. Just clarifying. 8O 8O

  14. xiaoecho says:

    geronimo……I bet you say that to all the posters :wink:

    p.s. If it came across that way I didn’t mean it to…. :)

  15. daisy424 says:

    Kaiser, stop, you’re bringing tears to my eyes.
    Geronimo, your rep. just skyrocketed in my opinion :-)

  16. geronimo says:

    Xia – couldn’t take the risk! Not with Prince Charles involved.
    Daisy – secretly, if no one ever found out, I might. :twisted:
    No really, I AM joking. Now. Not earlier.

  17. Kristin says:

    Wth? Why are people getting off topic?

  18. xiaoecho says:

    Because we’re Freeeee………..free to get off topic whenever we want :P

    Who is that horrible looking woman manhandling Dita?

  19. daisy424 says:

    Please, our daughter told us what a donkey punch and dirty sanchez was.:oops:
    Hope I didn’t offend anyone.

  20. Cassie says:

    Actually, I think everyone’s pretty much on topic, if you consider the subject of the article to be ‘embarrassing and inappropriate situations.’ Which…I do consider it to be, haha

  21. jessiee says:

    Bodhi…I’m sorry, but that’s a terrific waste of good wine.

    ;-)

  22. SolitaryAngel says:

    Kaiser, I swear if you had a blog of your own I’d be the first subscriber!
    That said, I’d like to address Prince Charles and his cluelessness:
    Could it be because the Royal family have inbred for centuries? I mean, really–this is the genius who cheated on Princess Diana with that…that…Camilla?
    PS: I’d LOVE to be a fly on the wall at THAT birthday party!

  23. Kaiser says:

    Thank you again, Solitary. I’ve always thought/read that Charles went for Camilla because she looks just like his childhood nanny. EW.

    Also, Charles supposedly has a thing for black women. Diana Ross & Beyonce are two of his favorites. I don’t really see him *accidently* asking the pale-skinned uber-hottie Dita Von Teese to “dance” for him.

  24. boomchakaboom says:

    I think Prince Harry is going to have one hell of a birthday party.

  25. G. says:

    If I were Prince Harry, I’d be pretty pissed at whoever told Charles what dancing was.

  26. elisha says:

    Dita’s act isn’t all that raunchy. It’s really very tame. She even did a dance on Sharon’s Osborne’s show, televised.

  27. Mairead says:

    :lol: :lol: poor Charles – I’m betting Harry probably put him up to it! :mrgreen:

    Awww – leave Camilla alone. Meanies.

  28. Nan says:

    This site is Kaiser & Geronimo. ‘Nuff said.

  29. Nan says:

    Who is Kaiser & Geronimo? What do they do? Who’s clothes do they wear? Really, I think about this on a daily basis between my job and prayers for Swayze and Winehouse. Wow, the new Yankee candle of ‘Sun & Sand’ really does smell like the beach. I know better than to light it, though. I have cats.

  30. Anni says:

    dammit…i´d love to have dita perform for my birthay (which happens to be in two weeks…AAAAH! i am getting old)

    my man won´t mind her performing for me either.

  31. coconut says:

    btw, today, july 29 (well, still in california), was charles and diana’s wedding day, back in 1981. if they had remained married this would’ve been their 27th anniversary.

  32. Elizabeth says:

    What’s all the fuss? Harry’s 24. And he’s not a virgin.

    Besides, Dita is one of the classiest acts out there. Burlesque is sensual. And Dita is beautiful.

  33. gg says:

    I dunno, I’ve watched her before and don’t see any ‘dancing’ going on. All I see is somebody taking off her clothes for men. Stripper.

    I don’t mind her much with her clothes on – she doesn’t use that awful orange skin dye at least – but she’s a stripper, nothing more.

  34. Nan says:

    People here do realize that the English royal family, is in fact, German, right?

  35. SixxKitty says:

    Maybe she could teach Charles a few things Camilla would like, scrape that scowl from her face…

  36. Christina X says:

    It’s good to see some pale-skinned, black-haired women getting some attention for once!